Boyfriend.

julia23

My partner is on here but i know he won't mind me writing this.

Jampoo was 217lbs he's 20 and 6ft 2. And in the last week or so he's been trying to eat healthy, and i'm all for the day off but he had sweets sunday, then monday and tuesday. And he is eating healthier but his portions are massive.

I am so worried about him, he put on a stone in just over a month and he'll continue to gain. I keep saying to him like, when you loose some lbs then you can have the treat but not loosing any and then eating junk isn't changing his normal life ? The only difference is he's having less take out but because of it he's snacking loads.

Any suggestions ? x

phinners

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

ZebraHead

You can't make him "DO" anything. The only thing you can do is be a good example in what you do. He will either change his mind or he won't but you can not force him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

julia23

Nice friendly comment. He's at work at the moment. And i didn't say i was forcing him to do anything, i was asking if anyone had any ideas i.e suggest x to snack on instead of x or does he need to up his calories because it's so much of a drop or etc. As in is anyone the same and found something that works for him because him and i are complete opposites when it comes to eating so i can't help.

Sumo813

You can't make him "DO" anything. The only thing you can do is be a good example in what you do. He will either change his mind or he won't but you can not force him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

I'm in agreement here. You can only control what you yourself do. You can't control his actions or cravings. Focus on what you do. You eat better. You exercise. And just be encouraging toward him. You seem to care about him and that's a good start, but remember that you can't change anyone. They have to want to change and then change themselves. Good luck.

Edit:
If you two live together, just do your best to stock the fridge and cupboards with healthy stuff. If you don't live together, then there's really not much you can do. In your pic, he looks like a pretty solid guy, and 217 isn't bad.

Also, good luck with your struggles as well.

Mad_Dog_Muscle

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

Wow..... that seems a bit uncalled for. she may have been just asking advice on how to approach him in a way that may NOT sound controlling..... lighten up people!

julia23

Bloomin' nora!
I'm not saying i want to make him do anything and i can't be a healthy example, i just wanted some ideas for when he is coming to me for advice i have some.

betterthanmama

Is there any other issues in his life right now? I don't know your situation so I really am just throwing out suggestions. I know depending on how I eat, it affects my husband in positive and negative ways. This can me his rebellion against my veggie & fruits with brownies, or some days the opposite - him wanting to eat veggies and fruit.

So it may be just him not being used to your diet change, or it could be something deeper with using food as a comfort and over eating. I am not sure if there is something you can do, since it would be him realizing his actions and wanting to change that. Maybe you can work together on it? Also be careful of putting too much pressure on the eating. Usually there are more factors to overeating besides "mmm.. tasty"

kcanoni

My boyfriend and I are complete opposites too

I know that he is a constant snacker (I call him a grazer). Maybe loading up on protein might be the best move for him because it's more filling than the junk he might be eating. Also, my boyfriend eats almonds if he's just looking for something to nibble. Most of all if he isn't exercising normally, you might want to try and find something both of you can do (walking, hiking, etc.) and then at least he's getting his heartrate up.

I'm a woman so I can only give "advice" from what I've seen my boyfriend do and he has lost quite a bit of weight from whatever it is that he's doing :happy:

TavistockToad

I agree with the above posts, but i think people have said stuff in a slightly harsh way.

At the end of the day, your boyfriend will only change his eating habits & lifestyle if HE wants to do it for HIMSELF.

We all know its not easy, if it was then MFP wouldnt need to exist!! All you can do is support him if he does want to change, and if not, then you might have some tough decisions to make....

In the meantime maybe you should find some fun activies that you enjoy and concentrate on them, and your diet. Then if your boyfriend wants to join in all the better.

Good luck!

