OT: What men aren't telling you!
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TamTastic
Posts: 19,224 Member
Food for thought!................ready...set............hike!!! :laugh:
What Men Aren't Telling Us
WebMD Feature from Oprah.comBy Chris Abani
That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:
When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.
Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.
We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.
We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.
We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.
We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.
We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.
Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.
Originally published on July 1, 2008
What Men Aren't Telling Us
WebMD Feature from Oprah.comBy Chris Abani
That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:
When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.
Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.
We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.
We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.
We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.
We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.
We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.
Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.
Originally published on July 1, 2008
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Replies
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Food for thought!................ready...set............hike!!! :laugh:
What Men Aren't Telling Us
WebMD Feature from Oprah.comBy Chris Abani
That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:
When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.
Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.
We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.
We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.
We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.
We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.
We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.
Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.
Originally published on July 1, 20080 -
Awww... this is super cute. Sounds just like my hubby.0
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Ahhh0
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and now we know! lol0
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Nailed it!0
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Sounds just like my man.... And yes, he likes to hold hands and cuddle more than me. :happy:0
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Nailed it!
puh-leeeeeeeze! :noway:
Joke for men:
Q. How do you give a woman a orgasm?
A. Who cares
You know you laughed. :laugh:0 -
lol shannon ! ur right, i did laugh0
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No BS - that's right on the money. Any man who can't say that is still hiding behind his ego/fears or is just selfish. Serious comments off...0
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...Joke for men:
Q. How do you give a woman a orgasm?
A. Who cares
You know you laughed. :laugh:
My favorite joke to tell women friends:
*holds up 2 fingers on my right hand*
Q: Do you know why women have better orgasms when they use these 2 fingers?
A. Because they're mine!
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: LOL!!! Don't anyone tell my hubby!...Joke for men:
Q. How do you give a woman a orgasm?
A. Who cares
You know you laughed. :laugh:
My favorite joke to tell women friends:
*holds up 2 fingers on my right hand*
Q: Do you know why women have better orgasms when they use these 2 fingers?
A. Because they're mine!0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: LOL!!! Don't anyone tell my hubby!...Joke for men:
Q. How do you give a woman a orgasm?
A. Who cares
You know you laughed. :laugh:
My favorite joke to tell women friends:
*holds up 2 fingers on my right hand*
Q: Do you know why women have better orgasms when they use these 2 fingers?
A. Because they're mine!
:laugh: 0 -
Tam, you got it in one! That is soooo true. The *real* key is open, and honest communication, and us guys aren't (mostly) very good at it with you wimmens. Thank God that there women like Ezzie who taught me that it's actually OK to just be myself with her.
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Aaaaawwww!Tam, you got it in one! That is soooo true. The *real* key is open, and honest communication, and us guys aren't (mostly) very good at it with you wimmens. Thank God that there women like Ezzie who taught me that it's actually OK to just be myself with her.0 -
Shannon..lol :laugh:
Reminds me of an early time in my marriage, I just had my daughter and I was hinting in every way possible that I needed some help around the house from my husband. Finally one day I just said I need your help with whatever it was and he said why didn't you say so. :noway:
When I told him I have been hinting at this in everyway possible he said he didn't speak hint and that just blurting it out in plain old english worked best for him
So now I just tell him quit being a slob and help and he does it.
If only I would have known that when I was younger I probably would have had a few more dates!:laugh:0 -
Shannon..lol :laugh:
Reminds me of an early time in my marriage, I just had my daughter and I was hinting in every way possible that I needed some help around the house from my husband. Finally one day I just said I need your help with whatever it was and he said why didn't you say so. :noway:
When I told him I have been hinting at this in everyway possible he said he didn't speak hint and that just blurting it out in plain old english worked best for him So now I just tell him quit being a slob and help and he does it.
If only I would have known that when I was younger I probably would have had a few more dates!:laugh:
I need your hubby to talk to mine.
For example around b/day's & Christmas: I'll tell him exactly what I want, where it can be found, what isle, etc...& he'll come home with jumper cables or whatever happens to be on the first table of any store. :grumble:
0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: LOL!!! Don't anyone tell my hubby!...Joke for men:
Q. How do you give a woman a orgasm?
A. Who cares
You know you laughed. :laugh:
My favorite joke to tell women friends:
*holds up 2 fingers on my right hand*
Q: Do you know why women have better orgasms when they use these 2 fingers?
A. Because they're mine!:laugh:
Ooops... :huh: :devil: :laugh: Thank goodness I signed the note BEFORE!0 -
I need your hubby to talk to mine.
For example around b/day's & Christmas: I'll tell him exactly what I want, where it can be found, what isle, etc...& he'll come home with jumper cables or whatever happens to be on the first table of any store. :grumble:
Hmmm, time to start "withholding"??!
On the flip side, I gotta beg my wife for details and even then I'm usually on my own. Her Bday is next week and I've been asking for a week - "nothing"! :mad:
:explode: :grumble: I'll just say, she gets a lot of jewelry and watches (they always seem to work). I wish she would just say whatever it is she wants but I usually get "nothing" or "I told you 6 months ago". I'm dumb as a buffalo; no way I remember a passing comment, while I'm carrying your bags, during a shopping march 6 months ago. Just....tell.....me.....and I'll buy it. :grumble: :frown: 0 -
I need your hubby to talk to mine.
For example around b/day's & Christmas: I'll tell him exactly what I want, where it can be found, what isle, etc...& he'll come home with jumper cables or whatever happens to be on the first table of any store. :grumble:
Hmmm, time to start "withholding"??!
On the flip side, I gotta beg my wife for details and even then I'm usually on my own. Her Bday is next week and I've been asking for a week - "nothing"! :mad: :explode: :grumble: I'll just say, she gets a lot of jewelry and watches (they always seem to work). I wish she would just say whatever it is she wants but I usually get "nothing" or "I told you 6 months ago". I'm dumb as a buffalo; no way I remember a passing comment, while I'm carrying your bags, during a shopping march 6 months ago. Just....tell.....me.....and I'll buy it. :grumble: :frown:
Does she like/appreciate gift certificates so she can buy whatever she wants???
I'd LOVE a gift cert as long as it wasn't to a sporting good or Auto parts store. :laugh:0 -
My b-day is next week too... Usually a nice dinner( where they don't have paper napkins or yellow & red in the sinage), flowers (which my man is great about) and anything bath & body works is a safe bet.I need your hubby to talk to mine.
For example around b/day's & Christmas: I'll tell him exactly what I want, where it can be found, what isle, etc...& he'll come home with jumper cables or whatever happens to be on the first table of any store. :grumble:
Hmmm, time to start "withholding"??!
On the flip side, I gotta beg my wife for details and even then I'm usually on my own. Her Bday is next week and I've been asking for a week - "nothing"! :mad: :explode: :grumble: I'll just say, she gets a lot of jewelry and watches (they always seem to work). I wish she would just say whatever it is she wants but I usually get "nothing" or "I told you 6 months ago". I'm dumb as a buffalo; no way I remember a passing comment, while I'm carrying your bags, during a shopping march 6 months ago. Just....tell.....me.....and I'll buy it. :grumble: :frown:0
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