what are you looking at? where do you get your self image?

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mrmarius
mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
in Motivation and Support
So many times here as well as in real life i see beautiful women complaining that they need to lose x amount, or fix this or that when infact they are as close to physically perfect as they can be. it makes me wonder what do they see in the mirror, i know for many they were called names growing up and that still sticks with them but i'm really trying to understand the reasons why soooo many women are soooo unhappy with their body, looks etc. Is it the media? so you dont look like the cover models etc but that doesnt mean you are not beautiful and even more beautiful than those women.its weird because i've seen women that had bodies others would kill for sit and be like i need to lose 30 more and i'm looking like where are you gonna get the 30lbs from? and maybe you do have that 50 you need to lose, but you should accept yourself as beautiful now working on being healthier instead of thinking that upon some magic number you will be beautiful. maybe because i'm a man and i think a different way because although i am still another 30lbs from my goal i'm quite happy with where i've gotten so far and really just wanting to be at a healthy weight/ body fat percentage etc, because even when i hit goal according to bmi charts and that foolishness i'll still be "overweight" but i'll be so ripped it wont matter lol. any how i've said all this to say i want you all to stop listening to the negative critic in your head, do your best to be healthy and stop obsessing over magic numbers, quit looking at people and comparing yourselves and learn to veiw you as what beautiful is.
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Replies

  • lilac01
    lilac01 Posts: 180 Member
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    Well said!
  • jacquejl
    jacquejl Posts: 193 Member
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    Wow, thank you!! :flowerforyou:
  • littlemamajamie
    littlemamajamie Posts: 118 Member
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    Very well said thanks!
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    You rock bro! :happy:
  • JPayne53
    JPayne53 Posts: 235 Member
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    I totally agree with men and women having a completely different view of self image! I'm actually conducting a bit of an experiment on a similar subject... please add me if your interested and read my blog.. I will admit I am one of those women who will probably never be satisfied with my self image as it is not matter how beautiful others may see me. This experiment has put a few things in perspective for me and helping me get over that hump.. and it's only the beginning! Well said sir! :drinker:
  • kristiek7
    kristiek7 Posts: 198
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    and this is why you are Mr. Awesome.
  • pbolton16
    pbolton16 Posts: 87
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    Word my brother and right on. I have always dealt with that and still do. I am trying to keep the attitude of " Screw the number".
    1. Are you doing the work
    2. Are you watching what you intake
    3. Do you feel good

    If you can say yes to all three of those that who cares what the chart says. You might be a size 12 and your girlfriend may be a size 6. So what!! How do you feel? The LBS will fall off and everyday you will feel better . Just realize that you will get there.
    It's not easy because if it was it wouldn't be worth it.
  • nehtaeh
    nehtaeh Posts: 2,977 Member
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    :drinker:
  • rubyrenga
    rubyrenga Posts: 402 Member
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    Nice to hear, and so true!:happy:
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
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    Wow, Thanks :blushing:
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
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    Was just reflecting on this the other day. I have lost close to 40lbs and I look down and still see the same body I had before.

    I was made fun of when I was younger.:cry: I was the dorky girl....overweight, freckled, no style, buck toothed....yeah, I know people can be mean. I internalized all of that and said those things to myself for years.

    I am SOOOO happy with my new body:love: ......when I have clothes on!! I also know that after YEARS of saying ugly things to myself, it will take longer than these 8 months to change my dialogue with myself. I know I will get there.....it just takes time.

    I WILL DO IT :happy:
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    well said. i too am one of those women that look in the mirror, after loosing quite a bit and still see the 300 lb lady in the mirror. i still see the fat thats there (which is really more skin then anything else) and tell myself it will never be enough. BUT... im starting to realize that i just might never make it to my goal. and even if i dont... thats quite ok with me. bc ive come a long way from where i once was. im no longer obese and as long as i know im working towards a healthier lifestyle then it doesnt matter what the scale OR the mirror says for that matter. thanks mr awesome! we ladies sure do love u!
  • cha36jennings
    cha36jennings Posts: 99 Member
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    Word my brother and right on. I have always dealt with that and still do. I am trying to keep the attitude of " Screw the number".
    1. Are you doing the work
    2. Are you watching what you intake
    3. Do you feel good

    If you can say yes to all three of those that who cares what the chart says. You might be a size 12 and your girlfriend may be a size 6. So what!! How do you feel? The LBS will fall off and everyday you will feel better . Just realize that you will get there.
    It's not easy because if it was it wouldn't be worth it.

    I'm in agreement with this although I used to be obsessed with the number on the scale. Since joining MFP I have realised that doing the above 3 have led me to change the way I view myself and I am no longer bothered about what I weigh on the scale....I'm only interested in being healthy, happy and toned :-)
  • faerybun
    faerybun Posts: 65
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    Where do I get my self image?

