Weddings and Receptions
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anyone who would think it is tacky is a pretentious jerk. Economy is down, people are getting more and more real about what matters and what is wasteful. Celebrate your day as you see fit, and listen to naysayers NOT
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See my wedding picture? The only money we spent on getting married was $50 for the license (a necessity), $20 for the ceremony (Heart of Reno Wedding Chapel) and $4 for the tulle I pinned into my hair. We used rings we had, clothes we already owned, we actually spent much more afterwards at PF Chang's for lunch than the entire cost of the "wedding"
The point of that is, we are 12 years together, happily married, and the low low cost of our wedding/elopement had no bearing on the success of our marriage.
Best wishes
he refuses to elope
... but it was my first thought! 0 -
First off, congratulations! When is the big day? I am getting married in 4 months and 1 day! We're both students and own our own home so neither of us have the money to pay for a wedding either, but I am lucky and my dad is paying for it. However, if he weren't paying for it I can say we would probably be doing what you are doing! I don't think it is tacky at all. It is your big day, and about your love and becoming husband and wife. Since you're having it in the afternoon and not at a meal time it is ok. People who are going to come to your reception are coming to celebrate your love for eachother. If they complain, then they are just rude and should not have come!
Congratulations again!!!!!!!!!
June 9, 2012 is the tentative date. If anything we'd only push it back one weekend if need be.
What a beautiful time of the year! I wanted a June wedding originally but there weren't any venues available and I didn't want to wait until next year, I'm impatient lol. No matter what you guys do it will be a beautiful day! And having it outside would be perfect for that time of year, which could save you money as well!0 -
First off, congratulations! When is the big day? I am getting married in 4 months and 1 day! We're both students and own our own home so neither of us have the money to pay for a wedding either, but I am lucky and my dad is paying for it. However, if he weren't paying for it I can say we would probably be doing what you are doing! I don't think it is tacky at all. It is your big day, and about your love and becoming husband and wife. Since you're having it in the afternoon and not at a meal time it is ok. People who are going to come to your reception are coming to celebrate your love for eachother. If they complain, then they are just rude and should not have come!
Congratulations again!!!!!!!!!
June 9, 2012 is the tentative date. If anything we'd only push it back one weekend if need be.
What a beautiful time of the year! I wanted a June wedding originally but there weren't any venues available and I didn't want to wait until next year, I'm impatient lol. No matter what you guys do it will be a beautiful day! And having it outside would be perfect for that time of year, which could save you money as well!
We live super close to a lake which would be great to do it at, but it costs $10.00/car to get into the area by the lake and I can't ask my guests to pay to attend.0 -
Don't think this is tacky at all. My only suggestion (as an event planner) is to make sure you have enough refreshments, no matter what they are. You could be having filet mignon, but if you don't have enough to serve at least some to everyone who wants it, people will still be disappointed. In your case this means having enough cake and punch to go around, and determining how many pieces of hors d'oeuvre per person you'd like to serve, and ordering accordingly. Maybe if you look at those numbers, you might find out that you need to stick with just cake and punch, to ensure that everyone gets a little. A tip for hors d'oeuvres--your money will go a lot farther if you can work out to pass the hors d'oeuvre, rather than have a buffet station. People tend to pile their plates high at buffets, but when offered a passed item, they tend not to take more than 1 or 2.
I agree that your loved ones should be there with you to celebrate your joy no matter what you are serving. That being said, I believe it to be more considerate of your guests to make sure that everyone gets a bit of something. You wouldn't want a percentage of your guests to feel unwanted.0 -
Nobody says that a wedding has to be a huge extravagant affair. My husband and I got married almost 7 years ago(second one for both of us) and we had an early afternoon wedding and some hors d'oeurves and wine & beer.
The end result is the same...you end up married. You choose how much debt you want to start your marriage off with!0 -
Don't think this is tacky at all. My only suggestion (as an event planner) is to make sure you have enough refreshments, no matter what they are. You could be having filet mignon, but if you don't have enough to serve at least some to everyone who wants it, people will still be disappointed. In your case this means having enough cake and punch to go around, and determining how many pieces of hors d'oeuvre per person you'd like to serve, and ordering accordingly. Maybe if you look at those numbers, you might find out that you need to stick with just cake and punch, to ensure that everyone gets a little. A tip for hors d'oeuvres--your money will go a lot farther if you can work out to pass the hors d'oeuvre, rather than have a buffet station. People tend to pile their plates high at buffets, but when offered a passed item, they tend not to take more than 1 or 2.
