Sabotage? Hubby vent...

BeyondApril

I started a post on this once as well. My husband does NOT want me losing anymore weight! I am 1 pound away from my goal weight. Others have said he feels threatened, jealous, etc. Also, it would not kill him to lose 40 pounds, but he said , "If I even lost more than 10 pounds I would probably die of anorexia" so he def does not 'get it'.

I think really he just likes his women more curvy. I try to emphasize how much healthier it is for me, but he prefers what he prefers.

I even bought new lingerie, something I have not done in a while, and planned a romantic evening when I would model it for him.

His response was "You look scrawny."

At 5'2" and 129, I am certainly not scrawny. I am strong and healthy. I feel sad he does not see it this way, but I will not go back to eating crap and then feeling like crap because he prefers a different visual when he looks at me. He can deal. I know he loves me no matter what, and hopefully my positive attitude will rub off on him a little.

Good luck!

JenCM

I can understand this completely.

Hubby is def a guy who likes bigger girls. He's mentioned to me that he would rather I not get under a size 14/16, because he feels like I'll be too skinny. However, I ignore this to a degree. Not because I don't love him, but because I've been heavy forever and I don't want to continue like this! It's my body and in the end, he's going to love me for who and what I am or not. I have to do this to take care of Myself.
I think also, honestly, he doesn't want to lose his "food buddy" and be the heavy guy with the thinner wife because it'll put more attention on him in that...because he's about 60 lbs overweight himself and I know it's been weird for him to not have me eating all the yummy stuff with him. To him, that's some sort of bond we share. He does support me in doing this, but I can tell he has his problems and they're HIS, not mine. *shrug*

Jdismybug1

Mine is kind of up and down sometimes. He pretty much says I can lose whatever I want he just doesn't want me to be too skinny. Then well be watching TV and he'll see someone and say their hot and tiny. Then later he will tell me he never wants me to be that thin... it makes no sense.
I'm not trying to model myself after celebrities, I'm just trying to get to a weight where I am comfortable.

Jdismybug1

I bet he feels threatened and worried that once you are thin you will lose him to find a "better" spouse. My husband used to sabotage me, too, by cooking things with lots of butter (without telling me) and refusing to follow the recipes that he would ask me to find. I finally told him that I would just start cooking my own food if he was going to cook that way (he's disabled and home all day and loves to cook). So he finally stopped trying to undermine my weight loss.

Mine hasn't tried to sabotage me that I know of, but I wish he would cook more often, maybe we should get them together.

mom23nuts

he is nervous about the outside you changing the inside you and then him not measuring up or not being good enough for the new you.

just tell him you married him through thick and thin and now this is thin and yo love him and need him and want him just the same as the past.

jonikeffer

Like many others have said, he's probably afraid you'll leave him, or feels that he will no longer be adequate and you'll want him to improve his appearance too. The thing that doesn't help is that so many sources have reported that when you see your spouse trying to lose weight and/or changing their appearance, it's a sign they are getting ready to ditch their partner. So he definitely needs very clear/explicit reassurances from you that you are doing this to get healthy and for yourself, and are not getting ready to leave him.

You know guys don't get hints either (sorry guys) so you'll have to just sit him down and say outright, "I see you trying to sabotage me and I want to make sure you know that I'm trying to get healthy and am not getting ready to leave you!"

AngieM76

Could just be insecurity. My husband keeps telling me I'm gonna lose the weight- be skinny and sexy-and leave him for a "hotter" guy. Just assure him you will still be the same person you always was!!

This is what my fiance says. All I can do is reassure him that I am losing weight to help my mom and to be healthier so that I am around to be with HIM for many more years to come.