PG-13/Adult content and the message boards

jamerz3294

I can completely see how some of the photos and some of the content that has been posted is completely inappropriate... but I think it is going to be hard to draw a fine line... I think people are gonna be offended no matter what... and i definately think sometimes its ok to lable a topic "pg13" especially if its light hearted but you think it MIGHT offend someone" . And my idea of PG13 might be different than the next persons idea of PG13... to be safe if i have a joke or something I will continue to lable it PG13 if i think it MIGHT offend someone...we dont want to lose the humor in here!!! the humor is what makes a lot of us come here as much as we do!! But we also dont want to offend anyone!! I know thats not my intentions!! But i sort of do agree that the completely inappropriate content should probably go (even though i am one of those posters :ohwell: )
The Hijacking has stopped on the website in recent days and we have all been really good about it.

continue with the great website mike.... and i hope you dont eject me from the site for posting my oppinion :laugh: :laugh:
Jackie


i just wanted to add another example of when it might be appropriate to add the PG13 lable to a post heading.... in the topic does s.e.x. burn calories... might be offensive to some but not to others... and its a pretty common question!!!

I agree that some stuff has been over the top, and had offended some people, which ain't right! But on the other hand, if we let the No Fun Police suck the life outta these Forums, there will be NO reason to be in here. Just my .02¢ Yea sure the serious stuff is very helpful, and so is the support of all My Family Peeps, don't get me wrong. I had just thought the OT PG13 threads were a good answer...sigh...

mholmes

But...when my head is spinning and the old me appears and wants to turn to food, I instead turn to the gutter gang. They make me laugh, keep my mind off whatever it is that is bothering me, and I am better for it. No one is being hurtful, rude, or demeaning. We joke around a lot, and make eachother laugh. I understand that sometimes it does get a little too raunchy. I am truly sorry for offecding anyone with anything I may have said.

Thanks for stealing the words right outta my head! I was havin the hardest time!! lol, agree 100% :flowerforyou: :drinker:

TamTastic

Hey all.

Well, I have avoided voicing my opinion simply because the drama since last week has just been too much. And there were a few "opinions" shared that left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly those of a hypocritical nature. And those judgemental comments and the behavior that followed has caused quite a bit of hurt in someone I care about very much and who is probably one of the sweetest and most genuine people on MFP.

I know I am one of those that has posted some "risque" comments. Though my idea of risque is quite a bit less raunchy than some. However, that is what makes us all unique individuals and to each their own. With that said, I am definitely going to own up to my part of it and apologize if I have offended anyone at any time. Pretending I haven't done so, would make my a hypocrite wouldnt you say??

Something else I would like to say is that I know for a fact a lot of us are dealing with some pretty hectic and stressful lives. We have serious life issues to deal with in our "real" lives. To me, this is a place to come to get support, offer support, log my calories, log my exercise, provide helpful information that I come across to others, etc.

But it is also a place I come to escape the stresses of my life. I enjoy coming here for a laugh and sometimes shaking my head and groaning at something someone has said. But I always do it with a smile and it makes me feel a lot better. I think many of us view it that way. I mean, with my friend fighting for her life in the hospital, this has been one of the only things to keep my mind off it and allow me to laugh a little. To get a little silly and make some innuendos is not hurting anyone I think, especially if there is a "content warning" in the title. If someone chooses to enter anyway, well isn't that THEIR choice and thereby becomes their consequence if it offends them??

No, this isn't a site made to entertain but if one or two threads (with the proper labeling) is set up for that....then I really don't see the problem. Like I said, some things might be a bit more "adult" than I would post...but..whatever...to each their own. If those kind of things offend you, then just don't read that particular thread. That's just my opinion.

First and foremost...just remember that this site and the people on it are amazingly helpful and I will always treasure everyone here, especially with the long journey I have had and will continue to have. We all came here with a common goal (to be healthy). So, let's keep it lighthearted, no matter what.....ok??

to all!
-Tami

Shannon023

Hey all.

