Swimsuit Pressure: Girls vs. Boys: Your Opinion

chanstriste13

i am no where near having what you would call a bikini body, but i recently purchased one to wear at the beach next week anyways. providing i don't chicken out, of course.

i came across an article discussing at what age and weight women should wear or not wear bikinis and it was pretty wild - the restrictions put on overweight women by themselves. the general consensus was that only the beach babe physique should be out in public displaying their near-perfect bellies - all other women, regardless of age, should cover up.

that got me wondering...

is there any type of social standard or expectation for overweight men saying they have to cover up their bellies with a t-shirt? men at the beach are generally 'topless' no matter what, and i see all shapes and sizes of men out wearing their trunks with no shirts on - incredibly hairy men, shaved men, buff men, scrawny men, overweight men...and they all seem to be completely in their element, and no one seems to think a thing about it.

why isn't it this way for women too? or are men just as self-conscious but able to hide it better? what do ya'll think?

ambie35

very interesting point. Although my boyfriend always wears his t-shirt at the beach. He has a very skinny torso (one of those odd concave ones- although I think its cute) and he is pale so he likes to keep covered.

cjjones007

I miss a tan on my torso from being outside, but I still keep covered up because I'm embarrassed by my looks... One of the goals I have in my mind is the time frame that I've lost enough weight to go outside in just a pair of shorts to mow, or to the pool with just a suit on lol
Nothing to do with age, for me it's all about the way I look

foxxybrown

I think men are just as self-conscious but only women get scrutinized for baring too much in public.

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jlewis2896

My husband is very self-conscious about his beach body. He used to refuse to wear shorts, even, because he hated his legs so much. I may be slightly biased, but he is smokin' hot, nothing to hide -- and he is more self-conscious than me.

I have never in my life worn a bikini, and I really never plan on it because that's just me -- hardcore prude. But I think that if someone is confident enough to wear one, go ahead. I might be grossed out by someone's rolls, but to each their own!!

I will say I don't like little girls in bikinis. Ummmm.... hi.... they have no boobs, what are you trying to cover with those tiny triangles?? Just let 'em go topless!! A bikini is definitely an article of clothing that accentuates sexuality and gender. This old-school gal doesn't approve of toddlers flaunting them.

Teeladog

Well...I think that in general, society is less judgmental of men being a little overweight. Not saying that there isn't judgment...just saying that there is a wider range of what is considered acceptable. I also think that women as a general rule are harder on themselves (and on other women) then men are.

Honestly, the only thing I can't stand is when men wear speedos to the beach. The number of men that can actually pull that off is VERY small and pretty much limited to the olympic swim team. The rule should be no speedos (or speedo-like suits) unless you are actually racing.

Solat37_Neil

Same here, very self conscious of my belly and try to avoid going shirtless at all costs.. Going to the local public pool has always been a nightmare, which is sad because I've recently started goin with my daughter and she loves it.

indigolafaye

From a personal point I don't mind who wears Bikini's on the beach I think who cares BUT I wouldn't like doing it, mostly because of a comment a guy made about me once. It doesn't help that due to my disability I am 'deformed' as well but still the comment put me off for life. HOWEVER my boyfriend has a belly on him and he would NEVER take his top off outside the house.

angryguy77

i don't wear a shirt, but I am self conscience about it. I only need to drop about 10 lbs but feel like I should be covered up.

stuiedaman

Hi, just started using this website. I have been using it on my phone but I never knew about the website!

As a sixteen year old boy, I HATE going to the pool. I can't tell you the last time I've gone to one. Whether its my family going, friends inviting me to go to public pools, or even pools they have at their own houses, I make an excuse and don't go. As a highschooler, there aren't many other kids who are even the slightest overweight. Everyones metabolism is at its peak while I can't eat a single wing without having to worry about calories. It sucks. If I were to ever go to a pool, all that would happen is I would be judged as the fat kid...

nylonadmiral

I think that women are harder on themselves and on each other than men are, in general. I also think that the standard of beauty in our country is ridiculous and near impossible to achieve. People should just be healthy, whatever their size.

. There are swimsuits that NO ONE should wear, in my opinion. (speedos for men, thongs for women)

27strange

I will attest to the fact that men are also self-conscious about the beach body. Maybe not to the full degree of women but its definitely there. Just because you see overweight, beer belly, hairy, scrawny, pale white, etc men all running around on the beach without their shirts on doesn't mean they aren't self-conscious about it. I think more would cover up if it was more acceptable and easier to do so, but honestly wearing a tshirt in the ocean just isnt pleasant plus it sticks to ya when wet making it just as uncomfortable as bearing the top half outright.