DarcyAngeline

Talk to your doctor about vitamin supplements, lacking nutrients can make you crave foods and binge until your body feels satisfied. Suggest a bottle of water before snacking to help eat less. Try and make compromises in the grocery store for healthier snacks, nuts and dried fruits (check sugars on these) are great to toss into a snack baggy if you're on the go or just for something quick. In my experience the longer I have to stay in the kitchen to find a snack the more of a chance I'm going to grab some peanut butter, a glass of milk (empty calories) etc etc instead of just the one snack. Hope some of this helps. Happy Wednesday!

ZebraHead

Suggestions:

Don't keep junk in the house
Have him eat veggies (all he wants) for meals and snacking
Eat more protein at each meal (fish, chicken, turkey, lean beef)
Protein in snacks: nuts, cheese, peanut butter, etc... (be careful of the calories here)
Drink more water (2 cups before each meal)
Stop sitting around so you can 'snack' go for a walk
reduce the portion size
Stop buy prepackaged foods (no processed foods)

Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:

??Bloomin' Nora?? :huh:

AlwaysWanderer

Really... Are you all single? It's not control, it's caring.
My boyfriend is exactly the same. He weighs 95kg, and he's 5'8. But he's very musclular. He used to eat crap, and I mean real crap.But he's getting better.
So, I bought lots of canned fruit - I know, they are not good as fresh(he doesnt eat fresh fruit), but likes canned - the no added sugar ones), but it's better that chocolate and crisps. Also, made him some sugar-free jelly and put fruit it the pot. He loves it.
I cook dinners now. Not "no starch and lots of veggies", but still healthier. Lots of protein, less fat, new potatoes, not chips...
packed lunches - lean beef and cheese sandwich. better than fried chicken.
You need to make small changes. Otherwise it won't work. And feed him with gross info about the food he is eating. Not the calories, but chemicals etc. The best one I did was "if you eat 2 pacs of crisps a day, for a year, it's equvallent to drinking 10 liters of oil".
Now he only eats one pack, if any.
Hope this helps

Sumo813

Also, my boyfriend eats almonds if he's just looking for something to nibble. Most of all if he isn't exercising normally, you might want to try and find something both of you can do (walking, hiking, etc.) and then at least he's getting his heartrate up.

Nuts are great for snacking. I keep some cocoa roasted almonds in my bag at work for that reason. And the Emerald brand has lots of tasty varieties. Yogurt is great too, and typically not too pricey for good quality yogurt (greek is best, of course thanks to the lower sugar content and higher protein).

xAdrianax

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

Wow..... that seems a bit uncalled for. she may have been just asking advice on how to approach him in a way that may NOT sound controlling..... lighten up people!

Agreed!

julia23

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

barbacasec

Maybe get a food scale - so you can learn portion sizes together....then you can really see if his portions are too large...
and have him track his calories... maybe he is snacking because he is hungry... maybe set too low...
My hubby isnt trying to lose but he is very helpful - when we make dinner and such he asked how much I can have and he weighs it out for me- so it doesnt feel like he is pushing or forcing... he is helping.. and you whould be amazed what one serving size actually is... maybe he just doesnt know what one serving is....
He should possibly eat more frequently but smaller portions.
Make serving size snacks ahead of time...
I agree that you cant make him do it if he doesnt want to and nagging definately wont help- but maybe if you start preparing meals and snack together it can help....
I cant give you suggestions on snacks because I dont know what he is eating now or what he likes and it is probably going to be the same..... fruits/veggies etc... another thing I do - because I like to graze when I am bored.... if I "think" I am hungry I go find something to do for 10 minutes... no matter what it is... call someone, dishes etc... then if I am still "truly hungry" not bored then I have a healthy little snack...handful of almonds usually works because then I am very thirsty and drink a ton of water... hungry no more

good luck and remember dont push too hard or he might totally give up!
and try not to be condesending when you give ideas... men and women for that matter dont like being told they are doing things wrong!
IMHO have a good day and good luck!!

