The biggest enemy to weight loss: Judgement free zones

deathtaco

To start, I am going to say right off the bat I am a fit individual. I understand this, and I realize many people here may not want to hear a word I have to say because anything I say does not apply to their situation. I'm here to give you the perspective of the "gym rat", "THAT guy who grunts when he lifts", or "the *kitten* at the ________". Granted, I'm not really an *kitten*...but I bet you're thinking that.

I counter this with this argument:

When I was younger, I was shorter and weighed more than I do now (~180). I was a fat kid. I was fat in elementary school, middle school and in high school. So even after my growth spurt, I was still heavy. I had almost no muscle mass, and was "skinny fat" so sure, I looked fairly normal but when I took my shirt off (which I never did) I was nothing more than soft skin and bone.

Fast forward now, I am 170-178 depending on the time of day (food, creatine water retention, workout, etc) and sitting around 11-13% BF (Probably 12 now). How did I get there? Did I drink juice all day? Did I do a high intensity cardio workout? Did I take pills? No.

I took a massive hit to me ego (trust me, it's quite large) and went into the gym. I was the weakest one there (talk about BB benching about 45lbs here guys). I worked out fairly hard but still didn't watch what I ate. Come college, I was a little more lean, but still had fat around everywhere and still didn't take my shirt off (pride).

Well, this is when I turned to the greatest resource we have available, the internet. I searched high and wide and found out what I needed to do. I needed to lift weights, watch my diet and put my pride and ego on the back burner. I went to the local Gold's Gym and started a basic strength routine consisting of 4 lifts: Squat, Deadlift, BB Bench, Overhead Press. That's it.

I couldn't do any lifts as much as some guys there. There were people there who looked like Arnold (to me at least), and were squatting over 500lbs, benching the same and massive muscles everywhere. I thought, "They must think I'm weak, a wuss and worthless." Surely this was a "Judgement Zone."

BUT THAT WASN"T THE CASE. They helped me. They coached me, pushed me and treated me with respect, because I wanted to better myself, learn and get stronger.

It was then I realized the true problem with my weight loss: ME. I was the biggest hinderence to losing weight.

THE PERSON WHO MAKES YOU FEEL THE MOST CONFIDENT IS YOURSELF

You go to the beach, you see a dude who's ripped and tanned or a girl who's so sexy and toned the sand turns to glass where she walks. You feel horrible, because you aren't them. You decide to go to the gym the next day. Who do you see at the gym? Those same people you saw on the beach! You feel horrible again because they're sweating, lifting massive weights and her butt looks SO damn good in those hot little spandex shorts that barely cover her -...er, ahem...sorry

Point being? They haven't said a word to you, but they make you feel horrible about yourself. Right? WRONG! You put those thoughts in your head.

Now, of course some people will be *kitten*. Screw them.

If you go to a gym, put TRUE effort in. Don't waste time, don't piddle around and look like you have a mission, a goal, a killer instinct in your eye and you are doing everything with 100% intensity - do you know what those people at the gym are going to say? "HELL YEAH! GET SOME!"

JUDGEMENT FREE ZONES = CHALLENGE FREE ZONES

I tagged along with a friend to Planet Fitness to help him get started lifting. I gave him a routine, nutrition guidelines and helped him the first couple of days (almost) of lifting to get him started. Well, first day we go I push him. He's lifting relatively hard and heavy for his capability, but I kept saying, "PUSH! PUSH! KEEP YOUR FORM! DON'T CHEAT YOURSELF LET'S GO"

I got kicked out of Planet Fitness. Why? Because I "judged" him and apparently others around me felt bad. I didn't say a single word to anyone but my friend. Wasn't yelling. And was very polite to others in the area (wiped my equipment off, re-racked weights in the correct area, etc). But I was kicked out, because people felt bad that I was pushing my friend, making him lift heavy weights (and he grunted a bit!!!!!!!!) and made him stay 100% effort.

If you don't grunt even a little, you're not trying hard enough.

IF YOU GET ONE THING FROM THIS POST

Everyone who goes to the gym feels self conscious. Everyone is there for a reason. No matter your age, weight, w/e...if you give 100% effort at the gym, respect the gym rules and etiquette, and don't waste time, people will treat you respectfully.

On the flip side, if you go their, no matter your age/weight/gender, w/e and sit on a machine for 20 minutes laughing, talking or on your cell phone. Don't wipe stuff down, take up weights and give minimal effort while wandering around aimlessly, then of course you will be judged: be judged as inconsiderate that is.



