Confession....

ChubbyBunny

Alright, I've been MIA for a week or so cause I was spending it with my fiance before he deployed. I wasn't doing too bad calorie wise, despite rarely (if ever) working out. However, yesterday after they loaded up on the bus to leave and I headed home to Idaho (we live in neighboring states)... I totally binged. I haven't done it in months and I knew I shouldn't but I just did!

I felt bad...not horrible....cause I knew I'd have to get back on track ASAP. Which would basically be today.

There were just so many mixed emotions and stuff....we'd hoped to get married before he left but that never ended up happening. Since I am sure you can guess that I am an emotional eater due to the little bender I mentioned. I am really stressed out and depressed. I don't feel sad per say, but I don't really feel happy anymore either...I mean I don't even want to smile!!!

Anyway... I just wanted to get that off my chest.

ChubbyBunny

Alright, I've been MIA for a week or so cause I was spending it with my fiance before he deployed. I wasn't doing too bad calorie wise, despite rarely (if ever) working out. However, yesterday after they loaded up on the bus to leave and I headed home to Idaho (we live in neighboring states)... I totally binged. I haven't done it in months and I knew I shouldn't but I just did!

I felt bad...not horrible....cause I knew I'd have to get back on track ASAP. Which would basically be today.

There were just so many mixed emotions and stuff....we'd hoped to get married before he left but that never ended up happening. Since I am sure you can guess that I am an emotional eater due to the little bender I mentioned. I am really stressed out and depressed. I don't feel sad per say, but I don't really feel happy anymore either...I mean I don't even want to smile!!!

Anyway... I just wanted to get that off my chest.

mjfer123

Cheer up, your guy will be back in no time!
You still have the rest of your lives,
you don't want to rush the whole marriage anyway,
when he gets back you'll have time to plan it all out.

In the meantime, get an even more smokin body and welcome him home next time!

shorerider

One binger isn't bad! In fact, many people recommend that once a month or so you do have a "I don't care" type meal to keep your body guessing and shake it up a little.

Plus, with what you're going through with the deployment, you needed it!

Now, wipe your tears and climb back up on the wagon. We'll slow the wagon down for you so you can catch up easy!

Theresa35

I agree with mj. And don't beat yourself up over yesterday. I can't imagine how emotional it was for you. Today is a new day, be thankful for the time you spent together, and take this time to focus on you. Take care

ChubbyBunny

One binger isn't bad! In fact, many people recommend that once a month or so you do have a "I don't care" type meal to keep your body guessing and shake it up a little.

Plus, with what you're going through with the deployment, you needed it!

Now, wipe your tears and climb back up on the wagon. We'll slow the wagon down for you so you can catch up easy!

:laugh:

I haven't even givin in to crying yet.....got pretty close....I am trying to hold it all together for my daughter, parents, etc.....sometime I will.

Ezzie

I haven't even givin in to crying yet.....got pretty close....I am trying to hold it all together for my daughter, parents, etc.....sometime I will.
[/quote]

Hey, maybe if you give yourself permission to cry ( even just a tiny bit.. ) the eating won't have such a pull. Not that I'm a professional or anything, just that I've finally learned ( after how many years?) that crying on the right shoulder has an awesome power to relieve and heal. Instead of stuffing everything in a box so no one can see, and holding the box shut with food, use that box for the damp tissues!

Lot'sa folks here willing to lend a shoulder and some kleenex!! IMHO, letting your daughter see a few tears leak might let her know it's OK to be sad....then put the shoulders back, put a smile on and be the incredibly strong woman that you are.

Ezzie

ChubbyBunny

I just am blah these days....

I am sitting here, at work (school starts in a week and a few days....so there will be kiddies everywhere) and I am just so unmotivated. I don't want to work, I don't want to work out tonight when I get home, I don't want to eat (although I did get a Chai tea and a fiber one bar), and I just feel numb/empty...

Crap, it's not even been a full day yet! How is a year gonna go!?!

ChubbyBunny

I haven't even givin in to crying yet.....got pretty close....I am trying to hold it all together for my daughter, parents, etc.....sometime I will.

Hey, maybe if you give yourself permission to cry ( even just a tiny bit.. ) the eating won't have such a pull. Not that I'm a professional or anything, just that I've finally learned ( after how many years?) that crying on the right shoulder has an awesome power to relieve and heal. Instead of stuffing everything in a box so no one can see, and holding the box shut with food, use that box for the damp tissues!

Lot'sa folks here willing to lend a shoulder and some kleenex!! IMHO, letting your daughter see a few tears leak might let her know it's OK to be sad....then put the shoulders back, put a smile on and be the incredibly strong woman that you are.

