MILITARY?!?

BananaBee3

What branch is he interested in joining? I'm in the US Coast Guard (almost a year now) and love it! Coasties may get deployed to a few locations overseas, but most units are either cutters (giong on various patrol lengths: anywhere from a few days to a few months) or land units where members typically work 2-3 days on then 2-3 days off. You also need to specifically request to go to the units overseas.

That must be a change, because my stepdad's in the CG and he spent a year in Bahrain and he definitely didn't request it lol.

Hmm...perhaps it is. The folks I know who have been interested in going to Bahrain have always had to request it through their detailer; I could be missing something though!

BrentGetsFit

What branch is he interested in joining? I'm in the US Coast Guard (almost a year now) and love it! Coasties may get deployed to a few locations overseas, but most units are either cutters (giong on various patrol lengths: anywhere from a few days to a few months) or land units where members typically work 2-3 days on then 2-3 days off. You also need to specifically request to go to the units overseas.

That must be a change, because my stepdad's in the CG and he spent a year in Bahrain and he definitely didn't request it lol.

Hmm...perhaps it is. The folks I know who have been interested in going to Bahrain have always had to request it through their detailer; I could be missing something though!

As a Coastie, here's how things are "supposed" to work with the detailer. You fill out your appropriately named "dream sheet" and it goes into the pool with everyone else. The detailer looks at who's asked for a particular billet and the person with the highest transfer priority gets it then he goes to the the next job and so on. Eventually the detailer gets to jobs that no one has asked for or he gets people who didn't get any jobs they wanted or who put down jobs they weren't qualified for and now essentially have blank dream sheets. These people get a phone call with a short list of crappy jobs. All that aside I DID ask for Bahrain a few years ago and didn't get it so go figure.

rundgrenfan

Good luck with whatever you two decide together. My husband is retired Army. It's not always easy to be "the spouse" but if you are an independent person and can make decisions while he is away, it will be okay. It is dangerous but there are lots of other dangerous jobs, too, so don't make decisions based just on that.

nikkijean8

Not sure if you're still checking the replies, but I thought I'd put in my two cents. Everything that has been said so far is ABSOLUTELY true. My husband and brother are both in the Air Force (in fact, I'm writing this from Korea where I'm visiting my hubby while he's on a 1-year assignment here). The only thing I wanted to add is - this CANNOT be an impulse decision, and you make sure that you are as well informed as possible. I know people sometimes get all excited about a new idea and jump in when they hear what they want to hear (not sure if that describes your hubby or not), and this is the last place you want to do that. Be wary of promises from recruiters that are not in writing. My brother enlisted when he was 25 and his life before that was a series of fast-food joint jobs. It has absolutely made him a better person, but he made sure that he was promised a given career (offered to him based on his ASVAB scores) in writing before he signed anything (or something to that effect - unfortunately, I don't know the details). If that is something that could happen for your husband, a point of advice from my brother would be to make sure he tries to go into a career field that translates back into civilian life easily. Don't rely only on your recruiter for info - I don't think they would lie to you, but their job is to get you to join, so some things get glossed over. If you can get on a base, the Airman and Family Readiness Center is a great resource for you as the spouse. Websites you can go to are miliaryonesource.com or google military spouse support websites (there are tons of them) and repost this question there.

I'll also just going to ditto what some of the other wives said. You can never fully prepare yourself mentally for a separation if you've never done it before, but you have to be really honest with yourself and your husband about that part of it. If you're going to secretly get resentful every time he leaves or has to work late (with no overtime, of course), things are not going to go well. I found that I did just fine with the separations until we had a child. It's much harder now, and much harder not to be resentful that I have to do "all" the work with our daughter. You just have to have a very healthy marriage with lots of open communication about things - military life will sometimes decimate an already weak marriage.

Last point, yes, my career has suffered (I'm a veterinarian) because of our time in the military, but that is something I accepted before I even had my degree - things are a little different for you since you didn't get your degree with this in mind. I seem to always be able to find work (even overseas - on base), even if its not quite what I had in mind. So, again, if that's going to cause a lot of resentment, then that's a discussion you two need to have.

Good luck - I have loved the Air Force for the most part, and certainly hated parts of it too, but I think its been good for my family overall. Just make sure your husband fully acknowledges the sacrifices you would have to make for him to join before he signs up.

sculley

We are both Navy.

Coming from a Military wife of a chief and also active duty for 12 years. I can only tell you to be supportive and if you are religious then pray. Trust me it never gets easier to say goodbye but your husband must make this decision for himself of course with you etc in mind. Try to talk to him about it. Be open good luck

kdet07

Not sure if you're still checking the replies, but I thought I'd put in my two cents. Everything that has been said so far is ABSOLUTELY true. My husband and brother are both in the Air Force (in fact, I'm writing this from Korea where I'm visiting my hubby while he's on a 1-year assignment here). The only thing I wanted to add is - this CANNOT be an impulse decision, and you make sure that you are as well informed as possible. I know people sometimes get all excited about a new idea and jump in when they hear what they want to hear (not sure if that describes your hubby or not), and this is the last place you want to do that. Be wary of promises from recruiters that are not in writing. My brother enlisted when he was 25 and his life before that was a series of fast-food joint jobs. It has absolutely made him a better person, but he made sure that he was promised a given career (offered to him based on his ASVAB scores) in writing before he signed anything (or something to that effect - unfortunately, I don't know the details). If that is something that could happen for your husband, a point of advice from my brother would be to make sure he tries to go into a career field that translates back into civilian life easily. Don't rely only on your recruiter for info - I don't think they would lie to you, but their job is to get you to join, so some things get glossed over. If you can get on a base, the Airman and Family Readiness Center is a great resource for you as the spouse. Websites you can go to are miliaryonesource.com or google military spouse support websites (there are tons of them) and repost this question there.

