Calling all Americans!

MyNameIsNotBob

What I don't understand, is why on earth parents don't pack a lunch for their kids. Isn't it expensive to eat in the cafeteria every single day? Why do so many rely on the school to provide nutrition to their children? I feel it is my job to feed my kids. Maybe I'm a minority though.

Love your attitude! You're a good Momma in that you care enough about your children to take time out to pack them a lunch and provide them good nutrition. It's teaching them so much, it's something they'll always know now! !

And people with limited means don't love or care for their children? Please.

sunshine79

Whilst I agree with your point about schools being there to help children I think that primarily it is the responsibility of parents to educate their children on healthy food choices, lead by example by providing healthy balanced food options at home. Far too much responsibility is placed on school to be 'all things' to children and families.

I am not for one minute suggesting that healthy eating is schools is not important - It is BUT first and foremost parents must do their part.

Regardless of the food available if children aren't taught at home how to choose wisely they will always face the same issue around healthy eating.

ItsCasey

What I don't understand, is why on earth parents don't pack a lunch for their kids. Isn't it expensive to eat in the cafeteria every single day? Why do so many rely on the school to provide nutrition to their children? I feel it is my job to feed my kids. Maybe I'm a minority though.

Because they're struggling to make ends meet. Many families don't have homes or refrigerators, or jobs... the children are receiving *free* meals at school. You are lucky to be able to provide well for your family. Others are struggling in different ways. It's not helpful to judge them based upon your own priorities.

No, she's not "lucky" to be able to provide for her family. She works hard to be able to provide for her family. And it IS helpful to look at someone's priorities when that person's priorities are in the right order, starting with her children. I wonder how many parents who claim they can't afford to make their kids a lunch every day can somehow magically find enough money to pay a cell phone bill every month.

The problem in America is that no one believes in personal responsibility. You breed them, you feed them.

betterthanmama

What I don't understand, is why on earth parents don't pack a lunch for their kids. Isn't it expensive to eat in the cafeteria every single day? Why do so many rely on the school to provide nutrition to their children? I feel it is my job to feed my kids. Maybe I'm a minority though.

When I went to high school they had wonderful selection of fruits, veggies and freshly prepared meals. You could also get fries on the side for an extra $0.25 or something. So as a high schooler I would buy the healthy tasty lunch and then get the cheap fries on the side to munch on with 4-6 friends. My mother worked at the school and knew exactly what was being served every day, knew that I would make the healthy choice. But it was my own decision to buy the fries. I know some people didn't like what the parents packed for lunch and just went around the table eating other people's food or a friend spotting them the cash to buy some soda, chips or fries. Just because a parent packs a lunch doesn't mean that the kid is going to eat it and just because you eat in the cafeteria doesn't mean it's bad for you.

I agree that it is important as a parent to be and do the best you can for your children, but sometimes it's not possible to achieve this.

Sezmo83

Is it in anyone's best interest to have children when they can truly not afford to provide for them?

Just posing that as an honest question, not throwing flames.

Circumstances change. Some people will have children when they can afford to provide for them but then something happens and they need a little help in providing for themselves and their family. Death, illness, disasters, loss of a job etc aren't something you can really plan for.

Barneystinson

Is it in anyone's best interest to have children when they can truly not afford to provide for them?

Just posing that as an honest question, not throwing flames.

Circumstances change. Some people will have children when they can afford to provide for them but then something happens and they need a little help in providing for themselves and their family. Death, illness, disasters, loss of a job etc aren't something you can really plan for.

Well, that's understandable, but should have reworded my question: Should one decide to conceive when they do not have the means to provide proper care for their child?

Sezmo83

Well, that's understandable, but should have reworded my question: Should one decide to conceive when they do not have the means to provide proper care for their child?

Completely different question there It's a difficult one to answer. Me and my hubby have delayed starting a family until our financial situation is better. As I've said to him though, if I get pregnant despite taking precautions then I will not get rid of the baby in any way. However, we're not in a position where we literally couldn't afford to buy food, clothes etc, just in a position where we'd have to be extremely careful what we bought and would have to cut out luxuries. And our financial situation WILL get better, the same can't be said for everyones though.

And you've got to ask what "proper" care is. I would imagine that means different things to different people.