Sumo813

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

How often does he eat/snack? That could be another thing too. Something light every 2.5 - 3 hours is ideal. A good solid breakfast consisting of good protein and/or fiber with calories between 250-500 is also good. It should keep him fuller longer.

julia23

Just saw all the other replies !
He never ate breakfast and now has frosted shreddies or something and a big bowl then does 9 hours of care work with autistic man and women so quite a busy rushing about job and gets 1 20 minutes break at the end of his shift and they do provide lunch but only small amounts of whatever they cooked.
Really looking forward to cooking him lunch when he gets in and looking at recipes together to see if thers anything he'd like to increase and decrease by your suggestions! (I'm a bit clueless with this fibre, protein etc)

Bloomin' Nora is a phrase instead of bluddy hell.

phinners

Sorry forgot to wear my 'sugar coating' hat today.

And no I'm not single, I have a husband and 2 children. We eat healthy home made stuff, and he puts in his body what he wants, and if he wanted help he would ask for it or make his own threads, he is his own man like that.

betterthanmama

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

Getting too hungry probably is part of the reason. Agreed on every one's opinion on having low cal stuff to much on that would make him full. Is he a picky eater? Soup may be good to snack on since it feels like a meal and helps make you feel full.

julia23

I'm sorry but i was asking polietly for peoples experiences and suggestions not an argument.
I have an ED so i cannot talk to him at all about healthy eating and what to suggest when he wants some help, which isn't exactly a great feeling.
And do not make this personal insulting my partner, I have not said anything to insult you so please have the same respect and do the same.

julia23

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

Getting too hungry probably is part of the reason. Agreed on every one's opinion on having low cal stuff to much on that would make him full. Is he a picky eater? Soup may be good to snack on since it feels like a meal and helps make you feel full.

I've always wanted to try making soups ! Would they stay warm in a flask ?

phinners

Where did I insult your partner?

EAT- And I said you sound controlling because you were the one who clearly stated that you keep on at him when he loses weight he is allowed a treat. It sounds like you are rewarding a child for being a good little boy.

If he wants help he will ask for it, but you cannot go around telling the whole world he is putting on weight and will continue to do so if he doesn't do as you tell him. It's humiliating to him. You cannot control someone like that.

ZebraHead

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

Sometimes eating too fast makes folks eat too much... Their brain doesn't get the 'I'm full' message until they have already stuffed themselves.

Drinking 2 cups of water about 10 minutes before a meal and more with the meal will help.
Eating should not be a race.
Put down the fork, and slow down your meal
Enjoy the meal
Enjoy the company

Want to feel like you have a 'lot' of food... Use a smaller plate.

phinners

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

Getting too hungry probably is part of the reason. Agreed on every one's opinion on having low cal stuff to much on that would make him full. Is he a picky eater? Soup may be good to snack on since it feels like a meal and helps make you feel full.

I've always wanted to try making soups ! Would they stay warm in a flask ?

Yeah definately, some of them will keep food/drink piping hot for the entire day. We use a Tommy Tippee travel flask for the baby's water and after many hours it is still steaming!

RoadDog

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

Ouch!!

julia23

Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

Sometimes eating too fast makes folks eat too much... Their brain doesn't get the 'I'm full' message until they have already stuffed themselves.

Drinking 2 cups of water about 10 minutes before a meal and more with the meal will help.
Eating should not be a race.
Put down the fork, and slow down your meal
Enjoy the meal
Enjoy the company

Want to feel like you have a 'lot' of food... Use a smaller plate.

Oh now that is good advice, people joke that he inhales food haha.

crazymama2two

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

and you sound like a person who is happy being rude to people. good luck with that.

phinners

Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

Ouch!!

Oh come on, would you be happy for you partner to publically humiliate you like this, and tell you you can have a treat if you're a good boy? Course you wouldn't.

mrscjwilson

It truly is HIS BODY and HIS CHOICE, he has to live in His skin and you have to life in yours. Lead by example and have healthy options availble to him....but being a worry wart or a nag wont help anyone....Good Luck