So very broken.

justimogen

I started out with 145 to lose and 6 months later I only have 85 left. I can only tell you what worked for me. I NEVER, EVER went there in my mind about the big picture.

^^^^^^^^^^^ I think this is VERY important.

Also, as others have also said, you are not alone.

I am looking at a long road to a 200 pound loss, but I am trying to think of it in terms of 20s. Even my ticker shows 20 pounds at a time. I find this helps.

Just remember the alternative. You can give up now and look back with regret or you can keep going and make steady progress. When you look back on this day a year from now, do you want to realize what could have been if you hadn't stopped or would you rather look back on a year of hard work and a payoff of pounds lost and health gained?

I wish you the very best and hope that you are able to overcome the negative feelings and press on...

homeport51

When I started this program for the umpteenth time, my biggest obstacle was realizing I had to give up my "best friend". They are called comfort foods for a reason. I went through a period of being really angry that I couldn't eat whatever I wanted and be thin. I had to come to resignation and acceptance to move forward and make the changes I needed to make to become healthy.
I am considerably older than you, but the mind set is the same, I think. If I had done it and stuck with it when I was your age, I wouldn't be dealing with other health problems now. You are a smart lady to take it on earlier rather than later.
If you want to cry, go ahead. Think about why you are crying though... try to get to the bottom of it and then face it head on. I have to wonder too if there aren't some hormones at work here. My daughter gets PMS and cries at the drop of a hat once a month. Could that be a factor? You can figure it out, I'm sure and address it. Whatever it is, it won't get better by eating bad food or overeating good food. When you get through this (and I mean WHEN not IF), you will be stronger and better for the next time something comes up that would send you running to the refrigerator before.
Hang in there. Friend me if you would like.

Hammock

There are days when I don't do it right. I know it, but I don't care. Not many, but they're there. The trick is to get back on track by finding the part of yourself that knows this weight loss is possible, and recommit to doing it ...again. For me it is a lot like quitting smoking.For 20 years I smoked at least a pack a day. I tried and tried to quit, but kept going back to smoking. One day I read somewhere that by deep breathing when you feel the urge to smoke, you can make that moment pass on by in a few focused minutes. Doctors say that smokers really don't breath deeply, filling their lungs with delicious air, except when they are dragging on a cigarette. I examined the way I smoked and found that to be very true for me. So whenever I felt the urge to smoke, I sat down or just stayed wherever I was, and started slow, deep breathing following each breath in and out, in and out. While I breathed I repeated a mantra over and over to myself: " I am a smoker who chooses not to smoke." After a bit, the moment passed. Another thing I did was when I felt the urge to smoke, if it was possible to do so, I went out for a brisk walk which would get my heart pumping and my breathing became deep! While walking I repeated that same mantra. This technique worked for me, and I stopped smoking for good 35 years ago. I am still tempted to smoke, and when i feel that pull, I deep breath and say to myself with great pride: "I am a smoker who chooses not to smoke." I keep defining myself as a smoker, for I am, but I choose not to continue that behaviour.

I think the same technique can work for weight loss, too. When you feel tempted to eat something woud shouldn't, distract yourself from that obsession as fast as possible, because the longer you think about what you want to eat, the more it becomes an obsessive thought until you are compelled to follow that urge. Instead, as soon as you feel that old familiar feeling of wanting the experience of eating those french fries or whatever, immediately start the breathing, following the breath in and out (say the words "in" and "out" in your mind as you breath); after you have the breathing going deeper, start the mantra, also under for breath or in your mind as you breath: "I am an overeater who chooses not to overeat." Plain and simple. hear yourself saying this mantra, and after a few minutes the urge will pass enough that you can ignore it and go on with whatever you are doing. The thing that is so effective here is that you are doing for yourself! You are taking responsibilioty for yourself, and are finding a way to acknowledge that you are an overeater who CHOOSES another way to behave! I think that is so very empowering. Later in the day you will think back on that success and be very proud of yourself! The idea of choice is the crucial component. Even if you choose an unhealthy way sometines (we all fail) you can use this focused breathing and choosing mantra as a way back up to the mountaintop again.

