Kids say the funniest things...
Replies
-
My son was almost 3 and he came in the bathroom as i was getting out of the shower. He had never said anything about our bodies being different or even seemed to take notice, but for some reason that day, he "noticed" me. He looked up at me nearly in tears and said with great concern..."Oh, Mama, You're broken!!!" Took everything I had not to fall over laughing. I covered up and tried to explain things in an age appropriate manner and after that tried to keep him out of the bathroom.......:blushing:0
-
My three year old son asked me if we could get another dog and I told him no, three is enough. He then asked me if I would do it for a scooby snack?? I told him I don't think so, so then he asked me if I would do it for two scooby snacks?
He loves his Scooby Doo.0 -
When my 17 yr old was about 7, we had a bad storm. The tornado sirens went off and we all headed down to the basement. Of course it was then the kids discovered that we didn't take any animals with us and they were rather upset about that. Soooo..we brought in the rabbits from outside (about 5), the hamsters (2), the dog, and cats (2) all ended up in the basement. After a few tense moments....Josh looks around and says, "Well.....at least we're at the top of the food chain!" We still talk about that to this day as well
I LOVE THIS!0 -
I overheard my 5 yr old son singing this in the backseat..
Eeiny Meiny Miny Mo Pocket full of money hoe....
WTH.... We don't cuss or say any bad words around him....
I couldn't stop laughing...
This was too funny! I could not stop laughing. :laugh:0 -
every new year's we go to our best friend's house to celebrate. a bunch of us end up spending the night because we've all been drinking. a couple of years ago when her oldest son was 5, the very first thing i hear in the new year when i woke up that morning was him yelling "guuys, guuys, where are my pants?! i have to go to the bathroom and i can't find my pants!!"
my husband and i both lost it. the pants were eventually found.0 -
My son was always such a good boy and was very sensitive to his dad getting angry. When my husband would discipline our daughter, who was 4 years older than my son, my son would go clean his room every time -just to make sure he was doing everything good to not get into trouble...but came the day he took my husbands hammer and left it in the back yard...my husband scolded him but since he was only 41/2 years old at the time, he wasn't too hard on him...but my son being extra sensitive and always wanted to please his father got really upset by even that little bit of scolding...the next thing I knew, my son walked out of the front door with a back pack on his back. I followed him and watched him walk across the front yard and then stand at the edge of our neighbor's drive way. I asked him what he was doing?
and he answered, "I'm runnin away!"
I then asked, "If you're running away, why are you standing here/" (I was just curious)..
and he answered "Because I'm nor allowed to cross the drive way."
That was always my rule because he was too young to go down the street by himself so his limit was our driveway to our neighbor's driveway....even running away he didn't want to break the rules..lol0 -
The other day I was in my room laying down and hear from down the hall:
Isaiah, 9 Noah, 4
Isaiah: Mock
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Ing
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Bird
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Yeah
Noah: Yeah
***apparently my husband let them watch Dumb & Dumber and they have been repeating lines every chance they get****
then I was sick and my sons tells me...."pills are good" also from Dumb & Dumber LOL!!0 -
My favorite comes from one of my younger brothers. My mom told him he needed to behave. Very seriously he replied "But I am being haave!"0
-
This past Thankgiving my 5 yro son met his 11 month old cousin for the first time. Dispite being told repeatedly that his cousin was a girl he was unconvenced.
My Son (to his Aunt): Baby H is a girl, right?
Aunt: Yes baby H is a girl.
My Son: Are you sure?
Aunt: Yes I am sure.
My Son: Did you check to see if Baby H has a vagina?
Very funny stuff. Of course the adults present freaking out over a 5 yro knowing the word vagina was even more priceless.0 -
When my oldest daughter was about 3 my husband and I had been together for just a short time and she was calling him by his first name still. He had taken her swimming in the apartment pool. They had just gotten out and she says loud enough for the people in the hot tub to hear "Karl, I have to get the water out of my vagina!". A week later when I went swimming with him the same couple was there and when they saw him told their friends the story and they all busted up laughing!
