venting on "male PIGS"

AwesomeSauce4

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer

bunchesonothing

wow i wish i could be like that.
I know if i ever saw my fiance looking at another girl when i was stood next to him i would instantly feel in-adequate.
Escpecially if i was with him and id spent ages trying to look nice. And he decided to check out another girl than me..
I guess im just uptite about this kind of thing...

I think it's natural to have your response.

But, I also think that we don't always notice them ogling us. It's a wonderful ego boost to see your BF, GF or significant other staring at you. I think we often just blow it off because they are with us, or don't pay attention(we're too busy doing our daily activities when we're with our sig others) and we also tend to devalue ourselves. When someone else looks, it seems to give a lot of people an extra rush, because, it's new attention. It makes us feel good. If he loves you though, take the time to notice. I'm sure you'll catch him checking you out!

If I can tell that he wants to be with me, shows me interest and respects me... I don't care if he looks at a random girl he's never going to see again.

AwesomeSauce4

Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"

916SAC

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer

Maybe he needs 2 read the responses that you have received from people that you or he "really" don't know! If you are truly in love with each other, then looks "DO NOT" matter!
I could see if it was a matter of an health issue?

Becca_007

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer

What's the "proper answer" you're looking for?

Also curious if jealousy has always been an issue with you two or only since the weight drop?

AwesomeSauce4

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer

Maybe he needs 2 read the responses that you have received from people that you or he "really" don't know! If you are truly in love with each other, then looks "DO NOT" matter!
I could see if it was a matter of an health issue?

I might Just do that!!! and your right looks shouldn't matter!!!

pyro13g

Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"

Heed the signs. It's only going to get worse. Thinking you're cheating because you received a compliment. I have talked to many battered women that have said the same thing.

AwesomeSauce4

I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer

What's the "proper answer" you're looking for?

Also curious if jealousy has always been an issue with you two or only since the weight drop?

His answer is always "Whatever" And no this Jealousy issue is very new to me..w/ him

LorinaLynn

Here's the way I see it... If even I notice a good looking woman, how can I expect a guy not to?! I'll point them out to my husband.

I know there's women out there younger, prettier, sexier, cuter, curvier, leaner and hotter than me. But, for starters, I'm 100% confident in my husband's attraction to me... And more than that, I know that I'm ... well, MORE THAN THAT! A pretty woman is fun to look at, but she's not the one who loves him, makes him laugh, laughs at his jokes, cheers him up when he's down, cheers him on when he's up, understands and appreciates his quirks, brings him Sudafed when he has a cold, buys his favorite pretzels when grocery shopping, and is "mother" to his cats and dog. I'm the one who washes his dirty clothes, makes his lunch, and reminded him that the RedBox across the street now rents video games, and oh, look they have LA Noire!

Swimgoddess

That's called EVOLUTION. Healthier women are more likely to produce healthy offspring. That will never change.
Oh... and jealousy ensures that the offspring are HIS. Men tend to be more jealous because compared to eggs, sperm is cheap.

^^^THIS. You can download "It's Not You, It's Biology" by J. Quirk in iBooks that sums up many of the Evolutionary Psychology studies quite well. Female humans are the ONLY primates with a tapered waist. Natural & sex selection built us that way in order to exaggerate/"advertise" our bigger hips AND in conjunction with the smaller waist that we aren't currently knocked up (but we >could< be with a little horizontal effort *wink* *wink*) Bigger hips = capacity to birth bigger brained smarter babies. They've found women with lower WHR have children with higher IQs due to the long chain polyunsaturated acids found in hip fat. Men aren't being pigs... they're doing what comes naturally to ensure their gene's survival. Women can tsk tsk all they want but it boils down to survival of the species. No matter how evolved and "above it" we think we are, we are hardwired like any other animal. Your guy is more protective of you now because of what quoted poster summed up was "parental investment theory". Basically, since men don't actually give birth to their children themselves, there is no way for him to be sure the child you say is his is really his; yet he is still expected to provide resources to raise it. The best way for him to ensure that is by being proactively possessive. Oh, and women who are currently ovulating are WAY more likely to stray than they would normally otherwise. Your pheromones during this time not only attract every red-blooded male around like a big "*kitten* me now" sign, it tips off your partner too who will instinctively put up his guard and become more overprotective. The more you lose weight and accentuate your WHR, the more you're going to draw the attention of other guys who haven't had the privilege of knowing you for your wonderful personality and all those things that you expect your man to love you for at a constant regardless of what the scale says. He's just doing what comes naturally. Darwin would applaud him for it and so should you now that you can appreciate a little what's behind that pig-like ticking

coolsmartygirl

I've been more active around the house, cleaning and doing dishes and stuff whereas before it was a chore, I am even taking out the trash. Now that I am doing this, my boyfriend gave me around 10 compliments this morning about how great I am. Then I ask him to put chicken in the oven since he's home and I'm off in 30, he doesn't want to...

