A Whole Lot of Haters!

deeharley

I think I know which thread you're talking about and if they got nasty it was after I read it. I saw a lot of concern for what looked unhealthy. And she seemed like she expected that - like she knew the photos COULD cause that reaction. She didn't seem to take it as hurtful and the responses to her responses were more positive.

fitaliciag

I would just like to say I am tired of multiple posts telling me what I should say or do. People need to learn to be adults. People need to learn that a person expressing their opinion is just that. Everything should be taken with a gran of salt. People need to learn that expressing a view contrary to theirs is not a personal attack.

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

like.

SarahofTwins

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

I sold those big girl pants! :laugh:

AngieM76

I am with you! I read the post you are referring too and because of my opinion, I chose not to say anything at all. I felt bad that she was happy with her results and then people were not so nice.

Losingitin2011

I'm with you.

There was a thread earlier that the OP deleted their account because of people being jerkoffs. I really wanted to post one last time on there calling them out as pathetic immature jerks, but that is a "personal attack" and would get me in trouble. Good to see that the people doing it never get in trouble for it. So sick of it.

binary_jester

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

I sold those big girl pants! :laugh:

+1...first post of the day to make me LOL

binary_jester

I'm with you.

There was a thread earlier that the OP deleted their account because of people being jerkoffs. I really wanted to post one last time on there calling them out as pathetic immature jerks, but that is a "personal attack" and would get me in trouble. Good to see that the people doing it never get in trouble for it. So sick of it.

You call it being jerkoff's. I call it making a point. Different POV's so it is nearly impossible to make everyone happy.

Thriceshy

I read the thread, and while some of the responses were quite blunt (and maybe not as kindly phrased as they could have been), I didn't see anything I would call "hatefu" or "mean." I, too, was taken aback at how thin the OP was, and would have said something, had others not, though I might have taken it to messaging. As someone who starved herself down to below 100 lbs as a teenager, I definitely feel concern when I see someone who has lost enough weight that bones protrude. I think that wanting to keep things supportive and kind is a fine goal, but I also think that expressing concern over someone's excessive weight loss is also a good thing. Perhaps the phrasing wasn't so good, but I think the intentions were good.

l3ugjuice

People need to hear opinions, sure...but this site (particularly the forums) are really set up to form a support system. As a general rule I'm all for brutal honesty on 'social' media (forums, etc)...but not in every circumstance. I can be downright nasty when discussing partisan political politics, for example, but I'm really not going to do that here as I just dont feel it's the proper venue for it. Everything in it's proper time and place & all that.

I have no idea what the OP is referring to, honestly. I dont recall reading a post where anyone was being downright rude and nasty (other than in one of the marathon Atkins GOOD! Atkins BAD! threads that spring up every day or so). Just saying in more of a general sense than a specific one. I'd rather be helpful and supportive here than, well...mean.

Losingitin2011

I'm with you.

There was a thread earlier that the OP deleted their account because of people being jerkoffs. I really wanted to post one last time on there calling them out as pathetic immature jerks, but that is a "personal attack" and would get me in trouble. Good to see that the people doing it never get in trouble for it. So sick of it.

You call it being jerkoff's. I call it making a point. Different POV's so it is nearly impossible to make everyone happy.

Mocking, insulting, and being nasty is making a point? I think there is a big difference between making an opinionated statement and just being nasty for the sake of being nasty.

anubis609

In a perfect [online] community, opinions would be respected and forthright. But since there's no such thing as perfection, interwebz logic will hold: If you're opinion doesn't match mine, you're obviously wrong.

Because

RhonndaJ

I read the thread myself and while there was bluntness I wouldn't say anything I read was nasty or hateful. People were just stating their impression and concern.

I really haven't seen anything particularly hateful or nasty in any thread I've read since I've been here, but I have read a fair number of over-reactions to things that have been said.

Now that all said, I kind of live by the Thumper rule unless someone asks me a direct question, then all bets are off.

randisaucier

Totally agree!! We are all here for the same reason ...... to be healthy. I just joined a few weeks ago and so far I am getting pretty turned off by the posts from members who feel their way of losing weight is the only way!

SarahofTwins

In a perfect [online] community, opinions would be respected and forthright. But since there's no such thing as perfection, interwebz logic will hold: If you're opinion doesn't match mine, you're obviously wrong.

Because

LMAO! Serioussss business :laugh: :laugh:

kacarter1017

I am!!

jpaw1002

I agree too! i mean if ur trying to help theres a right way and a wrong way to do it. kind of why lately i've been getting pissed at my bf. He wants to give me advice on stuff, but it feels like hes just nit picking every single thing i do to try n get back on track and stay on track. Hes a college football player so hes a bigger guy and knows about working out and stuff, but lately he complains about his weight and how he wants to loose some too, but doesnt really want to do anything to change it. Ive mentioned a few times about him joining this site and i thought it would help him out. But he didnt really want to hear it, and has constantly been nagging me at what im doing to change. I love him but some people are just like that....

Angel1066

I totally agree with you.

bmw4deb

I agree if you cant say anything nice say nothing, However reading
the post i saw no reply that was mean all just truthful. I did not reply
to the post because i could not be honest without insulting someone,
this site is for healthy life style changes and I refuse to say ""great job""
to someone who is obviously verging on anorexia.

fidgekitty

Now that I saw the thread in question, I think people were being blunt in stating their opinion but I didn't see anyone be outright mean. I saw a lot of "congrats on your success but you looked fabulous before!" or "I'm happy for you, because you're happy, but your health and weight is concerning"

I wouldn't say anyone was really "hating" on that topic, and to be fair, the OP knew what was going to come of it, self admittedly. Her photos were shocking and I honestly think she put them up to get a rise out of people. If you're going to set yourself up for criticism, don't be shocked when people give it too you.