I agree that your loved ones should be there with you to celebrate your joy no matter what you are serving. That being said, I believe it to be more considerate of your guests to make sure that everyone gets a bit of something. You wouldn't want a percentage of your guests to feel unwanted.
Thanks for that advice... but what do I do, ask friends to walk around with trays of hors d'oeuvres?
I think the bottom of my invitation will state "Please join us immediately after the ceremony for cake, punch and a light snack"
think that will get the point across?0 -
Whatever you have is what you and he want...do not worry about what people think...it is your day!!!!
I personally would respect any couple that did anything they could afford...more so that a couple that took out a loan or went into debt trying to put on a show!
Few things that I (and my friends) have found to cut expenses...and these depend on how many people are coming
(1) look into Friday nights and Sunday afternoons...less expensive
(2) look for a hall where you can bring your own food...might be able to do appetizers with cake and punch
(3) if less than 100 people coming...look into a park...local park near my parents home offers a building for 4 hours for only $75
(4) My wedding and reception were in the same room...eliminated the cost of a church...still had our minister, but no church rental fee (any flowers for just one location and no limo to drive us from one place to the next)
if I think of anymore...I will send them to you in a msg! Good luck and do what you want...it is your day!!!!!!0 -
If you live anywhere near the Houston area I will make you a wedding cake for free to save you money!
Is Dallas close enough? Too bad you aren't in Austin, my bridesmaid lives there and I'm sure i could have asked her to bring it with...
Dang, my brother lives in Dallas. I would just stay with him and decorate the cake at his place but my husband and I are having major car issues so we wouldn't be able to go that far 0 -
If you live anywhere near the Houston area I will make you a wedding cake for free to save you money!
Is Dallas close enough? Too bad you aren't in Austin, my bridesmaid lives there and I'm sure i could have asked her to bring it with...
Dang, my brother lives in Dallas. I would just stay with him and decorate the cake at his place but my husband and I are having major car issues so we wouldn't be able to go that far
well boogers! Sorry about your car, and I really appreciate the offer!!0 -
When my wife and I got married (15 years ago) we made it a point to pay for everything ourselves. Our reasoning was that these were going to be the first major financial decisions of our lives together and that if we couldn't do it responsibly and on a budget then we should really reconsider if we were mature enough for marriage.
We scrimped and saved every dime that we could and put together a fairly nice wedding for $5000; which included everything from the rings and her dress to our honeymoon. We did an afternoon wedding just so we would not have to provide a full meal, but we did have passed hors d’oeuvres which added a touch of class while keeping costs down.
My father-in-law is relatively wealthy and wanted to pay for everything, but he respected our efforts. However, in the end, he did sneak around and made the final payments to the facility and caterer which he called our wedding present.
To this day, my father-in-law says that I earned more respect from him in the planning of our wedding than I will ever know.0 -
Whatever you have is what you and he want...do not worry about what people think...it is your day!!!!
I personally would respect any couple that did anything they could afford...more so that a couple that took out a loan or went into debt trying to put on a show!
Few things that I (and my friends) have found to cut expenses...and these depend on how many people are coming
(1) look into Friday nights and Sunday afternoons...less expensive
(2) look for a hall where you can bring your own food...might be able to do appetizers with cake and punch
(3) if less than 100 people coming...look into a park...local park near my parents home offers a building for 4 hours for only $75
(4) My wedding and reception were in the same room...eliminated the cost of a church...still had our minister, but no church rental fee (any flowers for just one location and no limo to drive us from one place to the next)
if I think of anymore...I will send them to you in a msg! Good luck and do what you want...it is your day!!!!!!
1) night = dinner = more money... even if we saved on the venue, it'd just turn around and go towards feeding people, sunday afternoon... well his parents attend church and I'd like to leave sunday as a travel day for those who come in from out of town
2&4)all the halls around us would take up about 500-750 and yes we could have both the ceremony and reception in the same room, but it's harder for people to see that way sometimes
3) I'm seriously thinking because of his parents large families, that it will end up being about 125... and the wedding is in June and I live in texas... you're looking at 95+ as a high for us... so outside isn't a fab idea.0 -
When my wife and I got married (15 years ago) we made it a point to pay for everything ourselves. Our reasoning was that these were going to be the first major financial decisions of our lives together and that if we couldn't do it responsibly and on a budget then we should really reconsider if we were mature enough for marriage.