When my youngest daughter was about 3, it must be that age, she told her grandmother "Nano, you are fat." Very matter-of-fact. She wasn't trying to be mean. I told her she had to apologize to her. "Nano, I'm sorry you're fat." I have to say I still giggle over that one. Bad mommy. :bigsmile:0 -
Told my 4 year old to pick up his toys - there were several lying around the floor and there wasn't any way he was getting them in two hands all at once... so he looked at me and said "Mama, I'm not an octopus!"0
-
I've heard this story a million times; my family must think it's just that funny.
When I was younger (maybe 3 or 4), I was sitting on my Nana's lap and she was telling me a story. I put my hand up to stop her and said, "Nana, your breath smells". She responded with, "oh yeah, what does it smell like?" I said, "a lot of things, but mostly garbage and poop".
I am 23 now and I will never live it down!0 -
My son took his shoes while we were playing outside. I told him to put them back on and he said no momma I just wanna use my feet.0
-
I've heard this story a million times; my family must think it's just that funny.
When I was younger (maybe 3 or 4), I was sitting on my Nana's lap and she was telling me a story. I put my hand up to stop her and said, "Nana, your breath smells". She responded with, "oh yeah, what does it smell like?" I said, "a lot of things, but mostly garbage and poop".
I am 23 now and I will never live it down!
That had me in tears! So funny! Your family is right!0 -
My twins to each other one morning:
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Dragon - rrrraaawwwwwwrr
Both falling down laughing only to do it again with the other twin starting first. This went on for at least a half an hour, same joke, same hysterical laughter.
LOL Knock knock jokes go similarly around here. In the car the other day my 4 year-old was making a list of the friends he wanted to invite to his birthday party (in October). I asked him if he was going to invite Jillian. "No, just boys.Jillian doesn't have a penis so she can't come." My two year-old started chiming, "No penis, no party. No penis, no party."0 -
My son was almost 3 and he came in the bathroom as i was getting out of the shower. He had never said anything about our bodies being different or even seemed to take notice, but for some reason that day, he "noticed" me. He looked up at me nearly in tears and said with great concern..."Oh, Mama, You're broken!!!" Took everything I had not to fall over laughing. I covered up and tried to explain things in an age appropriate manner and after that tried to keep him out of the bathroom.......:blushing:
OMG I had totally forgotten about this story until I read yours. I was changing clothes when my son was about 2 and he pointed at me and said "mommy has an owie, you need a band-aid". My husband and I about fell on the floor laughing!0 -
:laugh: Bump, I need a laugh.0
-
a few years back i took my niece out to a movie we saw 28 days later my niece was probably around 7 years old. befor you say she is way to young to watch those movies i had her parents permission. My sister actually really loves scary movies and lets her daughters watch them too... she always explains to them that they are just movie and they are fake. My nieces love them and get a kick out of being scared.
so anyways we are sitting in the movie theater and there is a couple behind us talking about us saying things about us and how irresponsible we are to bring a small child to a movie like this. of course we could over hear them.
so my niece gets up stands on the chair looks back at the couple and says ' its only a movie its all fake its not real blood its ketchup don't be scared, i am not!"0 -
:laugh:My 5 year old is quite a little comedian but this is one of my favorites!
A few years ago my son and I were at a stop light and someone honked at another car. He said "did you hear that mom? Someone just honked at that dumba**!" I about died!
:bigsmile: :bigsmile: i think i have passed my road rage onto my son:huh:0 -
Appetitie supressant:
We were sitting down to eat dinner, which happened to include cod fillets. I was saying to my barely-talking, sign language-learning 18 month old, "We're eating fish." She proceeded to do the 'sign' opening and closing her mouth like a fish, which she does when she wants to watch our goldfish. The mental picture of us sitting down to dinner of goldfish was enough to curdle my stomach!0 -
bump0
-
My husband is in a band. All of the band member's kids love to get up and sing with them during practice. My son, who was about 3.5 or 4 at the time LOVES rock music. When the band started playing Knocking on Heaven's door, he jumped up, grabbed the mic and sang "Stop, stop, knockin on Kevin's door."
