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mcrowe1016
mcrowe1016 Posts: 647 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was just reading a post of someone fifty pounds lighter than me calling him/herself fat. My husband (who weighs more than me, but is much taller and looks like an average weight) also complains that he is fat, and this frustrates me to no end. If this person thinks that they are too big, they must think I am disgusting. When I use this argument with my husband, he rolls his eyes and walks away.

I am not too worried about it. I battled low self esteem in high school, and have pretty much gotten over it. I am just wondering if anyone else ever feels the same way.

Thanks!
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Replies

  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Nope. When they are calling themselves fat, they are calling THEMSELVES fat. This has no reflection on you. You have to take what the person says at face value.

    EDIT: My husband was technically obese when I married him. I didn't look at him and go, "Ewww, what a fatty!" I thought, "This man is yummy and he is the man I want to marry!"

    On the same hand, I was a "healthy weight" and I watched myself gaining some weight, knowing where my body had come from and changed to, and felt like it needed some improvement. I didn't call myself fat, but I knew I needed some work.

    If you don't want him frustrated at you for feeling how you feel, you also need to respect how he feels about his body.
  • sherilyn2
    sherilyn2 Posts: 1
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    People think of themselves harsher then others. That doesn't mean anyone sees you as disgusting. Hang in there.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    You gotta let people vent. It's really not about you. However, I hate when ANYONE calls themselves fat. It's so negative. No matter our starting weight, we all are just trying to improve ourselves and that's okay.
  • jpd10905
    jpd10905 Posts: 43
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    Nope. When they are calling themselves fat, they are calling THEMSELVES fat. This has no reflection on you.

    I agree.
  • AZTrailRunner
    AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I HATE my nose, but my family doesn't see it like I do. We are much tougher on ourselves sometimes, and don't have the same feelings towards others. I don't care if someone else has a big nose, I just HATE mine. :-D
  • pipthegirl
    pipthegirl Posts: 14
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    Pisses me off too. Before I had my baby, I was 5'3 and 120 lbs, not fat at all, so when my 5'2 90 lb friend called herself fat, I always wanted to punch her, and I regularly told her so.
  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
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    Most peope are WAY harder on themselves then they are on anyone around them, if they even notice your weight! Most people are also more self-concerned and more apt to notice their own bodies than yours.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    No. If they are calling themselves fat it is one of two things (and neither have ANYTHING to do with how they see YOU):

    A) They are truly unhappy with their bodies. When they look in the mirror they DO see a fat person looking back at them. Being thin doesn't guarantee a happy body image. People who are thin can still have flaws and be unhappy with themselves.

    B) They are fishing for compliments.

    I weigh 143-145lbs and when I look in the mirror I see so many flaws still. Things I desperately want to change about myself. I'm working on those things but sometimes I have a bad day and think "Dang it. I still look fat".

    Honestly, I don't think about anyone else's weight. I don't look at someone heavier than me and think "You're fat" or "You're disgusting". Not at all. Honestly, I don't notice someone's weight unless THEY bring it up.

    We all have issues with our bodies - whether we are 200lbs or 100lbs. We are our own worst critics.
  • TamiLinc
    TamiLinc Posts: 70 Member
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    This use to bother me as well.. However eveyones image of their own body is always worse than what they think of others.. If you have ever said you are fat... ur doing the same thing.. because there is always someone larger (im not saying you do this... this is just something i have realized)
  • claire_xox
    claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
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    I can understand how it can be annoying but I think being offended by it is a bit extreme. It's all relative to each person. Unless someone turns around and calls you fat just let it go, don't worry about anyone else and concentrate on yourself.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    Pisses me off too. Before I had my baby, I was 5'3 and 120 lbs, not fat at all, so when my 5'2 90 lb friend called herself fat, I always wanted to punch her, and I regularly told her so.

    How the heck is 90 lbs fat?!
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
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    You gotta let people vent. It's really not about you. However, I hate when ANYONE calls themselves fat. It's so negative. No matter our starting weight, we all are just trying to improve ourselves and that's okay.
    A person need to first realize he or she has an issue to fix before they can fix it.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Pisses me off too. Before I had my baby, I was 5'3 and 120 lbs, not fat at all, so when my 5'2 90 lb friend called herself fat, I always wanted to punch her, and I regularly told her so.

    How the heck is 90 lbs fat?!

    Either skinny fat or body dysmorphic disorder.
  • freesiamind
    freesiamind Posts: 1
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    OMG!!! I totally understand what you're saying. I'm a teacher and my students are always saying how they need to lose weight and that they are too fat!! What?????? They weigh 120lbs. and they're fat????? I just don't understand. My smaller friends also say the same thing. I think to myself, if they are FAT then it must mean I am the Good Year blimp!!! I weigh more than all of them. Then I have to realize that we view our own bodies differently from others. We are most critical of ourselves, therefore, when they see themselves as fat they are only feeling the same way we feel about ourselves. It is the "minds eye" and the perception that we see of ourselves with no regards to how someone may think we look. I'm just glad that someone else feels the same way!
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
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    Generally we are our own toughest critics and we are all fighting our own battles. No need to be offended.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Here's the way I see it: I'm fat. I'm not happy with my current body. But I have no problem being friends with people fatter than I am. I generally assume people thinner than me have no problem being friends with me, either.

    I live with two girls who wear XS, and one of them often complains about how she wants to lose from her tummy and legs... (both fat AND muscle) While I don't support her desire to lose muscle, I don't mind her complaining in front of me.

    I'm also an artist. Artists tend to STRONGLY focus on the flaws of their work rather than the good parts. That doesn't mean artists don't enjoy works from other artists of their caliber, or even works from less skilled artists.
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
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    Here's the way I see it: I'm fat. I'm not happy with my current body. But I have no problem being friends with people fatter than I am. I generally assume people thinner than me have no problem being friends with me, either.

    I live with two girls who wear XS, and one of them often complains about how she wants to lose from her tummy and legs... (both fat AND muscle) While I don't support her desire to lose muscle, I don't mind her complaining in front of me.

    I'm also an artist. Artists tend to STRONGLY focus on the flaws of their work rather than the good parts. That doesn't mean artists don't enjoy works from other artists of their caliber, or even works from less skilled artists.
    ....and Chaco still wuvs you!!
  • pipthegirl
    pipthegirl Posts: 14
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    Pisses me off too. Before I had my baby, I was 5'3 and 120 lbs, not fat at all, so when my 5'2 90 lb friend called herself fat, I always wanted to punch her, and I regularly told her so.

    How the heck is 90 lbs fat?!

    That was my answer. If anything, she was far too skinny. I used to jab her in the ribs and when she'd say oww, I'd tell her to put some meat on her bones. When she was on a diet, I'd invite her over and cook her her diet food, and stick butter in the fat free margerine container, and add extra stuff when she wasn't looking. After three weeks on her diet, eating at my house, she weighed 97 lbs, and threw a fit.
  • tauny78
    tauny78 Posts: 180 Member
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    I understand what you mean, but everyone has made good points. Most people (skinny and not-so-skinny) have things they don't like about themselves. So, I guess everyone has a right to complain huh? Adversely, I get frustrated when I talk about losing weight to a friend, and them telling me that I'm great the way I am. Sure, I can be somewhat happy with my body, but I know the truth: I am OVERWEIGHT! And I don't wish to be anymore. Why can't they admit that and be supportive of that? It's great that they want to be supportive of who I am and how I look now, but don't try to make me feel like I'm "perfect" how I am and that I shouldn't change. I'm a grown up, and I can take the truth.
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
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    get over it.
    if you are 50 or 150 lbs over weight..youre fat.

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