I have to start doing that for myself again today. Sometimes I find that I have to work hard with myself, but at other times days go by and I am fine. Go figure! Best of luck with this. If it works for you, God bless!

RhonndaJ

When I started this it was with a goal of losing 230 lbs. I didn't come in to this feeling all gung ho and optimistic. It was more with a sense of resignation, just one more attempt that I figured I was going to fail, regardless of putting 'one last time' in my profile. I was thinking 'one more time'.

I'm now more than 55 days in and I'm still at it and I do actually feel as if this will be my 'one last time'.

For me it's been necessary to do things slowly. I get overwhelmed very easily by change so I'm doing it a little bit at a time and I'm not worrying about the days where I don't do so well. I use them as lessons to see where I slipped up and why, so I can use it to do better in the future.

I haven't given up any foods. But as time has passed I find myself not wanting things I used to in the past. I find that I can't handle the quantities I did in the past. I crave water more than anything else to drink. Change happens, but it happens slowly.

For me, even if I don't lose on a particular week, every day I continue to work on this lifestyle change is a success. I'm human, I'm not perfect, but I'm determined.

I'm one of those that reading other people's successes sometimes depresses me. So on those days I don't read them. I think about my own successes so far. They may be little at the moment, but they're still successes. It helps me to read other people's diaries, there I can see where maybe there are things I could try, or I can see that they have days that aren't so great either and they're still at it. I read the questions and support and I know that I'm not alone in this struggle.

Something that helps me is tracking. I'm such a geek at times. Spreadsheets. Percentages of weight to lose, percentages of start body weight lost.

Other things are affirmations. Sometimes I post them here, sometimes I just have them in my head.

I've broken the loss down to 15lb increments, with a reward after each one. In this I'm taking after my sister and niece, both of who are on here as well, and doing well.

The big picture is overwhelming and scary. Not just the number to lose, but the amount of time it's going to take. I try not to think about them too much. I just think about a closer goal. Maybe I won't make it, but I plan on being closer to it than I am right now.

bootssowhite

One pair of pants at a time girl! Find a pair of pants in your closet, the next size down, and make them your goal. Stick with it, one lb at a time, you CAN do it!

This is great advice. I have a pair of pants a size down from what I currently wear waiting in the closet. I probably need to lose another ten pounds to fit into them, but focusing on that ten pound loss is infinitely easier than focusing on the 110 pound loss I want to make.

Set lots of mini-goals. Success breads more success, or at least it does for me, and the more mini-goals I meet, the more motivated I am for the long haul.

Good luck!

Cait

rileysowner

I don't know that I have anything better to say than what has already been said. You can do it. Keep your eye on the goal, and remember why you are doing this. I would suggest mini-goals as well. 200 is a lot to look at, but break it down a bit with goals that are both weight and health related. Instead of looking at the whole 200 look at the first 25 or 50. Are their physical things you would like to do, fitness goals you would like to achieve. They can motivate you on the way.

Another thing that can help is looking at why you ate the way you did. Sometimes it is what your family lifestyle was. That is what you grew up with. Other times it is looking for something in food that you cannot find in it from emotional support to hiding from the hurts and pains of life. From your profile (at least what I can see of it) you believe in Jesus. Realize that if you a looking to food for things food cannot provide, you should work to seeing and experiencing how Jesus provides those things and can by his grace through faith set you free from that.

DoozerDMB

(((Hugs))) First stop looking at 200lbs! Set small goals...start with 10lbs and treat yourself to something (non-food related) for reaching that. Then set the next goal...maybe 25...again reward yourself.
You CAN do this, but you have to stop looking at the overall picture. Also remember that you can be healthy and still be overweight.
Love Ya!