Boyfriend.

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24

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  • julia23
    julia23 Posts: 87
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    I'm sorry but i was asking polietly for peoples experiences and suggestions not an argument.
    I have an ED so i cannot talk to him at all about healthy eating and what to suggest when he wants some help, which isn't exactly a great feeling.
    And do not make this personal insulting my partner, I have not said anything to insult you so please have the same respect and do the same.
  • julia23
    julia23 Posts: 87
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    Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !
    Getting too hungry probably is part of the reason. Agreed on every one's opinion on having low cal stuff to much on that would make him full. Is he a picky eater? Soup may be good to snack on since it feels like a meal and helps make you feel full.

    I've always wanted to try making soups ! Would they stay warm in a flask ?
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    Where did I insult your partner?

    EAT- And I said you sound controlling because you were the one who clearly stated that you keep on at him when he loses weight he is allowed a treat. It sounds like you are rewarding a child for being a good little boy.

    If he wants help he will ask for it, but you cannot go around telling the whole world he is putting on weight and will continue to do so if he doesn't do as you tell him. It's humiliating to him. You cannot control someone like that.
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

    Sometimes eating too fast makes folks eat too much... Their brain doesn't get the 'I'm full' message until they have already stuffed themselves.

    Drinking 2 cups of water about 10 minutes before a meal and more with the meal will help.
    Eating should not be a race.
    Put down the fork, and slow down your meal
    Enjoy the meal
    Enjoy the company

    Want to feel like you have a 'lot' of food... Use a smaller plate.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !
    Getting too hungry probably is part of the reason. Agreed on every one's opinion on having low cal stuff to much on that would make him full. Is he a picky eater? Soup may be good to snack on since it feels like a meal and helps make you feel full.

    I've always wanted to try making soups ! Would they stay warm in a flask ?
    Yeah definately, some of them will keep food/drink piping hot for the entire day. We use a Tommy Tippee travel flask for the baby's water and after many hours it is still steaming!
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

    Ouch!!
  • julia23
    julia23 Posts: 87
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    Haha thank you very much for your posts and advice! I like the idea of something more filling for snacking, I think, from and outsider view that he lets himself get to hungry making him eat big portions. Thank you again !

    Sometimes eating too fast makes folks eat too much... Their brain doesn't get the 'I'm full' message until they have already stuffed themselves.

    Drinking 2 cups of water about 10 minutes before a meal and more with the meal will help.
    Eating should not be a race.
    Put down the fork, and slow down your meal
    Enjoy the meal
    Enjoy the company

    Want to feel like you have a 'lot' of food... Use a smaller plate.


    Oh now that is good advice, people joke that he inhales food haha.
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

    and you sound like a person who is happy being rude to people. good luck with that.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

    Ouch!!
    Oh come on, would you be happy for you partner to publically humiliate you like this, and tell you you can have a treat if you're a good boy? Course you wouldn't.
  • mrscjwilson
    mrscjwilson Posts: 252
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    It truly is HIS BODY and HIS CHOICE, he has to live in His skin and you have to life in yours. Lead by example and have healthy options availble to him....but being a worry wart or a nag wont help anyone....Good Luck
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

    and you sound like a person who is happy being rude to people. good luck with that.
    And neither do I publically humiliate my husband and tell the world he is putting on weight! I have more respect for him than that.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    It truly is HIS BODY and HIS CHOICE, he has to live in His skin and you have to life in yours. Lead by example and have healthy options availble to him....but being a worry wart or a nag wont help anyone....Good Luck
    Exactly, no one wants a nag!
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    It truly is HIS BODY and HIS CHOICE, he has to live in His skin and you have to life in yours. Lead by example and have healthy options availble to him....but being a worry wart or a nag wont help anyone....Good Luck
    Exactly, no one wants a nag!

    youre judgemental and im glad i dont have you as a friend. but thats just my opinion and all.
  • betterthanmama
    betterthanmama Posts: 57 Member
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    I've always wanted to try making soups ! Would they stay warm in a flask ?

    Anything that is mean to keep food or beverages warm will work. You can use one of those beverage containers for thinner soups and use a bowl type container for thicker or chunky soups. make sure it doesn't leak and don't forget the spoon!
  • samanthakatecallan
    samanthakatecallan Posts: 20
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    IMO, Just have healthier snacks available to him like if you buy fresh fruits and veggies that he likes slice and put them in sandwich baggies so he can easily grab and take them to work, I know my boyfriend wouldn't do all the prep work but if it was grab and go he would take it, just like a bag of chips. Go grocery shopping together and stay on the edges of the grocery store for example: frsh produce, lean meats, dairy and the health food section; avoid processed garbage. Keep your lifestyle open to him and make him aware of healthier options. It sounds like he also might be better off with the eat every 2-3 hours thing if he can fit that into his schedule because he is a snacker !
  • katberz
    katberz Posts: 123
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    Perhaps offering some constructive help instead of constantly getting at OP would be more productive.

    You say he's gained nearly a stone in a month - any particular reason why? Is he under a lot of stress at the minute? A stone is a lot to gain in one month. Maybe you two need to talk and see if there's something bothering him? It's one thing if he's always struggled with his weight but such a sudden and rapid gain would tell me that something more serious is going on.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    It truly is HIS BODY and HIS CHOICE, he has to live in His skin and you have to life in yours. Lead by example and have healthy options availble to him....but being a worry wart or a nag wont help anyone....Good Luck
    Exactly, no one wants a nag!

    youre judgemental and im glad i dont have you as a friend. but thats just my opinion and all.
    Quick edit there, nice one.

    All opinions are welcome, not always agreed with but that's makes us all interesting.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
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    Perhaps offering some constructive help instead of constantly getting at OP would be more productive.

    You say he's gained nearly a stone in a month - any particular reason why? Is he under a lot of stress at the minute? A stone is a lot to gain in one month. Maybe you two need to talk and see if there's something bothering him? It's one thing if he's always struggled with his weight but such a sudden and rapid gain would tell me that something more serious is going on.
    See, this is exaclty what I'm saying OP, you're getting on at him.
  • julia23
    julia23 Posts: 87
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    Oh my goodness!

    The treat thing i've already explained via email.
    People have treat days on diets, i didn't suggest it i didn't have anything to do with it all i said is that he started to get back into the habit of eating junk each day after.

    And to be honest my partner and I are honest and open enough that i can say this sort of thing and he won't flutter and eyelash. I said he's on the site with an diary for everyone to see so he himself is publicly telling people that he's trying to loose weight.
    And i have never nagged him in my life, we live together and i do most of the food prep so i just wanted some friendly advice !

    Anyway, to the people that where kind and helpful thank you. Going to show him this when he gets in !
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Are you his keeper? Can't the man post for himself if wishes? You sound controlling.

    Ouch!!
    Oh come on, would you be happy for you partner to publically humiliate you like this, and tell you you can have a treat if you're a good boy? Course you wouldn't.

    I guess I didn't see her request for advice as public consternation. If my wife asked for help in this manner and I got wind of it, I wouldn't feel like I had been ambushed.

    Of course, we all interpret different situations based on our own past experience, and that may be where you and I see things differently. I've never been publicly humiliated and, therefore, am not sensitive to it.

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