Things that people just SHOULDN'T say!

phinners

On the flip side - who gives you the most support and encouragment? Who is it that says the nicest things?

For me its the hubby and my eldest boy.

Dean who is nearly 13 said the other week - wow mum I can really see your belly has shrunk! it used to be to here (meaures out with his hands) but its only to here now!! wow!

36jessica

Well, I've had comments from both sides. None of which I've liked:

'Good thing that dress is made of elastic fabric so you can keep on wearing it no matter how big you get'

'Don't throw out the fat pants just yet. You never know'

'You don't need to lose weight. You're so CUTE'

'I love you just as you are' (and then get divorced having my weight one of his issues with me in the proceedings)

A: 'How much weight have you lost so far?' B: 'About three kilos' A: 'Oh... have you considered trying Atkins?'

I could go on and on and on. But you know what, I just don't take much notice anymore. It all slides right off and I must say that I have all my friends here on MFP who have really made the whole weigh loss thing a non-nightmare.:flowerforyou:

wjewell

"YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE"

lmelangley

I've got a couple. My brother said, "Do you know you've put on weight this spring?"

and, my mother said, "You're not fat. Look at your cousins."

I also had a woman in a checkout line ask me when my child's sibling was due. I told her I wasn't pregnant, I was just fat. You've never seen anyone turn around more quickly. But, I'm hoping my comment saved another person the same comment.

mdgracia

"That diet (exercise, food or supplement) will kill you." So will the extra 100 pounds. Thanks for the thread. I too will be more careful of what I say. And for those people who are constantly discouraging me by these words....don't worry when I stop calling. I will send you a picture when I meet my goal.

lclarkjr

I casually mentioned to my boss that I was training to run a marathon and he actually told me I wasn't in good enough shape to run a marathon. This was 10 weeks into my training with 6 weeks left to go. Of course with that marathon now completed and me being about 15 lbs lighter than I was then, my boss is singing a different tune!

merrycat

For me these comments fall into to categories - genuinely supportive, like when my man says "I think you look sexy as you are" .or when my family asks "Can you eat that?" because they want to make sure that they make food I can enjoy guilt free.

But the same comments from other people I would file under "Unsoliciated Advice." Because I know that when the girl I work with says "You don't need to lose weight," it's because she wants me to stay fatter than her. I know this because she's thinner than I am, but always complaining about her fat, going on diets, taking various supplements, etc. Same with people who want feel that, just because they're thinner than me, they're fitness experts and start lecturing me on the various things I should do (Go on the latest fad diet! Drink only lemon water! Stop drinking so much soda! What do you mean you don't drink soda? Don't try to lie to me, I mean, look at you!)

With the first category, guininely supportive, I always thank them, and try to answer any questions they have with the best information I've got on hand. If they make suggestions I listen, even if I don't agree, because I know it's coming from a desire to help me.

With the "unsolicited advice" group, I go with what Miss Manners once suggested to one of her readers, I just say "So kind of you to take an interest," in a polite but cold tone of voice. After a couple of repetitions they usually figure out to mind their own business.

sunyg

Oh, and "Your Goal Weight is very low". Yes, that's because I'm practically a midget and have small bones.

This for me!

sadielane

A "friend" once told me "you're not THAT fat"!!! Really, is that supposed to make me feel better?!?!

I've gotten the "are you pregnant" several times :frown: