Bummed by friend's comment

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dawnw30
dawnw30 Posts: 270
in Motivation and Support
So I was talking to a friend earlier and I told her I was excited because we are going to a wedding in a couple of weeks and I wanted to show off a bit. I have lost alot of weight and am feeling kinda good about it. I said I just wanted people to go "Wow-you have 5 kids? No way!" She said she didn't know I was so conceited...REALLY? Do you think that's being conceited or just feeling good about the hard work I've been doing? It kinda hurt my feelings that she said that. I didn't say I want people to tell me I'm drop dead gorgeous or anything like that...that would be vain, but I just wanted to feel like a NORMAL person - not the fat chick in the corner like I usually am. Any thoughts? Am I over reacting? :embarassed:
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Replies

  • MrsSki
    MrsSki Posts: 196
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    I don't think you are overreacting at all! When you are so proud of your hard work you want other people to recognize it too! I think it's amazing you have lost over 60 pounds. Good for you! :flowerforyou:
  • kellyscomeback
    kellyscomeback Posts: 1,369 Member
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    Wow, what a 8itch. There's nothing conceded about wanting your hard work to be noticed.
    Now, if you were to go in your wedding gown then things would be different.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    Sounds like she is struggling with the fact that you've lost weight and are proud about it. Women in general I think don't know how to take a compliment a lot of times and I think they also don't know how to give them when their friend has done something they may not be able to do.

    My feelings would be hurt too.
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
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    sounds jealous!

    go for it, you've worked hard, if you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour (by feeling confident and sexy) then whats the point?
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
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    :huh: Sniff....sniff.... I'm smelling a jealous :grumble: friend...

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • MellyPfromVT
    MellyPfromVT Posts: 869 Member
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    Be proud of what you have accomplished and flaunt it, Girl! She sounds jealous to me!
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    Probably just the ugly, green-eyed monster: Jealousy! You've worked hard and I would surely like folks to notice. Ignore her. Nothing wrong with being proud of what you've accomplished. Knock them out with the new you!
  • lovehandles3076
    lovehandles3076 Posts: 27 Member
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    I totally agree with sounds jealous, if you got it flaunt it, it is awesome that you have probably gained back some confidence screw what your friend says!!
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
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    you should be proud of yourself.....,maybe she doesn't realize how insensitive she sounded.....you work it at that party and don't let her comment get you down....you are doing awesome :flowerforyou:
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
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    Not conceited at all! You've worked hard to get where you are and there's nothing wrong with wanting people to notice.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
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    I don't think your comment is at all conceited. I would think she's gone down a few places on your friends list! Not only does her remark make her sound tactless and mean, it also smacks of jealousy - is there something in her life that she just doesn't have the motivation to do?? is there a chance she's jealous? She sounds like a meany.

    Enjoy the wedding. Forgive the friend this once......
  • flyawaybyebye
    flyawaybyebye Posts: 250
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    Her comment sucks, and probably does come from jealousy. BUT, please don't get emotionally invested in how other people respond to your weight loss. Do it for you, and you only, and don't worry about anyone else's reaction. Because everyone (even people here on MFP) will react poorly to some aspect of your loss, your methods, etc. at some point. You have to decide what is or isn't working for you, and work it, and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. That way, if they react positively, it's purely a nice surprise, not something to work for or try to achieve.
  • katpack
    katpack Posts: 2 Member
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    She most likely doesn't feel good about herself. Or is slightly jealous that you are doing so well with your weight loss. I would explain that is very motivating to have people notice your accomplishment and efforts because it wasn't easy.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    Wow, what a 8itch. There's nothing conceded about wanting your hard work to be noticed.
    Now, if you were to go in your wedding gown then things would be different.

    hahahaha toooo funny! I actually had that happen! A lady that was invited to MY wedding asked me if I would mind if she wore her wedding dress to my wedding! She chose not to due to (Im sure) the look on my face when she asked me that dumb question!!
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
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    Im with you. I feel like I talk about it quite a bit... (what Im eating etc) because its so much a part of my life now that I dont even notice. My sister told me that I should "just shut up about it" but.. shes kinda a bizzo and thats how she acts about stuff. I dont know maybe I annoy others too? I dont care though! I feel so good.. and damn if I dont look good! I wouldnt dwell on it! :)
  • mizjohnston
    mizjohnston Posts: 196 Member
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    First of all way to go on your weight loss. you are doing a terrific job. Sounds like she is just jealous. When you are working so hard to get to your goal you want people to notice. It is time for you to shine. Don't let her ruin your day. :wink:
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
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    Wanting someone to compliment you is not conceited. Telling someone how great you are is. You worked hard, you have every right to want people to notice.
  • ejmcam
    ejmcam Posts: 533 Member
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    People are so inconsiderate! I totally get it! Nothing makes me feel better than when people say that I look good! Because it took a lot of work to get there and we deserve all the praise! You go and have a great time....feeling good about yourself and all!
  • Dahlface13
    Dahlface13 Posts: 65 Member
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    If you are usually the shy kinda insecure one then she's probably just not used to you being more confident. Don't let it get to you. If she's a true friend she'll get used to (and happy with!) the sexier and more confident you. If not and she can't support you, maybe it's for the best to find out. Give her a little slack tho, people around us take time to get used to the new us just like it takes us time to make healthy changes.
  • o0IrishEyes0o
    o0IrishEyes0o Posts: 82 Member
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    Whew! Sounds like a little bit of misplaced negativity or maybe just a strongly opinionated personality. You are NOT conceited. You are PROUD! And you should be!

    Rock out at the wedding and don't let the comment get you down. Maybe tell her that it hurt your feelings? I have some friends that are really opinionated and they don't often realize that what they say hurts.

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