Eating disorders.

Habehandful

I think you will go through many hurdles in your lifetime. Especially with your eating disorder.

My husband asked me, "is it really about the food or is it something more? As a loved one, my husband was more in tune with my emotional and physical state of being. Bystanders and aquaintances, maybe not always as rational or be thinking about your well-being simply make comments or ask questions because they are curious or confused. More then likely, people whom have never experienced an eating disorder or a mental illness are not as sensitive with the "20 questions game."
After years of observing people and watching others observe me, I have come to realize that people aren't necessarily disgusted with me but saddened. They do not understand why I cannot complete a simple every day task like eating. They question why I would choose to have an eating disorder? I have always thought to myself: I did not just wake up one morning and choose that today was the day I was going to be anorexic. I could have picked to be an alcoholic or a gambler or better yet a shopoholic. At least I would have had a larger aray of rehabs and lots of knock off Prada bags.

These hurdles are going to both help and hinder you. You ultimately have to find that healthy balance. It takes time. But you can get there. People suck. There is no way around that. As a 25 year old, married to an intelligent military man, even my husband deals with terrible people. Just stand up, wipe your hands clean, and walk away. It will be the healthiest thing you will do. Your ED will destroy you BUT only if you let it. Yet I know just by you posting your concerns- you are heading in the right direction.
So 1 point for you.
Ed 0

I have my pitfalls, but doesnt everyone.
GOod luck to you. You can do it.
Friend me you like.
xo

CARNAT22

Sweetie, of course you deserve love and support just like everyone else on these boards but I also think you need to admit to yourself that you some additional support.

I don't want to segregate you or make you feel bad but I really do think that people with ED need more help than MFP can offer.

I hope you are able to take my comments in the spirit in which they are meant - I am not trying to make you feel worse but I want to help make you realise there is no shame is seeking help.

mikeyrp

Firstly - You absolutely need need as much support as those people who are using the site to loose, or even maintain weight.

Secondly - Sometime support comes in the form of a kick up the *kitten*... I definitely need one now and again! There are sympathetic ways to do it and there are... to be nice about some of the blunter posters... less subtle methods. Either way - don't confuse people telling you you need help, or need to make a change, as being unsympathetic. Sometimes these folks are your best friends!


There are definitely some things on MFP which are geared towards weight loss: we get a congratulations post if we come in under calories or if we have lost weight - but never for eating our target calories, or for maintaining/gaining weight. If this is your goal - tell people and add your own status reports: you deserve to be congratulated.

I suspect there are a number of people out there who are struggling with weight loss who react negatively to posts which talk about how hard you find it to eat all your calories... for them it might come across as boasting or just rubbing their face in how easy it is for some people to be thin.... Certainly I have had a lot less people respond sympathetically to posts about trying to eat the same weight and trying to eat enough calories on work out days than those from when I was loosing weight: I just suck it up and try to make sure I explain what I am feeling and why in every post: its a lot more effort than just saying - 'I feel rubbish today because I ate/drank too much' where 90% of the users here will instantly empathise and respond in a positive way.

Anyway - I'm rambling now - so just to let you know - you have my full support and I wish you the best of luck with your goals.

RoseBlanc

An eating disorder is very serious and needs to be addressed from a physical and emotional/mental standpoint. I hope you are getting the help you need because it's not fair to complain about people getting down on you for hurting your body if you are not willing to take the necessary steps towards recovery. ED effect family and friends in a major way and I'm sure they are scared for you and don't know what else to say. I have dealt with anorexia in the past and also have a sister with bipolar disorder, so I know how damn frustrating it is when the ones you love so dearly refuse the help that they so desperately need.

Maybe I'm just unlucky... but I've never had a 'therapist' that was worth the hourly wage I paid them. I get better support and help from close friends than I ever did a shrink. I've made great progress with the help of my best friends and my disordered friends as well. "Professional" help, as you called it, wasn't doing a damned thing. I knew why I did what I did, I know why I continue to do the things I do. There's no secret "but IDK why I am the way I am!" with me. I DO know.
My friends and family have made all the difference, Those people can take their degrees, and the money i wasted on them, and go eat a big mac, since its so easy and all.

RoseBlanc

You're so right. I'm so sick of people treating me like I'm not a real person! I think part of it is that in a lot of movies and on TV, girls with eating disorders are stereotyped. We're treated like we're stupid, fake and like we have to be 'fixed'. When will people realise that we're people too?! Stop stereotyping us all and pretending you know what we think and how we feel for God's sake! Don't pretend to understand when there's no way you could.

People with eating disorders do need to be fixed, and until somebody can recognize that, they will not be able to get better.

Just because we have an eating disorder, doesn't mean we're broken. You fix whats broken.
What people with eating disorders need is patience, persistence, empathy, sympathy, and a confident. We need people that aren't judgmental. We need people that don't believe they know the answer.
We don't need to be fixed.
We need to be understood, and worked with. Baby steps, compromise, and emotional support.
And you need to think about how you're wording things.

cowlover22

Don't take others too seriously. The "smart" people say to eat at least 1200 calories so you body doesn't think there is a food shortage causing your metabolism to slow down. The "smart" people also say to eat your calories but that does not work for me. Do what feels best for you, it is your body. Stay to the minimum and eat as you see fit. Your picture looks just fine. If you wish you can send a friend request.

How can you say this to an admitted anorexic? It is an illness that you obviously do not understand at all.

Yeah I totally agree with you. Dont encourage someone to be unhealthy. If you lived this life of hell you would never want anyone to go through it