    Personally, I am 19 and on the internet a good portion of the day running my personal blog. A lot of my peers in that forum have blogs dedicated to the beauty that is 'slender'. Some take it even further to praising 'skinny'.

    I've never been medically overweight, ever. Yet even now, I see an overweight girl in the mirror.

    Not only does media contribute to those feelings, my personal life does, too. I'm Puerto Rican and in Colorado, where I live, that's pretty rare. All of my friends are white, petite, thin and don't have the hips, butt and thighs almost all PR women are saddled with. When I see that I wear four or five sizes bigger than them, it's a blow to my self image. I know it's weird to blame this on cultural difference, but it definitely contributes.

    But, I am trying to realize that I'm a healthy weight, I eat clean and exercise regularly and that should be enough. It's been a long, long time that I've been bombarding myself with negative self talk and comparing myself to girls that I could never possibly look like, but here's to trying to change it. I'm far from 'loving' myself and accepting myself as beautiful, but I'm making changes in the right direction.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    I've thought about this too. I see a lot of women on here who are great looking but feel they have to lose more weight. To me it's how you carry the weight more so than the number.
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    Was just reflecting on this the other day. I have lost close to 40lbs and I look down and still see the same body I had before.

    I was made fun of when I was younger.:cry: I was the dorky girl....overweight, freckled, no style, buck toothed....yeah, I know people can be mean. I internalized all of that and said those things to myself for years.

    I am SOOOO happy with my new body:love: ......when I have clothes on!! I also know that after YEARS of saying ugly things to myself, it will take longer than these 8 months to change my dialogue with myself. I know I will get there.....it just takes time.

    I WILL DO IT :happy:

    u are beautfiul. u are gorgeous. u are exactly as u should be. u are working towards a newer even more amazing u. (i get the freckeled thing alot too... COVERED in them. ugh. lol.) but... it makes us special!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I tend to think more like a guy, but I can definitely get to looking at myself in the mirror and scrutinizing. That said, I think that women especially in the last few decades have been told we need to do all of these things to improve ourselves. Not sure why. Maybe because we are allegedly trying to compete with men in the workforce. I don't know. I am an architect, married mother of one and when I really stop to think about it, I really just want to be a 1950's housewife...well, not exactly, but it would be nice to have less pressure on me than I do now! :)
  • canelly
    canelly Posts: 731 Member
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    yup im guilty of feeling fat when i know im not really that fat.. i guess its you know trying to impress your familly ; (
  • bluiz13
    bluiz13 Posts: 3,550 Member
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    we need men and other women to keep telling us we are beautiful and then maybe some dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy we might actually start to believe...
    sad to say it but it's true....

    this is a very nice thread to start and you are very smart man - and as a woman who has been told several times in the last week how thin and skinny i am getting even though i DO NOT SEE SKINNY when i look in the mirror i am coming to realize that compared to where i was just 3 short years ago 254 lbs down to 180ish right now - I AM SKINNIER - i may not be model thin but for me at this point in my life i am skinnier than i have been since high school or earlier....i still have more to go and you can see on me where it needs to come from but the point i have finally come to realize is that i am going to celebrate every step of the rest of my body transformation.....i'm going to celebrate my shrinking waist.....i'm going to celebrate my amazingly small calves and shins....and i'm even going to celebrate the hips that still need work because right now i can feel the bone just under the small layer of fat - it is right there...each day i make my body my own best body i will celebrate the parts that make me who i am....every woman - every man for that matter should celebrate the best parts of themselves everyday....keep working to improve but realize how FAR you have come....
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    Was just reflecting on this the other day. I have lost close to 40lbs and I look down and still see the same body I had before.

    I was made fun of when I was younger.:cry: I was the dorky girl....overweight, freckled, no style, buck toothed....yeah, I know people can be mean. I internalized all of that and said those things to myself for years.

    I am SOOOO happy with my new body:love: ......when I have clothes on!! I also know that after YEARS of saying ugly things to myself, it will take longer than these 8 months to change my dialogue with myself. I know I will get there.....it just takes time.

    I WILL DO IT :happy:

    u are beautfiul. u are gorgeous. u are exactly as u should be. u are working towards a newer even more amazing u. (i get the freckeled thing alot too... COVERED in them. ugh. lol.) but... it makes us special!

    Thanks! I love my freckles. They are my beauty marks and contribute to me being the "unique" person I am. I hate hearing people that dispise their freckles. They will NEVER go away. Embrace them for what they are :happy:

    And most of the weight and flaws I see on my body were from having my son. I would have 10 more of him if I could, and all the flaws that come with it :wink:

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