Eating disorders.

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  • jessicakaycobb
    jessicakaycobb Posts: 10
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    It's amazing how doing things "The Right Way" is sooooo much easier than lying to everyone, covering up your tracks and making excuses not to eat, avoiding social occasions because they may revolve around food (how does one refuse food at a banquet, for example), terrible fatigue, stomach cramps, and passing out (I'm also hypoglycemic, on days I wouldn't eat, I had to at least make sure my sugar wasn't low enough to send me to the hospital. I wanted thinness, not death).

    i agree completely! it's been so nice to be able to tell my husband about my weight loss and how i've been doing, and to ask for his help if i need it...instead of constantly lying to him and hoping against hope that he wouldn't notice that i was "dieting" again.

    as for this original post: forget the hurtful people and just focus on the good you are doing for yourself. you're very brave to face the fear of eating more - as is anyone who is struggling to meet their lower intake levels. a lot of "normal" people don't get that. they think the answer to anorexia is "eat a cheeseburger." they think the answer to bulimia is "stop throwing up." they think the answer to EDNOS is "stop being a baby, you aren't really sick. just deal with your junk and quit crying for attention."

    in other words, they are IGNORANT. we all understand where you're coming from, and at the very least, the ignorant out there need to take a step back and realize their comments are going to a real human being, not a computer screen. i'm so sorry your feelings have been hurt!
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean...people look at me and make judgements(which NOBODY has the right to do) but yet they go and over eat and they are ok. Most people to some point have an eating disorder. It doesnt matter if you are to fat, to thin or some people are at the right weight but they binge ange purge..there are so many diferent things. I was only eating around 300 calories when I went into the hospital and came out eating 3600 calories. So it is possible. Unfortunately I have slipped backwards but I have not given up..no matter what people may think. You are young..please dont give in to this horrible disease have you had any professional help? It really has messed my life up and wouldnt wish it on anybody. And no we dont do it for attention...If I wanted to do something for attention I would get my weight up and get my life back. Cant change all of the harm it has done to my body, but I can try to educate others. Hang in there:happy:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,121 Member
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    Good for you for speaking up. You are welcome here!

    There are people who will try to "help" you in not-so-helpful ways. Forgive them. They don't get enough love in their own lives, so they don't know how to lovingly help you.

    Many people do not closely examine their issues. They just go through life getting progressively worse in whatever their problem happens to be.

    I sincerely hope you will be one who breaks the cycle and learns to give back to others the love they can't give to themselves. :flowerforyou:
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    An eating disorder is very serious and needs to be addressed from a physical and emotional/mental standpoint. I hope you are getting the help you need because it's not fair to complain about people getting down on you for hurting your body if you are not willing to take the necessary steps towards recovery. ED effect family and friends in a major way and I'm sure they are scared for you and don't know what else to say. I have dealt with anorexia in the past and also have a sister with bipolar disorder, so I know how damn frustrating it is when the ones you love so dearly refuse the help that they so desperately need.
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    You're so right. I'm so sick of people treating me like I'm not a real person! I think part of it is that in a lot of movies and on TV, girls with eating disorders are stereotyped. We're treated like we're stupid, fake and like we have to be 'fixed'. When will people realise that we're people too?! Stop stereotyping us all and pretending you know what we think and how we feel for God's sake! Don't pretend to understand when there's no way you could.
    People with eating disorders do need to be fixed, and until somebody can recognize that, they will not be able to get better.
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    Don't take others too seriously. The "smart" people say to eat at least 1200 calories so you body doesn't think there is a food shortage causing your metabolism to slow down. The "smart" people also say to eat your calories but that does not work for me. Do what feels best for you, it is your body. Stay to the minimum and eat as you see fit. Your picture looks just fine. If you wish you can send a friend request.
    How can you say this to an admitted anorexic? It is an illness that you obviously do not understand at all.
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    My heart pours out to you. If I knew any words of wisdom that would make everything better, I don't think I'd be in my current situation. Recovery is hard, but it's worth it in the long run.

    I can totally, totally relate. That's pretty much all I'm going to say on the matter. <3
  • HER94
    HER94 Posts: 10
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    Thanks for posting this I suffer from EDNOS and fed up of people just saying, stop eating, eat more, why are you so fussy, you dont need to diet, or your fat.. these mixed messages and negative atmosphere just dont help in Recovery.
  • mollycivinskas
    mollycivinskas Posts: 9
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    I have binge-eating disorder. For me, it manifests itself in periods of starvation, followed by consumption of insane and shocking amounts of food (and calories!) Further, the obsession continues, as I try to exercise and exercise, so that I can eat more. I have been struggling to manage my food choices, and logging them on here has helped. What I really want is to be satisfied with my body, which I can remember feeling only once (and that was during a drug-problem I developed as another way to control my eating.) I'm not obese (yet-) though most of my family is... and I just don't want that for myself. Some people think I'm vain, superficial and self-obsessed, but that's not true. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin- not to look better than anyone else, but to look like the best me I can. And I believe in my heart that a healthy lifestyle and a healthy view of oneself are a fantastic foundation for an all-around amazing life. I just wanted to say thanks for speaking up... while eating disorders can differ in their manifestation, we all have some things in common: 1. The way we see ourselves, 2. The way we believe others see us, and 3. we all feel like outcasts who live in shame as a result of our eating habits. By speaking up, you give others hope, and you put a stop to the shame and secrecy. We all deserve support, whether we are here to lose weight, gain weight, manage our eating habits, build muscle, train for an event, or just begin or maintain a healthy lifestyle. You most certainly have my support and my respect. Thank you for not being a secret. :)
  • VampireKame
    VampireKame Posts: 14
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    :O You're in show choir?! Where are you from and what choir? :)
    I thank you for posting this. It takes a lot to come out and say you have an eating disorder.
    And I can honestly relate to this post.
    Thank you.
  • Habehandful
    Habehandful Posts: 41 Member
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    I think you will go through many hurdles in your lifetime. Especially with your eating disorder.

