Kids say the funniest things...

healthyjen342

This was done earlier this year..and I am in need of a good laugh...What's something funny your child/children/someone else's children/grandchild..ANY CHILD has said or done that made you laugh...

Here's two from my 5 y/o daughter:

1) She got in trouble once...I told her to stop crying and to put her big girl pants on...Five minutes later she came back and asked if these were better..she changed her jeans!

2) She ran into the kitchen one Sunday afternoon and said, "Momma! PLEASE FEEL MY HEAD" So I do..and I say, "You feel fine...Whats the matter?" She says, "Oh, I thought I had Beiber Fever."....

YOUR TURN!! LET'S HEAR EM!!!!!!

anubis609

When I was in 4th grade, a classmate of mine asked me how it felt to take piss through my forehead. I had to laugh at that one because it was astoundingly hilarious. :laugh:

godroxmysox

bump; for when i need a pick-me-up

kazcan

My three year old son was watching Disney channel he came rushing into the kitchen mum mum MUM!!! COME LOOK!!! there using pixi dust.....!!! and its NOT even an EMERGENCY.. he wasnt a happy bunny lol

crazymama2two

ill retell this one cause its cute.

my daughter when she was three was being a monster. i was so frustrated ijust said "WHY DONT YOU LISTEN??!!!" and she said, without skipping a beat, "but MOOOOMMMYYY, i WANNNNAAA listen..."

lsd007

My daughter is only 2, so her vocabulary is fairly limited. But her big thing right now is she will do something bad (pour yogurt on the floor, take dishes out of the cabinets, climb on kitchen table, etc.) and when I look at her she will say "Yes Mommy. I serious."

MissAnjy

the other day I had my 2 year old twins in Pita Pit with me. I had one of them sitting on the counter while I told the lady what toppings I wanted on my pita. Her first question was "white or whole wheat" to which I responded "white". My son says "Mommy, you're white?" and I said "No hunny, I got a white Pita, but yes, I am white" and he smiles, points to himself and says "I'm white too"

I laughed.

Crooks0204

I remember once when my son was younger I pulled up to the teller window at the bank and he said (very seriously) mama i want a cheeseburger and fries...i thought it was soo funny

GorillaNJ

My youngest (6 year old) is a gold mine of funny things.

At the beach fishing the other day he tells me he has to pee. So I told him to just go in the water. he walks in up to his knees, pulls down his pants and pisses. LOL

I put on here the other day too... his fathers day card from school to me was a top ten list of why I am a great dad. #8 I am badass.


He does like to curse... so the other day I joking made a remark, no more eminem for him... he busted out crying. he thought I cut off his M&M supply!

HealthierIn2011

My 5 year old is quite a little comedian but this is one of my favorites!

A few years ago my son and I were at a stop light and someone honked at another car. He said "did you hear that mom? Someone just honked at that dumba**!" I about died!

mollygirl61

That was really cute.

My grandaughter when she was about 5 yrs old said when her mom to her to Mr. Sub. She said I want a sub with lettuce, tomatoe, pickles and cheese. Oh yeah and a 6 pack of beer for my dad. LMFAO.

I still laugh about it today. so cute
:flowerforyou:

nmescalera

OK well this was probably like a year or so ago..... My daughter ended up getting gum in her hair so as im sitting with the peanut butter trying to comb it she starts saying that it hurts and that im pulling her hair... I then said to her well if you didnt get gum in your hair that i wouldnt be doing what im going then she said

"Its not the gum that hurts its you!!!"

HappyathomeMN

My twins to each other one morning:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Dragon - rrrraaawwwwwwrr

Both falling down laughing only to do it again with the other twin starting first. This went on for at least a half an hour, same joke, same hysterical laughter.

It's even better for me since they are speech delayed and usually talk "twin talk" to each other, but not anymore

MissAnjy

I remember once when my son was younger I pulled up to the teller window at the bank and he said (very seriously) mama i want a cheeseburger and fries...i thought it was soo funny

lol My twins do this as well, every single time we're at Tim Hortons they scream "burger & fries" out the window repeatedly. When I say "they don't sell that here" they say "oh, Hortons?"

crazymama2two

i have twin sisters. when they were little they wouldnt talk because they just had "twin speak" and could communicate with each other. then they had to go into speech therapy in order to figure it out. well, it didnt take long at all. there was nothing wrong with them. they just didnt WANT to talk. so off to therapy they go on day. my mom brings them home and they're playing. my mother apparnetly is washing dishes and when she turns the water off she hears them saying to each other "youre a mother f*cker" "no, youre a mother f*cker" "no YOURE a mother f*cker"

godroxmysox

I remember once when my son was younger I pulled up to the teller window at the bank and he said (very seriously) mama i want a cheeseburger and fries...i thought it was soo funny

that is very cute!

crazymama2two

My twins to each other one morning:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Dragon - rrrraaawwwwwwrr

Both falling down laughing only to do it again with the other twin starting first. This went on for at least a half an hour, same joke, same hysterical laughter.

