Am I the only one?

La_Amazona

Women in the past HAD to, were forced to stay home and do the household thing. Now, we have the choice.

That's the beauty of it... ignorant comments are to be ignored. Period.

cbratthauer

i would love to have a home bakery too, is it expensive? let me know

It depends on exactly what you would want to do. Right now I'm starting out small, birthday cakes, cupcakes, homemade bread, bars, jam, etc. But I already have all of the equipment I needed because I already baked all of that stuff! If you don't have decorating tools, pans, etc. then it will be expensive to start but if you can get your name out and be successful you can make quite a bit of money doing it! I made over $100 last weekend and all I made was a pie, 2 loaves of rhubarb bread, and 2 dozen cupcakes. Plus I love to bake, so for me it's definitely worth it! Now all I need is a larger kitchen lol

abcerc

I am also a housewife and stay at home mom. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! When we first married, I worked at a very successful job- and we made really good money. We then had a child- and I had to work at that point financially. Dropping my child at daycare broke my heart every morning- and I decided that this was not going to happen for the rest of my baby's childhood. It never got easier for me. We decided to downsize, trade cars (eliminate car debt and drive paid for vehicles), and get rid of all debt. We managed to get it done by the time our little one turned 3. Our friends and family thought we were nuts (and some still do)- we went from a $120,000 yr income to $35,000 yr. Sure- we do with less, but we don't want for anything. I love my new role as a mommy and wife- and our marriage has never been better. It's nice to have a clean house and warm meal when my husband comes home. We are able to enjoy family time together, and not be stressed about what/ who we owe. I'm all about women having rights, but I also think that a lot of families are suffering right now because they've relied on 2 incomes, and "stuff" became what mattered. You do what you need to do, and don't worry about what other people think. I learned very quickly that it's not worth jepordizing my family to impress people I didn't know, or didn't even like. I will share some advice for in case you do decide to go back into the workforce- don't count on the income. If you make an income, count it as "gravy," but don't actually count on it to live on. That way, if you do decide to have children, you won't be in a position like I was where you are forced to work in order to meet the financial needs. In a few weeks, my little one will start kindergarten, and I'm going to homeschool! Imagine how weird my family thinks we are now. HAHA!!!

SaratogaNan

Hi!
It's no one's business how you choose to raise your children. Having been a stay at home mom while my children were small, I too had to put up with many "why aren't you working" questions but I wouldn't have traded that time for anything with my kids. I watched them learn to walk, say their first words, etc. It is the hardest job in the world so trying to do that and take care of little ones takes a lot from you! Good luck!
Nan

Schraudt814

Sometimes those high-and-mighty people forget that feminism is about CHOICE! I truly respect that you want to be a stay at home mom! Good for you! Just brush those haters off! :happy:

BlueEyedMomma88

So I recently had somebody talk down to me because of this and I wondered if I am the only one who does this/ feels this way?

I genuinely enjoy taking care of my fiance because I know that he takes care of me, we just do it in different ways! I take care of the house, do the cleaning, the dishes (though he does do the dishes now and then when he knows I am too busy), do the laundry, and cook. I like to have a clean house and to be able to make him a hot meal when he gets home from work. On the other hand, he does the lawn work and the carpentry stuff on the house (we're remodeling a lot on our house). After we have kids, I want to be a stay at home mom so that I can take care of the kids and keep a clean house. I love being home and being able to cook healthy meals. When I was growing up, I didn't have that. My mom worked and we always had fast food for dinner. I have been independent most of my life, though, so I am starting an in-home bakery right now while I still have a day job in the hopes of it being pretty successful by the time we have kids and I quit my job. This way I will still be bringing an income into the house to help with everyday things. I don't, in any way, want to have to rely on my fiance financially.

Somebody the other day asked us what our plans were after marriage. After finding out I wanted to be a house wife they said some not so nice things and told me to look up what women went through to have rights in this country. I'm not saying all women should stay home and none of us should work, and since I want to do the in-home bakery I think I will still be working, just at home. So am I the only one that likes to do the housework and cook??? I don't feel like I'm degrading myself by doing this!