Well, I have avoided voicing my opinion simply because the drama since last week has just been too much. And there were a few "opinions" shared that left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly those of a hypocritical nature. And those judgemental comments and the behavior that followed has caused quite a bit of hurt in someone I care about very much and who is probably one of the sweetest and most genuine people on MFP.

I know I am one of those that has posted some "risque" comments. Though my idea of risque is quite a bit less raunchy than some. However, that is what makes us all unique individuals and to each their own. With that said, I am definitely going to own up to my part of it and apologize if I have offended anyone at any time. Pretending I haven't done so, would make my a hypocrite wouldnt you say??

Something else I would like to say is that I know for a fact a lot of us are dealing with some pretty hectic and stressful lives. We have serious life issues to deal with in our "real" lives. To me, this is a place to come to get support, offer support, log my calories, log my exercise, provide helpful information that I come across to others, etc.

But it is also a place I come to escape the stresses of my life. I enjoy coming here for a laugh and sometimes shaking my head and groaning at something someone has said. But I always do it with a smile and it makes me feel a lot better. I think many of us view it that way. I mean, with my friend fighting for her life in the hospital, this has been one of the only things to keep my mind off it and allow me to laugh a little. To get a little silly and make some innuendos is not hurting anyone I think, especially if there is a "content warning" in the title. If someone chooses to enter anyway, well isn't that THEIR choice and thereby becomes their consequence if it offends them??

No, this isn't a site made to entertain but if one or two threads (with the proper labeling) is set up for that....then I really don't see the problem. Like I said, some things might be a bit more "adult" than I would post...but..whatever...to each their own. If those kind of things offend you, then just don't read that particular thread. That's just my opinion.

First and foremost...just remember that this site and the people on it are amazingly helpful and I will always treasure everyone here, especially with the long journey I have had and will continue to have. We all came here with a common goal (to be healthy). So, let's keep it lighthearted, no matter what.....ok??

to all!
-Tami

Nicely stated, Tam!

mjfer123

Hey all.

Well, I have avoided voicing my opinion simply because the drama since last week has just been too much. And there were a few "opinions" shared that left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly those of a hypocritical nature. And those judgemental comments and the behavior that followed has caused quite a bit of hurt in someone I care about very much and who is probably one of the sweetest and most genuine people on MFP.

I know I am one of those that has posted some "risque" comments. Though my idea of risque is quite a bit less raunchy than some. However, that is what makes us all unique individuals and to each their own. With that said, I am definitely going to own up to my part of it and apologize if I have offended anyone at any time. Pretending I haven't done so, would make my a hypocrite wouldnt you say??

Something else I would like to say is that I know for a fact a lot of us are dealing with some pretty hectic and stressful lives. We have serious life issues to deal with in our "real" lives. To me, this is a place to come to get support, offer support, log my calories, log my exercise, provide helpful information that I come across to others, etc.

But it is also a place I come to escape the stresses of my life. I enjoy coming here for a laugh and sometimes shaking my head and groaning at something someone has said. But I always do it with a smile and it makes me feel a lot better. I think many of us view it that way. I mean, with my friend fighting for her life in the hospital, this has been one of the only things to keep my mind off it and allow me to laugh a little. To get a little silly and make some innuendos is not hurting anyone I think, especially if there is a "content warning" in the title. If someone chooses to enter anyway, well isn't that THEIR choice and thereby becomes their consequence if it offends them??

No, this isn't a site made to entertain but if one or two threads (with the proper labeling) is set up for that....then I really don't see the problem. Like I said, some things might be a bit more "adult" than I would post...but..whatever...to each their own. If those kind of things offend you, then just don't read that particular thread. That's just my opinion.