I'll also just going to ditto what some of the other wives said. You can never fully prepare yourself mentally for a separation if you've never done it before, but you have to be really honest with yourself and your husband about that part of it. If you're going to secretly get resentful every time he leaves or has to work late (with no overtime, of course), things are not going to go well. I found that I did just fine with the separations until we had a child. It's much harder now, and much harder not to be resentful that I have to do "all" the work with our daughter. You just have to have a very healthy marriage with lots of open communication about things - military life will sometimes decimate an already weak marriage.

Last point, yes, my career has suffered (I'm a veterinarian) because of our time in the military, but that is something I accepted before I even had my degree - things are a little different for you since you didn't get your degree with this in mind. I seem to always be able to find work (even overseas - on base), even if its not quite what I had in mind. So, again, if that's going to cause a lot of resentment, then that's a discussion you two need to have.

Good luck - I have loved the Air Force for the most part, and certainly hated parts of it too, but I think its been good for my family overall. Just make sure your husband fully acknowledges the sacrifices you would have to make for him to join before he signs up.

thanks ) everyone has been so awesome about this. today is the "I'm interested in hearing more" meeting and if he's still interested, we'll be going together to the next meeting. I kinda feel that if he'd expressed this serious interest before now that I would have done something different with my degree. I'm currently working (not with my degree) and one of his arguments FOR enlisting is the opportunities that would be available to both of us. he's excited, and planning for the future, and I'm just not convinced that the rosey-happy things he's talking about will outweigh the things I'll have to deal with. AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS YET! eeeek. either way, thank you so much for your advice. )

leighton1245

Not sure if you're still checking the replies, but I thought I'd put in my two cents. Everything that has been said so far is ABSOLUTELY true. My husband and brother are both in the Air Force (in fact, I'm writing this from Korea where I'm visiting my hubby while he's on a 1-year assignment here). The only thing I wanted to add is - this CANNOT be an impulse decision, and you make sure that you are as well informed as possible. I know people sometimes get all excited about a new idea and jump in when they hear what they want to hear (not sure if that describes your hubby or not), and this is the last place you want to do that. Be wary of promises from recruiters that are not in writing. My brother enlisted when he was 25 and his life before that was a series of fast-food joint jobs. It has absolutely made him a better person, but he made sure that he was promised a given career (offered to him based on his ASVAB scores) in writing before he signed anything (or something to that effect - unfortunately, I don't know the details). If that is something that could happen for your husband, a point of advice from my brother would be to make sure he tries to go into a career field that translates back into civilian life easily. Don't rely only on your recruiter for info - I don't think they would lie to you, but their job is to get you to join, so some things get glossed over. If you can get on a base, the Airman and Family Readiness Center is a great resource for you as the spouse. Websites you can go to are miliaryonesource.com or google military spouse support websites (there are tons of them) and repost this question there.

I'll also just going to ditto what some of the other wives said. You can never fully prepare yourself mentally for a separation if you've never done it before, but you have to be really honest with yourself and your husband about that part of it. If you're going to secretly get resentful every time he leaves or has to work late (with no overtime, of course), things are not going to go well. I found that I did just fine with the separations until we had a child. It's much harder now, and much harder not to be resentful that I have to do "all" the work with our daughter. You just have to have a very healthy marriage with lots of open communication about things - military life will sometimes decimate an already weak marriage.

Last point, yes, my career has suffered (I'm a veterinarian) because of our time in the military, but that is something I accepted before I even had my degree - things are a little different for you since you didn't get your degree with this in mind. I seem to always be able to find work (even overseas - on base), even if its not quite what I had in mind. So, again, if that's going to cause a lot of resentment, then that's a discussion you two need to have.

Good luck - I have loved the Air Force for the most part, and certainly hated parts of it too, but I think its been good for my family overall. Just make sure your husband fully acknowledges the sacrifices you would have to make for him to join before he signs up.

thanks ) everyone has been so awesome about this. today is the "I'm interested in hearing more" meeting and if he's still interested, we'll be going together to the next meeting. I kinda feel that if he'd expressed this serious interest before now that I would have done something different with my degree. I'm currently working (not with my degree) and one of his arguments FOR enlisting is the opportunities that would be available to both of us. he's excited, and planning for the future, and I'm just not convinced that the rosey-happy things he's talking about will outweigh the things I'll have to deal with. AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS YET! eeeek. either way, thank you so much for your advice. )

A huge plus if you guys do have kids and he is going active duty then they are free wont cost you a dime in a military hospital