Ezzie
[/quote]

I am not a huge fan of crying in public. I mean I was one of the only women there yesterday not crying...I felt bad that I couldn't but at the same time I knew it wouldn't help my fiance any....

My daughter has seen me cry a few times....it kinda upsets her. She didn't get to go say goodbye and he's been the only father figure she's had. I am afraid that me losing it would cause her to lose it (and she's under so much stress....she is starting kindergarten tomorrow and she's very shy...I've tried to reassure her....but I am worried about her).

My tears have always been a private matter.
I do appreciate MFP cause everyone is so helpful and supportive.....that's why I mentioned the issue I had yesterday in the first place.

iftcheiaf

I'm so sorry for the loss you're feeling. Even though it's temporary, it is still a loss - the physical contact, the emotional support, the distance. But you're a strong woman and can get through this. But realize strength doesn't mean not letting yourself "grieve" what you're missing for the moment. And hope is our biggest friend. None of us would be on this website without it.

Congrats on your little girl starting kindergarten. Big step for both mommy and little one. My kids are going into first and third, and I've shed a few private tears over losing them again for yet another year. But what a thing to be able to celebrate.

Take care of yourself. Time goes slowly when we're missing something, but you can keep busy by watching over your MFP family here and helping to keep us together.

BTW, never got a chance to say before, but LOVE the hairdo. Saucy!

frithir

"Crap, it's not even been a full day yet! How is a year gonna go!?!"

I can't speak for every military spouse but I can tell you from my own experience (and being an Army brat who married an Army brat who became a Navy lifer, experience in this area is something I've certainly had) how to get through it. First, give yourself permission to experience every emotion ~ the sadness, the anger, the fear, etc. then once you've done that, you wipe your eyes, get back up and take it one day at a time, knowing that your man is a hero in the truest sense of the word and he's surrounded by love and prayers. Yes, the first few days are NOT the best of times but it DOES get better. Take it from an old-been-there-done-that-and-survived-the-experience wife of a USN Ret. Navy Chief

ChubbyBunny

I'm so sorry for the loss you're feeling. Even though it's temporary, it is still a loss - the physical contact, the emotional support, the distance. But you're a strong woman and can get through this. But realize strength doesn't mean not letting yourself "grieve" what you're missing for the moment. And hope is our biggest friend. None of us would be on this website without it.

Congrats on your little girl starting kindergarten. Big step for both mommy and little one. My kids are going into first and third, and I've shed a few private tears over losing them again for yet another year. But what a thing to be able to celebrate.

Take care of yourself. Time goes slowly when we're missing something, but you can keep busy by watching over your MFP family here and helping to keep us together.

BTW, never got a chance to say before, but LOVE the hairdo. Saucy!

Thanks, the hair is growing out a bit.... I am not sure if I'll stick with it. At least I know I can pull it off though. My faince asked how long it would take to get long again (in my book chin length in long). :laugh:

I can't believe she's going to be in kindergarten either.....I feel so old! She's ready though, I just hope school doesn't kill her love of learning. Is that horrible to say, since I am a teacher too?

I think MFP and really focusing on my weight loss will keep my mind busy while he's away, at least that is what I am hoping for. That time will pass faster because I have something to be doing all the time.

I am sure I will grieve when I am ready...I think I may be in denial,

ChubbyBunny

I'm so sorry for the loss you're feeling. Even though it's temporary, it is still a loss - the physical contact, the emotional support, the distance. But you're a strong woman and can get through this. But realize strength doesn't mean not letting yourself "grieve" what you're missing for the moment. And hope is our biggest friend. None of us would be on this website without it.

Congrats on your little girl starting kindergarten. Big step for both mommy and little one. My kids are going into first and third, and I've shed a few private tears over losing them again for yet another year. But what a thing to be able to celebrate.

Take care of yourself. Time goes slowly when we're missing something, but you can keep busy by watching over your MFP family here and helping to keep us together.

BTW, never got a chance to say before, but LOVE the hairdo. Saucy!

Thanks, the hair is growing out a bit.... I am not sure if I'll stick with it. At least I know I can pull it off though. My faince asked how long it would take to get long again (in my book chin length in long). :laugh:

I can't believe she's going to be in kindergarten either.....I feel so old! She's ready though, I just hope school doesn't kill her love of learning. Is that horrible to say, since I am a teacher too?

I think MFP and really focusing on my weight loss will keep my mind busy while he's away, at least that is what I am hoping for. That time will pass faster because I have something to be doing all the time.

I am sure I will grieve when I am ready...I think I may be in denial,

ChubbyBunny

"Crap, it's not even been a full day yet! How is a year gonna go!?!"