First and foremost...just remember that this site and the people on it are amazingly helpful and I will always treasure everyone here, especially with the long journey I have had and will continue to have. We all came here with a common goal (to be healthy). So, let's keep it lighthearted, no matter what.....ok??

to all!
-Tami

Nicely stated, Tam!

indeed:drinker:

Laynee

Thank you Mike so much for a great and VERY helpful site. I appreciate the guidelines you are setting. I joined recently, enjoyed reading posts but stopped because there were things I didn't want to read/see. I'm going to go back to reading and participating in posts and see what happens. Thank you again for MFP and for making it a place we can all come to and enjoy!

age1389

I've been on here since last Oct. and adult content stuff was never a problem until recently. I don't know why it has to go "there" in order to have fun and laugh and to get away from life stresses. There's plenty of other things to talk about it. I agree with Mike if you have to go "there" there's plenty of other places to do it on the interent.
Thanks Mike.. Maybe we can get back to the original MFP:drinker:


-Adrienne

LokiFae

I think that as a community grows bigger, it is almost inevitable that we will all become more comfortable with each other. I personally have found some things people have said to be a little over the top and offensive, but I groan and ignore it and move on to something else. I haven't seen anything on the boards that's overtly offensive since the institution of the OT/PG-13 heading, because it has been contained to that. I think if you don't like reading the things that you KNOW are going to be posted in there, don't. I think everyone has done a great job censoring themselves in the common topics. Everybody on here has a great amount of respect for the MFP community, and I know they would never mean to offend anybody. All it took was someone bringing it up, so they knew about it. And it immediately changed.

And the development of cliques on MFP is by no means a new thing. There have been cliques on here since I started a few months ago. It's inevitable. But I have NEVER felt excluded from anything. Just because there are cliques doesn't mean anybody excludes anyone else from anything. I have always and continue to feel welcome and comfortable discussing the things that I feel I need to discuss. What makes this place so great is the openness. If we impose too many rules and regulations and start making accusations and disliking other members, then that's where it all goes down the toilet. If you have a problem with something someone said on the boards, or didn't like the way a certain topic was broached or hijacked, let them know about it. We've all seen that they won't be angry and will do what they can to correct it. That's what we ALL need to remember. Nobody's perfect, and everyone says things once in a while that offend somebody. If we just continue to be open with each other, there shouldn't be a problem.

soup78

Hey all.

Well, I have avoided voicing my opinion simply because the drama since last week has just been too much. And there were a few "opinions" shared that left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly those of a hypocritical nature. And those judgemental comments and the behavior that followed has caused quite a bit of hurt in someone I care about very much and who is probably one of the sweetest and most genuine people on MFP.

I know I am one of those that has posted some "risque" comments. Though my idea of risque is quite a bit less raunchy than some. However, that is what makes us all unique individuals and to each their own. With that said, I am definitely going to own up to my part of it and apologize if I have offended anyone at any time. Pretending I haven't done so, would make my a hypocrite wouldnt you say??

Something else I would like to say is that I know for a fact a lot of us are dealing with some pretty hectic and stressful lives. We have serious life issues to deal with in our "real" lives. To me, this is a place to come to get support, offer support, log my calories, log my exercise, provide helpful information that I come across to others, etc.

But it is also a place I come to escape the stresses of my life. I enjoy coming here for a laugh and sometimes shaking my head and groaning at something someone has said. But I always do it with a smile and it makes me feel a lot better. I think many of us view it that way. I mean, with my friend fighting for her life in the hospital, this has been one of the only things to keep my mind off it and allow me to laugh a little. To get a little silly and make some innuendos is not hurting anyone I think, especially if there is a "content warning" in the title. If someone chooses to enter anyway, well isn't that THEIR choice and thereby becomes their consequence if it offends them??

No, this isn't a site made to entertain but if one or two threads (with the proper labeling) is set up for that....then I really don't see the problem. Like I said, some things might be a bit more "adult" than I would post...but..whatever...to each their own. If those kind of things offend you, then just don't read that particular thread. That's just my opinion.

First and foremost...just remember that this site and the people on it are amazingly helpful and I will always treasure everyone here, especially with the long journey I have had and will continue to have. We all came here with a common goal (to be healthy). So, let's keep it lighthearted, no matter what.....ok??

to all!
-Tami

Well said, Tami.