It's even better for me since they are speech delayed and usually talk "twin talk" to each other, but not anymore

hey, i just wrote how my twin sisters were like that "twin speak" i called it

bpe101

Before I was born, my mom was going to take my brother to Florida. He was about 3 years old. She told him in passing they were going to Miami. At some point he told her, "I don't want to go to My-Ami, I want to go to Your-Ami."

Oh, but wait... There's more.

My brother is now grown and has 2 boys. His oldest is 3. His 4th birthday and his brother's 1st birthday is in a few weeks and they are taking them to Florida. (Now, these 2 kids have not heard the story about my brother and Miami.) The other day we got a call from my brother saying he told his oldest they were going to Miami and he started wailing, "Nooooo, I want to go to Mommy's-Ami and Grammy's-Ami!!!!"

Apparently the two of them think a lot alike...

crazymama2two

my 2 year old almost son went into the fridge the other day, pulled out a beer and looked at me and said "daddy"

MissAnjy

My twins to each other one morning:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Dragon - rrrraaawwwwwwrr

Both falling down laughing only to do it again with the other twin starting first. This went on for at least a half an hour, same joke, same hysterical laughter.

It's even better for me since they are speech delayed and usually talk "twin talk" to each other, but not anymore

aren't twins the best? lol Every morning I hear "Mom, Mom" in harmony (yells) LOL it's like echo echo hahaha

i taught my kids to 'bear hug' and that is where you give a hug and rawr like a bear very loudly. People always think it's hilarious, lol

dsolgot

My 4 year old son says lots of crazy things one of the most recent things being when I was cutting his hair I had him down to his underware in the bathroom so he could take a bath right after he says "look mommy my penis is hairy like daddys" I almost could not finish cutting his hair mind you at the time my husband had been deployed for 7 months so how he would remember something like that I have no clue..

vbennett7

When my youngest daughter was about 4 or 5 years old, we went to Chicago for a family reunion. We are from a small midwestern town so this was really BIG for our kids. We arrived at our hotel. A man and woman in front of us had ridden their motorcycles to the hotel. They checked in, decked out in black leather. We ended up in the elevator together. As we were riding up to our rooms, Emma broke out in song..." Bad boys, bad boys, what cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they come for you?" It was a really awkward moment for us. Fortunately, they smiled.

When my older daughter, now 13, was around 5, we were once again visiting a larger city than our child was used to. Walking around in a Walmart, we crossed paths with a large teen wearing chains and a bandana across his head. My girl cheerfully said (very loudly), "Look, mom, ...a pirate!"

wildeyezz

I was on a bus in England with my cousins and a 5 year-old nephew.

During the ride a pregnant woman boarded the bus, and my nephew pointed to her belly and yelled ...'I know what's in there and I know how it got there too!"

quietlywinning

Driving through the country one day, I heard my 3 year old son in the backseat erupt into giggles. I asked what was so funny, and after several tries, he finally gasped out, "I saw a dalmation............COOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

The same day, my 4.5 year old daughter asked, as we were crossing a rural bridge, "why do they think we CARE how much that bridge weighs?"

Froggy1976

Another one kind of like the Miami one. My son was about 3 and we were visiting a museum. My husband told him to look at that statue. My son promptly replies "statch me?"

lindsaylove07

When my sister was 3-4 she was making us late because she wouldn't put on her shoes. Here's what ensued

Dad: Courtney, go get your shoes on
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes
Dad: Courtney, GO GET YOUR SHOES ON
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes
Dad: Courtney, GO GET YOUR GOD D@MN SHOES ON!!!
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes and says, in her little innocent cute voice...."But daddyyyyy I tan't find my dod dwamn tshoesssss"

Pure hilarity

ChirishGirl

My sister swears she gave birth to my kids (I don't have any and with them around that's OK!) But the youngest is my little buddy to the end - he's four. When he gets reaaaaaaalllllyyyy tired there is NO off switch. He just chatters and chatters away about ANYTHING to stay awake because he doesn't want to take a nap. Well, I guess we never realized how bad our response to the chatter fest is... but in the car one day he's in the back just yakkin away NONSTOP and I just went "LUKE!" He goes "sigh.. i know... not now luke" and then laid down the puppy dog eyes. He kills me!