I can't speak for every military spouse but I can tell you from my own experience (and being an Army brat who married an Army brat who became a Navy lifer, experience in this area is something I've certainly had) how to get through it. First, give yourself permission to experience every emotion ~ the sadness, the anger, the fear, etc. then once you've done that, you wipe your eyes, get back up and take it one day at a time, knowing that your man is a hero in the truest sense of the word and he's surrounded by love and prayers. Yes, the first few days are NOT the best of times but it DOES get better. Take it from an old-been-there-done-that-and-survived-the-experience wife of a USN Ret. Navy Chief

What if something happens? You've been-there-done-that.....does that fear ever go away or do you get used to it?

carlotta

i remember all too well, even though it has been awhile, the emotions that you go thru as you watch the one you love leave on deployment. since we were both serving, it was him that left, while i stayed behind being the single mother and a Marine. It never got any easier but i learned certain tricks. i found that if i thought of tomorrow i would be filled with dispair and doubt but when i just took whatever task i was doing at the time and just....thought of that only, i could make it thru the days until it no longer hurt so much to think of tomorrow. everyone is different and deals with pain differently.
you sound like you have a very good head on your sholders. and it seems like your support network is strong too. take it one minute at a time, then one day at a time and before you know it.....the year will be up. in the meantime.....take care of you and your daughter. the rest will fall into place.

ChubbyBunny

i remember all too well, even though it has been awhile, the emotions that you go thru as you watch the one you love leave on deployment. since we were both serving, it was him that left, while i stayed behind being the single mother and a Marine. It never got any easier but i learned certain tricks. i found that if i thought of tomorrow i would be filled with dispair and doubt but when i just took whatever task i was doing at the time and just....thought of that only, i could make it thru the days until it no longer hurt so much to think of tomorrow. everyone is different and deals with pain differently.
you sound like you have a very good head on your sholders. and it seems like your support network is strong too. take it one minute at a time, then one day at a time and before you know it.....the year will be up. in the meantime.....take care of you and your daughter. the rest will fall into place.

I am so stuck in the "What if..." mentality...I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about.
I am trying to zone in on just this moment....it's been so long since I had to do that (since my divorce and I zoned into college). I will try harder.

connieq288

After the birth of my first son who is now 10 my hubby went overseas for 18 mths. My son was only 2 mths old when he left. I know exactly how you feel. Just make sure that you open yourself up to the ones that love you. I moved back home to be with my family when my hubby left and I really think that saved me.

Connie


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ChubbyBunny

After the birth of my first son who is now 10 my hubby went overseas for 18 mths. My son was only 2 mths old when he left. I know exactly how you feel. Just make sure that you open yourself up to the ones that love you. I moved back home to be with my family when my hubby left and I really think that saved me.

Connie


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

I am back home too.
Teaching....which doesn't excite me.....but I need to be doing something.

firegirlred

First, let me thank you for sharing your loved one. Because of him and others like him, we have the freedoms we do today. So thank you, to both you and him.

I wish I could message something insightful and instantly uplifting. I know your heart must be heavy, and if I were in your area, I would do whatever I could to cheer you up. Time will pass quickly, and before you know it, your fiance will be home to stay.

Be strong, but cry if you need to. And don't forget, we're here if you need us.

Rae

ChubbyBunny

First, let me thank you for sharing your loved one. Because of him and others like him, we have the freedoms we do today. So thank you, to both you and him.

I wish I could message something insightful and instantly uplifting. I know your heart must be heavy, and if I were in your area, I would do whatever I could to cheer you up. Time will pass quickly, and before you know it, your fiance will be home to stay.

Be strong, but cry if you need to. And don't forget, we're here if you need us.

Rae

Thanks, I appreciate the support.

laine23

u're love story is so sad!
stay strong though!
get hotter when he's not there but don't tell him. he'll have a suprise and u'll have a great motivation!

ChubbyBunny

u're love story is so sad!
stay strong though!
get hotter when he's not there but don't tell him. he'll have a suprise and u'll have a great motivation!

Thank you, that is very kind of you.
I will work hard...I just need to get re-motivated

laine23

Thank you, that is very kind of you.
I will work hard...I just need to get re-motivated

as u told me before... that's why we're here!!

ChubbyBunny

HAHA! :laugh:

Got me on that one.

ChubbyBunny

Also, my little baby girl starts kindergarten tomorrow and my dad (since I am living at home and I had to start work at school yesterday) is going to make her ride the bus the very first day of school! I am practically hysterical! :sick:

jlwhelan1

Also, my little baby girl starts kindergarten tomorrow and my dad (since I am living at home and I had to start work at school yesterday) is going to make her ride the bus the very first day of school! I am practically hysterical! :sick:

Deep breaths. In............... Out............. In............. Out............
It will be ok. (keep breathing.)