UGH!

BUT I agree with LorinaLynn. I do find myself saying things like "wow she's hot"

bunchesonothing

Here's the way I see it... If even I notice a good looking woman, how can I expect a guy not to?! I'll point them out to my husband.

I know there's women out there younger, prettier, sexier, cuter, curvier, leaner and hotter than me. But, for starters, I'm 100% confident in my husband's attraction to me... And more than that, I know that I'm ... well, MORE THAN THAT! A pretty woman is fun to look at, but she's not the one who loves him, makes him laugh, laughs at his jokes, cheers him up when he's down, cheers him on when he's up, understands and appreciates his quirks, brings him Sudafed when he has a cold, buys his favorite pretzels when grocery shopping, and is "mother" to his cats and dog. I'm the one who washes his dirty clothes, makes his lunch, and reminded him that the RedBox across the street now rents video games, and oh, look they have LA Noire!

Amen, sister!

rhodes2b

Some of my closest friends are male and they have taught me so many things through their "pig-like" perspective. Now I wont lump all men as pigs, but there a a few out there. Lucky for me, they accepted me as a buddy and not the sex kitten I am :bigsmile:

I wont go into any of the lessons I learned, but to sun it up--->some of them just can't help it.

Through my journey I have noticed a few extra men looking my way, but sometimes it is unfortunate that the one closest to you doesn't notice. My husband told me early on that he didn't think he was secure enough to handle this change... and he was right.

Life is a journey.... have a good ride while it lasts :smokin:

AwesomeSauce4

Here's the way I see it... If even I notice a good looking woman, how can I expect a guy not to?! I'll point them out to my husband.

I know there's women out there younger, prettier, sexier, cuter, curvier, leaner and hotter than me. But, for starters, I'm 100% confident in my husband's attraction to me... And more than that, I know that I'm ... well, MORE THAN THAT! A pretty woman is fun to look at, but she's not the one who loves him, makes him laugh, laughs at his jokes, cheers him up when he's down, cheers him on when he's up, understands and appreciates his quirks, brings him Sudafed when he has a cold, buys his favorite pretzels when grocery shopping, and is "mother" to his cats and dog. I'm the one who washes his dirty clothes, makes his lunch, and reminded him that the RedBox across the street now rents video games, and oh, look they have LA Noire!

So very true!! I never really minded him looking at other woman.. I always told him I didn't blame him Cause I was so unattractive to myself, so how could he even be attracted to me..

AwesomeSauce4

Some of my closest friends are male and they have taught me so many things through their "pig-like" perspective. Now I wont lump all men as pigs, but there a a few out there. Lucky for me, they accepted me as a buddy and not the sex kitten I am :bigsmile:

I wont go into any of the lessons I learned, but to sun it up--->some of them just can't help it.

Through my journey I have noticed a few extra men looking my way, but sometimes it is unfortunate that the one closest to you doesn't notice. My husband told me early on that he didn't think he was secure enough to handle this change... and he was right.

Life is a journey.... have a good ride while it lasts :smokin:

Thank you!!!
Love this: "Life is a journey.... have a good ride while it lasts"

samb

Haha I love this!

Here's the way I see it... If even I notice a good looking woman, how can I expect a guy not to?! I'll point them out to my husband.

I know there's women out there younger, prettier, sexier, cuter, curvier, leaner and hotter than me. But, for starters, I'm 100% confident in my husband's attraction to me... And more than that, I know that I'm ... well, MORE THAN THAT! A pretty woman is fun to look at, but she's not the one who loves him, makes him laugh, laughs at his jokes, cheers him up when he's down, cheers him on when he's up, understands and appreciates his quirks, brings him Sudafed when he has a cold, buys his favorite pretzels when grocery shopping, and is "mother" to his cats and dog. I'm the one who washes his dirty clothes, makes his lunch, and reminded him that the RedBox across the street now rents video games, and oh, look they have LA Noire!

Becca_007

Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"

Heed the signs. It's only going to get worse. Thinking you're cheating because you received a compliment. I have talked to many battered women that have said the same thing.

I second that, watch the signs, they are there, possessiveness is not pretty and some can take it quickly to a dangerous extreme!! Not saying your hubby is, only agreeing with the above poster in regards to jealously/Women that find themselves in abusive relationships.. :indifferent: :glasses:

FitFrenchGirl

I just Have to vent!!! I know it's "Father's Day" and all but some men are just "PIGS" They don't even give you a second look when ya all out of shape, but as soon as they found out you starting to look a lil decent, oh... yea oh they all up in your business acting as if they are your bestest buddy.. Why is this????? Does anyone have an answer??? Please Help me understand this..