Actually ever since I was little being a stay at home mom and wife WAS my dream job! It still is now, but I just havent found that right guy yet. I actually run a small in home daycare to make money and stay home with my kiddos. Yes a lot of people do think it is wrong because the husband is the only one who technically "works". But I think staying at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids IS work! Keep on doing what you're doing hun, and I wish u the best of luck! :flowerforyou:

cbratthauer

I am also a housewife and stay at home mom. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! When we first married, I worked at a very successful job- and we made really good money. We then had a child- and I had to work at that point financially. Dropping my child at daycare broke my heart every morning- and I decided that this was not going to happen for the rest of my baby's childhood. It never got easier for me. We decided to downsize, trade cars (eliminate car debt and drive paid for vehicles), and get rid of all debt. We managed to get it done by the time our little one turned 3. Our friends and family thought we were nuts (and some still do)- we went from a $120,000 yr income to $35,000 yr. Sure- we do with less, but we don't want for anything. I love my new role as a mommy and wife- and our marriage has never been better. It's nice to have a clean house and warm meal when my husband comes home. We are able to enjoy family time together, and not be stressed about what/ who we owe. I'm all about women having rights, but I also think that a lot of families are suffering right now because they've relied on 2 incomes, and "stuff" became what mattered. You do what you need to do, and don't worry about what other people think. I learned very quickly that it's not worth jepordizing my family to impress people I didn't know, or didn't even like. I will share some advice for in case you do decide to go back into the workforce- don't count on the income. If you make an income, count it as "gravy," but don't actually count on it to live on. That way, if you do decide to have children, you won't be in a position like I was where you are forced to work in order to meet the financial needs. In a few weeks, my little one will start kindergarten, and I'm going to homeschool! Imagine how weird my family thinks we are now. HAHA!!!

We actually plan to have 3-4 children of our own, and the adopt one. So in actuality, me being a stay at home mom makes more sense to us because of the cost of daycare! We figured if I did have a job we would be using that towards childcare. No thanks, I'd rather be the one to watch my children grow up. I love kids and knew I wanted kids since I was 15. But since it's important to me to also have some type of income, we sat down and discussed the possibilities of different things I could do out of the house. Since I love to bake and am good at it, we decided that would be something I could try to do. I'm starting small with what I have (which is actually quite a bit) that way if it doesn't work out, I didn't put thousands of dollars into it. I know once I get it up and going we will have to put some money into it, but it will be worth it in the end!

69mustang

Women wanted to have a CHOICE. You have that. Do what makes the two of your happy.

This!!

denisseBR

You are not he only one... by staying home does not belittle what women did in the past. When they did was their choice, what they thought was right for their time and situation. Thanks to those women now we can choose what we want to do, we now have the oportunity to decide what works for us, either to be a stay home mom, a housewife, or a working mom, or only a working woman, stay single or get married, whatever we want to do and be.
If your choices make you feel happy and fulfilled they have reached sucess!!!

kimmerroze

Those Feminists forget that, while womens rights is important(I FULLY support it) the movement also made it darn near impossible for those women who were completely content as a stay at home mom, to be able to stay home. Our economy is now majority based on the fact that both parents work in order to provide at a higher income for their families. A log time ago, our economy was based on just the mans income, there fore the price of good was cheaper and everything else. Now that mom and dad work, it has only made the price of things go up, because there is more income coming into the home.

So while I agree that women having rights is COMPLETELY important, it also screwed over lots of women who would have loved to stay home, but now with how expensive everything is, they are forced to work.

I also agree that women working out side of the home is not by any means the only factor in the rising markets, but it is a HUGE factor as to why the choice for women to stay home isn't as available as the choice to work is for women these days.

But to the OP.... I say screw them. If you want your children to be raised by you, and fed healthy meals by you, then PROPS to you, Children should be raised by their parents, not a daycare!

shellshell43

So in actuality, me being a stay at home mom makes more sense to us because of the cost of daycare! We figured if I did have a job we would be using that towards childcare. No thanks, I'd rather be the one to watch my children grow up. I love kids and knew I wanted kids since I was 15. But since it's important to me to also have some type of income, we sat down and discussed the possibilities of different things I could do out of the house. Since I love to bake and am good at it, we decided that would be something I could try to do. I'm starting small with what I have (which is actually quite a bit) that way if it doesn't work out, I didn't put thousands of dollars into it. I know once I get it up and going we will have to put some money into it, but it will be worth it in the end!

