People going through a divorce?

Lauralovesmfp

My husband and I separated almost two months ago and decided not to get the lawyers involved and just separate for a year and then file. My problem is this, he is gone and says he won't pay for anything home related (house payments, insurance, fuel) because he doesn't live here but then after a year he wants 1/2. He's giving me 825.00 a month for the kids and that's it. Does that seem fair to you guys?

bouldert

GET AN ATTORNEY

T_R_A_V

something is fishy here

AngelaPowPowPOW

Get a lawyer. The longer you live under this arrangement...the more his lawyer can say you can adjust and survive on it.

julwills

I think you should get a lawyer asap.

angiesteele

I say get a lawyer. You need it for the sake of your kids and your sanity.

AngelaPowPowPOW

P.S.....sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. It's hard at the beginning, but keep reminding yourself how you dodged...that...bullet!

Lauralovesmfp

P.S.....sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. It's hard at the beginning, but keep reminding yourself how you dodged...that...bullet!

Uh, didn't dodge it, took it right in the head cause I stayed with him almost 18 years :frown:

nananie2

Why don't you go see a mediator? It's a good way to settle things without making them worse than they are...

kbeach08

Speaking from seeing it with my sister... GET A LAWYER!!!

Carl01

Not a good arrangement at all,at least not for you...if he wants half the value he needs to foot half the expenses.

biged335

Get a lawyer!!! That's the only way to protect yourself...

sophjakesmom

not sure what state you are in, but in Indiana, the office that handles child and family services has a calculator to determine what is the right amount of support by law. I would definitely advise you to get an attorney even if it is to ask these types of questions. I know it is an expense, but you have to be able to take care of your self and your kids and he is not on the same "team" any more.

Hang in there! My divorce 5 years ago was the hardest thing I ever went through, even though we really didn't fight about a lot. I just felt so overwhelmed about taking care of kids financially (I had been a stay at home mom.) Don't forget to take care of yourself too!

AllyS7

I don't know too much about legalities, but I do know when something doesn't feel right. Get a lawyer.

yde888

Having been through a divorce myself - I strongly second

"GET AN ATTORNEY"

From experience, I suggest you Interview several attorneys (they shouldn't charge for an initial consultation) before you decide.

Lauralovesmfp

Not a good arrangement at all,at least not for you...if he wants half the value he needs to foot half the expenses.

That is kinda what I thought!

lindainak

Well that sounds like a good deal for someone........Get smart. Get an attorney now! Of course he wants to go the attorney less route. He can get a much better deal manipulating you who does not know her legal options.

doobabe

You need an attorney, period. Money well spent at the end of the day. And DOCUMENT every penny until the settlement is agreed upon.
PS- I have a pug too, and yours are GORGEOUS )

sophjakesmom

here is the website for the Indiana calculator http://www.in.gov/judiciary/childsupport/

erickirb

Good luck. I agree with him not paying for the house and fuel that you use, but he should only get half the house minus whatever expenses you put in during that time. So if half worked out to 80K he should get 80K - your monthly costs to stay there. if they are 1500/month he should only get 62K (80,000-18,000(1,500*12)), and you would get your 80K plus 18,000 back that you paid you should get back the total you paid in, not just the principal you paid into. Otherwise you should sell now.

I would suggest a lawyer though just to get this agreed upon before.

Lauralovesmfp

You need an attorney, period. Money well spent at the end of the day. And DOCUMENT every penny until the settlement is agreed upon.
PS- I have a pug too, and yours are GORGEOUS )

I LOVE my pugs, now they are pugs of divorce. I'd kill him before he gets them!:devil:

Triquetra

Get a lawyer, expecially if you have children involved!

I was divorced about 2 years ago. I'm in Ontario, Canada and here there is more financial items that just the support amount that you can get assistance for your kids with (like paying for school activities, sports, daycare, RESP's etc). Also you should be able to buy him out of the house before the year is up so that you are only listed on the title and everything is yours legally (especially if you are paying all the bills and stuff) and also so that if it is worth more (which it will be after you pay a year of the mortgage) that he doesn't get a share of this increase and/or sell the house and settle up now. There are also things to consider like pension splitting, benefits for the children, who pays for braces/medical expenses, etc. It is better to consult a lawyer and get everything sorted now in a "Separation Agreement" and then it turns into your "Divorce Agreement" after the year is up.