You can call the school office first thing in the morning and make sure she arrives okay and is shown where to go.

b.r.e.a.t.h.

((Hugs from one mom to another.))

Please let us know how her first day goes.

TNTPete

Okay so a few things on this one.. you pulled at my heart strings...

I am the deployed one and I will let you in on a secret -- those fears are the same on this side - just different - what if the car breaks down, what if the baby gets sick , what if she breaks her arm (oh that happened:grumble: ) all of those thoughts are on our minds as well.. OK so if that doesn't help here's a different approach --

I am always separated from my kiddos and NO the pain doesn't go away, it just dulls and you find ways around it.. write LOTs, email, letters, care packages keep it going through out - it will help you and help him... I do this with my kids all the time. (and when deployed with my hubby hubby)

And I want to say -- crying is not a weakness it is a human response to stress.. your daughter might get freaked out but what is wrong with her learning that crying is a response that is healthier than stuffing your emotions in a private place for special moments. CRY if you feel like it - life sucks sometimes.

Shoot- my oldest had a really hard time so you know what we did -- we wrote our feelings out on paper, shredded the paper, got to say "man this really sucks" and then cried together. She smiled afterward and said thanks mom, I needed that.

You can get through this - the first week - 10 days are the worst then you get into a routine. OH and to sleep better(can imagine you're either sleeping a lot or not at all??) exercise it will also destress you -- even if you don't feel like it.. walk your happy butt on the treadmill and think of nothing but the padding of your shoes (or whatever you do for exercise).

WOW - I had a lot to say - sorry.:embarassed:

ChubbyBunny

Thank you so much you guys....

TNTPete - I just don't want my fears and worries to filter over to him, because I don't want to add to his pressure and stress already. Is that ok, or do you think he'd want to know some of that so he at least knows what is worrying me? It wasn't long at all, it was just right and made me feel a little better.

Jl- I'll let you know how it goes tonight....I am still so nervous.....

You guys are so wonderful.
My heart just feels sad....which it shouldn't, I have so much going for me......
I don't want my daughter to feel neglected (cause my dad who is always on my case cause I don't "do" family time....aka watch TV....yeah he and I are my worst critics) I don't think things have changed much....I don't smile as much as I used to....but I always have smiles for her (well....when there isn't that constant whinning sound....any of you guys ever get that?)

I am already thinking of a box to go out early Sept cause he'll only be in training til either sept or oct but doesn't know exactly when he goes overseas.

Any pointers on things for packages would be awesome.
Lucky for me.....he doesn't LOVE chocolate.

TNTPete

I have to be honest-- when my hubby spills his guts a little I kinda feel like, yeah - we are in this together and yes, it does suck. Now too much could be bad as adding stress wouldn't be good. But what my hubby and I did (not right away) was write to each other about our anxieties, our worries, our expectations etc. what we're going through. And it's nice to be missed

For example, when I left last time all I could do was think it sucked for me, I forgot that he was left behind answering to all the folks where I was, seeing my clothes, smelling my soaps. You know the little things that catch you off guard. I didn't think of that. I just thought, man 120F sucks!! and I don't want to be here anymore!! haha.

And neither of you have it "easier" it's just different. People who make it through these things find their relationships so much stronger, tested, but stronger. So I would lean on that thought.

I think it is normal to have a sad heart -- give yourself time to heal girlie.. Then focus on - -man I am going to be HOT when he gets home -- if fact my hubby and I have a who's going to be HOTTER thing going on that we joke about. Of course, I'll win -

Keep talking, keep faith, and keep your chin up -- time will pass. In the mean time here is an article I think will help
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/life_longdistance.shtml

Boxes here ya go (based on personal preferences):
BROWNIES (okay chocolate but I love 'em - substitute favorite HOME made sweet if he has one)
Protein bars
Odd games if he likes that sort of thing.. we got a magic eight ball in from someone
Magazines
Trail mix
Drink mixers (crystal light, Replenish)
A letter with your lips imprinted (so corny but I sent one to my hubby and he loved it)
Pringles
Pretzles
Micro popcorn (depends on location)
Snack things
Even if he doesn't like them his buds might and he'll know they were from you. My husband sent me 8 bags of jerky.. what am I going to do with that, but the guy at work enjoyed it!!( and I liked the thought)
Just a few thoughts.... :happy:

ChubbyBunny

:laugh:
Okay, I will try to figure out what he likes most for boxes....he is a licorice nut.

Alright, I will try to share a little....I just don't want to be more of a burden.
I mean, I am pretty reserved (I am an internalizer) so it's tough to "let it out"
I have been known not to share my thoughts/concerns recently simply cause I know it would add one more thing to plague his mind....

I will have to work on that....

ChubbyBunny

Update: Kiddo loved school....what can I say its the first day....