venting on "male PIGS"

AwesomeSauce4

I just Have to vent!!! I know it's "Father's Day" and all but some men are just "PIGS" They don't even give you a second look when ya all out of shape, but as soon as they found out you starting to look a lil decent, oh... yea oh they all up in your business acting as if they are your bestest buddy.. Why is this????? Does anyone have an answer??? Please Help me understand this..

This is even for my husband: He was all the time checking girls out "Right in front of me" and now if I even get a compliment from a male It is as if I was "Sleeping" with him or something.. you know or does noone no:????? And dang I can't even go to the freaking Tanning bed without my husband tagging along anymore.. Crazy!!!!!

Come on Buddies, Give me some advice or opinions on these issues I am having.. "PLEASE"

{{Hugs}} Rachel

k2d4p

If it were me I would have a BIG problem with that. I get really irked by jealously. I have lost a bit as well and have also noticed that I have gotten attention that I have never gotten before. However, it just makes me smile. My husband is very proud of me and he gets happy when other guys notice me because he knows I don't take it seriously and that I come home to him.

JNick77

I don't know, if there's another woman I find attractive I'll look but I don't expect my wife to NOT look at other men either. I wish she would to be honest... Heck I won't go to a strip club because it really upsets her but she was invited to a bachelorette party two weeks ago, I told to have fun and bring some singles. Just cuz we're married doesn't mean we're dead, but it has to work both ways.

SiltyPigeon

That's called EVOLUTION. Healthier women are more likely to produce healthy offspring. That will never change.
Oh... and jealousy ensures that the offspring are HIS. Men tend to be more jealous because compared to eggs, sperm is cheap.

k2d4p

I don't know, if there's another woman I find attractive I'll look but I don't expect my wife to NOT look at other men either. I wish she would to be honest... Heck I won't go to a strip club because it really upsets her but she was invited to a bachelorette party two weeks ago, I told to have fun and bring some singles. Just cuz we're married doesn't mean we're dead, but it has to work both ways.

Funny you say this. When I see a really nice rack on TV, I almost always point it out to my husband. I even rewind the DVR if it goes to another screen. I agree, we are married, not blind.

bunchesonothing

He's jealous and he is finding you more attractive and he knows others will as well. He's feeling insecure and he probably doesn't know how to deal with it well. Guys pay attention now because, well, you're looking great. It's not just something that men do. Women do too.

Helice

Guys can be ****ish.

one of my fiances work college is terrible..
If he sees a girl he thinks is fit he says "mmm i want to put my penis in her".
and i know for a fact that if his girlfriend ever said "mmm i wish he'd put his penis in me", about another guy he'd go mental!

Im just thankful my fiance is a one woman girl ^-^

katschi

Do you ogle fat, out of shape men?

That_Girl

Too much drama.

Men like women who look good. This isn't new.

bunchesonothing

Also, I personally don't care if my hubby is checking out some other girl. He's coming home with me and certainly never turns me down. :P People look. It's human nature. Unless it's constant and he's not paying any attention to you, no use getting upset over human nature. When I catch my hubby looking(at other women), I smirk at him... because I caught him. He usually follows it up with a compliment to me. I don't need it, but it's nice. I also catch him randomly looking at me too. Maybe you will catch yours looking at you too...

Tiggerrick

Different men are attracted to different things. I don't like a woman to be skinny, if I can see every spinal process I am turned off. I like straight teeth, a sweet smile, and if she's a little curvy (a la Marilyn Monroe) I WILL oggle.... But outer beauty will only take me so far. If outer beauty was all that mattered, I'd still be married.

JThomas61

I think it goes for both sexes, they take their significant other for granted due to the stresses of life and start to look elsewhere thinking the grass might be greener. But when the significant other loses weight they see others noticing and act like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it.

It comes down to jealousy

Heather75

Oh. I thought this was going to be about farming.

Now that I'm here, though, it sounds like there is insecurity on both sides. Men haven't cornered the market on bad behavior, either.

I think you need to have a conversation when you are calm and tell him how you are feeling.

supertracylynn

I noticed the same thing when I dropped 40# during my husband's 6 month deployment.

Be careful.

That is my only advice.

Becca_007

Do you ogle fat, out of shape men?

^^ She's got a good point!!

It's not only men, women can be the very same way, it might not be so obvious but women look too!

I'm with k2d4p, smile and enjoy the attention, you worked hard to get to your fitness goals, you're naturally going to be more visible, fat people are invisible to many, once the weight is dropped POOF! No longer invisible.:laugh: :smokin:

d_llopez

That's jealousy for you. I've been there.
Men usually have roaming eyes. I think it's the fact that they like what they can't have.

Wordrioter

It sounds like your husband is feeling threatened or insecure as he watches his wife transforming before his eyes. Change is hard for everyone, especially if you have been significantly overweight for a long time. He knows he enjoys looking at other women, and now he is seeing others eyeing HIS wife - it probably scares him. He may be asking himself, "will she discard me once she discards all that weight?

Assuming you are otherwise happy with your mate, you might try sitting down with him and reassuring him that no matter what YOUR size, you want HIM and no one else!

PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

Helice

When I catch my hubby looking(at other women), I smirk at him...

wow i wish i could be like that.
I know if i ever saw my fiance looking at another girl when i was stood next to him i would instantly feel in-adequate.
Escpecially if i was with him and id spent ages trying to look nice. And he decided to check out another girl than me..
I guess im just uptite about this kind of thing...

AwesomeSauce4

I think it goes for both sexes, they take their significant other for granted due to the stresses of life and start to look elsewhere thinking the grass might be greener. But when the significant other loses weight they see others noticing and act like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it.

It comes down to jealousy

I love how you put it "acting like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it." that's exactly how I feel

bunchesonothing

PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

LOL! Awesome!

Helice

PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

I reckon they get it from spending so much time with humans..

AwesomeSauce4

It sounds like your husband is feeling threatened or insecure as he watches his wife transforming before his eyes. Change is hard for everyone, especially if you have been significantly overweight for a long time. He knows he enjoys looking at other women, and now he is seeing others eyeing HIS wife - it probably scares him. He may be asking himself, "will she discard me once she discards all that weight?

Assuming you are otherwise happy with your mate, you might try sitting down with him and reassuring him that no matter what YOUR size, you want HIM and no one else!

PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

I have tried to sit down with him, But He just don't listen !!!

Haha!! Didn't know that.. Guess I better come up with a new name then.. lol

bunchesonothing

I love how you put it "acting like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it." that's exactly how I feel

Unless he is normally a huge jerk and a spazz, though, I wouldn't word it this way to him. Criminalizing our spouses is one way to escalate a misunderstanding into a huge fight in about 3, 2, 1...

AwesomeSauce4

PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

I reckon they get it from spending so much time with humans..

Haha!!! Love it!!

916SAC

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

alex215

it goes both ways...when i was 300lbs i was the nice fat friend guy, but strictly friends and only friends nothing more... then 100lbs lost later girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day started to get all flirty and all of a sudden wanted my attention.

weird because i was the same nice guy when i was their fat friend, but i guess since i was in shape now it made it ok for these girls to want more than a friendship with me.

It just inst Men or Women... its human nature and maybe some media influence of what is attractive and what is not. the brutal truth is people can be shallow male or female.

AwesomeSauce4

I love how you put it "acting like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it." that's exactly how I feel

Unless he is normally a huge jerk and a spazz, though, I wouldn't word it this way to him. Criminalizing our spouses is one way to escalate a misunderstanding into a huge fight in about 3, 2, 1...

He is a good guy "most days" But he also has alot of insecurities.. He is healthy in weight in all but There is 12+ yr gap between us and I think this is alot to do with it.. I have been over weight for the last 11yrs, so yes this is very different to him.. But I was about 135lb when we got married 13yrs ago so he has been with me when I was thin.. I tell him He is my sabotager in weightloss cause he wants me to stay fat.. And he really does try to "sabotage" me... But this time he knows I am in it for the long haul this time..

Smittyinthesun2

Women have the same kind of issues as well, I'm a bigger guy and compared to the regular size guy I am the Super sized guy.

Whatever its a game I get it, but dont blame it all on the guys. When was the last time you saw a really hot woman with some chunky money dude, that wasn't paying for it, uber rich or a celebrity. This road goes both ways !

pyro13g

Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

AwesomeSauce4

it goes both ways...when i was 300lbs i was the nice fat friend guy, but strictly friends and only friends nothing more... then 100lbs lost later girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day started to get all flirty and all of a sudden wanted my attention.

weird because i was the same nice guy when i was their fat friend, but i guess since i was in shape now it made it ok for these girls to want more than a friendship with me.

It just inst Men or Women... its human nature and maybe some media influence of what is attractive and what is not. the brutal truth is people can be shallow male or female.

Very True!! I do beleive it goes both ways Male/female..

Thanks Buddies you all are awesome!!!!

reepobob

The most faithful guys' eyes wander and the most grounded, sef-assured guys get jealous...it's human nature. It's how we react to both that separates men from pigs. Let the man see what he wants to see, but don't let him sample! Let him be jealous, but also let him know you are going to do your thing no matter what. He either has to accept and deal or you will always have problems.

Accept us men for what we are, but set limits on what we do with what we are...if we acted any different we would either be gay or women...LOL!

I don't apologize for ogling...as long as I have eyes in my head and I have a pulse, I will check out a firm *kitten* or a nice set of twins. Sorry, it is what I am!