I need advice... talking to this girl online

myofibril

And I'll let you in on another secret about women: if we really like you, we are NEVER too busy to make time for you. A woman will drop everything just to take a phone call from a man she's interested in. So all this "Oh, I'm really busy with work" stuff is a front. A person who is so busy she doesn't have time to talk to a guy is not going to have her profile on an online dating website.

Exactly. You get a much better indicator of someone's level of interest in you by their actions rather than what they say. If a woman is attracted to you she will make it pretty easy for you to arrange a meeting or to be with her. This works in other areas as well. If you are out and a woman likes what she sees she will manage to plonk herself in your immediate vicinity at some point so you can strike up a conversation or will give you a sign that she welcomes your attention. Then it's your job not to say or do anything too stupid. Job done.

I agree with this, too, but I say call her instead of texting her.

Actually, this is a better idea. Cuts out all the faffing...

ThermalYew1

Yea.. I'm pretty much given up on her... but now theres this other girl... who is practically my twin!!! I have never met anyone ANYONE who I could relate to so much... but the problem is... she works with my friend and I just friend requested her on FB and I was gonna leave it as that but then she messages me and we just talk and talk and talk... and it's been such a short time and... yeah... we're already starting to plan to hang out... BUT.... my friend likes her and as much as I like her.... I'm still trying to help him out with this girl... she does have a boyfriend though but it doesn't sound like they have a good relationship.... It's starting to get harder and harder the more I get to know her though.. she's like amazing... exactly what I've been looking for and I kinda get the feeling she feels the same way about me...

ItsCasey

She has a boyfriend AND your friend likes her, too? Recipe for disaster. And this comes one day after you tell us you're still into some chick you met online who keeps blowing you off.

I'm not trying to be judgmental here, but it sounds to me like you're not emotionally ready for a serious relationship. I'm sensing a pattern of "boy meets girl, girl shows some interest, boy thinks girl is exactly what he's been looking for, girl backs off, boy realizes girl has something else going on, boy looks for the next girl who is exactly what he's been looking for." Wash, rinse, repeat.

Why would you even consider trespassing on some other guy's territory, especially when the girl appears to be perfectly okay with flirting with other guys behind her boyfriend's back? That's the kind of woman you've always been looking for? You can do better.

Don't even get me started on the friend thing. You've been playing wingman with this girl for your friend, and now you're going to screw him over?

BEERRUNNER

Put your phone down. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Take a walk in the park. Maybe you'll meet a real person. One that wants to relate outside the realm of cyberspace.

I don't even know how to text and I'm getting laid.

Yeah I agree with the guy who wrote this above me............................ OR just throw your computer out the window and flush your cell phone down the toilet. Learning to interact face to face should be step 1 before taking into Cyberspace.
Just my .2 cents

brewingaz

before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!

Just f*ckin' do it anyways. She's a chick, she wants some balls, not a p*ssy. She'll be happy you took initiative.

EmilySG2011

Dating was so much easier before cellphones and computers. Communication skills were so much stronger and people could actually carry on decent conversation. Now there are so many more opportunities to meet people---yet people seem to be having a much harder time finding someone. I just don't understand. Dating really shouldn't be as hard as people make it. However, women like men with coinfidence---so what do you have to lose? If you want to talk to her then text her---what's the worst thing that could happen? Good Luck!:flowerforyou:

TheNewLK

before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!

Just f*ckin' do it anyways. She's a chick, she wants some balls, not a p*ssy. She'll be happy you took initiative.

Haha I love a man who takes control

Chiquita_Banana

before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!

Just f*ckin' do it anyways. She's a chick, she wants some balls, not a p*ssy. She'll be happy you took initiative.

Haha I love a man who takes control

as do i lol lover u sarry

abbyko

As a woman, I agree 100% with the following:

Women don't tend to give out their number just for fun and to any old person. They give it out because they are interested to some degree AT THAT TIME and want you to act on it (well unless you are a moron in a bar who can't tell you are hassling a lady so they get given a fake number...)

Seems like she was interested but that maybe dropping off as you hang around forever and a day getting your act together.

If I give a guy my phone number, it means I want him to call me. Not text me. Not Facebook me. Not wait around for me to message him on some website because it's my "turn" to contact him. I want him to pick up the phone and call me. And if he drops the ball and doesn't call me, then I assume he's not interested in me, and I move on.

And I'll let you in on another secret about women: if we really like you, we are NEVER too busy to make time for you. A woman will drop everything just to take a phone call from a man she's interested in. So all this "Oh, I'm really busy with work" stuff is a front. A person who is so busy she doesn't have time to talk to a guy is not going to have her profile on an online dating website.

Furthermore, although I don't do the online dating thing myself, I don't think there's anything wrong with it if both people have honest intentions from the start. But that means you have to set up some kind of face-to-face meeting pretty much immediately. You cannot "get to know" someone through e-mails and texts and messages, and the longer you put off meeting each other, the more awkward things are going to get (unless you're okay with having an internet girlfriend forever). It's no different than if you met some chick in the produce section at the grocery store and she gave you her number; would you keep texting her and e-mailing her for weeks on end because you want to "get to know" her, or would you call her and ask her on a date?

It's simple. Grab your nuts. Be a man. Text her. Accept the consequences whatever they may be. Move forwards.

I agree with this, too, but I say call her instead of texting her. You have her phone number. Just do it. Call her and ask her to meet you for coffee or lunch. Suggest a place and time that's in broad daylight with lots of other people around so she can't pull the "I don't feel safe" card. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If she balks, then give up and move on.

Yes! I totally agree with this. Go for it. I'm not against a bit of texting first but don't let it go on for too long otherwise you'll just be stuck in a weird texting relationship.

BEERRUNNER

Put your phone down. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Take a walk in the park. Maybe you'll meet a real person. One that wants to relate outside the realm of cyberspace.

I don't even know how to text and I'm getting laid.

Yeah I agree with the guy who wrote this above me............................ OR just throw your computer out the window and flush your cell phone down the toilet. Learning to interact face to face should be step 1 before taking into Cyberspace.
Just my .2 cents

SoFLYFireman

Go for it brotha! She may be busy, but if she starts giving excises over text, drop her. Dont let a girl play you. Its not worth it, ive been through that crap twice in the past month and its not worth it at all. If shes good for you shell ne happy you texted her.

Good luck bro

Drunkadelic

Yea.. I'm pretty much given up on her... but now theres this other girl... who is practically my twin!!! I have never met anyone ANYONE who I could relate to so much... but the problem is... she works with my friend and I just friend requested her on FB and I was gonna leave it as that but then she messages me and we just talk and talk and talk... and it's been such a short time and... yeah... we're already starting to plan to hang out... BUT.... my friend likes her and as much as I like her.... I'm still trying to help him out with this girl... she does have a boyfriend though but it doesn't sound like they have a good relationship.... It's starting to get harder and harder the more I get to know her though.. she's like amazing... exactly what I've been looking for and I kinda get the feeling she feels the same way about me...

So um, yea... I was the girl in this almost exact situation.

I dated a complete loser for about 2 years during college. During that time, I had (still do have) a group of guy friends that I always hung out with and were really close to. Then again, I've had mostly guy friends since middle school so that's not really a strange thing for me. Well, the longer I dated this loser, the less I could hang out with my friends because he was extremely jealous. I got further and further away from them and spent almost a year where I barely got to talk to them. Well, duh, that relationship ended (and badly). So after I picked myself up and dusted myself off, my guy friends were right back to help me out and be supportive. So everything was back to normal. I was always at their place during the week and the weekend, I kept all my boose at their house, slept on their couch, went out to eat with them, worked out with them - you know things that friends do together. Well after a bit I started to develop a bit of feelings for one of the guys and we started seeing each other in secret. It was really hard to get away with, but we did if for almost 3 months. We didn't want our friends to know because we thought it would make things weird. Then, the closer we got to graduation, not one but TWO of my other guy friends pulled me aside and told me they had feelings for me. I was flabbergasted. I guess I should have known but I'm so clueless about stuff like that. Well, I had been in this situation before and handled it completely wrong so I knew I had to be a big girl and handle it right. This is basically what I told them both:

"Look, I really like you. You are one of my best friends but I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you. I am so sorry, especially if I lead you on. It was really unintentional. I really hope this doesn't mess up our relationship because you really are one of my closest friends and I do not want to lose that."

It was awkward for a few days, but everything went right back to normal. My boyfriend (yes he's still my boyfriend) and I finally made our relationship known and everything was fine. I was beyond happy about it because I thought there was no other way that situation would end up than having lost a bunch of friends that I love dearly.

So my advice to you from someone who has been there. Just be completely honest! If you like this girl and think she is the perfect match for you, there is no reason you should not go for it. Get to know her, see what kind of chemistry is there and if you both realize you want to date, then you BOTH have to have that tough conversation with your friend like adults. If he can't deal or understand, he will eventually come around. If he doesn't, then he isn't such a good friend.

Good luck with everything! I love to hear about blossoming love. It brightens my day

NA_Willie

Put your phone down. Turn off your computer. Go outside. Take a walk in the park. Maybe you'll meet a real person. One that wants to relate outside the realm of cyberspace.

I don't even know how to text and I'm getting laid.

This man just laid some straight truth on your @ss.

BEERRUNNER

Yeah I agree with the guy who wrote this above me............................ OR just throw your computer out the window and flush your cell phone down the toilet. Learning to interact face to face should be step 1 before taking into Cyberspace.
Just my .2 cents :bigsmile:

_beachgirl_

Duh! If she gave you her number.....she is interested! Her feelings may have gotten hurt when you didn't text her! TEXT HER! Now, don't wait! The worst that can happen is that you already blew it and she's moved on and won't text you back.

LushLoni

Yea.. I'm pretty much given up on her... but now theres this other girl... who is practically my twin!!! I have never met anyone ANYONE who I could relate to so much... but the problem is... she works with my friend and I just friend requested her on FB and I was gonna leave it as that but then she messages me and we just talk and talk and talk... and it's been such a short time and... yeah... we're already starting to plan to hang out... BUT.... my friend likes her and as much as I like her.... I'm still trying to help him out with this girl... she does have a boyfriend though but it doesn't sound like they have a good relationship.... It's starting to get harder and harder the more I get to know her though.. she's like amazing... exactly what I've been looking for and I kinda get the feeling she feels the same way about me...

oh my god, go get the girl for goodness sake... it can be a rollercoaster of emotions but you know what, love is love, do it.

koosdel

before I text her I'm gonna ask her if it's okay if we take it to that level before I message her. I don't want her to be like who is this?? LOL!

Grow some cajones!!!

Trust me. She will think your a whiney wuss if you're all "If you don't mind, and aren't busy, would it maybe be possibly...."

They like it when you aren't afraid of them.