I need advice... talking to this girl online
ThermalYew1
Posts: 64 Member
Okay well I've been talking to this girl online for almost 2 weeks through PlentyOfFish.com. She seems like a real nice girl. The first time we chated on the site she gave me my cell and I told her that I'd like to get to know someone first before we talk/text over the phone and I think that gained me a few bonus points. But now the thing is...its been almost 2 weeks that she messaged me and it seems like we've hardly even talked... she did say she's busy but I'd like to get to know her better ya know? There are a few days (like now) that she hasn't went on the site and messaged me. Could it be that she's just not that interested? I mean I think if she wanted to get to know me she'd at least sign in quickly and send me a quick message... again she did tell me she is quite busy a lot of times with teaching, and coaching and a lot of other things... should I tell her that I feel comfortable enough to start texting now???
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Replies
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Just text her. She probably wants to get to know YOU, not your online persona.0
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It's possible that she's not able to get ONLINE to start with.
Text her.0 -
Text her - you have nothing to lose. If she's not interested anymore, it's better to find out now. But if she is interested, you have everything to gain. Good luck
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Just got for it dude.
I met my current boyfriend through plentyoffish.com.
It has been one the best relationships I have ever had. That is saying alot as I have been enganged in the past, but feel a stronger connection to my current boyfriend.
Life is about taking chances. If you don't roll the dice, then you will never know if you won or not0 -
Yeah.. maybe... I think the next time she messages me back (its her turn lol) I'm gonna to tell her it doesn't seem like I'm getting to know her too good if it's cool if we can talk/text over the phone. She seems like an awesome person and I really want to get to know her.0
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kick to the curb, don't waste your time with women bs.0
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Text her, she's probably busy with life - logging on isn't always top of people's priorities - and I say this as somebody who met her partner online ;D As for "it's her turn", if you like her, who cares? Don't play silly games, if you want to text her, text her.0
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Okay, so a little rant before my advice: I hate when people say that with online dating, "I've been really busy", because they haven't contacted you. I sort of feel like that's an excuse. I met my husband online and really, we were both interested so we both made the effort. Not that she's making an excuse, she may be perfectly busy especially if she's not logging into the site. I'm just sayin.
Anyway, my rant is over.
Now my advice... definitely if you feel comfortable, text her. That may open a better line of communication for her. Bonus for you!0 -
Just got for it dude.
I met my current boyfriend through plentyoffish.com.
It has been one the best relationships I have ever had. That is saying alot as I have been enganged in the past, but feel a stronger connection to my current boyfriend.
Life is about taking chances. If you don't roll the dice, then you will never know if you won or not
really?? I practly given up on POF cause I've had an account for quite awhile and no body has messaged me, A few did but they just weren't my type.... I messaged a few and got nothing back... and then she messaged me and she seems like an awesome person! ...but I just think getting to know each other is going kind of slow.
Thats true about taking chances... I just hope that if we ever do meet face to face that she likes me... IDK... for some reason I just can't make friends easily... no girl has really even paid attention to me either...0 -
before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!0
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You are so silly. Just go for it. POF is a fast website unfortunately.
Please note, I looked at your profile on here and you look good. You have nothing to be insecure about.
You have made a huge improvement in your life, and oddly are quite local to me =p
Women I think get more messages then men do on that website. Mainly just due to hormones ~.^ So if she messaged you she is already interested in your. Just send the message. Blame me if it doesn't work out =p0 -
So much this.As for "it's her turn", if you like her, who cares? Don't play silly games, if you want to text her, text her.
And as for the getting to know each other going a little slow ... you have to bear in mind that you opted for the more "archaic" form of communication.
Granted, this method does cut down on text-regret.
Don't go into a date with someone online "hoping she likes [you]" ... Go into it hoping to have a little fun and conversation. Be collected and just learn about each other.
Personally I would be all for meeting relatively quickly after contact has been made in an online sitch. I would want to have something to discuss in person and not want things to get weird because she expected something entirely different ...0 -
You are so silly. Just go for it. POF is a fast website unfortunately.
Please note, I looked at your profile on here and you look good. You have nothing to be insecure about.
You have made a huge improvement in your life, and oddly are quite local to me =p
Women I think get more messages then men do on that website. Mainly just due to hormones ~.^ So if she messaged you she is already interested in your. Just send the message. Blame me if it doesn't work out =p
This.
