Standing up for myself

deadlift

To be honest, i think her response of telling you family do stuff for free is just plain rude after you telling her she is getting it half price, she not only wants you to work your *kitten* off making her all this stuff for nothing, but she wants you to pay the materials to do it too?!!? Please do not put up with that. I agree with a few other people on here, suggesting getting your fiance to have a word with her, failing that, you simply tell her, that you have your first job, and this as your second job, you are giving her the labour for free, but your costs need to be met and you cannot afford to give your time and money away for free as you have more important things to do in your life!

Is it possible she was joking? when she said you would do it for free? anyway, if i was in your shoes i would bring up the subject again, and mention the price list, if she says she wants if free again i would say "well, i have agreed to do the labour for free, i'm simply asking the cost of the materials".

If this fails ask her to give you her car, because family give stuff away for free. (ok i'm joking.......but i probably would do it

cbratthauer

Thank you everybody! It makes me feel so much better to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I love to do things for people, and if I could afford it I'd do so much more. But if I want to be successful then I just can't do these things for free anymore. As far as my fiance, he knows how his sister is. He thought she should have paid for the first two birthday cakes. But I also don't want to drag him in the middle of it if I don't have to, and I really want to avoid conflict. I hope she will just understand that this is how it has to be done.

mommared53

You might consider having your fiance talk with his sister (assuming he supports you on this issue), but if he doesn't want to get involved, I'd explain to her that you take your baking seriously as a business now, and that if you were to put in all the time and effort (and money) to bake everything for family members at no cost, then it would seriously hurt your new business. Explain that you did it for free in the past, but that you just can't afford to keep doing so.

She might just have to find someone else to make her baked goods if she doesn't like it - your request seems perfectly reasonable to me; you're under no obligation to bake everything your family wants for free just because they're family.

What he said.

cbratthauer

To be honest, i think her response of telling you family do stuff for free is just plain rude after you telling her she is getting it half price, she not only wants you to work your *kitten* off making her all this stuff for nothing, but she wants you to pay the materials to do it too?!!? Please do not put up with that. I agree with a few other people on here, suggesting getting your fiance to have a word with her, failing that, you simply tell her, that you have your first job, and this as your second job, you are giving her the labour for free, but your costs need to be met and you cannot afford to give your time and money away for free as you have more important things to do in your life!

Is it possible she was joking? when she said you would do it for free? anyway, if i was in your shoes i would bring up the subject again, and mention the price list, if she says she wants if free again i would say "well, i have agreed to do the labour for free, i'm simply asking the cost of the materials".

If this fails ask her to give you her car, because family give stuff away for free. (ok i'm joking.......but i probably would do it

No she wasn't joking. It sounds like she's been this way all of her life though. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but I definitely do not agree with 99% of the things she does. Her parents watch her girls EVERY day for her while she works, sleeps, and goes out. She went out the night before her daughter's 5th birthday party, which was at her parent's house, then showed up an hour late. Nobody could get ahold of her because her phone was off and she wasn't home, so who knows if she was in the hospital!!! She gave my fiance a check for something he picked up for her, and when he cashed it, surprise surprise it bounced. He had a phone line with her, it was in her name, and she didn't pay it. His phone got shut off and after going back and forth with her for a month he paid the charge to get off the plan early and went on my plan. She just isn't reliable and always expects things for free.

picturesing

You might consider having your fiance talk with his sister (assuming he supports you on this issue), but if he doesn't want to get involved, I'd explain to her that you take your baking seriously as a business now, and that if you were to put in all the time and effort (and money) to bake everything for family members at no cost, then it would seriously hurt your new business. Explain that you did it for free in the past, but that you just can't afford to keep doing so.

She might just have to find someone else to make her baked goods if she doesn't like it - your request seems perfectly reasonable to me; you're under no obligation to bake everything your family wants for free just because they're family.

What he said.

Sorry - I do not agree!!!! Unless he is her business partner!!!!
This is her business and she should stand up for her way of doing things (and I think she will)!
I would never drag my partner into something unless there was NO way for me to handle it! Just Saying!

RoadDog

When I opened my first TKD studio, my instructor, Master Moon Kyu Im, advised me that to be successful and gain respect, not to give anyone a discount. He told me that when he started out, he charged his own family for lessons.

He said , if they are not willing to pay for their lessons, they were not serious about them.

I think he was right. I would also consider it a lack of support that your family would not want to pay you for a service or a product that they are willing to pay someone else for.

If nothing else, they are lacking in manners.

dimoul

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Burns

"Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phoney-baloney church. Or synagogue." - Mr. Burns

mommared53

You might consider having your fiance talk with his sister (assuming he supports you on this issue), but if he doesn't want to get involved, I'd explain to her that you take your baking seriously as a business now, and that if you were to put in all the time and effort (and money) to bake everything for family members at no cost, then it would seriously hurt your new business. Explain that you did it for free in the past, but that you just can't afford to keep doing so.

She might just have to find someone else to make her baked goods if she doesn't like it - your request seems perfectly reasonable to me; you're under no obligation to bake everything your family wants for free just because they're family.

What he said.

Sorry - I do not agree!!!! Unless he is her business partner!!!!
This is her business and she should stand up for her way of doing things (and I think she will)!
I would never drag my partner into something unless there was NO way for me to handle it! Just Saying!

You're right. I re-read after I had posted and considered taking the first part of the first sentence out but I had already posted so I let it stay. But the rest of the quote I do agree with.

savvystephy

To be honest, i think her response of telling you family do stuff for free is just plain rude after you telling her she is getting it half price, she not only wants you to work your *kitten* off making her all this stuff for nothing, but she wants you to pay the materials to do it too?!!? Please do not put up with that. I agree with a few other people on here, suggesting getting your fiance to have a word with her, failing that, you simply tell her, that you have your first job, and this as your second job, you are giving her the labour for free, but your costs need to be met and you cannot afford to give your time and money away for free as you have more important things to do in your life!