Mom2rh

One issue here is that all of us responding to this thread have internet access and/or smart phones. The folks we are talking about probably don't. And while internet access doesn't necessarily mean we are all better educated than those without internet, I'd guess people without internet have less access to resources, education, etc.

Another issue regarding the condescension and lack of compassion some people are displaying, is the assumption that *your* life and experiences are universal and apply to everyone. The population living in poverty, especially inner city areas, are living the only life they know...because their families have lived it for generations. Get off your high horse and go see what they are dealing with.

And my last comment, Alice Waters, world renowned chef, has done amazing things in Berkeley, CA and could be a model for others schools and areas in how to teach kids about nutrition. The middle school she works with plants a garden, grows their own food, harvests and eats it. Pretty amazing. http://www.edibleschoolyard.org/

Barneystinson

One issue here is that all of us responding to this thread have internet access and/or smart phones. The folks we are talking about probably don't. And while internet access doesn't necessarily mean we are all better educated than those without internet, I'd guess people without internet have less access to resources, education, etc.

Another issue regarding the condescension and lack of compassion some people are displaying, is the assumption that *your* life and experiences are universal and apply to everyone. The population living in poverty, especially inner city areas, are living the only life they know...because their families have lived it for generations. Get off your high horse and go see what they are dealing with.

And my last comment, Alice Waters, world renowned chef, has done amazing things in Berkeley, CA and could be a model for others schools and areas in how to teach kids about nutrition. The middle school she works with plants a garden, grows their own food, harvests and eats it. Pretty amazing. http://www.edibleschoolyard.org/

On the opposite side of this, there are many who have dealt with inner city youth (I was a tutor for some time) and do have exposure to inner city poverty (Philly, Allentown). Many youth are trapped in a bad situation where the parents do little or care little to support them and they are left to their own devices in adolescense. Many may have behavioral problems, but despite that, educators, tutors, volunteers, etc. are trying to steer them toward a better path. Getting back to the school lunches - YES, they are a Godsend for some who have no other option.

I can say this - there are cases of truly deserving families and there are cases of families having entirely mixed priorities. Simply because a family is receiving public assistance doesn't mean the funds are budgeted to the best interest of the family. Many DO have internet, smartphones, technology, etc. that many of us consider "luxury" goods. These cases may be the examples where the family has some means to take care of their children, but do not. Either by neglecting their nutritional needs for their other debts, unnecessary expenses, etc.

In my younger years living in a fairly rural area, I went to school with a lot of kids living below the poverty line. They were made fun of frequently for being smelly or having tattered clothing. I felt bad for a lot of them - hey, I got bullied just like them but because I was chubby. Sometimes we would take a drive out in the country as a family. I'd see a lot of horribly run down houses and saw my classmates playing outside of some of them. Some of which, funny enough, had satellite dishes and nice trucks, ATVs, dirtbikes, parked next to them - I was young - didn't make a connection until later (see below). When I was aware of how I could help, my mom and I donated used clothing to some local families and also donated goods to the Salvation Army.

One thing that absolutely ENRAGED me about many of these cases, as I got old enough to understand was the behavior of many of the parents of these children. Where did I see them? The bar. Demolition derbies/races. The bowling alley. Drinking away their funding, spending it on $20 pit passes at the demo derby.

Yeah. Neglect your kids, but go blow your money on entertainment. I am judging that observation critically - and I have no regrets for doing it.

That soured my viewpoint of the welfare system and made me just a bit more cynical. I'm happy funding and donations help those in need. I'm very angry some choose to take that assistance and blow it on goods even middle and upper class folk would consider luxuries, not necessities. I've worked in emergency services and see similar stories all based upon what you see when you enter an average home. A lot of materialistic nonsense and luxury items - family is on public assistance. Maybe it's the same story with the middle working class - a lot of show on the outside, a lot of crippling debt to prove it.

Mtsidad

What a great topic!

The original issue is: we should be feeding our kids healthy foods. Some of us have the option of packing a healthy lunch. Some of us (not many on this board, I'd wager) don't have that option for a wide variety of reasons: income, location, lifestyle choices, parenting styles, and so on.

I'd stay focused on what's best for the kids as far as the food they eat, and look to find solutions for that. While I agree some of the problems come from parenting styles and lifestyle choices, and those need to get changed, the real issue should remain (in my opinion) what's best for the kids. I have met many parents across all incomes, and there is no group that has a lock on good parenting or even on being good humans.

