weight loss and its effect on a relationship

l3ugjuice

For the males:

Women are, for all kinds of reasons that I could list off from parental examples to media to social compartamentalizing, insecure and emotionally needy. Not all women but I'd say 95% of us. Including me. I just can step back and look at myself and other women and see what's common.

Your wife is being completely irrational in her fears about where you are at night. But, like another poster, I too would wonder about what's going on. Which also tells me that communication and trust are faltering and if you're not careful, this little slippery slope of yours is going to turn into a landslide of resentment. She's scared. Very scared. I don't know what you're doing or not doing - but she's got something going on upstairs that's piling on and eventually, you're going to get blindsided with a massive melt-down... all because you're not talking about it.

Or more likely, SHE's not talking about it and YOU aren't asking the right questions to pull it out of her. I know, that's alot of responsibility to put on another human being but I never said we were rational. We can be, but typically not when we're feeling so ... vulnerable. Think back to the last time you looked at her like THAT.. you know... the one that says that she's the only woman in the world? When was the last time you made love - passionately, with the lights on and told her how much you adore her? (okay, don't answer that... just reflect on it! LOL) Took a walk, holding hands and just ... talked? About your dreams, fears, hopes and desires? When was the last time you were an in-love couple? I'm not saying you haven't done these things.. I'm saying think about it and if you haven't done any of them or better yet, all of them, in teh last month - you're slipping. You're missing her cues and hints. And for god's sake, if you have any female friends, DO NOT MENTION THEM FOR A MONTH!!! LOL

Now.. if only we really could regulate ourselves in such a way as to make you guys' jobs in dealing with us a bit more easy.... heh.

lol at " And for god's sake, if you have any female friends, DO NOT MENTION THEM FOR A MONTH!!! LOL"

because i do have two friends at work that I hang out with and both are ladies. I work closely with both and also socialize with at lunch, so their names come up often and when they do, my wife shuts right down; conversation is over. I tell my wife everything though, as I would never wish for her to think I am hiding something.

I get along great with both girls(they're close friends), and would love to involve them in socializing with my wife but my wife wants no part of it.

So let me get this straight...

you are going to work out for a couple hours a night, AFTER your wife goes to bed....and on top of that, you 'socialize' with women you work with? Dude...are you seriously this clueless? Really? Do you pay any attention at all?

Yeah, call me when you get served, I can help you find a good divorce lawyer. No, I'm not kidding...this is the road you are heading down. And yes, I'm being completely serious here. I'm not offering a moral opinion this, it is just where you are headed. If that's what you want, awesome. If not, I'd encourage you to be more proactive about nurturing your relationship with your wife....because what you are doing now is going to **** your marriage up beyond recognition.

muth3rluvx2

oh my, swenard....

I just looked at your profile pics... I can see why she's worried. Not to suggest you're engaging in any truly harmful behaviors, but I can completely see why she has the worst possible scenerios going through her head.

I try to stay off the pessimistic road, but I gotta' say that I don't totally disagree with the person above that puts your marriage seriously on the rocks, just based on that third photo. Yeah, I'm sure it was done all in innocent fun - but to anyone else - it looks pretty condemning. You gotta' step back and see things through her eyes; not yours. And, BEFORE you do something, not after.

lilac01

My bf really doesn't care because he's in great shape but he's told me not to lose anymore weight.