PedalHound

Thanks for the time and the tact of addressing this Mike - you continue to rock!

I do agree that the line is a fine one but we should all keep it in kid-glove territory as much as possible. Thanks for your continued attention to our well-being :flowerforyou:

tamazinglee

I only read the threads that include a topic that I find an interest in. So, I personally have not come across any threads that are PG13 (or worse). However, I do agree with keeping these posts "clean". We are not hear to lose weight and/or maintain healthy lifestyles. If we need/want to talk "dirty" there are plenty of other places it can be done on the internet. Or send PM's to the person you want to converse with.

lessertess

Thanks Mike,

I agree, the hijackings and turns to adult content were taking us away from what this site was intended. It was also becoming somewhat exclusive and felt unfriendly.

Mike

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. I'm constantly in awe of what an amazing community we've created here at MFP - that there are such great, thoughtful people here who care about MFP and want to make it a better place.

P.S. - Like Jakie said.... don't boot me for giving my opinion please ohwell

First, let me say that I would never kick someone off the site for providing constructive feedback about MFP! I WANT to hear what everyone thinks, even if you disagree with me. If you don't feel comfortable posting your thoughts on the message boards, you can always send me a private message. But please, let me know if you disagree! Your thoughts help me make sure that the site is what you all want it to be.

I also want to emphasize that I think one of the most important aspects of MFP are the friendships that form here. Those friendships are the core of the support system that we all need. And being able to joke around with each other on the forums helps us create those bonds. I want to encourage those relationships to form, not take them away.

But I still believe that we can make friendships and have fun without having to alienate other members. I just don't believe that not being able to talk about adult content will keep us from having fun. I guess I disagree that we're creating the "no fun police". We may be creating the "no porn police", but they are not one and the same.

One solution I am considering is allowing members to create their own private forums. These will be forums where only members they select can see and post in. I am still trying to flesh out this idea, and unfortunately, it won't be ready for a while as it will take me some time to build . But something along those lines might allow people to joke around in whatever manner they wish while keeping that content away from the rest of the community.

Until then, though, I just don't see a lot of benefit to the site in allowing adult content posted on the forums where everyone can see, even with a warning label. There are lots of other ways we can joke around without having to risk offending other members.

mholmes

One solution I am considering is allowing members to create their own private forums. These will be forums where only members they select can see and post in. I am still trying to flesh out this idea, and unfortunately, it won't be ready for a while, as it will take me some time to build . But something along these lines might allow people to joke around in whatever manner they wish while keeping that content away from the rest of the community.

:drinker: **applause** You're wonderful. And as always I love your tact and abilty to see it and come at it all from both sides. *bowing*

Mike

One other thought - I've worked with a lot of message boards on the internet, and there is always a need for SOME type of rules and moderation. The key is to avoid OVER-moderating. Over-moderating can absolutely destroy a message board.

I think, though, that we are pretty far from that extreme here. I may have locked 4 or 5 posts in the past year, and deleted a handful more. Some appropriate level of moderation is essential to keeping a healthy community. I think we're just trying to find that line now, and this discussion is part of that.

soup78

One solution I am considering is allowing members to create their own private forums. These will be forums where only members they select can see and post in. I am still trying to flesh out this idea, and unfortunately, it won't be ready for a while, as it will take me some time to build . But something along these lines might allow people to joke around in whatever manner they wish while keeping that content away from the rest of the community.

:drinker: **applause** You're wonderful. And as always I love your tact and abilty to see it and come at it all from both sides. *bowing*

Here, here! :drinker: That would be fabulous Mike! Have I mentioned YOU ROCK lately?! :bigsmile:

jamdblake4

I guss I'll put in my 2c I can count my calories on a lot of sites but I came to MFP really beacuse of the post. I looked for the pg13 listing, it was funny it made my day, you can't plaese everyone all the time and an unholly person like myself, has a differnt sence of what's funny. It's been fun posting the last few weeks, I will stay off the post from here out and hopfully I will be aloud to count my calories in the future.
since this will be the last post from me I would like to thank you Mike for starting a really good web site.

p90x_Dude

Okay, I'm not a very nieve person but obviously I missed something somewhere.

