I'm sure I'll get bashed for this, but..

es0torok

Why is it people who are over weight think they have struggled with weight control more than I have?

It's obvious they haven't. I've "struggled" daily for my entire life. They, on the other hand, have obviously not. They chose to ignore weight control and not bother with it. Now they are trying to take a short cut through all the years I walked away from the fried foods and baked good and still think THEY have been struggling longer than me!

Sure, I know you've had spells when you THOUGHT about weight control, and times when you may have even given it a meager attempt. But in the end, YOU skip out and enjoy all the good food and *I* keep on struggling to say no to it.

Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight. I've been working at this harder and longer than you ever will.
---

Edited to remove a redundancy not content.

GraceEMyers

Whats the point in comparing yourself to other people..... This is your own weight loss/ management journey and i dont think it is fair to judge others. You have obviously done really well by making the right choices in your life. Not everyone makes the same choices and thats what makes us human.

Try to be abit more accepting and focus on your own goals and not the goals of others. There are lots of reason why people are overweight, be it lazyness, over eating, mental and physical trauma or medically induced. You don't know everyones circumstances so it is best to just stay neutral and try to be kind to others.

Hope this helps you.

Schraudt814

I just feel kind of bad for you that you consider it a competition...that's really good for you that you've worked on staying healthy- seriously Bravo! I'm sorry you feel like you're discriminated against for not being overweight- but I don't think that being so defensive is a good way to look at this. MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals. Good for you and keep up the good work, but maybe to get encouragement, you should think about giving some?

purplepollypops

As previously stated it is not a competition so who really cares if you have or haven't struggled longer or less than me? I don't :laugh:

dls06

I just feel kind of bad for you that you consider it a competition...that's really good for you that you've worked on staying healthy- seriously Bravo! I'm sorry you feel like you're discriminated against for not being overweight- but I don't think that being so defensive is a good way to look at this. MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals. Good for you and keep up the good work, but maybe to get encouragement, you should think about giving some?

I agree.

RhonndaJ

You can't judge how much effort someone has put in to their struggle until you've walked in their shoes, the same as we can't judge how much effort you've put in. And I will tell you, that just because you were able to succeed in your struggle, and I failed in mine, doesn't make your struggle any more, or less, of value than mine.

dietfree2012

woooooahhhh!!!! I understand your feeling somewhat; we all have our own struggles. I think the problem is when one person feels that their struggle is harder than the others. Instead of debating that issue, we should use sites like this one to HELP each other with their struggle. Sometimes its hard for someone to understand your struggle because others are still trying to get to your size!! Its just one of those things. I need to lose 24 pounds and i hear from people EVERYDAY that im crazy and i dont need to lose. It usually comes from others that are a bigger size than me and i just talk to them and see why they think that and they usually inform me that they would love to be my size. My reply is to see if they want to workout with me; it doesnt make me angry it just lets me know that the person is having the same struggle as me: weight loss...talk about it and it usually gives you a different insight. Or at least look at it as a compliment :laugh: Its harder for others to practice self control so try not to be soooo hard on those that its harder for.

tjsusong

Whats the point in comparing yourself to other people..... This is your own weight loss/ management journey and i dont think it is fair to judge others. You have obviously done really well by making the right choices in your life. Not everyone makes the same choices and thats what makes us human.

Try to be abit more accepting and focus on your own goals and not the goals of others. There are lots of reason why people are overweight, be it lazyness, over eating, mental and physical trauma or medically induced. You don't know everyones circumstances so it is best to just stay neutral and try to be kind to others.

Hope this helps you.

You said it SO much nicer than I could have!!! You never know the struggles some people have been through in their life, so you should never judge!!! For reasons that I dont need to explain, I HAVE struggled with weight control my whole life, whether I was at a good weight or I was overweight. Bottom line... don't judge others because you dont know their struggle, just as I dont know yours.

sbwood888

Yeah. OK. Kudos to you. Who cares who has struggled longest??? Is there some kind of prize for the winner?? :huh:

OLP76

You're 53 years old...

I am very confused at the wordin' on this post???

What is your point? You're aimin' to be 112? and you think that's overweight? ????

Confused...! :grumble:

amberlee2011

I think that you should focus on your personal goals and not let other people's thoughts/opinions bother you. I know it's easier said than done, but it is necessary in weight loss, and in other areas of life.