We scrimped and saved every dime that we could and put together a fairly nice wedding for $5000; which included everything from the rings and her dress to our honeymoon. We did an afternoon wedding just so we would not have to provide a full meal, but we did have passed hors d’oeuvres which added a touch of class while keeping costs down.
My father-in-law is relatively wealthy and wanted to pay for everything, but he respected our efforts. However, in the end, he did sneak around and made the final payments to the facility and caterer which he called our wedding present.
To this day, my father-in-law says that I earned more respect from him in the planning of our wedding than I will ever know.
That's awesome... and I totally get where you're coming from.0 -
As long as there is something that your friends can share with you. I have some friends who have decided not to do anything and it kind of breaks my heart.0
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As long as there is something that your friends can share with you. I have some friends who have decided not to do anything and it kind of breaks my heart.
yeah, If we had a formal-ish sit down meal thing our list would only be about 40 people and a lot of people would understand but i'd prefer not to leave anyone out... they should be allowed to share in our special day.0 -
I don't want to sound like a dream killer (which is what my husband tell me I do all the time) but I think $1500 for 125 people is going to be very stressful.
so with $1500 =
Invitations (8.5*11 paper and envelope +$0.44 stamp assuming 60) = $32
If you buy a dress $99 (without alterations)
If you want cake (costco sheet cake, lets say $0.60) = $75
Marriage certificate/officiant ($100-300) = $120
you are already at $10 per guest for food and that's without decoration, flowers, drinks (even soda), hair or makeup, bouquet, veil, shoes, wedding bands, tux/suit, paper plates, garbage bags, venue, etc etc etc.
I don't know where you live or what people expect from weddings around your area, but I would feel obligated to go to a friend's wedding. They have to spend the time to get to your wedding (gas - which is quite expensive & maybe lodging) plus may feel obligated to get you a gift. I would make sure your invites state what type of wedding you will be having (as someone else said, "ceremony followed by cake" or something)
The only reason I guess I am so sour is because I had a friend who's wedding I went to 3 years ago, drove 4.5 hrs to, had to stay 2 days in a hotel, and gave a cash gift - it was a nice wedding and I gave what would cover me & my guests plate.
And then I find out she got divorced because they both cheated on each other.
She came to my wedding this year and I had a similar style wedding to hers. She drove 45min and didn't stay the night (lunch wedding). What did we get in return? a $20 gift card. Now I don't regret covering my plate. I am more mad that I drove out for that long and stayed in hotel with those days off, and they get divorced so soon after. I feel like the gift card didn't even cover 25% of the gas.
Sorry to vent. I know this has nothing to do with your wedding but I didn't have someone to vent to.
I think you can have a wonderful wedding for $1500, but it might be good to cut some out, you can always add more people later on 0 -
I don't want to sound like a dream killer (which is what my husband tell me I do all the time) but I think $1500 for 125 people is going to be very stressful.
so with $1500 =
Invitations (8.5*11 paper and envelope +$0.44 stamp assuming 60) = $32
If you buy a dress $99 (without alterations)
If you want cake (costco sheet cake, lets say $0.60) = $75
Marriage certificate/officiant ($100-300) = $120
you are already at $10 per guest for food and that's without decoration, flowers, drinks (even soda), hair or makeup, bouquet, veil, shoes, wedding bands, tux/suit, paper plates, garbage bags, venue, etc etc etc.
I don't know where you live or what people expect from weddings around your area, but I would feel obligated to go to a friend's wedding. They have to spend the time to get to your wedding (gas - which is quite expensive & maybe lodging) plus may feel obligated to get you a gift. I would make sure your invites state what type of wedding you will be having (as someone else said, "ceremony followed by cake" or something)
The only reason I guess I am so sour is because I had a friend who's wedding I went to 3 years ago, drove 4.5 hrs to, had to stay 2 days in a hotel, and gave a cash gift - it was a nice wedding and I gave what would cover me & my guests plate.
And then I find out she got divorced because they both cheated on each other.
She came to my wedding this year and I had a similar style wedding to hers. She drove 45min and didn't stay the night (lunch wedding). What did we get in return? a $20 gift card. Now I don't regret covering my plate. I am more mad that I drove out for that long and stayed in hotel with those days off, and they get divorced so soon after. I feel like the gift card didn't even cover 25% of the gas.