If you are unable to pay for a lawyer, you can try to get a financial aid lawyer or even a law student who can at least advise you, sometimes you can get like the first hours with a lawyer free as well. You can PM or friend me if you want.

AngelaPowPowPOW

P.S.....sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. It's hard at the beginning, but keep reminding yourself how you dodged...that...bullet!

Uh, didn't dodge it, took it right in the head cause I stayed with him almost 18 years :frown:

Yikes! I was in mine for 15. I never saw it coming. I came home from work and he says "My girlfriend doesn't like you living here." Interesting. At the time I thought I took two in the chest, but now...4 years out...I can't thank that b-word enough for getting him off my hands.

Lauralovesmfp

here is the website for the Indiana calculator http://www.in.gov/judiciary/childsupport/

Don't think it is the same in Canada, but thanks.

Lauralovesmfp

Get a lawyer, expecially if you have children involved!

I was divorced about 2 years ago. I'm in Ontario, Canada and here there is more financial items that just the support amount that you can get assistance for your kids with (like paying for school activities, sports, daycare, RESP's etc). Also you should be able to buy him out of the house before the year is up so that you are only listed on the title and everything is yours legally (especially if you are paying all the bills and stuff) and also so that if it is worth more (which it will be after you pay a year of the mortgage) that he doesn't get a share of this increase and/or sell the house and settle up now. There are also things to consider like pension splitting, benefits for the children, who pays for braces/medical expenses, etc. It is better to consult a lawyer and get everything sorted now in a "Separation Agreement" and then it turns into your "Divorce Agreement" after the year is up.

If you are unable to pay for a lawyer, you can try to get a financial aid lawyer or even a law student who can at least advise you, sometimes you can get like the first hours with a lawyer free as well. You can PM or friend me if you want.

Thanks! Adding you now!

Lauralovesmfp

P.S.....sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. It's hard at the beginning, but keep reminding yourself how you dodged...that...bullet!

Uh, didn't dodge it, took it right in the head cause I stayed with him almost 18 years :frown:

Yikes! I was in mine for 15. I never saw it coming. I came home from work and he says "My girlfriend doesn't like you living here." Interesting. At the time I thought I took two in the chest, but now...4 years out...I can't thank that b-word enough for getting him off my hands.

I am happy he is gone, don't get me wrong. I lived with a dead beat for all those years and now I am 180 lbs lighter

SunLovin1

Divorce. Been there, done that. Get a lawyer, hon. The sooner the better.

sophjakesmom

here is the website for the Indiana calculator http://www.in.gov/judiciary/childsupport/

Don't think it is the same in Canada, but thanks.

won't be the same, but will give you a reasonable place to start. But I absolutely agree with everyone that I would want an attorney on my side.

JulsDiane

My husband and I separated almost two months ago and decided not to get the lawyers involved and just separate for a year and then file. My problem is this, he is gone and says he won't pay for anything home related (house payments, insurance, fuel) because he doesn't live here but then after a year he wants 1/2. He's giving me 825.00 a month for the kids and that's it. Does that seem fair to you guys?

Is one of you legally trained? If not, then no matter what state you live in, if there is property a quit claim deed will have to be drawn up by an attorney. I had no kids when I divorced my ex and because there was no dispute(and I am somewhat legally trained) I was able to draw up all the paperwork and have an attorney friend review for me before filing. Anyway you look at it at this point, you have kids and a house therefore you need legal representation.

Zeromilediet

Make sure it's a lawyer whose experience is family law (separation & divorce) and not a jack/jill-of-all-trades. You want someone who is very knowledgeable ... sadly, the divorce experience is as much tactical as it is emotional.

Good luck.

Jizes318

I work in the legal field and my advice is GET A LAWYER AND DO THINGS THE RIGHT AND LEGAL WAY. IT WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU IN THE LONG RUN AND YOU DON'T GET THE *kitten* END OF THE STICK.