Anyway thanks for a great site and a great bunch of people on their way to the best shape of their lives.

God bless

GoGetterMom

Hey all.

Well, I have avoided voicing my opinion simply because the drama since last week has just been too much. And there were a few "opinions" shared that left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly those of a hypocritical nature. And those judgemental comments and the behavior that followed has caused quite a bit of hurt in someone I care about very much and who is probably one of the sweetest and most genuine people on MFP.

I know I am one of those that has posted some "risque" comments. Though my idea of risque is quite a bit less raunchy than some. However, that is what makes us all unique individuals and to each their own. With that said, I am definitely going to own up to my part of it and apologize if I have offended anyone at any time. Pretending I haven't done so, would make my a hypocrite wouldnt you say??

Something else I would like to say is that I know for a fact a lot of us are dealing with some pretty hectic and stressful lives. We have serious life issues to deal with in our "real" lives. To me, this is a place to come to get support, offer support, log my calories, log my exercise, provide helpful information that I come across to others, etc.

But it is also a place I come to escape the stresses of my life. I enjoy coming here for a laugh and sometimes shaking my head and groaning at something someone has said. But I always do it with a smile and it makes me feel a lot better. I think many of us view it that way. I mean, with my friend fighting for her life in the hospital, this has been one of the only things to keep my mind off it and allow me to laugh a little. To get a little silly and make some innuendos is not hurting anyone I think, especially if there is a "content warning" in the title. If someone chooses to enter anyway, well isn't that THEIR choice and thereby becomes their consequence if it offends them??

No, this isn't a site made to entertain but if one or two threads (with the proper labeling) is set up for that....then I really don't see the problem. Like I said, some things might be a bit more "adult" than I would post...but..whatever...to each their own. If those kind of things offend you, then just don't read that particular thread. That's just my opinion.

First and foremost...just remember that this site and the people on it are amazingly helpful and I will always treasure everyone here, especially with the long journey I have had and will continue to have. We all came here with a common goal (to be healthy). So, let's keep it lighthearted, no matter what.....ok??

to all!
-Tami

Thanks Tam! I know I am in the same boat as Tam :ohwell: and thankfully have made some great funny friends here. If I offended anyone, I apologize - it would have never been intentional. I think that is true for all here at MFP. There was a special friend who was hurt over a non-OTPG13 topic this last week. I'm sure malice was intended, but none the less, it was heartbreaking. :sad: Am I mad at anyone - NO. It's not my place.

The thing with people is they are people - different backgrounds, adversities, weaknesses, strengths, different senses of humor, different political views and the list goes on and on and on.... What a great thing, but ONLY if individuals are allowed to be individuals. (Oh my, isn't that a major foundational principle in our country.)

There is, at this point, no specific area for OT-PG13 topics. There are some things outside of the topic of "sex calories" and "off color humor" that have been discussed. IMPORTANT THINGS! Things that need to be addressed. I think we have all seen things that offend - I doubt there is an exception to this. This is a place to help each other and help ourselves. It is a wonderful tool, but like Tam said - sometimes just getting entertained helps get our minds off the stressers in life.

I don't have a problem with OT-PG13 thread headers for "adult" content, but it certainly begs the question that if you limit things that eliminate stressers, are you helping or hurting?

Not to offend, but this is a free will situation. If you open a OT-PG13 topic and don't like what you see, there is no reason to go back into the thread. If you keep going in and then complaining, then what does that say? If you can have free will and freedom of topic and that helps you, then I say post it. There have been threads started that I completely disagree with, so I don't reply and therefore don't encourage. Grace is a great thing to have and give freely.

Life is too short to get in a huff and walk around angry and judgmental... Let's just enjoy one another, support one another and enjoy our weight loss journey....

TamTastic

Mike,

Thanks for everything you do! I think I have stated many times how appreciative I am.

You rock!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:

-Tami