i dont want my "real" friends to friend me on MFP!

Options
24

Replies

  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    Options
    I had a few real friends on here in the beginning and still have 1 left. Personally, I feel I can be myself regardless. However, the real friends that I dropped from here was due to the fact they were not using the site for its intended purpose, never logging meals, never working out, etc. So they were dumped.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
    Options
    I agree with those who said if you can't let your guard down around them, they might not be "real" friends after all. :wink:

    That said, I'm an open book. I've been running a dating site and forum for 11 years, and many of my site members have become my good friends, so the lines my "real life" and "cyber life" have been smudged beyond recognition. I'm fully aware that anyone I know can find out anything I've said online, so I've developed an "If they don't like it, they shouldn't have read it" attitude.

    But I fully understand wanting to keep some things private. Especially if it's someone you're not terribly close with... sometimes it's easier to share things with strangers.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Options
    I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!

    You might bring up a story, or something a friend did, and here, you can speak about it freely. I get what you are saying and agree
  • symphonika
    symphonika Posts: 107 Member
    Options
    I think it just depends on the friend. I know most of my friends I can't really talk about the stuff I talk about on MFP, but I have found that a few are really supportive, and weight loss is something that has helped me bond with some of my "real" friends better.
  • littttlelaurra
    littttlelaurra Posts: 229 Member
    Options
    I use to feel that way that I wouldnt want my real life family or friends to see my mfp profile or comments and
    now I just dont care, I am me regardless in mfp and outside of it , I guess its my age now combined with a simple
    acceptance that my weight doesnt define who I am, as I will always be just me . I dont need anyones acceptance,
    permissions or approvals over my life and how I choose to live it. I wont tolerate any comdemnation of the way
    I choose to act or live my life either. I am a grown woman (grown up is entirely different lol). I know right from wrong.
    I know how to treat others and how I want to be treated and I will not let anyone make me feel less than or bad about
    myself. I am not going to hide or change for anyone. I will change for myself the things I see that I dont like or need changing.
    I figure if I hide the real me from anyone then how will I know if someone truly likes me for me. I dont expect a person to just
    love every single thing about me and they may find things they dont like but hopefully that being said they will like me enough
    to stick around and take all of me including the not so great parts of me too. If not then ... (flips birdy here lol) is all I am saying.
  • kalebsmama07
    kalebsmama07 Posts: 503
    Options
    i feel the same and most of real friends that live near me dont know i do this....so usually have nothing to worry about...but yeah i feel the same too
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    Options
    If you can't be yourself around your "real" friends then why are you all friends??

    i have a few of my real friends on here that i'm cool with, but it's other people like co-workers and my cousin's girlfriend lol

    and it's not that i can't be myself around people, it's just that i don't like talking about calories and working out around people all the time, that's what MFP is for. i feel like my diet is a private thing that i really only need to share with my close friends and MFP....if that makes sense lol
    it makes total sense. This is your journey and its up to you to address it how you like.
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    Options
    Sorry no opinion either way just a thought... Do you think any of your real friends would be upset if they read this?
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
    Options
    maybe the topic title is worded wrong lol i have a few REAL LIFE friends on here that i'm good with sharing all of my MFP and diet stuff with. i also have real MFP friends that i have a connection with and really care about their progress and how they're doing. no one on here is a fake friend, if there isn't any communication, then they probably get deleted.

    there are people in my life who i call "friends", like "oh yeah, that's my friend liz from work" but just because she's my "friend liz" that i work with and go out with every once in a while, doesn't mean she's my BFF and i want her to see before pics of me at 300 lbs in a sports bra or when i quit smoking and blogged about being constipated for a month lol.....yeah...not so much :)
  • AngieM76
    AngieM76 Posts: 622 Member
    Options
    I only have one "real" friend on here and its my best friend. She knows everything about me so I can be myself with her on here. The rest of my friends, I dont even think I would share this website with them because they do not have the same issues as me and none of them really need this place. But I am looking forward to getting to know people on here better that share my same struggles and are going through this with me and not standing on the sidelines not really understanding what I am going through.
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
    Options
    Sorry no opinion either way just a thought... Do you think any of your real friends would be upset if they read this?

    no, cuz i'm not saying anything bad.
  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
    Options
    Oh girl, I know exactly what you are saying. I have people watching every bite that I eat at work and it is really starting to get on my nerves. I tell people at the gym about MFP but I do not tell my friends, because most of them come and join and say for only a couple of weeks. Best wishes on your journey and your are doing fantastic!
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
    Options
    I can understand that. I have one really close friend in RL on here, but she is fighting the same battles I am, so it's stuff we have talked about personally before. But I can't think of anybody else I would share what I do on here with. It's easier to talk about private and embarrassing things here when it's to someone that you really don't know!! Do you have facebook? Friend them on there and tell them you would prefer to keep mfp for fitness, and facebook for socializing??
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    Options
    I would be really upset if I found out that one of my good friends was posting things like this on a social networking site. Especially one that allows you google all topics under the message boards for all to see. It would make me question what kind of friend am I that she's not comfortable enough with me to share this personal journey. Just sayin...

    Sounds like you have more "frenemies" sending requests than actual friends....
  • aranchmom
    aranchmom Posts: 176 Member
    Options
    No, it doesnt bother me. I am always me and I am goofy where ever I go. LOL.
    lol! I believe it! :laugh: You're always funny, too. :happy:
  • texakin20
    texakin20 Posts: 98 Member
    Options
    Yeah, I just do not go around telling friend, co workers etc my weight and my weight goals. This is my world to be honest and have some people fighting the same fight to help me. So.. I agree I would not want my real friends seeing even my start weight. LOL
  • breakingthecycle
    breakingthecycle Posts: 225 Member
    Options
    I have a couple of my 'real' friends as friends on MFP. They are the ones that told me about the site so I keep them close.

    I told a couple of people about MFP and when I saw that they werent committed I deleted them. I dont need a long friends list I need support and people that want to be here. I hope that there are no hard feelings but I take MFP and my healthy and weight loss very seriously and dont need real friends or MFP friends that dont also.
  • Mveler
    Mveler Posts: 274 Member
    Options
    Ok, forgive me, I am 38. Long past the caring what other people think, per-say.

    If they are your "real" friend, they would not judge you, help you through this journey and such.

    Also, if they are your "real" friend, why would you not feel comfortable saying :) Pardon my bluntness...

    I just farted, or darn I have been constipated for days..

    Yes I know, brazen but I am who I am and if you don't just LOVE me that way then why do I need you in my life?

    Tread carefully on caring what people think of you and making a divide between this life and real life because ultimately THIS is your life now and if you can't share that with them then why are they in your life?
  • curvygirl512
    curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    I don't have any RL friends here on MFP. I need to find the inner strength to overcome my weight loss alone. As Alice says, "I can slay the Jabberwalkie."

    Love to all my MFP pals. You are all a blessing.
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    Options
    It's like you're reading my mind. I don't have "real" friends on MFP either and I like it that way!

    Yup! Although it isn't like I am avoiding anyone. I just don't know anyone who is using MFP for weight loss.

Categories