I am overweight and yes it does bother me when someone who is 115 lbs comes to me and tells me how fat they are. I understand that everyone has body issues and that a lot of people will never be completely happy with how they look. For me, when someone who is close to being underweight tells me how big their thighs are, it makes me wonder if this struggle/journey is actually WORTH it. If I'm going to hate my body no matter what size I am, and that really scares me. I usually just try and smile and say I don't think you need to lose anymore weight or you look great, and then I spend the rest of they day in a funk thinking about the above.

Weight loss is difficult no matter if you want to lose 200 lbs or 10 lbs. I think if we were all a little bit more supportive and understanding, these feelings wouldn't exist, but the world just doesn't work that way. Good luck on your weight loss journey!

suziblues2000

Not sure I understand what you're sayin. How do you know how long I've been 'struggling'? Or anybody, for that matter?
I learned a long time ago it is not a good idea to put everybody in one big group. Try to look at the individual.

And who the heck cares how long a person's been 'struggling' anyway?!? As long as they're going in the right direction give them credit!

Good luck to you.

mocklin

Did someone on MFP say that you haven't struggled as much as them? It's interesting that your approached to feeling judged is to lump a group of people (who have never done anything to you) together and attack them for their meager attempts at weight loss. Everyone is fighting a battle, you don't know what's going on in their life. We are here to support each other. If someone said something that upset you, let us know, we'll support you. Try to refrain for the 'group attack' approach as it's not helpful. Good luck on your journey.

fuhrmeister

overweight people should not give you a hard time.

however, two wrongs don't make a right. You have no idea what other peoples struggles have been or why they are over weight. (nor do that know yours) I don't judge the 135 pound woman for wanting to weigh 125. And you shouldn't judge me b/c once upon a time I let my weight become 255. I don't blame anyone but myself and that's why i'm hear doing somthign about it.

Keep up the good work and stick to the friend on MFP they support nad inspire you.

tubbstattsyrup

This is a very good point and I understand what you mean.

ang16

Your post seemed full of anger... anger at yourself.... and rather than internalizing you are taking it out on others who are trying to lose weight.... Maybe dealing with those issues instead of directing it at those who are going through their own personal journeys, would be slightly more constructive.

People are overweight/underweight for a variety of different reasons and the choices that are made are based in personal experience, feelings and emotions. For someone to come in here and be dismissive, isn't very fair....

Deva1026

Opinions are like a@#holes.... everybody has one. So who cares what people say. This is not a competition here.
The underlying message in your post sounds like it goes much more deeper then just the weight loss prolbem.
Don't bash- give a little bit of support to get one back. That's what we do here on MFP. Best of luck!

es0torok

This is a very good point and I understand what you mean.

I was wondering if anyone would.

texastae1010

Wow everyone is being so nice and kind really…… YOU ARE WORKING HARDER AND LONGER THAN I EVER WILL REALLYY??????



Ok yeah I am sure that us “heavier” people wonder why you are worried about those last few pounds and yes kudos to you for being so healthy as to never let yourself get as heavy as one of us by not eating fried foods, baked goods, and whatever other goodies we are apparently just devouring and enjoying eating so very much to let us get so heavy. You are putting us into a stereotype of eating buckets of fried chicken and dozens of cookies all the time.

I am so happy that you feel so self-righteous to think that you are stronger and better than anyone that is heavier over 50lbs. You have no idea what someone that is heavy goes through walking and getting taunted, to be discriminated against, to feel that you are lazy, or the looks you get because you are eating something anything in public and you get those looks of why are eating that shouldn’t you be on a diet. So yes you have struggled so hard by avoiding all of those foods. Who are you to compare your struggles with people that you have no idea about? That is like comparing yourself to the struggles of a different economic demographic and saying that you understand their struggle and you have been fighting harder than they have even though you have a million dollars in the bank.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t be proud for not getting heavy and that you were able to bypass the bad food. I do not understand at all how you think that you have struggled longer or harder than anyone else here. How dare you judge anyone here or to think of yourself so highly I do not compare how I live and how I struggle with anyone else. How I got fat and the reasons behind it does not make me weaker than you and that is what you are implying that I have not struggled.
So for the people that you feel do not validate your struggles you just empowered them and made them correct by making yourself out to be the victim.