I do agree that society is less judgmental of the male beach body physique than the female. And females are scrutinized way more by both the same sex and opposite sex.

basschick

Reminds me of a cartoon I saw once...

http://s235.photobucket.com/albums/ee69/buxtehudeoma/CARTOONS/?action=view&current=cartoldbeach.jpg&sort=ascending


I can't speak for all men of course, but my man doesn't like to go around shirtless because he says he doesn't want anyone to see his gut and flabby chest.

superhippiechik

I was thinking the same thing the other day. I live in Tx. so there are a lot of other women who wear a bikini and dont care how large they are. I am envious of their confidence. But men,they always go topless and do not give their Moobies a single thought. We all should go topless and let the flab fly. But don't turn around too fast. I don't want to punch anyone with my long boobs! lol

SoCalSwimmerDude

I'm a guy and I'm def self-concious, but my wife (who has an amazing body) is more so. While us guys may be worried about it (some more than others), I think women have it worse. For instance, I decided to lose weight because I was becoming the typical "office guy"... you know the type... the type w/ love handles and 15-20 lbs of extra weight around the belly. However, a women at the same point of 15-20 lbs overweight would be seen as... well... overweight. So there is def a slight difference there.

NeedANewFocus

I wont speak for all men but I'll admit to having a very self-conscious attitude towards showing my body. I hate it actually. However, I've slowly learned to let that go as I get older so I can somewhat enjoy my time at the beach or pool. I still feel very self-conscious especially when I see guys that are buff and very well built. I feel women might share the same attitude.

becksini

I think that girls can wear a bikini at whatever age, but (I know this is going to sound sooooo wrong) I don't think they should at any weight. If someone overweight is wearing a bikini then I feel awkward standing next to them and I feel like they are embarrassed.... but that's just me! I definitely think its worse to see an overweight woman in a bikini then to see an overweight man in some trunks.

Bootzey

It doesn't matter for men. Men of all sizes walk around exposing themselves. But for ladies, we are too self conscious. Well, not all of us. But a lot of us. I have seen some pure foolishness on beaches

Hodar

As a general rule of thumb;
Women are overly critical of their bodies, they compare and contrast each other FAR HARSHER than any man. When it comes to trashing a woman in a bikini, no man can come close to being as critical as another woman. Don't take my word on it, just watch the Ms. America pagent during the swimsuit competition. The men sit and stare (drooling is optional) but the women tear every contestent to pieces.

Men, on the other hand - really don't care how we look in our swimsuits. If we like the way a woman looks in her swimsuit, we stare - if we don't; then we watch something else.

ilookthetype

King of Queens perfectly portrays America's attitude on men being over weight vs. women.

Big hefty guy, itty bitty little hot wife. and when she started gaining weight as the show went on a big deal was made about it.

I think we associate big guys with strong/protecting/safe and thus exceptions are made.

Women aren't supposed to be that way. Although, I remember being told as young as 8 that I have 'great birthing hips'.

I also think the way the weight sits on women vs men makes a difference. often men carry it in like a tight drum on their belly (looking a bit preggers) most women don't carry it that way. I kind of think that matters.

ilookthetype

King of Queens perfectly portrays America's attitude on men being over weight vs. women.

Big hefty guy, itty bitty little hot wife. and when she started gaining weight as the show went on a big deal was made about it.

I think we associate big guys with strong/protecting/safe and thus exceptions are made.

Women aren't supposed to be that way. Although, I remember being told as young as 8 that I have 'great birthing hips'.

I also think the way the weight sits on women vs men makes a difference. often men carry it in like a tight drum on their belly (looking a bit preggers) most women don't carry it that way. I kind of think that matters.

LorinaLynn

I think men - and I'm so jealous of this ability - realize they are what they are, and there's no use trying to camouflage it. They know they aren't defined by their bodies. They just accept it. Men rock.

chanstriste13

I think men are just as self-conscious but only women get scrutinized for baring too much in public.

well said! you've summed up my opinion in one sentence - thanks!

zeeeb

i will never wear a bikini again in this lifetime... sometimes i wonder how people can be comfortable in a bikini. sometimes less is more, especially as you get older. You don't have to show all your skin to look good. Sure when you are in your 20's, you've got it, flaunt it. But many people look so much hotter when they are suitably covered. Bikini's are just so impractical for people with big boobs, and with children, the risk of everything falling out while you are bending over and picking them up, it's just not practical.

I don't wear high heels, i don't wear ridiculously uncomfortable clothes and shoes (including bathing suits) because it's just not practical, and seriously, i don't care that much for looking hot, I'm happy to go for looking nice as opposed to looking hot (even if i had the body for looking hot).

o0IrishEyes0o

I too think men are just as self conscious. I know my SO will go out in a swimsuit, but he'll confide in me that he's really uncomfortable with it. And I think if he was single, he'd avoid situations where going without a shirt is a requirement. I guess since he's not on the market, he doesn't mind as much,

However, that being said, I do think the "margin of error" for women is smaller than for men. And I think it's self imposed by our own gender. There are so many catty women... and a lot of times, the more uncomfortable with their own bodies... the less tolerant they are of others who are comfortable in theirs... and they get snarky.

