People who change when you lose weight

4himalone

I understand! I have MS and some other health issues. I started my health journey last yr. I lost about 25lbs. before I found this site. I got new clothes b/c the old ones were too big. My one co worker critiques my clothing, my lunch, my hair...etc. She is not a happy person. She struggles w/ her weight and her self esteem. However, she is not willing to 'give up' what she thinks she deserves to accomplish healthy goals (meaning..'I had a rough day, I deserve that piece of cake...or....to lay on the couch and do nothing..)

After a long day at work, I will go home and force myself to do cardio. Yes, I did say 'force'. Cardio is the last thing I want to do after a full day of work. But when I finish w/ the cardio, I am in such a better place mentally as well as physically!

Yoga is my best friend. I love practicing yoga!
My family and friends think I am nuts but I can move better and I do not get winded.
I ask you...who is 'nuts'?????

Remember, this is your gift to yourself! I will continue to eat right, exercise and just have fun for ME...to hell w/ the nay sayers!

You are doing great. This is for you! ((((HUGS))))

Trishkit

It's threads like this that make me proud to be part of this community! Look at all of these amazingly supportive people! So awesome!

That said, the "real world" can be tough. As I've been on my journey off and on, I've had people in my life who make those annoying comments, too. The biggest culprit is my MIL (who I think would qualify as being morbidly obese), who makes those little "joke" side comments like, "Oh, you can eat that?" and "Oh, sorry, you probably can't have any of this, can you?" You know what? I decide for myself what I will and won't eat and everything that goes into my body is a conscious choice. I could eat that if I wanted to, but honestly, I have no desire to go anywhere near it!

I also get super-peeved at the comments about how I'm going to "waste away into a stick" or "fade away into nothing". Really? I'm still 45lbs overweight and you think I'm fading away into nothing? I don't meant this as a diss to anyone who's very overweight, least of all my MIL, but I guess that the size difference might put things in a different perspective. To her, I might very well look shrunken and tiny.

My goal is to become as active as I can and someday go jogging or running for fun. I'm not there yet, but that's what I'd like to do. And to my in-laws, who have always led low-activity lives (according to my husband), that seems strange and bizarre. I'm already used to the comments and different vibes coming from them, due to my vegan diet, so it will be just one more things to let roll off my shoulders and leave behind.

People who aren't making this journey with us don't understand the mindset and challenges that we overcome. That's something that I have to remind myself of daily. Some people just don't get it, and it's up to me to take the high road and not let them bring me down.

Hugs to all of you! You're doing so great!

irridia

I have to share something not related to health choices, but very much related to weight loss. My mom worked in an office full of busybody know it alls who couldn't do their share of work but had all the time in the world to contemplate and then comment on my mom's weight loss.

This has reaaally tainted my perspective when it comes to negative/stupid comments regarding weight loss and I am afraid I am not very kind in response.

You see my mom got very very sick. She had been struggling with trying to lose weightfor all of my known memory of her. My dad would be oh so helpful by making fun of her when she tried to exercise, and I'm afraid that until I was old enough to understand that this was wrong, I followed suit as did my brother.

Well, mom started feeling nausious all of the time. she had successfully been cleared of having had breast cancer and declared cancer free for over 5 years when she lost her voice and started feeling pukey. It progressed to not being able to keep down food at all and finding food she used to love tasting nasty to her. At first she was happy at loosing weight, she had stopped smoking because it just didn't appeal to her anymore. People complemented her and when I would go to her office say something about her weight loss. In my head I knew it was bad, but neither of us wanted to face it. Neither did the docs, they kept saying it was sinus related. After 6 months they finally decided to do actual tests and said she had lymphoma, by then she was really really tiny.

These stupid biddies would come to me and say "your mom really needs to stop losing weight she's getting to skinny, we are worried about her." Yet the whole time they were shoving their work off on to her, when they were actually hired to HELP her!

She would sit in her office and hack up stuff all the time and puke right after trying to eat and these self-absorbed morons were acting like she was losing weight on purpose. When she went into the hospital she weighed 98 lbs and looked like a concentration camp victim. I would have given any thing to have been able to see her eat and keep it down!

My point in this story is that people need to think about what could be going on in the other person's lives before they open their mouths to criticize or offer un asked for advise! Unless you are super close to someone, you just don't know, they could be skinny because they have cancer!

So my idea of the perfect response to that sort of thing would be to look them straight in the eye and ask "How far can you run?" "Can you run up the stairs" or what ever other fitness goal you have obtained ( I wouldn't challenge anyone to a push up contest because I would lose ;-> ) If they say yes then make em throw down, if they say no then say I can and then tell them how great it makes you feel and that they should try it them selves and offer them help/support/advice and then let them know "because I would love it if you could be around a long time and I feel like you are shaving years off of your life by being unfit" or however diplomatically you can put it.

Good luck and keep up the great work> I need to go kick some circuit training butt now!

Shaping_My_Destiny

I'm sorry you're going through that. Some people, by nature, are insensitve. They don't know your struggles. They probably have no idea of the impact on you. You might consider saying something like, "I know you don't mean any harm and I'd prefer if you wouldn't comment on my diet. It's a sensitive issue for me. Thanks."

Otherwise, if you don't feel comfortable, tell yourself that person is ignorant of your stuggles and doesn't mean any harm. Then, tell yourself, "I'm proud of overcoming this weight struggle."

Best wishes!

paigele

Nsiren
I get the same thing, except coworkers now are saying " Stop right there, Don't lose any more, not one pound." I appreciate the concern behind their motives, but I could easily take off another 10 lbs without getting too thin. I tell them they don't know what these scrubs are hiding.
To shut them up I went to my dr for a visit after reaching the 45 lbs total loss point and he said I was doing fine. I even brought him an eating and exercise log I printed from MFP to show him what I am doing, which he kept in my chart.
Learn to recognize that yes there is probably some jealousy there but listen to the ones who say they admire your stamina. The others just don't know what to do with such a positive role model. There are not as many of those in our society as negativity feeders.
You stay with it, lady and feel good about turning heads.

dad106

Hun 45 pounds is huge and you need to be proud of that!

I lost about 20 pounds in the last 6 months and my mom tells me stuff like that too. Since I'm so tall, I naturally look thinner, even tho I'm really not. Hell even my personal trainer asked me once Um, are you eating after I told him I lost another 5 pounds.. and he knows how I hate to talk about my weight. So needless to say he got a medicine ball to the face.

Next time these people say stuff, just tell them in the nicest way possible that Thanks, but its none of their business what you do. If they don't like it, then they can go eat somewhere else.

Nachos88

WOW! U guys are great! :-) Thanks for the encouragement and its nice to know that I'm not the one with a problem. That it happens to other people as well. Thanks a mil guys!

My body is mine, and I want it to be as healthy as possible.
no one can understand but me, because it;s my body.

It feels darn good to be able to run up some stairs without feeling faintish, thats for sure.
I need to remember that whenever someone tries to put me down.


:-) Thanks everybody!

juscallmeb

Atta girl! Stay positive and strong. It's your life. Keep up the hard work.

MissAnjy

You're doing amazing in this journey & people just can't handle success when it isn't their own.
I was clearly overweight still when people were telling me "if you turn sideways, we'll lose you" or "you're fading away into nothing"
I'm 5'10 and weigh 158lbs. With my frame, I could stand to get down to 140-145. I'm NOT fading away.
I also receive comments all the time from my In-laws (when i refuse dessert, etc) "oh stop, just eat it, you can starve yourself again tomorrow" OR if i eat a meal and say that i'm full they say "well you only feel full because you're so used to starving yourself"

wtf.

I've never went hungry. I've never "starved myself" and I'm doing this with hardwork and dedication. People can't always handle that, especially if they don't have what it takes to do what you're doing. They think you can't POSSIBLY have MORE dedication then them (that would make them feel lazy) so they just throw out the starving yourself comments to make themselves feel better, because that MUST be what YOU'RE doing differently then them.

It's frustrating, but at the end of the day, do this for YOU!! You know your body, you know your goals and your aspirations. THAT matters, not what someone says who really isn't in your situation and who really shouldn't be in your business.

kmdehart

Misery loves company. . . . . Its a shame that your 'friends' cant be positive for you. Sometimes it takes life changes to weed out the not so good friends. Keep up the good work. Your results are amazing!!!!!!