i dont want my "real" friends to friend me on MFP!

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craft338
craft338 Posts: 870 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
i have a lot of MFP friends, and they're awesome :love: i feel like i can come on here and be myself and focus on dieting and say things that i wouldn't normally say in real life like "omg do you have any idea how many calories are in that?!?" without feeling like "one of those girls".

i feel like some of the stuff on here is stuff that i wouldn't want to share with certain people in real life, like my weight, TOM details, how often i go to the bathroom lol, or my rants about how annoying "real life" actually is! it's kinda nice coming on here and saying i hate my boss and getting outside oppinions....but not if my boss wants to be my friend on here!!

i do have a couple real friends on MFP that i'm cool with, but i have a few pending requests that i really don't want to accept :frown: i don't know how to NOT accept them without being rude, but if i accept them, then i feel like it would change my whole MFP personality and experience....

do u guys have this problem? or am i just being a brat and not sharing MFP with others? lol
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Replies

  • edenjoy3
    edenjoy3 Posts: 45
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    I feel the exact same way. This is my place to come and..."get away"..be a side of me that I cannot be with most people. At the end of the day...it needs to be about yourself once in a while. If you dont accept them as friends dont worry about it.
  • curlgirl_03
    curlgirl_03 Posts: 49
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    If you can't be yourself around your "real" friends then why are you all friends??
  • INSANITY43
    INSANITY43 Posts: 142
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    I have only a few friends on here...maybe 6? and only 2 that I know personally. I have FB for keeping up with my "real" friends .... and I like it that way. The only "real" friends I would accept on MFP would be those who I knew that I could absolutely trust to be honest and not prone to being offended about weight, sharing diaries, constructive criticism, etc....This is your journey....invite only those who will be of assistance and not hindrance! Good luck in your pursuit!
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    No, it doesnt bother me. I am always me and I am goofy where ever I go. LOL.
  • teelt13
    teelt13 Posts: 100 Member
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    It's like you're reading my mind. I don't have "real" friends on MFP either and I like it that way!
  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
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    I feel the same way ... most of my friends don't have this problem and never have. They just don't understand ... they know I am doing it, but for the most part, this is a journey I need to make on my own ... with the support of the AWESOME people on this site. It's funny, but it is so much easier to talk to someone who you never met, but has gone through the same things than it is to talk to someone you have known your. whole life
  • ukyo999
    ukyo999 Posts: 26
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    I agree with the poster above. This about you and what you need. The only obligation you have is to yourself.
    :smile:
  • SarahJaneDeschamp
    SarahJaneDeschamp Posts: 359 Member
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    i agree, as sad as it sounds, i come here and i can be me, i accept my weight problem, and im working through it, i feel like i dont have to pretend here x
  • nomorefatbitch
    nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
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    I hear ya.

    Even with my closest "real" friends, there are things that I just don't want to share. They don't know that if, given the chance, I might dive head first into a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes - and then beat myself up over it later.

    A lot of times, it isn't that I feel they aren't friends - but they don't walk the same walk I do. It's easier to come in here and share because many people here face the same (or similar) struggles. Even if they don't, they have their own struggles.

    JM2CW
  • fitnessjch
    fitnessjch Posts: 449 Member
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    I want to be completely anonymous on here - havent put my name on here or a photo. I wouldnt give my friends my account name, as I dont want any of them to be my friends on here for exactly the reasons you said.
  • poarche
    poarche Posts: 62 Member
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    don't worry about what anyone says....just do you. do what makes you happy and keeps you losing weight. period, point blank.
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
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    I like my anonymity, so whilst I have receommended this website to a few people I have not given them my user name etc....
  • blueocean52811
    blueocean52811 Posts: 83 Member
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    I have real friends on here and she is the one who told me about the site. IF you can't be the real you when with your friends then why are you friends with them? If they are real friends and are on the site to me that just makes things sooo much better, becasue you have the extra support in real life and you can go workout together and keep things healthy when you are all together!!
  • broadsword7
    broadsword7 Posts: 411 Member
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    You are not being a brat, you are just being comfortable with who you are. I am a believer in being who you are and, well, that's that. Life is way too short to live it and then have regrets...about anything! Be happy and keep on truckin. :smile:
  • AngelsKisses75
    AngelsKisses75 Posts: 595 Member
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    Okay ... just as a heads up ... people that are not your friend can read this. Just sayin'.

    I personally think that you need to do what you are comfortable doing. If you add people just to not hurt their feelings, and you are not able to be your self around them this can hinder you in a way that could make this process a tedious one. Not to mention turn this in to a Facebook thing.

    Me personally I have invited my friends and some have loved it, others won't try it, and a few just don't utilize the system.

    Best of wishes on this decision. :drinker:
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
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    If you can't be yourself around your "real" friends then why are you all friends??

    i have a few of my real friends on here that i'm cool with, but it's other people like co-workers and my cousin's girlfriend lol

    and it's not that i can't be myself around people, it's just that i don't like talking about calories and working out around people all the time, that's what MFP is for. i feel like my diet is a private thing that i really only need to share with my close friends and MFP....if that makes sense lol
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
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    I've recommended this site to friends, but so far am not "friends" with anyone from my personal life on here. I think I would have a hard time fully being myself on MFP if I knew my real life friends were watching my every move.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I dont really agree....personally I wouldnt comment and support "fake" friends...I consider everyone here my "real" friend ..why do you invest time in chatting and supporting people you dont even consider a friend? Sure we dont know eachother well or on personal basis but I do have people I have been chatting with over a year.....
  • sabrafox
    sabrafox Posts: 70 Member
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    Although my only MFP friend is also a good friend in real life, she's also one of those friends I can totally be myself around.

    If you don't feel comfortable adding those people, then you shouldn't.
  • allystone
    allystone Posts: 134 Member
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    I've recommended friend to this site but I am the same way, this is my little get away-where I can..do what I want say what I want without feeling embarresed-the only person i have on here that I know is my 18 year old brother-but he has lost 80 lbs..so he's my little motivator, other than that, I agree.

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