It's sad because I think women feel so much pressure to look perfect.... and I think 9 times out of 10 that pressure comes from other women... not the men in our lives.

Just my 2 cents

chanstriste13

i will never wear a bikini again in this lifetime... sometimes i wonder how people can be comfortable in a bikini. sometimes less is more, especially as you get older. You don't have to show all your skin to look good. Sure when you are in your 20's, you've got it, flaunt it. But many people look so much hotter when they are suitably covered. Bikini's are just so impractical for people with big boobs, and with children, the risk of everything falling out while you are bending over and picking them up, it's just not practical.

i know what you're saying, but my purpose for wearing a bikini is not to look hot! i know i don't look hot in a two piece.

but i have never known what it's like to have the water touch my stomach skin or really feel a breeze on my back. even when i was in high school, i wouldn't take my sister to the pool because i felt i was too fat to be there (and i was quite thin) and the idea of wearing a bikini would never have occured to me because of my low self esteem. we went to the bahamas on a band trip my junior year of high school and i wore jeans. *JEANS!!!* because somewhere along the way i listened to society and the media and the evil little voice in my head and decided i was fat. although i was the same size as my friends and could share clothes with them, i weighed 15 to 20 pounds more than them. i didn't understand the concept of different body makeups.

anyhoo, my body is larger and older, sure, but my mind is in a much healthier place, and if biggish-self concsious guys have enough grit to get out there and enjoy the sunshine, then i'm going to take suit and follow!

Lovelystrumpet

I'd love to wear a bikini, but it's a complete no no until my stomach is flat and my legs are slimmer- it's not that i judge other people for wearing one, if they don't look that like, I just judge myself. I'm glad for everyone who is confident enough to wear one whatever their shape, and hopefully soon I'll be in a place in my mind where I can do this too, but as it stands now, nothing except a 'perfect' body will be revealed by me. I don't even feel comfortable in a swimsuit, and I swear I put on pounds just looking at myself in swimwear.

Stupid thoughts, go away

christine24t

Even if I got super slim, I have enough stretch marks to cover two pregnant women's stomachs, lol, so that would never happen. I think it looks odd when women with stomachs wear bikinis. I have two friends that do, but it is because they both used to be very thin. I think people that used to be thin but are bigger now don't want to wear one pieces, even if they would look better in a one piece.

ArlVAMom

I have a slightly different perspective. I have fair skin and three of my good friends have had skin cancer. Because of that, I wear board shorts and a rash guard pretty much every time I go to the pool or beach. I love the freedom of not worrying that my gut is hanging out, but even more, I love knowing that I'm covered up and safe from the sun! I don't trust sunscreen and the FDA just came out with new regs saying that, for example, waterproof sunscreen is not really waterproof and anything over SPF 50 can't really be proven. I have two little girls and I think the clothing industry starts this gender stuff really young. For little boys, you can find nice long boardshorts and rash guards, while for little girls, it's bikinis and tiny little short shorts! Not even appropriate, not to mention offering no sun protection at all. But I searched high and low and my girls wear short or long sleeved rash guards and long - to the knee - shorts now! And they look adorable! And honestly in my opinion being covered up keeps you cooler in the hot sun! we lived in Hong Kong for a few years and being covered up seems much more common out there - everyone knows how damaging the sun can be- I saw the same thing in Australia. I've gotten my husband, who is also self conscious about his middle, wearing a rash guard as well and it's better all around!
As it is, I am curvy=large chested and have always had a hard time finding swimsuits that fit well.
So, turn the pressure around and protect yourself from the sun instead!
by the way ladies if you are looking for cute rash guards check out athleta.com and girls4sport.com. Awesome stuff.

LilRedRooster

it's mainly only a US issue with the whole "modesty" thing. everywhere else around the world the bodies of everybody, any size, are being flaunted and displayed.

I have to agree with that. My friends over in Croatia and Poland go to the beaches all the time. Most of them are nude beaches, though of course that's not required, and you see all sizes and shapes flaunting their stuff. They aren't ashamed, because they know that a body is a body, and there isn't anything to hide.

Bodies here in America are so scrutinized, especially women, that it makes people ashamed of what they've got, even when they don't necessarily have a reason to feel that way. I think men don't get it as much, because men aren't held to as high standards of superficial beauty that women are, but I know to an extent, men do feel pressure when they don't look "perfect".

Personally, I end up covered up a lot, but that's just because I've got marble skin, and end up burning in 10 minutes even with sunscreen. I'd love to be able to just go out and be in my swimsuit without worrying about it, since I actually like my swimsuit and how it looks, but.. Such is the life of a redhead with Scottish and Norwegian genes!