Controversial topic...just looking for open minded peeps...

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  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Be true to yourself.

    you are in a hard place and done envy you. The end of that day there is NOTHING wrong with you! and should not be made to feel bad or guilty in anyway...........

    you do however need to have support and help to allow you to live your life the way that you want x

    good luck

    Love this!
  • MissConfidence
    MissConfidence Posts: 441
    the only advice I can give is try your hardest not to beat yourself up for feeling this way, and try not to ignore it and let years slip by without directly dealing with your feelings. What you are going through is completely natural. and not to instill doubt or insecurities in you but your husband probably sometimes wonders what if too. we all do, even if it's not the healthiest per se. It is natural. But, it can drive you nuts and doesn't seem like a great way to live your life! It will be hard (i think) to talk to your husband because saying something like that out loud for the first time, especially to your best friend, can feel surreal. But it will open up your mind and direct you in the right path...
  • kendf60
    kendf60 Posts: 234 Member
    Almost everyone has sexual attractions to others outside their marriage be it to the same sex or to the opposite sex. You said that you believe in monogamy. If this is true, you need to figure it out soon by some means. I rarely would suggest counselling but in this case it sounds like a good thing for YOU to do. Life is short and it sounds like your husband is a great guy who deserves to have this figured out quickly so he can be happy too.
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
    Talk to your spouse. I ASSume that he knew going into the marriage your sexual preference. I bet he is willing to experiment to find ways to satisfy your other desires. (trying to keep this PG :laugh: ) Every marriage has it's own rules. You can establish what works for your marriage, but that starts with communication. You've said you are in love with him; I'd hate to see you lose someone that is important to you and to unintentionally hurt him because of sexual desire. :heart: Good Luck sweety!
  • cdowdell
    cdowdell Posts: 2
    Being a male and not a pig. I would say talk to him. He might be open to your feelings. I am married and often time I think about stepping out or cheating. But, I never have. But, temptations are there. Open relationships are everywhere now. I can't think of any man that would be oppose to this type of relationship unless he's into the old time relationships. I"m saying its a choice and No. If my wife was to ask to bring another man into the equation. But if she chooses to bring another woman I might be open depending on what type of person she is. I know a few male friends that have had these kind of relationships. However it is dangerous. Your husband could take to the other women or she to him and leave you in the cold. But the other woman would also have to be open to this also. Wow good luck.
  • PA253LEE
    PA253LEE Posts: 2
    :flowerforyou:
    Oh...Calliope... can we talk, I'm Pat. I had a girlfriend (Kathy) in junior high 9th grade, she was in 10th, the summer between our entering the 10th and she the junior year, she taught me how to deep kiss.... that's what she called it....OH my it felt so natural... I told her how I felt when she kissed me and what I experenced when Mike kissed me ( he was my boyfriend at the time) She droped me as a friend like a hot potato, would turn and walk the other way if I tried to approch her to just talk.... Well that told me what to keep hidden from there on. I know now and suspected then....I was and have always been bisexual, but being from the midwest it was better to conform and boy did I.... The rest of the story...

    I was married for 26 years, divorsed since 1991, I was always yearning for the lost me. I waited until my last child was 25 and out of the house and that's when I finally opened the door and came out to my family and to the world...My husband was totally astounded and had a very hard time dealing with my anouncment.... It would have been so much easier to have been true to myself when I was early into my feelings for the same sex, but I thought I was shelding my family... In hind sight I would have done things different, but you can't live life in reverse. Be honest and true to yourself, if he loves you he will be open to talking about the relationship, good luck to you and your husband.
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