NOW his big thing is this song/rap on Nickelodeon about Socks & Sandals, so he goes around the house 'what what what - socks and sandals" and he WON'T leave the house without his black socks and his croc sandals.

Always an adventure...LOL

Cherilea

When my 9 yr old was about 2, he came into my room one morning. It was a weekend and I was taking advantage of sleeping in when he came marching in with his sippy cup. He wanted me to make him some Ovaltine chocolate milk. I kept putting it off, and the more I put it off the more agitated he got. Finally he puts the sippy right in front of my face and says..."IM STARVING HALF-N-DEAF!!" I just dissolved in giggles and to this day I still say that! lol

The same child when he was about 4. I was in the bathroom, and the boys know, if the bathroom door is closed..they are not to knock on the door, yell through the door, stick things under the door, etc...Well, I was sitting on the toilet (and the door wasn't quite shut) when Nick came in...armed and dangerous w/ fully loaded squirt guns (one for each hand) and proceeded with a full out water assault on his poor defenseless mom. Seriously?? He was laughing away and I was not very happy! Who does things like that? My son apparently!!

When my 13 yr. old was about 3, he and my dh were wrestling around on the bed. Colt had bumped his head and just left the room. No tears, no anything. About 5 mins later, he appeared at our doorway. I was working on the computer and I looked up and saw my son standing there with a panty liner across his forehead. I just about died laughing...it was so funny! And for about a week after that, any time he got hurt...on went a panty liner. He had them on his chin, his cheek, his legs, the bottoms of his feet, his arms, and his elbows.

When my 17 yr old was about 7, we had a bad storm. The tornado sirens went off and we all headed down to the basement. Of course it was then the kids discovered that we didn't take any animals with us and they were rather upset about that. Soooo..we brought in the rabbits from outside (about 5), the hamsters (2), the dog, and cats (2) all ended up in the basement. After a few tense moments....Josh looks around and says, "Well.....at least we're at the top of the food chain!" We still talk about that to this day as well

Same 17 yr old boy (8 at the time). I was downstairs when I thought I saw something swinging outside of the d/s windows. Then I saw it again...it looked like a rope or something. What on earth? Then it dawned on me it must have been coming from Justin and Josh's bedroom window! I go running upstairs only to find that Josh had cut huge holes in both window screens. He then had tied pieces of cloth together to make a rope. One end was hanging out the window, the other end was draped around his bedpost. Not tied in a knot, just draped. Im convinced that if I hadn't caught him, he would have tried to shimmy out the 2nd story window on his "rope." E-gads! The joys of having all boys! :explode: :grumble: :noway:

LizC26

I overheard my 5 yr old son singing this in the backseat..

Eeiny Meiny Miny Mo Pocket full of money hoe....


WTH.... We don't cuss or say any bad words around him....

I couldn't stop laughing...

jmruef

When my stepson was younger (about 8), he and DH and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood - it was Big Trash day, which meant there were lots of "goodies" curbside to poke into. It got to the point where D (stepson) was doing more poking into than walking, so DH tried to hurry him along. "But Dad," he said, very seriously, "one man's trash is another man's treasure, and I'm that man!"

My brother has three boys, all under age 5. The middle one is just about 3 and loves to Skype with his grandparents. My brother got tired of him asking where Grandma and Grandpa were (on the computer), so he taught his son to ask "Where are the old farts?"

jujubean1992

My 18 month old does the darnedest things!

he will sit somewhere holding his hands like on a steering wheel and push his foot like he's pushing a pedal and go vroom vroom vroom until you tell him that's enough.

also he will hear something like a motorcycle or a plane and put his one finger up to his lips and tell you to shhhhhhh... then cup his ear.

and the story of his first ever sentence : he was taking a nap and woke up for a drink and went back to sleep then when he was awake for good i went in there and he goes "mom! i'm wake now!"