Am I the only one?

cbratthauer

So I recently had somebody talk down to me because of this and I wondered if I am the only one who does this/ feels this way?

I genuinely enjoy taking care of my fiance because I know that he takes care of me, we just do it in different ways! I take care of the house, do the cleaning, the dishes (though he does do the dishes now and then when he knows I am too busy), do the laundry, and cook. I like to have a clean house and to be able to make him a hot meal when he gets home from work. On the other hand, he does the lawn work and the carpentry stuff on the house (we're remodeling a lot on our house). After we have kids, I want to be a stay at home mom so that I can take care of the kids and keep a clean house. I love being home and being able to cook healthy meals. When I was growing up, I didn't have that. My mom worked and we always had fast food for dinner. I have been independent most of my life, though, so I am starting an in-home bakery right now while I still have a day job in the hopes of it being pretty successful by the time we have kids and I quit my job. This way I will still be bringing an income into the house to help with everyday things. I don't, in any way, want to have to rely on my fiance financially.

Somebody the other day asked us what our plans were after marriage. After finding out I wanted to be a house wife they said some not so nice things and told me to look up what women went through to have rights in this country. I'm not saying all women should stay home and none of us should work, and since I want to do the in-home bakery I think I will still be working, just at home. So am I the only one that likes to do the housework and cook??? I don't feel like I'm degrading myself by doing this!

writtenINthestars

I would take the comments with a grain of salt. What you choose for you and your family is all that matters..~!

binary_jester

So I recently had somebody talk down to me because of this and I wondered if I am the only one who does this/ feels this way?

I genuinely enjoy taking care of my fiance because I know that he takes care of me, we just do it in different ways! I take care of the house, do the cleaning, the dishes (though he does do the dishes now and then when he knows I am too busy), do the laundry, and cook. I like to have a clean house and to be able to make him a hot meal when he gets home from work. On the other hand, he does the lawn work and the carpentry stuff on the house (we're remodeling a lot on our house). After we have kids, I want to be a stay at home mom so that I can take care of the kids and keep a clean house. I love being home and being able to cook healthy meals. When I was growing up, I didn't have that. My mom worked and we always had fast food for dinner. I have been independent most of my life, though, so I am starting an in-home bakery right now while I still have a day job in the hopes of it being pretty successful by the time we have kids and I quit my job. This way I will still be bringing an income into the house to help with everyday things. I don't, in any way, want to have to rely on my fiance financially.

Somebody the other day asked us what our plans were after marriage. After finding out I wanted to be a house wife they said some not so nice things and told me to look up what women went through to have rights in this country. I'm not saying all women should stay home and none of us should work, and since I want to do the in-home bakery I think I will still be working, just at home. So am I the only one that likes to do the housework and cook??? I don't feel like I'm degrading myself by doing this!

I am going to put this as nicely as I can. Why do you care what those people think? I would have shot back, You are right, I can make my own choice and staying at home is my choice. Ironically, your comments are doing more to suppress my rights with that pseudo-feminazi crap you are spewing. Who are you to judge?

Maybe you would want to state it a little nicer.

Heather75

Women wanted to have a CHOICE. You have that. Do what makes the two of your happy.

TromaRon

If it makes you happy, screw what other people think!

jbucci1186

I agree- who cares what they think. Do what you want! It's your choice.

sshap21712

Hey, whatever works for you. Just because you enjoy being a housewife doesn't negate all the progress women have made in society. What you do for yourself and your family has no impact on the world at large. There is nothing wrong with your choice, and the people that think so are a touch ignorant. Making a good home and family is just as hard a job as any out there. Do the best job you can and hold your head up high!

katheern

I for one am really happy my mom decided to be a stay at home mom to me and my sister. She could have gone back to work, but she chose to take care of us and I think it really helped us in many ways (developmentally and socially). There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom if that is what you want to do. I plan on not working for at least a year after I have children so I can be there for them during this important development stage.

sundancer1966

First, congradulations on your upcoming wedding! And don't let anybody put you down for your life decisions. You will see that people always have opinions, what matters is what makes you happy and what works in your relationship. Create the life you want, and what is best for your family.

Best wishes,

uberbusymomma

Wow, I would have gotten so mad at that person! I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years now and do not see why it would matter to anyone else. I don't feel that I am ignoring any of the rights I have been given. I still speak freely, drive, vote and our marriage is still a partnership. Every family has to decide on their own what is right for them, and no one should insult their decisions.

jenhenning219

i would love to have a home bakery too, is it expensive? let me know

ItsCasey

No, you are not the only one. I do not believe you have to choose one or the other (career or family) because my mother did both, and she kicked *kitten* at both. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and mother. I'm very proud of what I've accomplished professionally at such a young age, but I know when I am on my death bed, I want don't want to be thinking about what a great corporate executive I was. I wanting to be thinking that I was a great wife to my husband and a great mother to my children. We all have to decide what's most important to us. What other people think about it doesn't matter. At all.

As far as the women's rights stuff, that's what really annoys me about feminists. Women fought for the right to CHOOSE. That includes the right to choose to be a housewife or a stay-at-home mom. At the end of the day, it's no one else's business.

manda2j

Yes women have fought over the years for rights... rights to what though? To choose between home and a work place. Not every woman has to choose the work place. It is a choice. Just ignore those people that do not support you.. my fb friends list goes through cleansings a lot because of this... i will delete them if they don't support me!

MrsRobertson1005

I would love to be a stay at home mom, my mom stayed home with me and we are so close because we spent so much time together!

binary_jester

Am I the only one that thinks it's funny that some women look down at a stay at home mom?

LaurieEReid

Next time you can remind Mr./Ms None-of-his-business that you fully intend to keep voting, that your name is on the deed [if that's the case] and that part of what women have fought for over the past 100 years is the ability to choose the life you want. If that is a career, so be it. If it is managing a home, so be it.

My husband works out of the house (he's a writer) and it has been wonderful to have him there for the kids when they get home or are sick. Both boys came home for lunch for years and they have benefitted from that kind of full on parenting. Mommy is still the nurse/nurturer AND bringin' home the bacon.

Sorry for the mini rant but I am tired of people telling others that there is only one right way to live. That is soooo juvenile.

_Johanna_

I think your plan in life is absolutely amazing. You have the forethought to have a plan for what you want to do when you have kids, and....unlike me who is a working mom, you will NOT have the guilt of leaving your child with other people while you have to work. YOU will be there to teach them what they need to know and take care of them during the day. Be proud of that decision and thankful that you are financially able to make it. Women's rights should be exactly that - give you the ability to do what ever you want to do with your life and that is exactly what you are doing. Those who think a women MUST go out and get a job are just being foolish.

I am happy for you and wish you many happy healthy children and a successful bakery! You sound like a strong, independent woman, so don't let other's small mindedness get in your way as you will run into quite a bit of it

Heather75

Am I the only one that thinks it's funny that some women look down at a stay at home mom?

Nope. It's ridiculous. I suspect that some women would prefer to stay home, but can't afford to, so they pretend to feel superior.

sociable15

I'm a hardcore feminist. Radical to most. No if, ands or buts about it. Women's rights is a fight for our ability to govern our own lives and make our own decisions, not be forced into boxes dictated by other people. If you are able, with the support of your future husband, to stay home AND that's what you choose to do, do it. The importance is the CHOICE and, IMO, being forced by anything but finances to work when you don't want to is just as bad as being forced to stay home when you don't want to. I, personally, would go nuts. Seriously nuts. It's not a job I would take on myself and I have lots of respect for women or men who choose to stay home. More power to you. :-)

SLambertAlaska

What "all those women went through to have rights in our country" is what gives you a choice - you have every right to make that choice. It sounds as though this person was rude, and that makes me think they have their own "baggage."

I worked part time and then as a substitute trying to break into a teaching job until we had children. By the time the second was around I was going nuts trying to be the mom I wanted to be and work. I felt Very Lucky to have a choice - financially - and we chose for me to stay home. I have never regretted a single day of it (though there were certainly some tough ones). When my boys were older I went back to work (6th and 8th grade). A few times I have thought that might have been too soon, but it's working out ok.

good luck with your wedding, marriage and bakery!