BigBoneSista

OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

I wish you the best in your efforts as well.

DanceYogaRun

Great response Desirai.

PS. You are looking HAWT!

Jellyphant

I find it hard to believe that weighing 124 is "A STRUGGLE."

SommerJo

First.... please don't take my response as a bashing. I promise it is not meant that way at all.

I think most people who are overweight feel that they've struggled longer/harder than someone who is not severely overweight for several reasons.

1. There is constant pressure on us from several directions to lose weight -- friends, family, dating, doctors, media, retail.....nearly every aspect of our lives reminds us in some way that we are overweight and would be more healthier, sexier, likeable, loveable, popular, active, prettier if we would just lose weight.

2. When you are overweight -- daily activities become more difficult -- more of a struggle. Walking, bending, standing, sitting, playing. Nearly every aspect of our lives comes with some kind of struggle.

3. Discrimination and abuse -- how many times have you been walking down the street and had a random car with random people yell obsenities at you -- just because of your weight? Have you ever felt you didn't get a job because of your weight?

4. Mental/Emotional health -- low self esteem, high self loathing, depression, anxiety, binging, purging, starving, control, helplessness, hopelessness, promiscuity.

It's rarely a matter of ignoring our weight issues as you stated. For myself -- it's something I think about every day. Somedays I feel motivated and push myself -- other days -- I feel like "what's the point" -- I'll never get there -- why try??

I don't think less of you because you've never had 50 lbs to lose -- but don't think less of me because I do. And I know men and women who fight and struggle to get their lives back -- harder and longer than you could ever imagine. Getting healthy thru diet and exercise is never a short cut!! Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to discount others simply because you've never faced the struggle that they do.

katschi

Comparison is the thief of joy. ~~ Dwight Edwards



I speak from personal experience. (the comparing myself to others)

Don't let this take up space in your head.
It's not worth it.
Do your program and don't worry about others.

Pitterpatter

WTH?!?!?

BeeElMarvin

I'm sorry that you feel so victimized...

LizC26

I get what the OP is saying...She isn't judging anyone, she is tired of being judged....She isn't saying it's a struggle or a bad life for her to be 124lbs, she is saying she has to work very hard, and think about her diet and exercise every single day to keep her weight under control & she deserves credit for that hard work....Of course, normally, all the credit goes to those people who lose like 100lbs....Well, if they didn't let their diet sprial out of control, they wouldn't have been in that situation to start with.

I absolutely hate when people think just because you are thin or look healthy that it is something that comes naturally... It's not---at least for me...If I don't watch myself, I'll gain like 40lbs easily, & I've fell off the wagon and did that before...But my losing the 40lbs I gained because of my lack of motivation isn't really any more need for celebration or compliments than the work it would have took to keep that 40lbs away!!!!

MiNiMoNkI

I feel this sentence "Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight. I've been working at this harder and longer than you ever will". is a slight contradiction to your post.

I somewhat agree, i didnt lose a massive amount of weight, i went from 140 to 117 yes it was hard, but you know what, whethe ri get credit for it off others doesnt really bother me, i know how tough it was, and i am proud of myself, after all i did it for me (and my man) not everyone else

chellekoren

Maybe you should be more clear as to who YOU are beating up or NOT beating up. Are you really intending to lump everyone on here as those who criticize you or are you trying to tell a personal anecdote as to something you have experienced. Because I for one have NEVER said my journey is harder than yours. My journey is my journey and it is unique to me and is hard TO ME. A specific incident in your vent would put everyone at ease and less hostile toward you, but you haven't backed up an inch on the intent of this post. You are flexing some real internet muscles here. I bet you would never say that to anyone's face.

melsinct

OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

I wish you the best in your efforts as well.

Very well said and I completely agree. We all have our own struggles with weight or we wouldn't be on MFP. Some have battled extra weight since childhood, some only for a few years. I applaud anyone who is making a true effort to get to a healthy weight, whether that encompasses losing 10 pounds or 300 pounds.

BeeElMarvin

OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

I wish you the best in your efforts as well.

Very well said and I completely agree. We all have our own struggles with weight or we wouldn't be on MFP. Some have battled extra weight since childhood, some only for a few years. I applaud anyone who is making a true effort to get to a healthy weight, whether that encompasses losing 10 pounds or 300 pounds.

Both of you, perfectly said...