I'm sure I'll get bashed for this, but..

Jellyphant

I find it hard to believe that weighing 124 is "A STRUGGLE."

SommerJo

First.... please don't take my response as a bashing. I promise it is not meant that way at all.

I think most people who are overweight feel that they've struggled longer/harder than someone who is not severely overweight for several reasons.

1. There is constant pressure on us from several directions to lose weight -- friends, family, dating, doctors, media, retail.....nearly every aspect of our lives reminds us in some way that we are overweight and would be more healthier, sexier, likeable, loveable, popular, active, prettier if we would just lose weight.

2. When you are overweight -- daily activities become more difficult -- more of a struggle. Walking, bending, standing, sitting, playing. Nearly every aspect of our lives comes with some kind of struggle.

3. Discrimination and abuse -- how many times have you been walking down the street and had a random car with random people yell obsenities at you -- just because of your weight? Have you ever felt you didn't get a job because of your weight?

4. Mental/Emotional health -- low self esteem, high self loathing, depression, anxiety, binging, purging, starving, control, helplessness, hopelessness, promiscuity.

It's rarely a matter of ignoring our weight issues as you stated. For myself -- it's something I think about every day. Somedays I feel motivated and push myself -- other days -- I feel like "what's the point" -- I'll never get there -- why try??

I don't think less of you because you've never had 50 lbs to lose -- but don't think less of me because I do. And I know men and women who fight and struggle to get their lives back -- harder and longer than you could ever imagine. Getting healthy thru diet and exercise is never a short cut!! Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to discount others simply because you've never faced the struggle that they do.

katschi

Comparison is the thief of joy. ~~ Dwight Edwards



I speak from personal experience. (the comparing myself to others)

Don't let this take up space in your head.
It's not worth it.
Do your program and don't worry about others.

Pitterpatter

WTH?!?!?

BeeElMarvin

I'm sorry that you feel so victimized...

LizC26

I get what the OP is saying...She isn't judging anyone, she is tired of being judged....She isn't saying it's a struggle or a bad life for her to be 124lbs, she is saying she has to work very hard, and think about her diet and exercise every single day to keep her weight under control & she deserves credit for that hard work....Of course, normally, all the credit goes to those people who lose like 100lbs....Well, if they didn't let their diet sprial out of control, they wouldn't have been in that situation to start with.

I absolutely hate when people think just because you are thin or look healthy that it is something that comes naturally... It's not---at least for me...If I don't watch myself, I'll gain like 40lbs easily, & I've fell off the wagon and did that before...But my losing the 40lbs I gained because of my lack of motivation isn't really any more need for celebration or compliments than the work it would have took to keep that 40lbs away!!!!

MiNiMoNkI

I feel this sentence "Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight. I've been working at this harder and longer than you ever will". is a slight contradiction to your post.

I somewhat agree, i didnt lose a massive amount of weight, i went from 140 to 117 yes it was hard, but you know what, whethe ri get credit for it off others doesnt really bother me, i know how tough it was, and i am proud of myself, after all i did it for me (and my man) not everyone else

chellekoren

Maybe you should be more clear as to who YOU are beating up or NOT beating up. Are you really intending to lump everyone on here as those who criticize you or are you trying to tell a personal anecdote as to something you have experienced. Because I for one have NEVER said my journey is harder than yours. My journey is my journey and it is unique to me and is hard TO ME. A specific incident in your vent would put everyone at ease and less hostile toward you, but you haven't backed up an inch on the intent of this post. You are flexing some real internet muscles here. I bet you would never say that to anyone's face.

melsinct

OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

I wish you the best in your efforts as well.

Very well said and I completely agree. We all have our own struggles with weight or we wouldn't be on MFP. Some have battled extra weight since childhood, some only for a few years. I applaud anyone who is making a true effort to get to a healthy weight, whether that encompasses losing 10 pounds or 300 pounds.

BeeElMarvin

OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

I wish you the best in your efforts as well.

Very well said and I completely agree. We all have our own struggles with weight or we wouldn't be on MFP. Some have battled extra weight since childhood, some only for a few years. I applaud anyone who is making a true effort to get to a healthy weight, whether that encompasses losing 10 pounds or 300 pounds.

Both of you, perfectly said...

myofibril

MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals.

I agree and that sounds good in practice. The idea that MFP is for everyone who wishes to achieve a weight or fitness related goal in a safe or healthy manner is very appealing.

However, in practice it doesn't always work that way. I have lost count of the times where negative assumptions have been made about slim people simply because of the way they look from being called skinny *****es, believing they have eating disorders, their weight loss goals are trivial, they don't struggle with their weight or my personal favourite that it's easy for them to lose weight because they have a fast metabolism (yeah, because busting your *kitten* in the gym and watching what you eat meticulously has nothing to do with it...)

I guess the old adage of "don't judge a book by its cover applies."

Everybody hurts....sometimes.

shelbyfrootcake

I find it hard to believe that weighing 124 is "A STRUGGLE."

The struggle isn't being that weight, it's maintaining it. Having the willpower to nip yourself in the bud when you're *only* 130lb so it doesn't go higher and bring the figure back down again.

chanstriste13

what got your panties in a wad? obviously, everyone on this site is here because they are struggling. duh. don't flatter yourself so much.

sbrown6

Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight.

WOW! Never thought I'd hear that one. :happy:

Monica_in_MO

I can tell you a couple of things that you have NOT struggled with.....compassion and empathy. If we would all just strive to be kind, I think that we will gain unbelievable perspective into the lives and struggles of our fellow human beings. Give it a go and you might find out that you don't have the wealth of knowledge you claim to have. : ) Enjoy your Monday!

ChantalGG

Unless you have struggled with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia then I am going to have to disagree, OP. It is different. And stop putting all over weight people in one category. I have been under weight to obese, yeah it is all a struggle either way try to find a medium.

shelbyfrootcake

This thread has had some wonderfully supportive and understanding replies; kudos to all those posters, I wish there were more people in the world like you.

There has also been some shocking displays of ropey armchair psychology.

Mairgheal

Had to read the OP twice before I actually got it. Weird.

Nothing to add that hasn't been said already by the rest.

Brandicaloriecountess

I think anytime you have to start a topic with "I'll probably get bashed, but" you know that you are going to say something rude and hurtful to others. I think it's sad that you feel judged and even more sad that your reaction to that is to judge others. Maybe you don't understand the emotional side of over eating but a lot of people do.

yanicka

In fact, I understand what you mean. When I see people who have alot of weight to lose, I can't help but think " at least they enjoyed themself!!! I can't remember last time I ate with pleasure and without counting the calories" but what we are doing is hard....it is hard for everyone. If it was not hard everyone would be healthy!!!! We all have our own road to travel.