We, my husband and I, decided early in our marriage that I would stay home while the kids were young so that we wouldn't have the extra cost of daycare...I decided when my first born was a year old that she could use a playmate and that's when I started to do daycare 21 years ago...my children are now 17 and 22 and I am still at home doing daycare. I am performing an important necessary job. I wouldn't change a thing about the past 21 years..I have spent some wonderful time with my children and have gotten to know and care for many other children. I do believe I made a difference in many people's lives and I did it at home being a house wife and mother...Do what feels right for you!

texasladysv

I did not read all the comments here, but I'm sure you are getting some good feedback on this comment~
I am a stay at home mom, and there is nothing wrong with thriving in that way... If that is what you love & you thrive in life by cleaning house & doing all those (what I call) "womanly" things! lol!!! I love cleaning, used to clean houses for others & get paid for it! I love the smell of a clean house any room... clean sheets, clean toilets, clean kitchen.... it all smells good, and that makes me feel good.... maybe I'm a little old fashioned, but I think it is wonderful.... not everyone is "cut out" to thrive in this way~

and with a home based business being your goal, & you thinking ahead for your children that is so awesome... You sound like you have a head on your shoulders, & got it together...

my advice is never let anyone make you feel down, even when they talk down to you...no one is better than anyone else... it is a personal choice, and your choice is YOURS! no one elses! If it works for you & your husband, that is what matters..... LOVE EVERY DAY! Find moments of joy in every day, & your life will be a great memory when your kids are grown... It doenst matter what anyone else thinks or says... especially when they are being negative~

Tinan76

I'm am a stay at home mom. I personally believe if you have kids that's the way it should be. Even now that kids are in school. I volunteer in their class chaperone their field trips. I've never missed a baseball practice, game or school program. I had kids because I loved them and wanted to raise them. Not pay someone else to do it for me. I here a lot of woman say they can't afford to stay home. I gave up a lot to raise my kids, like trips to the salon and shopping having a bigger home and new cars. I dont use credit cards. But I wouldnt have it any other way. My family is worth it. You only get one chance to raise them, and I wouldnt miss that for the world.

Rudeene

More power to you. If it makes you happy to be an at home mom with a home based business then go for it. Read Proverbs 31 for inspiration. Make sure you pay yourself and have your own nest egg. :bigsmile:

sschiano

Im still young but i also dream of being a housewife and working from home and like you when i tell people this they start yelling at me about feminism and how women have fought for years to be able to work. the thing is they fought for the CHOICE to work.

i recomend watching MONA LISA SMILE, amazing movie about this very topic

chelekaz

You definitely are not alone. If we could afford for me to not have to work I would so just be a stay at home mommy / housewife. As it is I am lucky that my company set me up with a home office so I do WORK from home while taking care of the kids. My husband and I share all of the house hold stuff... cleaning, cooking, yard work (well, not this summer as I broke my leg 3 months ago and still cannot really walk)... but .... IF I didn't have to work I would gladly be taking all that on me.

Yes, women fought for the right to CHOOSE what they wanted to do... and I see nothing wrong with choosing to be home to take care of your family!

Jenscan

But to the OP.... I say screw them. If you want your children to be raised by you, and fed healthy meals by you, then PROPS to you, Children should be raised by their parents, not a daycare!

My child is not raised by his daycare. I raise my child. Period. I absolutely hate it when people say stuff like this. I work because I am a single mother. Even if I weren't, I'd still work outside the home. Remember, I have the choice to do that too.

Unless you have a child, and have experience in this, do not say things like that.

JBRENTLINGER

Honestly, I wish I made enough money so my wife would not have to work. She is a 1st grade teacher and we have a 4 year old son. With inflation the way it is, it is almost impossible for a family to live in one income, unless one spouse makes over $80,000/yr.

My Mom stayed home with my siblings and I until we were 9. Then she got a job at the elementary school we went to. I think growing up, a child needs one parent at home, whether it be the Mom or Dad.

I would LOVE to be a stay at home Dad. I could get more down around the house!

california_peach

I am a stay at home mom and I get this crap ALL the time. I have had be stand in front of me slack jawed and murmur incomprehensively about my college degree and my intelligence and I should work....blah, blah, blah....

I have a job. I am raising two humans. I am in the business of making men. It is up to me and me alone to teach them to change the toilet paper roll and to put down the seat.

godroxmysox

I would love to stay home once we start having kids! It's a personal preference thing. It's not like you're his slave; you enjoy what you're doing and you want him to be happy. I say more power to you!