Double Standards (minor rant)

jagh09

Oh, that's so frustrating! I'm sorry your family aren't more supportive. Maybe they think they're complimenting you? Or they're just jealous of what you've accomplished. You look gorgeous and healthy. You are happy, right? Don't worry about what other people say/think. People have a comment about everything you do, it's so silly. Live your life the way you want to and just be proud of who you are and the committment you've made to a healthier life!

heathersmilez

There are lots of rants on MFP about this double standard but I haven’t yet heard anyone actually telling their family that it is THEY who are unhealthy and overweight. Especially when it's family (so you should be comfortable to say anything and forgive and forget later), why sit there and take it? Tell them why THEY are unhealthy, comment on the imperfections they have if they point out your thinness as a flaw. Don't look to US for support and to boost you back up, we're just strangers on the internet so if you are getting your self esteem from us.... well.... not a good life plan.

Bruzzeseangel

Next time someone says something nasty about you losing weight, say something nasty about them finding it :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I am in LOVE with this comment hahaha

SMarie10

I know you took what they said as criticism, but I would be jumping for joy if someone told me I looked too skinny. I'd just start saying "thank you, thank you, and my thighs thank you too" - People can only piss you off if you let them.

CMH24

I got that too... They ask why I want to continue to lose weight and that I'm already WAY too skinny. I HONESTLY think it's not jealousy. I think it is that they are so used to seeing you bigger, that they're trying to adjust and don't know how to handle it. I think it is no different than someone getting plastic surgery... oh why was that boob job necessary, they're too big, they look too fake. BUT they're picked on for having no chest before. It is a double standard and if they're REALLY friends and family they should be supporting you and your decision, because this is one to get healthy.. not just vanity!

Just be proud of how you look and don't let it get to you!! It is YOUR life, not theirs.

jenniferjgayfield

Sorry you got that feedback from your in-laws...mine always think I am too fat, but they are blessed with a super metabolism where they are all on the lowest end or lower of their healthy weight range. 111 seems low to me, I am 5'4" 133 right now, but it is about how one's body carries the weight, and your body frame, type, etc. I am trying to get to the mid/high 120s and know that my body can't go lower than that without looking anorexic, although my family thinks I've got to stop because they've never seen me this size. You look petite and beautiful, slender, but not anorexic. Sorry you had to deal with that, but just know that as long as you are happy and healthy, nothing else matters.

Lunachic77

There are lots of rants on MFP about this double standard but I haven’t yet heard anyone actually telling their family that it is THEY who are unhealthy and overweight. Especially when it's family (so you should be comfortable to say anything and forgive and forget later), why sit there and take it? Tell them why THEY are unhealthy, comment on the imperfections they have if they point out your thinness as a flaw. Don't look to US for support and to boost you back up, we're just strangers on the internet so if you are getting your self esteem from us.... well.... not a good life plan.

Not looking for support or a boost, merely ranting about the experience and seeing if anyone has experienced the same thing. I wasn't "hurt" by their comments just kind of taken back by them. Also, they are not my immediate family, they are in-laws and I think it would be disrespectful to my husband if I insulted his family while I was a guest at their house. I feel fantastic about my achievements and my health and no one can take that away from me.

tladame

I got that too... They ask why I want to continue to lose weight and that I'm already WAY too skinny. I HONESTLY think it's not jealousy. I think it is that they are so used to seeing you bigger, that they're trying to adjust and don't know how to handle it.

Yup. I think when people see someone else getting thinner, it makes them feel fatter. I think my personal perspective of others changes as my own weight changes. When I'm heavier, everyone looks skinny to me. And when I am thinner, those same people seem larger to me somehow. Weird. (However, I would never make a rude comment to anyone about their weight, whether they had gained weight or lost weight.)

CynthiaS

Family.. no matter what you do you will be judged... measured and found wanting... You can choose your friends but are stuck with family... shake it off (easier said than done) and do what YOU know to be best for YOU...

I totally agree !!

pitbullmama

congrats on your weight lost first off! People tend to be jerks no matter what. Take me, im a big guy and i have lost lil over 30 so far. I was feeling good about it ya kno? then someone close to me says this "Good job but your so fat, you shouldnt eat at all, you have more then enough to lose." Screw them people, good job to you!

"Ya you're right. I really don't need this knuckle sandwich. How about I give it to you instead"
Some people are such jerks!

Nailrep

JEALOUS. Period.