Swimsuit Pressure: Girls vs. Boys: Your Opinion

LorinaLynn

I think men - and I'm so jealous of this ability - realize they are what they are, and there's no use trying to camouflage it. They know they aren't defined by their bodies. They just accept it. Men rock.

chanstriste13

I think men are just as self-conscious but only women get scrutinized for baring too much in public.

well said! you've summed up my opinion in one sentence - thanks!

zeeeb

i will never wear a bikini again in this lifetime... sometimes i wonder how people can be comfortable in a bikini. sometimes less is more, especially as you get older. You don't have to show all your skin to look good. Sure when you are in your 20's, you've got it, flaunt it. But many people look so much hotter when they are suitably covered. Bikini's are just so impractical for people with big boobs, and with children, the risk of everything falling out while you are bending over and picking them up, it's just not practical.

I don't wear high heels, i don't wear ridiculously uncomfortable clothes and shoes (including bathing suits) because it's just not practical, and seriously, i don't care that much for looking hot, I'm happy to go for looking nice as opposed to looking hot (even if i had the body for looking hot).

o0IrishEyes0o

I too think men are just as self conscious. I know my SO will go out in a swimsuit, but he'll confide in me that he's really uncomfortable with it. And I think if he was single, he'd avoid situations where going without a shirt is a requirement. I guess since he's not on the market, he doesn't mind as much,

However, that being said, I do think the "margin of error" for women is smaller than for men. And I think it's self imposed by our own gender. There are so many catty women... and a lot of times, the more uncomfortable with their own bodies... the less tolerant they are of others who are comfortable in theirs... and they get snarky.

It's sad because I think women feel so much pressure to look perfect.... and I think 9 times out of 10 that pressure comes from other women... not the men in our lives.

Just my 2 cents

chanstriste13

i will never wear a bikini again in this lifetime... sometimes i wonder how people can be comfortable in a bikini. sometimes less is more, especially as you get older. You don't have to show all your skin to look good. Sure when you are in your 20's, you've got it, flaunt it. But many people look so much hotter when they are suitably covered. Bikini's are just so impractical for people with big boobs, and with children, the risk of everything falling out while you are bending over and picking them up, it's just not practical.

i know what you're saying, but my purpose for wearing a bikini is not to look hot! i know i don't look hot in a two piece.

but i have never known what it's like to have the water touch my stomach skin or really feel a breeze on my back. even when i was in high school, i wouldn't take my sister to the pool because i felt i was too fat to be there (and i was quite thin) and the idea of wearing a bikini would never have occured to me because of my low self esteem. we went to the bahamas on a band trip my junior year of high school and i wore jeans. *JEANS!!!* because somewhere along the way i listened to society and the media and the evil little voice in my head and decided i was fat. although i was the same size as my friends and could share clothes with them, i weighed 15 to 20 pounds more than them. i didn't understand the concept of different body makeups.

anyhoo, my body is larger and older, sure, but my mind is in a much healthier place, and if biggish-self concsious guys have enough grit to get out there and enjoy the sunshine, then i'm going to take suit and follow!

Lovelystrumpet

I'd love to wear a bikini, but it's a complete no no until my stomach is flat and my legs are slimmer- it's not that i judge other people for wearing one, if they don't look that like, I just judge myself. I'm glad for everyone who is confident enough to wear one whatever their shape, and hopefully soon I'll be in a place in my mind where I can do this too, but as it stands now, nothing except a 'perfect' body will be revealed by me. I don't even feel comfortable in a swimsuit, and I swear I put on pounds just looking at myself in swimwear.

Stupid thoughts, go away

christine24t

Even if I got super slim, I have enough stretch marks to cover two pregnant women's stomachs, lol, so that would never happen. I think it looks odd when women with stomachs wear bikinis. I have two friends that do, but it is because they both used to be very thin. I think people that used to be thin but are bigger now don't want to wear one pieces, even if they would look better in a one piece.

ArlVAMom

I have a slightly different perspective. I have fair skin and three of my good friends have had skin cancer. Because of that, I wear board shorts and a rash guard pretty much every time I go to the pool or beach. I love the freedom of not worrying that my gut is hanging out, but even more, I love knowing that I'm covered up and safe from the sun! I don't trust sunscreen and the FDA just came out with new regs saying that, for example, waterproof sunscreen is not really waterproof and anything over SPF 50 can't really be proven. I have two little girls and I think the clothing industry starts this gender stuff really young. For little boys, you can find nice long boardshorts and rash guards, while for little girls, it's bikinis and tiny little short shorts! Not even appropriate, not to mention offering no sun protection at all. But I searched high and low and my girls wear short or long sleeved rash guards and long - to the knee - shorts now! And they look adorable! And honestly in my opinion being covered up keeps you cooler in the hot sun! we lived in Hong Kong for a few years and being covered up seems much more common out there - everyone knows how damaging the sun can be- I saw the same thing in Australia. I've gotten my husband, who is also self conscious about his middle, wearing a rash guard as well and it's better all around!
As it is, I am curvy=large chested and have always had a hard time finding swimsuits that fit well.
So, turn the pressure around and protect yourself from the sun instead!
by the way ladies if you are looking for cute rash guards check out athleta.com and girls4sport.com. Awesome stuff.

LilRedRooster

it's mainly only a US issue with the whole "modesty" thing. everywhere else around the world the bodies of everybody, any size, are being flaunted and displayed.

I have to agree with that. My friends over in Croatia and Poland go to the beaches all the time. Most of them are nude beaches, though of course that's not required, and you see all sizes and shapes flaunting their stuff. They aren't ashamed, because they know that a body is a body, and there isn't anything to hide.

