single! and wondering
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I feel the same way!0
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haha, yes, I feel this way a lot too - can't seem to find the "right" guy. But, I am only 23 - might as well live it up while I am young.
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First off, you need to get some sleep hun! :flowerforyou:
Second, you should never settle...you will find the right person for you soon enough. xoxo
ya! 0 -
I did! After my shi**t relationship history (cheats, cheats and more cheats!) I really thought that I was going to be on my own because I had THE worst taste in men! Then went to my friends work xmas do in Dec '09 and met one of her brothers mates, we got together officially 30th Jan '10 and although he drives me mad on a regular basis, I wouldn't be without him, however much I moan!
Have faith!0 -
I feel this way sometimes when I'm lonely, but then I remember that my main focus right now is to work on myself.I can. I first need to learn to unconditionally love myself and be completely comfortable in my skin, before I could even think about letting someone in my life.
Cheesy, but true.
Crystal0 -
I was married 14 years and am now single (4 years). I have come to realise that the ideal partner I dream of is a fantasy.
As I would like to be with a suitable partner one day, I am prepared to consider potential partners to see how I get on with them, even if they don't match the ideal I have in my head.
Getting a balance on core values/beliefs is very important. Learning communication and tolerance of differences is useful too.
I am still learning about all this. BUT I am not holding my breath for the perfect, ideal partner. At the same time, there are some requirements that I will not compromise (based on my values and beliefs).
As to what makes me happy, well thats what comes from within me and from my own thinking in response to situations.0 -
I used to feel like that. Now I don't. And no, I haven't entered a relationship.
I've just realised that if I place so much importance on it, and lower my self-esteem as a result, I'm not going to appear as attractive a person.
I've only started having romantic feelings towards ANYONE in the past year (and I'm 21 now). I've wanted a relationship for longer, but didn't really know what it entailed.
I worried about reaching 25... 30... 35... without having a relationship. I worried about when I got older: where would I live that I could support the mortgage of on my own? Will I grow old lonely and forgotten? What happens when my other friends get married and start spending time with other married couples instead of single me?
Now I see the problem was in myself. I didn't feel attractive, partly because I was obese, and partly because I was not confident in my intellectual capabilities. Now that I'm losing weight, I feel more attractive than I did when I was originally the weight I am now. Now that I exercise frequently I feel less like a bundle of flab and more like a fit, healthy human being. I'm at university and am starting to grow confidence in my ability to do my degree well.
So what about relationships? Surely I'm wanting a relationship more than ever now I feel more ready for it? Well, I am not in a relationship yet (for one, I barely see any friends right now for reasons I won't go into at the moment), but the main thing is I don't really care anymore. Sure, it would be great to find someone, but it's also great if I don't.
And I think that appears like a more attractive quality than anything else.0 -
Absolutely. I'm single for the first time since I was 14, "fired" 90% of my "friends" (we grew apart, they sucked haha) and working from home makes it damn near impossible to meet new people.
I am saving up for a move in a couple of months to a beach in Texas near a TON of weird and interesting things to do. I figure once I commit to new forms of recreation, I'll meet more people and, from there, it's just a matter of time.
Edited to add: Word to the wise: do NOT move to Arizona. There's nothing here besides church and shopping. :sick:
Also, online dating = no bueno. Each person I talked to turned out to be nuts. Like, certifiable. haha Not doing that again!
Texas will be better! :bigsmile:0 -
I feel this way all the time, but I am very picky and will not date just anybody. There has to be a connection both physically and emotionally in order for me to spend time on somebody. One of these days I'll find somebody that meets my expectations and until then, I'll have fun going through the ones that dont! haha.0
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agree with this but ppl doing what they say is the biggest thing to meI feel this way all the time, but I am very picky and will not date just anybody. There has to be a connection both physically and emotionally in order for me to spend time on somebody. One of these days I'll find somebody that meets my expectations and until then, I'll have fun going through the ones that dont! haha.0 -
People shouldn't settle, the right person will come along when you least expect it.0
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First off, you need to get some sleep hun! :flowerforyou:
Second, you should never settle...you will find the right person for you soon enough. xoxo ya!
Yeah what she said! 0 -
I felt this way for a long time, and the thought still crosses my mind that I may never meet "the one." It's depressing, but I have to believe I will find him someday. And being single for as long as I have been, I know I will never take him for granted.
And I agree about not settling. People say it's unreasonable to have an "ideal" person in mind because you'll never find them, but I think that's crap. Any person who is self-aware has things they are not willing to compromise on when it comes to the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with, and those non-negotiables are almost always character issues, not physical traits. If you settle for someone who is less than your ideal in terms of their character, there's no way you will ever be happy.
I can't speak from personal experience, but I would imagine that being married to someone you don't really love and who doesn't really love you has to be way lonelier than being single.0 -
I think about that alllll the time. I meet guys, and theyre great and all, but I tend to find flaws with them where I tell myself I can do better...but can I? I either feel like I'm settling....or the guy is way too good for me...never just content in the middle. Maybe we all need therapy lol0
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I do the "he's too good for me" thing myself, and I know it's stupid. I'm a catch, and I'm not afraid to say so. When I meet a guy I really like and we seem to hit it off, I think "Awesome, I found a great guy. Maybe he'll call and ask me out." If he doesn't, I think "I'm probably out of his league," when the truth is that he likely just didn't feel the same way, and that doesn't make me unworthy, nor does it make him a bad guy. I have to try to keep that thought in the front of my brain.0
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I wish I was single. I kno that's bad to say. But i kinda settled since we have kids together. We just kinda exist with each other. Not very exciting or loving. We don't even sleep together and I'm only 220
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Ditto!!! Been single awhile and am pretty much guessing that I will be this way forever
Oh well :huh:0 -
I didn't settle, thought had found my 'soulmate' but turned out he didn't feel the same. Sometimes being single sucks and its lonely but its a lot better than being lied to and cheated on. Never mind being happy, right now I'd settle just for some peace!0
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I agree, I'm at a point where romance really isn't on my radar. If it happens, great. But I've come to realize that I've got a lot to be happy about ... I have a healthy body that I grow prouder of every day, I have a great job, a nice roof over my head, food on my table, and people in my life who love me despite all my flaws. If being single is my biggest problem, then I'm pretty lucky.0
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People shouldn't settle, the right person will come along when you least expect it.
If I hear that OR "just stop looking, she'll find you" one more time.. someone is getting cut!0 -
Some of the things ppl said on here make me laugh. I sometimes feel that way...but then I ask WHY I feel that way.
If I feel that way because I read stories or hear messages about how the older I get it'll be harder to find someone or for me the stats that educated women stay single longer or don't have children....I try to ignore those stats. I tell myself the choices I make will lead to a better life for me and my family someday and stats never say 100% of ppl end up that way, only it's a trend...and I've never followed trends!
My thought process is "why am I doing all of this?". I feel like working (to pay for fun) and the fun I have and everything else should be shared with someone. Not just friends, not on message boards, not with family. No offense to anyone. I want someone who is a lover and partner to share my joys and troubles. Someone I can do the same for. Maybe we won't share EVERY interest...and that's cool, I need my ME activities. It's just having a partner in crime would be wonderful, and NO I don't need to just love myself...I DO love myself...that's why I think/know I'd be great for someone else to love too. Haha0 -
People shouldn't settle, the right person will come along when you least expect it.
If I hear that OR "just stop looking, she'll find you" one more time.. someone is getting cut!
Haaa...I KNOW!!! Grrrr...."just stop looking and he'll be there" .....right...wutever :grumble:0 -
wow my thought!I think about that alllll the time. I meet guys, and theyre great and all, but I tend to find flaws with them where I tell myself I can do better...but can I? I either feel like I'm settling....or the guy is way too good for me...never just content in the middle. Maybe we all need therapy lol0 -
I have spent my life settling just because I don't want to be alone.
wow my thought!I think about that alllll the time. I meet guys, and theyre great and all, but I tend to find flaws with them where I tell myself I can do better...but can I? I either feel like I'm settling....or the guy is way too good for me...never just content in the middle. Maybe we all need therapy lol0 -
psh. i'm not single. i'm in a relationship with my BICEPS...0
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It's better to be alone and happy then alone with someone.
As long as you have a Rabbit, TV, and Friends what more do you need!0 -
I thought only lucky people got to be in love...and that it just wasn't for everyone, so I focused on being self-sufficient and successful...when I needed him the most, at the most inopportune time, the man of my dreams pile drove into my life...with his 5 year old kid! 4 years later we're gettng married and I have a kid turning 9 in August lol...it happens when you least expect it, just have fun and keep your mind open. My fiance isn't ANYONE that I would ever think I'd end up with, but I have never been happier.0
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Right with you!0
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I very recently got out of a relationship and I'm looking forward to focusing on myself. I got lost in that relationship and neglected my health, needs, and wants.
Be thankful for the time you have with yourself! You'll be a better/confident person being content with your life, the current people that are in your life that love you, your goals, your treasures inside of worrying why you DONT have a person in your life....And when that right person comes into you're life, you'll be ready. 0 -
Wow! Everyone seems to be having the same problem as me. You know what Im tired of hearing..."You're so cool and great, why are you still single?" You know if I knew that answer than I probably wouldnt be single anymore, would I?!?! I guess right now with all that has happened to me, Im just going to focus on me and my life. Get healthy again and be happy again with myself . Then maybe Ill be lucky enough to either find that special someone or that special someone from my past will reappear.
Like others have said, love will shows its beautiful face when you least expect it.0
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