    My husband asked me, "is it really about the food or is it something more? As a loved one, my husband was more in tune with my emotional and physical state of being. Bystanders and aquaintances, maybe not always as rational or be thinking about your well-being simply make comments or ask questions because they are curious or confused. More then likely, people whom have never experienced an eating disorder or a mental illness are not as sensitive with the "20 questions game."
    After years of observing people and watching others observe me, I have come to realize that people aren't necessarily disgusted with me but saddened. They do not understand why I cannot complete a simple every day task like eating. They question why I would choose to have an eating disorder? I have always thought to myself: I did not just wake up one morning and choose that today was the day I was going to be anorexic. I could have picked to be an alcoholic or a gambler or better yet a shopoholic. At least I would have had a larger aray of rehabs and lots of knock off Prada bags.

    These hurdles are going to both help and hinder you. You ultimately have to find that healthy balance. It takes time. But you can get there. People suck. There is no way around that. As a 25 year old, married to an intelligent military man, even my husband deals with terrible people. Just stand up, wipe your hands clean, and walk away. It will be the healthiest thing you will do. Your ED will destroy you BUT only if you let it. Yet I know just by you posting your concerns- you are heading in the right direction.
    So 1 point for you. :)
    Ed 0

    I have my pitfalls, but doesnt everyone.
    GOod luck to you. You can do it.
    Friend me you like.
    xo
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
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    Sweetie, of course you deserve love and support just like everyone else on these boards but I also think you need to admit to yourself that you some additional support.

    I don't want to segregate you or make you feel bad but I really do think that people with ED need more help than MFP can offer.

    I hope you are able to take my comments in the spirit in which they are meant - I am not trying to make you feel worse but I want to help make you realise there is no shame is seeking help.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    Firstly - You absolutely need need as much support as those people who are using the site to loose, or even maintain weight.

    Secondly - Sometime support comes in the form of a kick up the *kitten*... I definitely need one now and again! There are sympathetic ways to do it and there are... to be nice about some of the blunter posters... less subtle methods. Either way - don't confuse people telling you you need help, or need to make a change, as being unsympathetic. Sometimes these folks are your best friends!


    There are definitely some things on MFP which are geared towards weight loss: we get a congratulations post if we come in under calories or if we have lost weight - but never for eating our target calories, or for maintaining/gaining weight. If this is your goal - tell people and add your own status reports: you deserve to be congratulated.

    I suspect there are a number of people out there who are struggling with weight loss who react negatively to posts which talk about how hard you find it to eat all your calories... for them it might come across as boasting or just rubbing their face in how easy it is for some people to be thin.... Certainly I have had a lot less people respond sympathetically to posts about trying to eat the same weight and trying to eat enough calories on work out days than those from when I was loosing weight: I just suck it up and try to make sure I explain what I am feeling and why in every post: its a lot more effort than just saying - 'I feel rubbish today because I ate/drank too much' where 90% of the users here will instantly empathise and respond in a positive way.

    Anyway - I'm rambling now - so just to let you know - you have my full support and I wish you the best of luck with your goals.
  • RoseBlanc
    RoseBlanc Posts: 140
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    An eating disorder is very serious and needs to be addressed from a physical and emotional/mental standpoint. I hope you are getting the help you need because it's not fair to complain about people getting down on you for hurting your body if you are not willing to take the necessary steps towards recovery. ED effect family and friends in a major way and I'm sure they are scared for you and don't know what else to say. I have dealt with anorexia in the past and also have a sister with bipolar disorder, so I know how damn frustrating it is when the ones you love so dearly refuse the help that they so desperately need.

    Maybe I'm just unlucky... but I've never had a 'therapist' that was worth the hourly wage I paid them. I get better support and help from close friends than I ever did a shrink. I've made great progress with the help of my best friends and my disordered friends as well. "Professional" help, as you called it, wasn't doing a damned thing. I knew why I did what I did, I know why I continue to do the things I do. There's no secret "but IDK why I am the way I am!" with me. I DO know.
    My friends and family have made all the difference, Those people can take their degrees, and the money i wasted on them, and go eat a big mac, since its so easy and all.
  • RoseBlanc
    RoseBlanc Posts: 140
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    You're so right. I'm so sick of people treating me like I'm not a real person! I think part of it is that in a lot of movies and on TV, girls with eating disorders are stereotyped. We're treated like we're stupid, fake and like we have to be 'fixed'. When will people realise that we're people too?! Stop stereotyping us all and pretending you know what we think and how we feel for God's sake! Don't pretend to understand when there's no way you could.
    People with eating disorders do need to be fixed, and until somebody can recognize that, they will not be able to get better.

    Just because we have an eating disorder, doesn't mean we're broken. You fix whats broken.
    What people with eating disorders need is patience, persistence, empathy, sympathy, and a confident. We need people that aren't judgmental. We need people that don't believe they know the answer.
    We don't need to be fixed.
    We need to be understood, and worked with. Baby steps, compromise, and emotional support.
    And you need to think about how you're wording things.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
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    Don't take others too seriously. The "smart" people say to eat at least 1200 calories so you body doesn't think there is a food shortage causing your metabolism to slow down. The "smart" people also say to eat your calories but that does not work for me. Do what feels best for you, it is your body. Stay to the minimum and eat as you see fit. Your picture looks just fine. If you wish you can send a friend request.
    How can you say this to an admitted anorexic? It is an illness that you obviously do not understand at all.
    Yeah I totally agree with you. Dont encourage someone to be unhealthy. If you lived this life of hell you would never want anyone to go through it

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