FORKDOWN

I would just like to say I am tired of multiple posts telling me what I should say or do. People need to learn to be adults. People need to learn that a person expressing their opinion is just that. Everything should be taken with a gran of salt. People need to learn that expressing a view contrary to theirs is not a personal attack.

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

Nah, lets go no pants at all.


Nevermind, even more criticism would come.

VixFit2011

I'm definitely with you!

dls06

Although I am not familiar with the thread in question in my opinion there are several people on this site who are only here to start arguments and attack people. They don't post a pic of themselves, or even bother to fill out their profiles. They don;t appear to have any weight loss goals either.

Anyone else notice this? It seems to be getting worse...

I have. There are a couple of youngsters on here that must be taking a nutrition class or something. Really out there opinions but no weight loss post?

37mom

Hello MFP friends! I was reading a post that was supposed to be a success story and everyone rained on the girl's parade because they thought she was unhealthy. She wasn't asking for advice!

Let's revert back to childhood here...."If you don' t have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

Let's make a promise to be kind and considerate. In addition, if someone is asking for an opinion, express it in a way as not to hurt that person!

Stop being rude and stay positive!

I promise to keep my comments positive and if someone asks for advice, I promise to give it without expressing judgement.

Who's with me??

like

TonysMiss

I agree with if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all. I think there is such thing as constructive criticism but that should also be limited unless they are asking for it or if it is one of your MFP friends. People who think they know it all usually don't and people who are mean usually are just that........MEAN. I'm not a big poster because I don't care for the negativity and would rather keep my friends list to a smaller number and converse amongst them. I will usually post in a forum if I have a specific exercise or diet question to see what others are doing.
Everyone should just be nice! = ) If you can't relate to the post (ie: Eating disorders) then maybe you should just not say anything and let others than can relate or help in a constructive manner reply. It's a tough call.

Froggy1976

In a perfect [online] community, opinions would be respected and forthright. But since there's no such thing as perfection, interwebz logic will hold: If you're opinion doesn't match mine, you're obviously wrong.

Because

^^^This is funny! :laugh:

agingwithfitness

I find its just too easy for people online to say unkind things. I try to say to myself when writing online is this something I could show my mom? my adult kids? my grandkids?

I am careful with any advice and if I want to ask question or say something very personal I do it in a private message between me and that person only. That way if it is misunderstood or said wrong by accident only they have seen it.

Sometimes I think people use the internet as a place to vent built up frustrations in life.

lil_missfit

I agree to an extent. Some people on here can go a little bit to the extreme. Most are very helpful. I've also read post where you can tell people are being rude and hurtful and even some who purposely try and get threads locked. It's really unnecessary. I honestly don't think you have to intentionally be nasty to present a different point of view...rather you can just simply present your different point of view, respectfully and move on. I wouldn't say expressing your opinion is putting on big girl/boy pants bc in some instances stating such opinions is done in a childish way.....which kinda puts a person in training pants. However, in my opinion, if someone post a topic, as others have said, they should prepare for opposing views. If someone on this site seems to be compromising their health, then in my opinion, we should definitely extend our hand to help (with respect). Another person said maybe it would have been better to message the person. We can't pretend everything is warm, cute and fuzzy. Sometimes you do have to say things ppl don't want to hear or that will hurt then. Their life may depend on that. I just believe you can be more effective if you show respect through the way you say it:))

jmgj27

I would just like to say I am tired of multiple posts telling me what I should say or do. People need to learn to be adults. People need to learn that a person expressing their opinion is just that. Everything should be taken with a gran of salt. People need to learn that expressing a view contrary to theirs is not a personal attack.

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

This. An opinion is just that. An opinion. Anything that is just a personal attack is out of order for sure but otherwise, this is a public forum and people are perfectly at liberty to express their opinions. There are many I disagree with but I simply choose to ignore them and move on.

Losingitin2011

I would just like to say I am tired of multiple posts telling me what I should say or do. People need to learn to be adults. People need to learn that a person expressing their opinion is just that. Everything should be taken with a gran of salt. People need to learn that expressing a view contrary to theirs is not a personal attack.

People need to put their big boy/girl pants on.

This. An opinion is just that. An opinion. Anything that is just a personal attack is out of order for sure but otherwise, this is a public forum and people are perfectly at liberty to express their opinions. There are many I disagree with but I simply choose to ignore them and move on.

Perhaps those posts are also just expressing an opinion? Don't they have the same right as you do to express your opinion? It is all in how you view it.

Say I do a post where I say that I don't like pie because it is fattening and blah blah blah and I don't like that other people keep obsessing over it. Am I telling you not to eat it? No. I am saying that I don't like it and I don't like the obsession. It's all in perception.

lil_missfit

I find its just too easy for people online to say unkind things. I try to say to myself when writing online is this something I could show my mom? my adult kids? my grandkids?

I am careful with any advice and if I want to ask question or say something very personal I do it in a private message between me and that person only. That way if it is misunderstood or said wrong by accident only they have seen it.

Sometimes I think people use the internet as a place to vent built up frustrations in life.

I agree here. I think about how I tell my kids to treat others when they are outside playing. I am always telling them to be respectful to ppl. If my son doesn't agree w someone or if he doesn't like them he is still responsible to respect them PERIOD. When I am on the internet I hold myself to the same standard. It is at times very hard but I think I have maintained pretty well:))