Why are you fat?

LauraMarie37

I am fat because I have a skewed version of what I should look like. I grew up being told that there is no reason I should ever weigh more than 125lbs unless I was preggo. I spent the majority of the last 20 some odd years trying doing whatever I had to to get to that point and so I would diet/starve/exercise like crazy to a certain point then break down and give up because the results never came. At my lowest point I was a size 4-6 and weighed 132 lbs and still wasn't happy about it (I'm 5'9"). At one point I cried to my dog with ice cream in my hand that at least he would still love me- he doesn't care that I'm fat he's just a freakin' dog. I'm am now learning (with a LOT of help from MFP and a trainer that really cares this time) that maybe more than just a weight issue I am dealing with some body dysmorphic dysfunction.

...

So- I'm still struggling because I know I'll never be the "textbook" thin girl, and I'm also struggling because what I want isn't happening fast enough. I get very frustrated because of the amount of work I do and it seems everyone else around me looks awesome, pats me on the back, then goes on about the business of eating and drinking whatever they want and still looks awesome. It does take work for me as well as some blinders on to just keep on truckin' and not give up and start talking to the dog again.

That first and last part...exactly. I know everyone has their own set of struggles, but sometimes I feel it's so hard to be the tall girl, because your fat just takes up more room! I feel like a BMI of 25 is way more societally acceptable at 5’4“ than at 5’10“.

It's nice to hear someone else with the same struggles to try to fit into someone else'e cutout doll - then learning to accept and love their own silhouette!

justtodayjen333

. . . because I used food as entertainment, to celebrate, to de-stress after a hard day, to relax, to numb whatever emotion I was feeling because I didn't want to feel it. In the past, I have made food my life. . . but no more!

kr3851

I really love chocolate. It's that simple. When I give in to the craving, I eat a whole block (250g), rather than savouring one or two pieces.

I really love pasta. I would eat a whole bowlful and then go back for seconds.

Lots of our family get-togethers revolve around the dinner table - there are always lots of people and mountains of food.

So basically, it's indulging in rich, high calorie foods with no regard to portion size. And I associate food with happiness.

Now I'm working on all that....

MyouTakara

My problems started with my dad's taste in girlfriends. They were evil, plain and simple.

The first he had would purposefully make food she knew would make me ill as a punishment. She's the reason I can't stand the sight or smell of macaroni and cheese, boxed or homemade. We (my sister and I, my brother was somehow exempt from this) would get in trouble if we had so much as a speck of dirt on our clothing. I was an active but clumsy kid before he moved her in with us. I played in the woods with my brother, caught frogs in the pond, climbed (and fell out of) trees, jumped off the garden shed, played hide-and-seek in the junkyard, and generally did very active things that tended to get me very dirty. She'd blow a gasket and scream at me until I was too terrified to move a muscle.

My solution was to stay indoors and read, and never go outside to run around and play again. Although I couldn't win with that one either, because if we didn't play with her friend's bratty kids we still would get into trouble. We would sometimes be forced outside to play games like tag or basketball, games I didn't like because I was slow and never could handle a ballgame of any sort very well (I think my face is a ball magnet).

My only reprieve was weekends at my great-grandmother's. She was wonderful, and I loved her dearly. She let me decide what I wanted to eat and when I wanted to eat it. Really though, when kids deprived of delicious food all week are suddenly allowed to choose what they want, what will they pick? The most delicious, bad-for-them food they can think of, of course. She also discouraged exercise, but mostly because she lived near a road people tended to fly down and she was always afraid I would get hurt. I entertained myself inside.

Because of these behaviors, I gained weight. Let's face it, kids are cruel to the fat girl. She doesn't like PE class because everyone laughs when they have to run three laps and she is still on lap two when everyone else has finished, because nobody will pick her for any team, because she'll fall and get dirty and get into trouble again and nobody seems to get just HOW MUCH she'll get into.

For a long time freedom to me meant being able to chose not to exercise if I didn't want to, being able to eat only what I wanted when I wanted, and not giving a crap what anybody else thought.

Now I've learned that my behavior is affecting my health. I cannot let my father's mistakes destroy who I am and will be. I will go outside and run around and fall on my face and get dirty and not care because I'll be having a blast. I will not let the past rule me anymore. If people are going to laugh at me, I'm going to be laughing right along with them.

ai965

I gained weight because of many things. My friends and family said I was too skinny (back when I was 85 pounds) and I wanted to prove them wrong, I was scared of going outside alone (after someone started stalking me on my walks), and I told someone my darkest secret and they didn't believe me and wouldn't help me. Everything went downhill from there, and for a while I simply did not respect my body, and let it get fat and lazy. Now, I am reversing that, one step at a time.

Booboo78

I'm fat because I have a penchant for red wine......lots of it.

Regular drinker, now as good as teetotal. Went on a drink break for a month (this July) - my clothes started to feel a bit looser and cheekbones started to appear. Unfortunately, had a 'relapse' (friend's birthday), drunk lots of wine, guinness, whisky shots, champagne, and now I'm back to Square One - and that's only after ONE day of drinking. Inevitably, you do tend to eat more whilst consuming alcohol.

Back to the break now.

Also, I used to be able to eat and drink as much as I want in my 20s without putting on a single lb - as soon as I hit my 30s though, BAM!