Bodies here in America are so scrutinized, especially women, that it makes people ashamed of what they've got, even when they don't necessarily have a reason to feel that way. I think men don't get it as much, because men aren't held to as high standards of superficial beauty that women are, but I know to an extent, men do feel pressure when they don't look "perfect".

Personally, I end up covered up a lot, but that's just because I've got marble skin, and end up burning in 10 minutes even with sunscreen. I'd love to be able to just go out and be in my swimsuit without worrying about it, since I actually like my swimsuit and how it looks, but.. Such is the life of a redhead with Scottish and Norwegian genes!

tladame

Interesting responses. My husband and I are both self-conscious of the way we look in swimwear, yet we think each other looks hot! Go figure.

I love going places like the Disney water parks in Florida, where there are a lot of Eurpoean visitors. You'll see lots of men and boys wearing speedos, and women of all sizes in bikinis, and NOBODY cares! It's the first time my husband felt comfortable enough to take his shirt off in public. So we donned our suits and strutted our respective stuff!

I will wear a 2-piece, but the bottoms need coverage. I love the boy shorts.

Frankenbarbie01

-but i have never known what it's like to have the water touch my stomach skin or really feel a breeze on my back.-
=(
That makes me sad!!
We just got back from mexico in Feb. I wore a bright yellow string number 2 pc!! At 189lbs and 5`7`, at 42 yrs old and felt like a Goddess!!! It was WELL outside my comfort zone but I am thrilled I did it and will never buy another 1 pc unless its for swimming laps.
NOBODY CARES!!!!
They are at the beach pool where ever to have fun themselves, not to scrutinize others. Adopt a more european attitude and relax, have fun and feel beautiful.

freerange

As a man, my answer is, there should be. I really don’t care to be bombarded by fat bellies hanging out all over the place, not to mention the rest of them, man or women, have some respect please. I don’t go without a t-shirt because I think it’s uncalled for. If you have the body that is one thing, if not, please cover it up. I have always said there should be a weight limit on spandex and swimsuits .

emilymiesel

I feel at times I shouldn't sport a bikini at 5'4 140lbs (maybe less I won't step on the scale)...I get little rolls depending how I sit but I learn to love what I got and just because someone is skinnier than me I shouldn't be self conscious. Because they are taller/shorter basically a totally different build than I am.

My husband tells me I am WAY critical of how I look. I see myself as chubby and he says skinny. I guess since I got my boobs done it makes me strive to have the "perfect" body to match my "perfect" boobs...

I think there should be a limit on women wearing string bikinis to a point...BUT at the same time if you feel hot then rock it! And don't let someone else take away your glow! I personally could care less what another person is wearing because it's them who has to walk around how they are (men and women).

Alison__

it's mainly only a US issue with the whole "modesty" thing. everywhere else around the world the bodies of everybody, any size, are being flaunted and displayed.

be proud of what you've got!

I live in Sweden, in Scandinavia, and I have to say that the problems exist here as well. I've never been in the US so I can't compare them, but we do have problems here as well; both girls, boys, women and men who hates going to the beach and to show their bodies in front of people. It's sad, it really is.

Elizabeth_C34

Men who go to Miami Beach down here have no problem with their huge hairy bellies hanging over their speedos. I, however, do. Just not attractive.

My husband is very pale and wears a Tshirt to protect his skin at the beach.

As for me, I am comfortable in an attractive one piece. I like to be able to move around and not worry about my top falling off or my butt hanging out. I also believe in modesty and find that most bikinis are more revealing than bras and panties. I don't find a teeny string bikini on anyone attractive.

Eskimopie

I think women are much more harshly judged and thus feel more pressure about bikinis. We aren't inherently more self-critical or more likely to tear other women down, we are raised in a society that tells us we are in constant competition with each other and we react accordingly. And anyone who says men shouldn't wear speedos has obviously never watched a swimming competition...

That said, the pressure on men to fit a muscular ideal is growing and maybe even match the pressure on women someday. It seems that as a society we are becoming more and more image obsessed.

I like to counter it by wearing a bikini and displaying all my blindingly white skin. For about ten minutes. Then I retreat under an umbrella and reapply sunscreen and cover myself up to avoid skin cancer.

cartern1

I went to the local swimming pool last weekend.

The first time I've used a public pool in 10 years all because I felt to self conscious.

After loosing around 29kg (64lbs) I decided that might be able to get away with it but I still felt awkward and self aware whilst walking from the changing room to the pool. I plan to go later this week if I can go thru the walk of shame again.

Nik

LorinaLynn

The way I look at it... everyone knows what bodies look like. Skinny bodies, fit bodies, chunky bodies, bigger than chunky bodies... we've seen them all. No one is going to see something they've never seen before. Wear what you feel good in.

If you're at the beach or a public pool, you gotta expect that not everyone there is going to be the next cover model for a fitness magazine. The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.

People who are shallow about someone overweight are going to be shallow whether you have a shirt on or not, whether you wear a 2-piece or a one piece with a skirt. You're not there for them.

And really, our bodies are just the vehicle to get us through life. We're all here because we want those vehicles to be in tiptop shape, but life doesn't begin and end with six pack abs. Enjoy yourself.

tmarie2715

Maybe it is just my narrow experience, but I think guys are self conscious of very different things. 6' tall, 175lb very in shape SO won't go shirtless when he runs several miles every AM OR to pool or beach because he has very pale skin. Guys who are too skinny also seem to be self-conscious of taking off their clothes on the beach.

Girls are always worried they are too fat, but I don't hear many complaints or people ragging on women for being too thin, too pale, etc.

LorinaLynn

I used to hear that I was too pale. And I say, "neener neener" to those people now, because I'm 39 and still get carded sometimes. :laugh: