Success Stories Demotivate Me
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It's tough, there's no denying it, and it seems hard to believe that each of us could be there as a success story too.
Would it help to redefine your goals? I've tried so many times to lose weight that saying "my goal is to lose weight" seems too big and too hard.
Instead I decided that my first goal was to record everything I ate, good or bad. That I COULD achieve, and I found that just the act of writing down my meals and snacks made me concious of how much I was eating. Then I decided to set a goal of half a pound a week loss. This meant I didn't have to go too low cal and made it achievable.
And I wanted to run. First day of C25K I ran a total of 6 minutes and nearly died. Today I ran 7.5 km almost non stop.
5 months on and I'm losing slowly and steadily. You can too, but you have to decide that you CAN do it, set the goals that will motivate you, then just get started. Good luck!0 -
You know, I *DO* feel that way sometimes. Not just with weight loss/fitness either. I feel that way about a lot of things. But then that negativity becomes strangely motivating for me because, if I let myself dwell on it for a while, I start to recognize it for what it really is...fear. My fear of failure is often the very thing that is holding me back from succeeding! When I look the fear in the eye (so to speak) I can move forward again. When I'm feeling negative, repeating positive things like "I can do it!" don't always work for me. They do work for some people, but I find that sometimes I have to do the opposite and go *into* the fear and negativity to break free. Only then do the positive mantras start to have any effect.0
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Ya, I know I'm being putting my self down, I hardly need others to do it for me. Thank you to those who were trying to use positive reinforcement. I don't know why I bother with the forums. Looking for inspiration in the motivation and support forum, what was I thinking?!
Don't look at it as them putting you down. Look at it as tuff love. I try to see the positive even in the negative because it helps me. You can't control what others do or say but you can control how you interpret a situation. With that said I'm going to need you to stop putting yourself down thinking that you can't succeed because for some reason everyone else got that "something" that helped them reached their goal and it somehow bypass you. I know you know that's not true. So when your mind starts to go to the negative you have to counteract it with positive reinforcement. "I can obtain my goals." "I am focus." "I can do this."
You have to be your biggest cheerleader.0 -
Is it just me? I'm obsessed with them and love seeing the changes but I look at the people that have completely transformed and hit their goals and think... That will never be me, I'm not capable of doing what they did.
well, then, you wont.
Just so wrong, if you can't be supportive, don't reply. Build up don't break down.
Well even though this person didn't pat her on the back...she was telling the truth to a certain extent unfortunately. If she doesn't change the way she thinks about herself she won't succeed. Weight loss is 80% mental. Once you can get pass your own critical thinking, self-doubt and insecurities it will be a breeze. To do that is hard but if you work at it daily it can happen.0 -
Ya, I know I'm being putting my self down, I hardly need others to do it for me. Thank you to those who were trying to use positive reinforcement. I don't know why I bother with the forums. Looking for inspiration in the motivation and support forum, what was I thinking?!
Come on, you are 29 years old, time to grow up. This is not putting you down, this is tought love. Life is not always glitters and rainbow. I love this saying ''Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right.'' We do not need to tell you you can do it....you have to have it in yourself. Like I can have 100 strangers on the net tell me I will fail, well they do not know me, they have no impact on my life. I would make a list of why you need to succeed, and what can make you fail. Hving a clear understanding of you inner motives (positive and negative) can help you alot.
Good luck0 -
That is soooooooooo not true. Its like the law of gravity, you are saying it will work for other people but not you. Of course the law of gravity will work for you........and if you continue on your new lifestyle and eating plan, ..........the weight loss will happen for you.
You have to trust the process. If you do what your are supposed to do...........your body will respond.
I'm looking forward to the day, when you say....and it will probably be something like this "I can't believe it, but I achieved my goal. I never knew I was an athete but I am, I never knew I had so much power but I do! I made my dream come true, I did, me, me and myself, all those hours of exercise, all those choosing to eat consciously, I DID IT!!!"
And we will all lbe in your front row cheering, smiling at each other because we knew it would happen, we believed in you and we believe in you now. Trust yourself and this process, I have faith in you!!!0 -
Why not?
I guess because I've been down this road before but never reached my goal and that it gets harder each time and I lose sight and end up right where I left off. It's hard to imagine ever being somewhere I've never been as an adult. I know I should technically be capable of it but I can't picture it, ya know? Even when I say "I can do this!" in the back of my mind I think "Ya, right". I really don't want to think it so comments like "well you won't" don't really help.
OK, that helps to define the issue. You have very good self knowledge/understanding - the ability to Intensely visualize yourself as the you that you want to become IS the key to reaching your goals! Here's a suggestion that may give you the tools you need to use the amazing power of your subconscious mind to your advantage - read "Psycho-cybernetics" by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. He was a plastic surgeon who became intrigued by the varied reactions of his patients after surgery and made a lifelong study of the visualization process. The book is an easy read, filled with mental exercises to help re-pattern your thinking; it's available at Amazon.com. You should read it, it goes to the heart of what you are feeling you need help with.0 -
The definition of this section is MOTIVATION & SUPPORT. We need to encourage and uplift one another whenever we can. I was in almost the EXACT same position as you find yourself now. I weighed 158 and had a goal of 135. I had tried and failed multiple times and I looked at success stories and although somewhat encouraged, I figured they were cheating or lying or simply THAT WILL NEVER BE ME! I knew I had to modify that, but it's so hard! But with this site and with the proper amount of motivation (Wedding and Cruise!) I DID do it! I found what worked for me and you will too! Stay strong, fight that feeling of defeat and you will overcome! Add me as a friend and I will do my best to help if I can!0
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Comments like "well you won't" are the truth, plain and simple. Getting to your goal is going to be hard work but you have to get your head in the game first. How bad do you want it?
I wanted it badly. I told myself I would never ever stop until I made my goal. Was it hard? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes.
The truth is simple... if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
If you keep self sabotaging you won't reach your goal. Believe in yourself and just make it happen.Is it just me? I'm obsessed with them and love seeing the changes but I look at the people that have completely transformed and hit their goals and think... That will never be me, I'm not capable of doing what they did.
well, then, you wont.
Just so wrong, if you can't be supportive, don't reply. Build up don't break down.
Well even though this person didn't pat her on the back...she was telling the truth to a certain extent unfortunately. If she doesn't change the way she thinks about herself she won't succeed. Weight loss is 80% mental. Once you can get pass your own critical thinking, self-doubt and insecurities it will be a breeze. To do that is hard but if you work at it daily it can happen.
I have to say there was nothing negative about this at all. A couple of people already mentioned my favorite Henry Ford quote: "Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right."
I guess I'm not like others who are inspired by rainbows and flowers. Reaching your physical goals is hard work. Period. That's what makes reaching your goals so much more rewarding and worth it. Like you, Kittyfelz, I'm not at all motivated by success stories. Not that they demotivate me, but they just don't give me that spark or fire I need. Myself, I'm a numbers guy. I track everything, my weight, my body fat %, my heartrate, my VO2max, how much weight I lift, how many miles I ride. And the only thing that motivates me is to see my body numbers go down and my activity numbers to go up. Plain and simple. I don't look to others for support because everybody is different. Everybody reaches their goals differently. I know me. And I'm my biggest competitor, critic, and cheerleader all in one. I'm the person to beat. I'm the 1st person to scream at me like a drill sergeant calling me all sorts of names to push me past my limits. I'm the 1st person to congratulate me when I do. Find what works for you. If success stories affect you negatively, stay away from them. Maybe not wanting to be a failure story can motivate you instead. I know not wanting to be an American statistic is motivation for me. Plus I LOVE motivational quotes, the hardcore kind. They totally pump me up.
Just find that spark, that fire that gets you going, and use it.0 -
It was other peoples success that drove me to mine. My thought was if they can do it so can I.
You will do it too if that us what you really want.
It is hard work getting there, but if you pace yourself and accept it's not going to happen overnight you will ultimately get there.
I have found the hardest part is maintaining a large loss. I lost 7 stone ( 98 lbs ) in a 12 month period, but over the space of three years I have gained 3 stone back, not drastic, but losing those 3 stone is taking so much more effort, but I will get there, I am not giving up.
Do use others peoples success as a motivator though, as it proves great weight loss can be acheived.
Paul0 -
I have to say there was nothing negative about this at all. A couple of people already mentioned my favorite Henry Ford quote: "Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right."
I guess I'm not like others who are inspired by rainbows and flowers. Reaching your physical goals is hard work. Period. That's what makes reaching your goals so much more rewarding and worth it. Like you, Kittyfelz, I'm not at all motivated by success stories. Not that they demotivate me, but they just don't give me that spark or fire I need. Myself, I'm a numbers guy. I track everything, my weight, my body fat %, my heartrate, my VO2max, how much weight I lift, how many miles I ride. And the only thing that motivates me is to see my body numbers go down and my activity numbers to go up. Plain and simple. I don't look to others for support because everybody is different. Everybody reaches their goals differently. I know me. And I'm my biggest competitor, critic, and cheerleader all in one. I'm the person to beat. I'm the 1st person to scream at me like a drill sergeant calling me all sorts of names to push me past my limits. I'm the 1st person to congratulate me when I do. Find what works for you. If success stories affect you negatively, stay away from them. Maybe not wanting to be a failure story can motivate you instead. I know not wanting to be an American statistic is motivation for me. Plus I LOVE motivational quotes, the hardcore kind. They totally pump me up.
Just find that spark, that fire that gets you going, and use it.
Vinobi I just sent you a friend request. We are cut from the same cloth.0 -
I have to say there was nothing negative about this at all. A couple of people already mentioned my favorite Henry Ford quote: "Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right."
I guess I'm not like others who are inspired by rainbows and flowers. Reaching your physical goals is hard work. Period. That's what makes reaching your goals so much more rewarding and worth it. Like you, Kittyfelz, I'm not at all motivated by success stories. Not that they demotivate me, but they just don't give me that spark or fire I need. Myself, I'm a numbers guy. I track everything, my weight, my body fat %, my heartrate, my VO2max, how much weight I lift, how many miles I ride. And the only thing that motivates me is to see my body numbers go down and my activity numbers to go up. Plain and simple. I don't look to others for support because everybody is different. Everybody reaches their goals differently. I know me. And I'm my biggest competitor, critic, and cheerleader all in one. I'm the person to beat. I'm the 1st person to scream at me like a drill sergeant calling me all sorts of names to push me past my limits. I'm the 1st person to congratulate me when I do. Find what works for you. If success stories affect you negatively, stay away from them. Maybe not wanting to be a failure story can motivate you instead. I know not wanting to be an American statistic is motivation for me. Plus I LOVE motivational quotes, the hardcore kind. They totally pump me up.
Just find that spark, that fire that gets you going, and use it.
Vinobi I just sent you a friend request. We are cut from the same cloth.
It takes some pretty big and razor sharp scissors to cut thru that cloth, huh?
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Thank you all. I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. The tough love kinda thing has never really worked on me (just ask my Mom, lol) but I get that people are trying to help. Really I was just wondering if people have been where I've been. I'm not looking for the cliche and uninventive crap about whether I will succeed or not based on my thinking. Obviously I need to change my thinking and I want to, I just need to know that there's those out there that have overcome this and thank you to those that shared their stories, I do feel encouraged a bit now.0
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Dear OP,
I understand you COMPLETELY.
1. Tough love does not work on me at ALL. My mother claims it does and that's the reason why I've been losing weight the past two weeks, but she doesn't know that her comments almost made me bulimic. I love her, but the tough love thing is pretty awful on the receiving end.
2. Success stories don't motivate me much either. I am super happy for them and all, too, but it seems surreal to me, you know?
Keep your head up. You can do this, and you're not alone in your sentiments.0 -
Exactly clairepoint! I love seeing that they succeeded but it's surreal, I can't even imagine being in there shoes. Thanks for getting it!!0
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When I am feeling low and have self doubts.. I read the "before-after" threads here. Surely makes me feel better!0
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Is it just me? I'm obsessed with them and love seeing the changes but I look at the people that have completely transformed and hit their goals and think... That will never be me, I'm not capable of doing what they did.
I started my journey 3 1/2 years ago when my friends and I arranged a Biggest Loser challenge. I knew zilch about nutrition and exercise. I tracked my food on a piece of paper and used a calculator to add it up as the day went along. I remember crying to my husband and asking "Why is this so hard?" "Why do I have to fight this battle?", "I've reached my calorie limit but I'm still hungry!!!" It was torture!!! But I wanted to win, so I stuck with it. We finished our challenge and I did win. But that isn't my point. Since the challenge, I have made it a point to learn everything I can about health/fitness/nutrition. I still have a lot to learn, but things didn't really click until I was finally in the mindset that this is a lifestyle. Then everything became more clear and managable. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days, but it really does get easier! I still mess up, but I pick myself back up and get right back to it.
Believe in yourself, set attainable goals, and go for it. Good luck!0 -
I love reading success stories; it is VERY inspiring and motivational!0
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