This is even for my husband: He was all the time checking girls out "Right in front of me" and now if I even get a compliment from a male It is as if I was "Sleeping" with him or something.. you know or does noone no:????? And dang I can't even go to the freaking Tanning bed without my husband tagging along anymore.. Crazy!!!!!

Come on Buddies, Give me some advice or opinions on these issues I am having.. "PLEASE"

{{Hugs}} Rachel

I understand about the husband issue..were now not together but he never noticed me until i started to lose weight and go tan, i mean i was a decent girl before but once started to feel better about myself and my ex husband started saying all these rude things...i so understand were u are cming from........

Sunshine_Girlie

Maybe he's just insecure. Have you ever asked him why he does what he does? He may not even be aware of his actions. Communication is a key. MAKE him talk. Divorce shouldn't even be in your vocabulary. Maybe I have different concepts about marriage, but it's better to talk than to fork out money.

maryd4love

Do you ogle fat, out of shape men?

This made me laugh because NOone does to my knowledge.

registers

I just Have to vent!!! I know it's "Father's Day" and all but some men are just "PIGS" They don't even give you a second look when ya all out of shape, but as soon as they found out you starting to look a lil decent, oh... yea oh they all up in your business acting as if they are your bestest buddy.. Why is this????? Does anyone have an answer??? Please Help me understand this..

This is even for my husband: He was all the time checking girls out "Right in front of me" and now if I even get a compliment from a male It is as if I was "Sleeping" with him or something.. you know or does noone no:????? And dang I can't even go to the freaking Tanning bed without my husband tagging along anymore.. Crazy!!!!!

Come on Buddies, Give me some advice or opinions on these issues I am having.. "PLEASE"

{{Hugs}} Rachel

I do agree most men are like that. Think about it from a guys point of view. I just think most women are full of it. A lot of them do a lot of stupid things. They're always complaining, they want one thing one day another thing the next. My last 3 relationships.

1. This beautiful girl,I treated her right treated her good. Always listened to her, i cared for her very much she felt the same way... Next thing I know she's with someone else, of course i had to move on, 3yrs later she has a kid with a guy, and she wants me back......ya okay

2. This other one was really pretty too, she just seemed spoiled, always complaining and nagging. SHe was working one ight, i told her "ill bring you some food okay?" she said "what you making?" i said "shrimp scampi" she said "oh that sounds very good" i make it, and bring it to her... and she said "what did you make?" i said "shrimp scampi" she said "oh i don't like shrimp"

3rd one... she wasn't my girlfriend but i knew something was going on between us she was in my class. We got a long great always hanging out... I could tell she liked me... One i said "everyone thinks your my girlfriend" she said "why I am 20 your 28" it's like WTF? I just dropped it right there and then. In the middle of the semester she dropped out, haven't heard from her, no calls, no emails, no texts nothing...

Oh and another one, this one was really pretty too... she said she liked me, wanted to be with me. we got together... about 2 weeks later I told her "I onl are for you no one else, you're the girl i care about yous houldn't have any concerns" she was concerned about another girl or something. SHe said "i never wanted to be with you in the first place"
BUNCH OF WEIRDOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarahsmom1

When I was pregnate with our first child I went into the store to get his crib and mattress and when I came out a girl in a tennis skirt was getting out of her car short skirt underwear in her crack from sitting my husband had his eyes glued on her I hit the car he almost got whip lash. So I preceeded to tell him he could go blind looking at her he laughed and asked me how . I told him I'd poke his eyes out. It is fine any other time just not when your pregnant.

Goal_Seeker_1988

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

916SAC

So very true!! I never really minded him looking at other woman.. I always told him I didn't blame him Cause I was so unattractive to myself, so how could he even be attracted to me..

Well - there u have it :noway:

I think (in my own opinion) that you "both" need to really look deep inside of yourselves :indifferent: because "YOU" need to feel good about yourself before you can expect anyone else to??

Panda_Jack

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Men are jerks!

Maybe it would just be easier if you decided to switch teams..

GrampsWooha

Hmmmmm

Aesop101

Why the complaints on Father's day?

JNick77

Also, I personally don't care if my hubby is checking out some other girl. He's coming home with me and certainly never turns me down. :P People look. It's human nature. Unless it's constant and he's not paying any attention to you, no use getting upset over human nature. When I catch my hubby looking(at other women), I smirk at him... because I caught him. He usually follows it up with a compliment to me. I don't need it, but it's nice. I also catch him randomly looking at me too. Maybe you will catch yours looking at you too...

That's how I look at it, although I get turned down unfortunately...

Tiggerrick

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Men are jerks!

Maybe it would just be easier if you decided to switch teams..

Of course, Panda would want to watch :laugh:

bunchesonothing

Maybe your sig other is bogged down, stressed, tired... I am very attracted to my hubby, but if I'm bogged down, he might get a no, or it might seem like I'm not interested. Sometimes, I need to be removed from that state of mind.