Weight loss is slow. It's tedious and requires effort. Sure, not everyone can squat. Your knees may not be able to handle it or your current weight may not allow for those mechanics to work. Previous injuries may prevent you from deadlifting or benching, or what have you. But effort is dependent on you. Discipline is a means to consistent effort. And those both come from you.

So when you look at others, feel bad about yourself, or think you can't do it....look YOURSELF in the mirror, say, "Hey *kitten*, stop it!"

The best tool in weight loss is patience and time.

deathtaco

Here are links to websites that may be helpful. Again, don't dissmiss ANYTHING on these site as "not applicable!" You won't get "body builder huge" without lifting MASS weights, MULTIPLE times a week for many years, all while eating roughly 4-5k+ calories a day. Weight loss is weight loss no matter than weight, and muscle building is muscle building no matter how small or large the gains.

www.bodybuilding.com - great site. forums are good. exercise lists are great. the store is cheap and great service.
www.simplyshredded.com - great site again
www.leangains.com - good reads and interesting theory
www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html - great exercise directory
www.alanaragon.com/ - nutrtional guru

ColoradoRobin

Many people at the gym are so busy looking at themselves in the mirror that they'll never even notice what you look like.
So don't worry about it, get in there, and do it!

Great post, thanks. I can't believe you got thrown out of a gym for coaching a friend to keep pushing. lol.

jeepzilla

I knew there was a reason I need you as a friend.... great post.. I don't work out in a gym but great post none the less..

CanuckLove

Excellent post!!!!!!!!!

lovetowrite73

This is a great post. Thanks!!

mamagooskie

Thanks for this post.....this might just be what I need to stay on track today!

Shannon023

Great post!!!! Thanks for taking the time to write it. :flowerforyou:

Mayor_West

Hell yes!

It's incredibly true how most people at the gym who have been at it a while (myself included) are more than happy to help newbies out. The fact is, we're all a hell of a lot more similar than we are different, and I don't care how long you've been at it- if you have the balls to walk through the doors of the gym and put in the effort to better yourself, then you have my respect. Period.

Still_Sossy

This is a great post, thank you and thanks for the links!

tabi26

Bump

Boo_08

Great post. I reciently heard similar from a friend of mine who dropped 100+ pounds and is now body building. It gave me a whole new outlook on the gym and I have loved going ever since. It was the mind frame change I needed.

Jazzysoul

Great post - - nicely written!

carro585

Thanks for this. I've always tried to push my limits on the treadmill and in classes but continue to be terrified of the half of the gym with all the weights (after all, I'm just a weak girl who probably looks like an asshat on those machines, right?). It's time to get over that.

cmriverside

Very well written and motivational! Thanks!

tashjs21

Many people at the gym are so busy looking at themselves in the mirror that they'll never even notice what you look like.

That is exactly what I was thinking! :laugh:


Thank you OP! This is a great post! I always respect the people no matter what size that are in there breaking a sweat and giving it their all. I don't respect the skinny little young things that walk in...stand around with their friends chatting...stand by the treadmill or elliptical...chatting (but holding on so that no one else can use the machine) get on for 5 minutes and then get off to get some water...get back on for 5 more minutes. :explode: Sorry, getting off topic.

Thanks for the reminder, we are the only ones who can make ourselves feel bad. :flowerforyou:

Shizzman

I dig what you're saying! Way to explain it!

ceebs9

One of the best posts I've read on MFP.

deathtaco

Many people at the gym are so busy looking at themselves in the mirror that they'll never even notice what you look like.

This. I'm either checking my form in the mirror, spaced out after a set, or death gripping the squat rack as I'm fighting blacking out from forgetting to breath during a heavy set :sick:

...except those girls in said spandex shorts/pants who come and do glute work right in front of my squat rack. I don't know what to pay attention to at that point...the weight on the bar...or...*cough*, ugh...I mean...:drinker:

Delicate

Great post

Thats what originally put me off going to a gym in the first place 'they will look at me, and laugh' but they didnt, they are extremely helpful, and happy

must be the endorphines

I've since been going for years, and you can always tell who the newbies are in classes, smile at them, sometimes they come over for help, or they just needed reassurance.

We all started somewhere.

Lunarokra

Awesome, thanks for sharing.

I have a friend who gets really intimidated when I have invited her to Zumba, as you put it "the judgement zone" I always tell her. Learn to ignore it and have fun dancing.