These are the kids whose jobs are going to pay for your retirement, so it would be good to take care of them.

julia23

Wow couldn't believe all the responses !
If we take money out of it, so everybody has the same income you can still teach children what the healthy option is and what's good for you and what's not. But then if the options not there at school what's the child to do. So then you pack lunches but then what if you can't afford it and circles !

MyNameIsNotBob

What I don't understand, is why on earth parents don't pack a lunch for their kids. Isn't it expensive to eat in the cafeteria every single day? Why do so many rely on the school to provide nutrition to their children? I feel it is my job to feed my kids. Maybe I'm a minority though.

Because they're struggling to make ends meet. Many families don't have homes or refrigerators, or jobs... the children are receiving *free* meals at school. You are lucky to be able to provide well for your family. Others are struggling in different ways. It's not helpful to judge them based upon your own priorities.

No, she's not "lucky" to be able to provide for her family. She works hard to be able to provide for her family. And it IS helpful to look at someone's priorities when that person's priorities are in the right order, starting with her children. I wonder how many parents who claim they can't afford to make their kids a lunch every day can somehow magically find enough money to pay a cell phone bill every month.

The problem in America is that no one believes in personal responsibility. You breed them, you feed them.

But, you know what? There are areas of major cities where the residents don't have access to grocery stores, farmer's markets, or gardens. And no transportation to get to other parts of the city. How would you suggest those parents buy and pack lunches? From the meager offerings at the gas station? Or from McDs? There's one on every corner in Anacostia, DC, but no grocery stores to be seen for miles.

There is no magic work hard=success formula. Many, many families who are living under the poverty line work "hard." They just don't have the social capital to be able to pull themselves out of the poverty the way that someone born into an educated middle-class family does. It's a vicious cycle, sure, but judging people born into situations they can't get out of doesn't help.

Free and reduced-price school lunches serve a very important function in our society. They feed hungry children. It's frustrating that they're not always as healthy as we know is best. But there's only so much money to go around (especially in poorer districts where there isn't a lot of personal property tax to fund the schools, or where the parents aren't as connected and active in order to raise extra funds).

Whether we like the school lunches or not, I certainly hope that nobody is advocating doing away with free and reduced price lunches. You would be a terrible, terrible person for thinking it's okay to let small children go hungry.

Badunkadunk_Buster

My son goes to a charter school that does not have a cafeteria. We, as parents have to send a lunch to school with our children. What is even better, they don't allow junk food or sodas. I have to send him with healthy snack and water only. If it were not for this rule, I am sure my son would prefer chips and juice boxes and what not at school. But since it's the rule, he knows, and it isn't even a discussion. And it forces me to get it together and prepare healthy food and not take the easy way out by throwing in a bunch of packaged & processed foods everyday. I think more schools should focus on providing healthy food, or no food at all!

MyNameIsNotBob

I think more schools should focus on providing healthy food, or no food at all!

Idealism is great, but what about the kids who would show up with no lunch?

Hearts_2015

What I don't understand, is why on earth parents don't pack a lunch for their kids. Isn't it expensive to eat in the cafeteria every single day? Why do so many rely on the school to provide nutrition to their children? I feel it is my job to feed my kids. Maybe I'm a minority though.

Love your attitude! You're a good Momma in that you care enough about your children to take time out to pack them a lunch and provide them good nutrition. It's teaching them so much, it's something they'll always know now! !

And people with limited means don't love or care for their children? Please.

I don't believe that's what my post said at all. I was merely commenting on the Mom taking time out to pack her kids lunch and that was ALL my comment was intended for. Is it possible some on this thread are perhaps taking things a bit out of context. :huh: Nah! That can't be:laugh: that'd never happen on MFP.:noway:

Hearts_2015

My son goes to a charter school that does not have a cafeteria. We, as parents have to send a lunch to school with our children. What is even better, they don't allow junk food or sodas. I have to send him with healthy snack and water only. If it were not for this rule, I am sure my son would prefer chips and juice boxes and what not at school. But since it's the rule, he knows, and it isn't even a discussion. And it forces me to get it together and prepare healthy food and not take the easy way out by throwing in a bunch of packaged & processed foods everyday. I think more schools should focus on providing healthy food, or no food at all!

Love this chance you get in preparing your sons lunch in foods you WANT him to eat.