Great advice!!!0 -
I think if she gave you her cell #, she doesn't mind you texting/calling her lol just be like "hey, this it's __________. wanted to see how you're doing since we haven't really talked much lately. (then add something that will grab her attention and make her want to respond)" tadaaahhhh! hahaha0
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You are so silly. Just go for it. POF is a fast website unfortunately.
Please note, I looked at your profile on here and you look good. You have nothing to be insecure about.
You have made a huge improvement in your life, and oddly are quite local to me =p
Women I think get more messages then men do on that website. Mainly just due to hormones ~.^ So if she messaged you she is already interested in your. Just send the message. Blame me if it doesn't work out =p
the thing i'm insecure about is my stomach... idk why that part just bothers me lol! But your right... I just don't want it to go too far OR too slow you know? That is crazy how close we r to each other lol!0 -
you guys are right LOL!... I have 0 and I mean 0 a game when it comes to girls LOL! ><0
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Any man and get any girl if they are confident enough.
Just remember that.
The only thing holding you back is your thoughts and fears.0 -
you guys are right LOL!... I have 0 and I mean 0 a game when it comes to girls LOL! ><
Okay, so listen. I dated nobody in my twenties. I was so fat, depressed, and had such low self esteem that I didn't want to meet anyone, nor did I think that anyone would remotely be interested in me. I lost 90lbs and decided to take the risk, my insecurities still clinging. But I met the right person, and he loves me with all my faults - I still struggle with them especially since I've gained the weight back.
Just go into it thinking about how much more confident you are becoming. She will respond the way she responds, you can't control it. But you may just be pleasantly surprised, too
) And remember you're just talking, not getting married yet! 0 -
you guys are right LOL!... I have 0 and I mean 0 a game when it comes to girls LOL! ><
Okay, so listen. I dated nobody in my twenties. I was so fat, depressed, and had such low self esteem that I didn't want to meet anyone, nor did I think that anyone would remotely be interested in me. I lost 90lbs and decided to take the risk, my insecurities still clinging. But I met the right person, and he loves me with all my faults - I still struggle with them especially since I've gained the weight back.
Just go into it thinking about how much more confident you are becoming. She will respond the way she responds, you can't control it. But you may just be pleasantly surprised, too) And remember you're just talking, not getting married yet!
Thats true... I decided to try POF cause I'm just not meeting anyone in my everyday life. It's summer college is out and didnt meet anyone during my first semester and at work I'm just not into anyone there... so much drama that it's not even worth my time... it just seems like I will never meet anyone...0 -
Any man and get any girl if they are confident enough.
Just remember that.
The only thing holding you back is your thoughts and fears.
Aaah IDK about that lol! ...I wish that was true but IDK about that lol! But thats true about thoughts and fears!0 -
Don't freak out silly... girls love receiving texts! Especially from a guy that we have given our phone number to. Text away! Get to know her! Make a date and go out and see how it goes. Sometimes online things work out, sometimes they don't. I've met people online that I've really clicked with and some people that weren't who they said they were...you just gotta keep fishing! That's why they call it plenty of fish 0
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The many should initiate contact, that's the norm. If she is giving you excuses... one is understandable, but 2 or 3? Drop her, if she is interested, she will come back. When a girl expect me the one to always be calling/texting/messanging her, and she never returns that. I don't bother with her. I studied this entire mating/courtship/female psychology for 2yrs. Yes it's true women love it when you cal/text them, but that's it. It just feeds their ego, and you lose more of your power, masculinity. The more you chase a woman, the more likely... she will walk all over you. Find someone who isn't down for that bs, who cares for you just as much as you care for them.0
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This coming from the guy who said earlier.kick to the curb, don't waste your time with women bs.
It is hard when you are just getting back out there. When you start dating again. Took me almost 3 yrs after my faincee to get back out there. To truely be able to open up to another person.
Some woman wouldn't take advantage of a guy who txt's or calls her. Chasing or not chasing is all childs play and games.
It should be about chemistry. If it is there then it is. If it is not then that can not be helped and you keep looking.0 -
This coming from the guy who said earlier.kick to the curb, don't waste your time with women bs.
It is hard when you are just getting back out there. When you start dating again. Took me almost 3 yrs after my faincee to get back out there. To truely be able to open up to another person.
Some woman wouldn't take advantage of a guy who txt's or calls her. Chasing or not chasing is all childs play and games.