Is it possible she was joking? when she said you would do it for free? anyway, if i was in your shoes i would bring up the subject again, and mention the price list, if she says she wants if free again i would say "well, i have agreed to do the labour for free, i'm simply asking the cost of the materials".

If this fails ask her to give you her car, because family give stuff away for free. (ok i'm joking.......but i probably would do it

No she wasn't joking. It sounds like she's been this way all of her life though. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but I definitely do not agree with 99% of the things she does. Her parents watch her girls EVERY day for her while she works, sleeps, and goes out. She went out the night before her daughter's 5th birthday party, which was at her parent's house, then showed up an hour late. Nobody could get ahold of her because her phone was off and she wasn't home, so who knows if she was in the hospital!!! She gave my fiance a check for something he picked up for her, and when he cashed it, surprise surprise it bounced. He had a phone line with her, it was in her name, and she didn't pay it. His phone got shut off and after going back and forth with her for a month he paid the charge to get off the plan early and went on my plan. She just isn't reliable and always expects things for free.

Sounds like you just need to teach her a lesson and tell her she won't get it unless she buys all the ingredients or pays 50% of your price. She sounds like a spoiled brat who is disrespectful, yet somehow still gets everything she wants. Someone needs to tell her that's not right!

Nanconet

She should be supporting you and your business because thats what family should do, I wouldn't compromise with her...if the cost for ingredients is less then 50% she should still pay the 50% just for trying to take advantage of you. If the cost of ingredients is more....she should pay more bottom line.

She is clearly not very nice. Tell her you are busy with orders coming in and unfortunately you can't put your paying clients on hold, as they are the helping your business go, and things are all about word of mouth these days. And you want to build a name for yourself.

And if she rebuttals and says "well family should come first". You tell her that she is not your only family member who has placed orders, and the other family members are in fact paying the 50% to help your business grow, because food prices aren't cheap these days. That was the only way to be fair to ALL family members without draining your business income and not take away from other customers.

If she has a smart butt comment for that....politely let her know that the 50% was an agreement you and your fiance made for family when you decided to start a business. And that it was the only way to be fair to the WHOLE family on your side and his. And if she doesn't like it...she could ask her brother to take the time to bake for her after she provides the ingredients as you are very busy.

You just have to make sure your fiance is on board with being firm....because men tend to keel over for their sisters. I have two big brothers....but I would and have never tried to take advantage of them or their girlfriends or even friends for that matter.

Keep us updated on what happens Good luck

antijen

After reading this I've changed my mind. Tell her to buy the ingredients and that you'll teach her to bake her own things!

TourThePast

I really wouldn't let her attitude bother you for a moment, she is hardly going to put a gun to your head until you bake lots of free cakes for her!

Say no, mean it, and then don't give it a second thought.

You have already been generous by baking for her, by demanding more, she is overstepping her boundaries. Freebies should be a nice surprise, not an obligation.

Gerkenstein

tell her to look into bakery prices and she will see she's getting a great deal. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself because it seems she is taking advantage of your good nature.

I have difficulty telling people no and standing up for myself too. I would even have a list of local bakery prices and give it to her. Seems like a great idea. Family or not, *kitten* ain't free! :laugh:

therobinator

Tell her that because of all your other (full-paying) orders, you don't have time to do her orders without being compensated in some fashion. I like the other posters idea of asking her to go out and buy the ingredients (so you don't have to front the money) and then tell her you are doing the baking part for her for "free."

magichatter06

Tell her that because of all your other (full-paying) orders, you don't have time to do her orders without being compensated in some fashion. I like the other posters idea of asking her to go out and buy the ingredients (so you don't have to front the money) and then tell her you are doing the baking part for her for "free."

Agree!:flowerforyou:


Or you could tell her to go pay full retail at some other bakery if she doesn't like your half off deal!

dlaplume2

I would tell her that although you have made them in the past, you are starting up a buisness. Your accountant told you, that you need to keep track of all inventory and you need her to at least cover the cost of the ingredients. If she balks at that, just tell her you are too busy with paying customers.

thumper44

She is taking advantage of you.
Asking for all these baked good and not wanting to give you money "family does it for free" is her excuse to try and get things for free.
Stand up for yourself, tell her again you could do it for 50%, and if not, tell her you have paying orders that you need to work on.

Then give her a copy of the recipe, and tell her good luck.

kimberly428

I agree with this! But make sure you tell her this is the only time you will do this and next time it will be full price. How rude of her!

If you want to do her the favor, give her the grocery list to buy all the ingredients for you. That way at least you're not out of that money - but still that is a lot of time you will be out of. I'd still charge her.

Nailrep

I would probably tell her if she misunderstood the whole business thing, that it is okay this time. Next time would be full price though.

Voncreepy2

:grumble: She sounds spoiled......what's next......keeping her kids......mowing her lawn................yadddayadddayaddda!? I have a relative like this too. Very hard type of person to deal with. If she is so forward and direct, she shouldn't mind if you are. I would tell her you it is a business now and you can't make anything giving away time and money like that. You will be setting yourself back. Also, now that she thinks she has found a free bakery you will be the first one she calls for a free cake. I would stick to the 50% discount and if she goes elsewhere, then it's her loss. if you don't stand up to her nicely now, she will be the type to walk on you whenver she wants something and make family relations miserable later. You will resent her and she will be reaping all of the benefits. Good luck. I hate issues like this they are sooooo unecessary and tiresome. It should go without saying!!!!