RhonndaJ

While I am not, nor will I ever be, housewife material, I have heard this type of attitude and I don't understand it. Yes, people fought for women's rights and that was the right to choose what they wanted to do with their lives rather than being forced into a particular niche. You know how you want to live your life and you're in a position to do that and I think that's wonderful. It makes you no less, and no better, than any of the other choices women make, so don't let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.

I think anyone who might talk you down about your choices is someone who is probably angry that for whatever reason can't live their lives the way they'd like to, and so are taking it out on you.

La_Amazona

Women in the past HAD to, were forced to stay home and do the household thing. Now, we have the choice.

That's the beauty of it... ignorant comments are to be ignored. Period.

cbratthauer

i would love to have a home bakery too, is it expensive? let me know

It depends on exactly what you would want to do. Right now I'm starting out small, birthday cakes, cupcakes, homemade bread, bars, jam, etc. But I already have all of the equipment I needed because I already baked all of that stuff! If you don't have decorating tools, pans, etc. then it will be expensive to start but if you can get your name out and be successful you can make quite a bit of money doing it! I made over $100 last weekend and all I made was a pie, 2 loaves of rhubarb bread, and 2 dozen cupcakes. Plus I love to bake, so for me it's definitely worth it! Now all I need is a larger kitchen lol

abcerc

I am also a housewife and stay at home mom. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! When we first married, I worked at a very successful job- and we made really good money. We then had a child- and I had to work at that point financially. Dropping my child at daycare broke my heart every morning- and I decided that this was not going to happen for the rest of my baby's childhood. It never got easier for me. We decided to downsize, trade cars (eliminate car debt and drive paid for vehicles), and get rid of all debt. We managed to get it done by the time our little one turned 3. Our friends and family thought we were nuts (and some still do)- we went from a $120,000 yr income to $35,000 yr. Sure- we do with less, but we don't want for anything. I love my new role as a mommy and wife- and our marriage has never been better. It's nice to have a clean house and warm meal when my husband comes home. We are able to enjoy family time together, and not be stressed about what/ who we owe. I'm all about women having rights, but I also think that a lot of families are suffering right now because they've relied on 2 incomes, and "stuff" became what mattered. You do what you need to do, and don't worry about what other people think. I learned very quickly that it's not worth jepordizing my family to impress people I didn't know, or didn't even like. I will share some advice for in case you do decide to go back into the workforce- don't count on the income. If you make an income, count it as "gravy," but don't actually count on it to live on. That way, if you do decide to have children, you won't be in a position like I was where you are forced to work in order to meet the financial needs. In a few weeks, my little one will start kindergarten, and I'm going to homeschool! Imagine how weird my family thinks we are now. HAHA!!!

SaratogaNan

Hi!
It's no one's business how you choose to raise your children. Having been a stay at home mom while my children were small, I too had to put up with many "why aren't you working" questions but I wouldn't have traded that time for anything with my kids. I watched them learn to walk, say their first words, etc. It is the hardest job in the world so trying to do that and take care of little ones takes a lot from you! Good luck!
Nan

Schraudt814

Sometimes those high-and-mighty people forget that feminism is about CHOICE! I truly respect that you want to be a stay at home mom! Good for you! Just brush those haters off! :happy:

BlueEyedMomma88

So I recently had somebody talk down to me because of this and I wondered if I am the only one who does this/ feels this way?

I genuinely enjoy taking care of my fiance because I know that he takes care of me, we just do it in different ways! I take care of the house, do the cleaning, the dishes (though he does do the dishes now and then when he knows I am too busy), do the laundry, and cook. I like to have a clean house and to be able to make him a hot meal when he gets home from work. On the other hand, he does the lawn work and the carpentry stuff on the house (we're remodeling a lot on our house). After we have kids, I want to be a stay at home mom so that I can take care of the kids and keep a clean house. I love being home and being able to cook healthy meals. When I was growing up, I didn't have that. My mom worked and we always had fast food for dinner. I have been independent most of my life, though, so I am starting an in-home bakery right now while I still have a day job in the hopes of it being pretty successful by the time we have kids and I quit my job. This way I will still be bringing an income into the house to help with everyday things. I don't, in any way, want to have to rely on my fiance financially.

Somebody the other day asked us what our plans were after marriage. After finding out I wanted to be a house wife they said some not so nice things and told me to look up what women went through to have rights in this country. I'm not saying all women should stay home and none of us should work, and since I want to do the in-home bakery I think I will still be working, just at home. So am I the only one that likes to do the housework and cook??? I don't feel like I'm degrading myself by doing this!

Actually ever since I was little being a stay at home mom and wife WAS my dream job! It still is now, but I just havent found that right guy yet. I actually run a small in home daycare to make money and stay home with my kiddos. Yes a lot of people do think it is wrong because the husband is the only one who technically "works". But I think staying at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids IS work! Keep on doing what you're doing hun, and I wish u the best of luck! :flowerforyou:

cbratthauer

I am also a housewife and stay at home mom. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! When we first married, I worked at a very successful job- and we made really good money. We then had a child- and I had to work at that point financially. Dropping my child at daycare broke my heart every morning- and I decided that this was not going to happen for the rest of my baby's childhood. It never got easier for me. We decided to downsize, trade cars (eliminate car debt and drive paid for vehicles), and get rid of all debt. We managed to get it done by the time our little one turned 3. Our friends and family thought we were nuts (and some still do)- we went from a $120,000 yr income to $35,000 yr. Sure- we do with less, but we don't want for anything. I love my new role as a mommy and wife- and our marriage has never been better. It's nice to have a clean house and warm meal when my husband comes home. We are able to enjoy family time together, and not be stressed about what/ who we owe. I'm all about women having rights, but I also think that a lot of families are suffering right now because they've relied on 2 incomes, and "stuff" became what mattered. You do what you need to do, and don't worry about what other people think. I learned very quickly that it's not worth jepordizing my family to impress people I didn't know, or didn't even like. I will share some advice for in case you do decide to go back into the workforce- don't count on the income. If you make an income, count it as "gravy," but don't actually count on it to live on. That way, if you do decide to have children, you won't be in a position like I was where you are forced to work in order to meet the financial needs. In a few weeks, my little one will start kindergarten, and I'm going to homeschool! Imagine how weird my family thinks we are now. HAHA!!!

We actually plan to have 3-4 children of our own, and the adopt one. So in actuality, me being a stay at home mom makes more sense to us because of the cost of daycare! We figured if I did have a job we would be using that towards childcare. No thanks, I'd rather be the one to watch my children grow up. I love kids and knew I wanted kids since I was 15. But since it's important to me to also have some type of income, we sat down and discussed the possibilities of different things I could do out of the house. Since I love to bake and am good at it, we decided that would be something I could try to do. I'm starting small with what I have (which is actually quite a bit) that way if it doesn't work out, I didn't put thousands of dollars into it. I know once I get it up and going we will have to put some money into it, but it will be worth it in the end!

69mustang

Women wanted to have a CHOICE. You have that. Do what makes the two of your happy.

This!!

denisseBR

You are not he only one... by staying home does not belittle what women did in the past. When they did was their choice, what they thought was right for their time and situation. Thanks to those women now we can choose what we want to do, we now have the oportunity to decide what works for us, either to be a stay home mom, a housewife, or a working mom, or only a working woman, stay single or get married, whatever we want to do and be.
If your choices make you feel happy and fulfilled they have reached sucess!!!

kimmerroze

Those Feminists forget that, while womens rights is important(I FULLY support it) the movement also made it darn near impossible for those women who were completely content as a stay at home mom, to be able to stay home. Our economy is now majority based on the fact that both parents work in order to provide at a higher income for their families. A log time ago, our economy was based on just the mans income, there fore the price of good was cheaper and everything else. Now that mom and dad work, it has only made the price of things go up, because there is more income coming into the home.

So while I agree that women having rights is COMPLETELY important, it also screwed over lots of women who would have loved to stay home, but now with how expensive everything is, they are forced to work.

I also agree that women working out side of the home is not by any means the only factor in the rising markets, but it is a HUGE factor as to why the choice for women to stay home isn't as available as the choice to work is for women these days.

But to the OP.... I say screw them. If you want your children to be raised by you, and fed healthy meals by you, then PROPS to you, Children should be raised by their parents, not a daycare!