Sorry to vent. I know this has nothing to do with your wedding but I didn't have someone to vent to.
I think you can have a wonderful wedding for $1500, but it might be good to cut some out, you can always add more people later on
I found flowers for $300 which actually has a few extras that can be used as centerpieces when the ribbons/bindings are taken off the extra attendants bouquets.
party city = cheap = 110 for plates, forks, napkins
I'm a pretty crafty person, and I'm sure there's lots of stuff we can find for very little...
my officiant doesn't have a set fee he charges, he leaves it up to the bride and groom and where I live if you do premarital counseling (which my officiant does as a part of his services) the certificate is only $7
I live in a suburb of Dallas... and I don't think, with the economy the way it is, anyone would object to a very simple wedding considering both my fiance and I are very simplistic people and everyone knows it.
most of my guests live pretty close and wouldn't require hotel stays. Some of his family would be coming in from out of town, but they also are widely aware that the groom would rather stay at home and play video games or watch movies than go out and party... so I don't think our choice of 'reception' would offend them... and if they choose not to come, then that's their decision.0 -
I don't want to sound like a dream killer (which is what my husband tell me I do all the time) but I think $1500 for 125 people is going to be very stressful.
so with $1500 =
Invitations (8.5*11 paper and envelope +$0.44 stamp assuming 60) = $32
If you buy a dress $99 (without alterations)
If you want cake (costco sheet cake, lets say $0.60) = $75
Marriage certificate/officiant ($100-300) = $120
you are already at $10 per guest for food and that's without decoration, flowers, drinks (even soda), hair or makeup, bouquet, veil, shoes, wedding bands, tux/suit, paper plates, garbage bags, venue, etc etc etc.
I don't know where you live or what people expect from weddings around your area, but I would feel obligated to go to a friend's wedding. They have to spend the time to get to your wedding (gas - which is quite expensive & maybe lodging) plus may feel obligated to get you a gift. I would make sure your invites state what type of wedding you will be having (as someone else said, "ceremony followed by cake" or something)
The only reason I guess I am so sour is because I had a friend who's wedding I went to 3 years ago, drove 4.5 hrs to, had to stay 2 days in a hotel, and gave a cash gift - it was a nice wedding and I gave what would cover me & my guests plate.
And then I find out she got divorced because they both cheated on each other.
She came to my wedding this year and I had a similar style wedding to hers. She drove 45min and didn't stay the night (lunch wedding). What did we get in return? a $20 gift card. Now I don't regret covering my plate. I am more mad that I drove out for that long and stayed in hotel with those days off, and they get divorced so soon after. I feel like the gift card didn't even cover 25% of the gas.
Sorry to vent. I know this has nothing to do with your wedding but I didn't have someone to vent to.
I think you can have a wonderful wedding for $1500, but it might be good to cut some out, you can always add more people later on
That is an interesting point. In a perfect world all 125 people would be thrilled to be included in anything you were doing for your wedding, but that is not always the case. But, even if you are having a $50K wedding there would still be people who would resent traveling, hotel costs, etc. Sooo I guess you can't please everyone, and if you can't, screw 'em.0 -
More and more people are using evites, rather than formal invitations. You could even make a video of the two of you to really personalize it at no cost.0
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I don't see anything distasteful about it. A wedding is a reflection of the couple. The colors, the theme, the food, the atmosphere, its all a reflection of you. You have no obligation to go crazy outlandish just to suit the opinion of a few guest. Low key is nice, intimate, and very relaxed.
NOW it would be tacky if you did what my in-laws did. Have a destination wedding where you offer no financial help with travel/lodging (not that you need to but in their situation...well just let me continue, haha). You have your guest travel a ways away, even take ferries and pay expensive ferry fees to go to your wedding where the ceremony last 2 minutes, you are not even in your dress for 10 and then the food is crap, there is no entertainment. It is pretty much a back yard sub par bbq where you just spent over $100 to get to, to stay for an hour, and then leave. NOW that is tacky!0 -
More and more people are using evites, rather than formal invitations. You could even make a video of the two of you to really personalize it at no cost.
We're actually using 1/2 sheet size invites, printable so it's more of DIY project. We may go to kinko's to have them printed, but all in all (aside from postage) it should be fairly inexpensive. The invites we're looking are are a pack of 50 (invitation + envelope + rsvp card + envelope) for $20 per pack... so $40 for the invitations + printing + stamps... not too bad0
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