It should be about chemistry. If it is there then it is. If it is not then that can not be helped and you keep looking.
Yes it is all childs games, and it should be based on chemistry, if she's not responding to well, she's playiing games, or there is no chemistry.0 -
before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!
CHILL OUT. just send her a message like hey, it's <name here> from PoF. Just thought I'd check I took your number down correctly. How are you doing?
Don't ask her what she's been upto lately, she may interpret it as "Why no message me online waaaagh" and don't be like "oh um is it ok for me to send you this / hope you don't mind" - being apologetic is a real turn off. You can be polite without being apologetic! BE CONFIDENT! Good luck
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The first time we chated on the site she gave me my cell and I told her that I'd like to get to know someone first before we talk/text over the phone and I think that gained me a few bonus points.
So the first time you chatted she gave you her number but you blew her off saying you wanted to get to know her better online first and you think that got you brownie points?
Errrr, why exactly? Women don't tend to give out their number just for fun and to any old person. They give it out because they are interested to some degree AT THAT TIME and want you to act on it (well unless you are a moron in a bar who can't tell you are hassling a lady so they get given a fake number...)
You've knocked her back and to make matters worse you have left her hanging for two weeks. Really? If I were that women I would be thinking: he can't be bothered (not attractive) he's unsure of himself or what he wants (pain in the *kitten*) he's got other women on the go so he can't make time to chat to me (playaaaaa)
Seems like she was interested but that maybe dropping off as you hang around forever and a day getting your act together.
It's simple. Grab your nuts. Be a man. Text her. Accept the consequences whatever they may be. Move forwards.0 -
Put your phone down. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Take a walk in the park. Maybe you'll meet a real person. One that wants to relate outside the realm of cyberspace.
I don't even know how to text and I'm getting laid.0 -
As a woman, I agree 100% with the following:Women don't tend to give out their number just for fun and to any old person. They give it out because they are interested to some degree AT THAT TIME and want you to act on it (well unless you are a moron in a bar who can't tell you are hassling a lady so they get given a fake number...)
Seems like she was interested but that maybe dropping off as you hang around forever and a day getting your act together.
If I give a guy my phone number, it means I want him to call me. Not text me. Not Facebook me. Not wait around for me to message him on some website because it's my "turn" to contact him. I want him to pick up the phone and call me. And if he drops the ball and doesn't call me, then I assume he's not interested in me, and I move on.
And I'll let you in on another secret about women: if we really like you, we are NEVER too busy to make time for you. A woman will drop everything just to take a phone call from a man she's interested in. So all this "Oh, I'm really busy with work" stuff is a front. A person who is so busy she doesn't have time to talk to a guy is not going to have her profile on an online dating website.
Furthermore, although I don't do the online dating thing myself, I don't think there's anything wrong with it if both people have honest intentions from the start. But that means you have to set up some kind of face-to-face meeting pretty much immediately. You cannot "get to know" someone through e-mails and texts and messages, and the longer you put off meeting each other, the more awkward things are going to get (unless you're okay with having an internet girlfriend forever). It's no different than if you met some chick in the produce section at the grocery store and she gave you her number; would you keep texting her and e-mailing her for weeks on end because you want to "get to know" her, or would you call her and ask her on a date?It's simple. Grab your nuts. Be a man. Text her. Accept the consequences whatever they may be. Move forwards.
I agree with this, too, but I say call her instead of texting her. You have her phone number. Just do it. Call her and ask her to meet you for coffee or lunch. Suggest a place and time that's in broad daylight with lots of other people around so she can't pull the "I don't feel safe" card. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If she balks, then give up and move on.0 -
before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!
CHILL OUT. just send her a message like hey, it's <name here> from PoF. Just thought I'd check I took your number down correctly. How are you doing?
Don't ask her what she's been upto lately, she may interpret it as "Why no message me online waaaagh" and don't be like "oh um is it ok for me to send you this / hope you don't mind" - being apologetic is a real turn off. You can be polite without being apologetic! BE CONFIDENT! Good luck
I agree with this suggestion. What's the worst case scenario, nothing that bad....0 -
Put your phone down. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Take a walk in the park. Maybe you'll meet a real person. One that wants to relate outside the realm of cyberspace.
I don't even know how to text and I'm getting laid.
OMG this is the greatest advice ever!!!!!!!!!!!! You made me laugh! I would give you a high 5 if i could! Words of Wisdom!0
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