Friend's list: keep 'em or cut 'em?

TeresaSavage

I know what I am looking for in a friend. This journey is about surrounding ourselves with the people that we need. The plus side is that I am also able to cheer on others as well. I will be honest. If you do not fit my criteria of what I am looking for (ie: talkative and supportive) then I have to let you go so that maybe I can find that one more person who gives me exactly what I need.

Also I keep my friends list short and sweet. At or below 40. BECAUSE if I have more than that, then I can't keep up with everyone and be as supportive as I'd like to be.

I treat others the way I want to be treated. If you are the right fit for me then so be it.

PERFECTLY SAID!! I agree with this. I couldn't have said it better :bigsmile:

jennmoore3

I just delete them if they don't comunicate. I go through the bother of encouraging ALL my friends every day!! So I don't really understand why some people have friends if they're not going to encourage back! Kind of selfish I think.

Well said. If I am on the site, I try to say something to everyone who has a post on my wall. Even if it is just a "WTG!" I need people to help me, so I feel the need to post to them.

Just my thoughts.

Jenn

Sasha_Bear

I say don't do it. Is it hurting you or hindering your weight loss or communications with others on MFP? Then keep them as friends if you feel badly about cutting them. What's the harm? :flowerforyou:

the only harm is that seeing their information in my newsfeed is pushing down other people who do communicate with me and who I want to reciprocrate. but I can't go through pages and pages of newsfeeds and determine who needs my attention and who doesn't. I can't make mfp my full time job replying to everyone. especially those who I reply to and they never say 2 words to me.

This is exactly why I delete people, I give them two weeks tops! After two weeks if I'm constantly reaching out to you and you having bothered to reciprocate then I have no problem deleting. I also like to keep my list small I'm here to offer support and receive some, and there not enough hours in a day to support 100's of friends.

mielikkibz

Also I keep my friends list short and sweet. At or below 40. BECAUSE if I have more than that, then I can't keep up with everyone and be as supportive as I'd like to be.

this is part of my issue, I don't have a lot of friends, but myn ewsfeed is filled with stuff so hard to keep up with :P

SKismet

The other issue is that I'm starting to spend more time in my real life and less time on mfp so the time I do spend on here, I want it to be quality time and not have to pick and choose who I talk to. I like to personalize my comments and not just a generic "WTG" for every situation. I want it to come of as sincere.

I can really relate to this part.... I want to have friends I can really get to know and give specific feedback, which honestly might sometimes include some constructive criticism. The problem is, I see SO LITTLE of that on here, to me or anyone else, that at times I don't feel comfortable leaving what I'd like too and then end up leaving either just a "WTG" or nothing at all.

I will post a newsfeed for a few days, at different times of the day telling people that I do want to only have 3 to 4 pages of friends and there should be no hard feelings if you are not one of them.

There are so many mixed reviews on here, there is no right or wrong answer, but I agree with RoadDog, I have to do what's best for me.

I think this sounds like a great idea!

nam14uk

Lee ultimately it's a decision for you. Do what you feel is right for your situation.

I know for me it is impossible for me to comment on each update for my friends everyday. This is not because I don't want to but simply because I don't have enough time with working, exercising and life generally. I comment as much as I can and those that I don't comment on, on a particular day I hope understand. If as a result of that they cut me then so be it.

The only time I cut people is if they haven't logged on for months. Other than that I tend to leave people on because it does no harm to me for their posts to be on my newsfeed. Often because of the time difference, by the time I log back on again, it is usually after the event and so no point in me commenting, for example if someone posts asking what they should have for lunch but it's hours later when I see it.

We are all on here for our own journey and if you cut someone for your own reasons I would like to think they would understand.

kacc24

It cost you nothing to have more friends than communicate back and forth with you. You have your favorites and the ones you keep up with, but what is the harm in being there for everyone on your friend list. As long as they don't give up on me, then I won't give up on them. Sometimes I think we have a sort of 'God" complex when it comes to certain things and hey this ain't facebook...it's site for support.

MaureenH39

Leela...I totally understand about commenting to people that NEVER comment back...it is kind of discouraging I do not reply to everybody every day...but I do my best to communicate with people regularly.

jackpotclown

I tend to work on the month standard as well....vacations are one thing, but I look at it like in that kind of timeframe those people are giving up. I would expect that if I was gone that long, that my friends would have considered dropping me too. I wouldn't be offended if they did. The others I look at removing are those who starve themselves. I can't condone or encourage anyone who has their calorie limits set less than 1200 and refuses to eat exercise calories, coming in at ridiculously low nets, and then griping about why they aren't losing weight. I've had to remove a few like that. Some people just don't get it, and I feel as though it's not on me to change their beliefs.

katberz

I don't delete anyone..... unless they are rude or obnoxious or something like that..... I must admit that I'm a bit of a voyeur on this site and don't comment as much as others, but then I'm not online all day either....

This.

ltlhmom

I delete after someone has been gone for 30 days. Sometimes I leave them a post saying if you come back please friend me back.

TeamLeela

I decided that I was no longer accepting any new friend requests. I know I may be missing out on great new friends, but I have to support the ones I already have. I even put the disclaimer on my profile.

Cortx

Sorry to everyone who doesnt agree, but the ppl who do not talk to me or i seem to not like or have anything in common with i flat out delete them. They probably dont even notice anyway.