Thank GOd I have it on video
My family loves this one:
I was a little girl when Strawberry Shortcake was big. i had gotten a Strawberry Shortcake doll that "blew" strawberry scented kisses when you squeezed her. I was sitting on the potty with my baby doll using the restroom when my grandma came in to check on me. Playing around with me she said "Shew wee, it stinks in here." I said, "I know Granny, it smells like Strawberries and a**wholes!!"0 -
my daughter and i were watching Survivor. At the end Jeff Probst said, "Go back to camp where flint will be waiting for you." my daugher looks at me and says, "Who's Flint??"
0 -
My son had a speech delay and when he was about 20 months old the only word he could say was "Dada and Diarrhea" How the hell can this kid say Diarrhea and Dada but no other words LMAO!!!0
-
my daughter and i were watching Survivor. At the end Jeff Probst said, "Go back to camp where flint will be waiting for you." my daugher looks at me and says, "Who's Flint??"
LOLOLOL...This reminds me of two things:
A) Me: Jas...for the love of Pete...Calm down!
Jas: Eww....Who's Pete..I dont love him...:noway:
And most recently...
Me: Well Jas you finished your very first year of school..I am so proud of you, girlfriend!!
Jas: *quizzical look* Umm..I'm not your girlfriend..Don't you have a HUSBAND? you know..MY DAD?0 -
Baha. My mom will always tell these two stories.
First: I was three-ish trying to learn how to read. She was trying to explain to me how to make the "e" sound on words. I stood up, looked at her and said "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" like an old man with diahrrea. [:
Second: We were sitting at home watching a Rolling Stones concert when my mom said how much she loooooved Mick Jagger. I looked at her very quizzically and asked (seriously): "Mommy, what's McJagger's first name?!" She loves that one. I was about 6/7 during that.
The one my dad always tells people. I was two, and he turned off my FAVORITE song (something by Nirvana) to turn on a record that he wanted to hear instead. I got super mad at him and threw a toy at his record player (broke it). Another time he turned off my favorite movie (the Crow) to put in something else. Well, later that night I shoved a block in the VHS player.
I was a destructive kid when my dad messed with my media.0 -
At my daughter's (she's 6) first ever soccer game, I was surprised at how her big brother (he's 10) was being so supportive of her, he was telling me how good she was doing, giving her directions and thumbs up while she was on the field. It was so nice to see him encouraging her and watching him smile as he watched her. But as big brothers are, when she got off the field at the end of the game the first thing he says to her was.....YOU SUCK!
My daughter was having a meltdown, here is her list of things that were wrong.
1 she had no lunch money - she did she just forgot where she put it.
2 she didnt get to go to a friends house -her brother did..
3 her teacher didnt give her the book she wanted to read to me and
4 shes never had an xray0 -
Here is my conversation with my 5 year old on Sunday, Fathers Day.
Ethan "Mom we forgot to give dad his armpit."
Me "His armpit? What are you talking about?"
Ethan "That's how you say present in Spanish."
Mom "No its not."
Ethan "Japanese?"
Oy!0 -
Here is my conversation with my 5 year old on Sunday, Fathers Day.
Ethan "Mom we forgot to give dad his armpit."
Me "His armpit? What are you talking about?"
Ethan "That's how you say present in Spanish."
Mom "No its not."
Ethan "Japanese?"
Oy!
Haha, that is so cute!0 -
I've heard this story a million times; my family must think it's just that funny.
When I was younger (maybe 3 or 4), I was sitting on my Nana's lap and she was telling me a story. I put my hand up to stop her and said, "Nana, your breath smells". She responded with, "oh yeah, what does it smell like?" I said, "a lot of things, but mostly garbage and poop".
I am 23 now and I will never live it down!
This is FANTASTIC! Thanks for sharing and I can see why you will never live it down, it's too precious not to remember.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions