I am so mad right now...
I hate reading people's venting and ranting on the message boards. If you don't like reading that kind of stuff, then please, click out of here now. I just am insanely mad right now about a private message that I got, and I wanted to post something about it...just to get it off my chest.
First of all, I would like to say that I would never send any of you a private message telling you that I don't think that your goals can ever be attained, especially since I don't personally know you outside of a social website. I don't know what your underlying goals are, and I don't know who you are working with or even how hard you are working to attain your goals. What I do know is that if you are trying to lose body fat, I will cheer you on. If you are trying to lose pounds, I will cheer you on. If you want to gain muscle, I will cheer you on. Tearing people down for their goals is totally against what this website is even here for!
Secondly, I shouldn't even have to explain my goals to you, or anyone else out there. They are MY goals, not yours. But since I am riled up because of the message I was sent, I guess I will do that so perhaps one person can be prevented from writing me a private message and trying to ruin my day. Yes, my goal is to have 12% body fat. Yes, this is perfectly acceptable and attainable, no matter what YOU tell me. I've told numerous people that I don't want merely to lose weight and be thin. I've told people that I want to be lean and athletic. But what I haven't told people is that I want to walk across the stage competing in fitness and figure competitions. It's not explicitly expressed on my page, but then again, you won't be reading about my whole life's worth of goals, dreams, and aspirations in a 2-3 paragraph blog on my MFP profile page either!!!
I don't think 18% body fat is a bad goal for anyone to have! It used to be MY goal before I decided that I wanted to compete. You can be very slim and lean at that body fat %, no doubt! In my picture, I was 20% body fat. But, you couldn't see the muscle definition that I was looking for, and there wasn't even a hint of a six pack even starting to show up at all. Sure, I looked great in my size 6 clothes and I was rockin' those bikinis on the beach. And that's all wonderful, but my goals are bigger than just losing weight to look good in small clothes...
As many of you know, I am a police officer. One fellow police officer that I have worked with for 3 years (her name is Alison) is a fitness competitor. She is absolutely gorgeous. She has...guess what? Size 2 clothes and 12% body fat. She's slightly taller than me (by only 1 inch). If she can do it, SO CAN I. I've received a lot of help and motivation from her.
I found a friend here on MFP who, oh my goodness, has 12% body fat and wears size 2 clothes. She's also just 1 inch taller than me. You can check out her MFP page if you like, she is stephanielynn76. I hope she doesn't mind, lol! But she started out...at guess what? MY CURRENT SIZE AND WEIGHT. So, don't you dare tell me that I can't reach my goals, when this woman, for example, has achieved the body that I want starting out exactly like I am starting out!!! And just look at her profile picture...abs and other definition poppin' out everywhere. Just like I want.
I joined Tom Venuto's website earlier this year and made friends with people who have read his book "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" and went through his program. They started out like me, not really over weight in an unhealthy way, but looking to improve their physique anyway, and you know what happened after they following his recommendations? They ended up with, you guessed it, the same look that I am after and a low body fat % and smaller clothes. Look at his website, for crying out loud! The women that go through his program are not looking to lose weight and look like Jessica Biel (not that it's a bad thing, just not MY personal goal) then end up looking like figure competitors and often times that's exactly what they become!
If you don't like my goals, don't message me about it. Just cheer me on and keep me accountable. I am certainly not starving myself by eating between 1500 and 1800 calories a day. I am also not overtraining by spending less than 1 hour per day in the gym, and no more than 5 days a week. I am losing body fat, but I am retaining lean muscle. When I get low enough body fat, then I will work hard to build muscle by adding more calories and cutting out some cardio so I can concentrate on heavy lifting. You might think that my goals are unattainable. You might think they are impossible. But that is exactly what limits YOU, not me. Because I WILL REACH MY GOALS!!! I have seen multiple other people reach my goals, and now it is my turn. If I were to send that personal message to any one of my bodybuilder friends, they'd laugh at it wholeheartedly.
Perhaps goals like mine are more suited for Venuto's Inner Circle website or Bodybuilding.com. But I thought that since this is My FITNESS Pal, they'd be appreciated here, too. I am not crash dieting, fad dieting, over training, taking steroids, or anything else ridiculous like that. I am not belittling your goals, you shouldn't belittle mine.
I am sure there are others out there like me...other healthy people who are made fun of for having healthy goals...but I suppose I was wrong to assume that I wouldn't meet such negative people on this website. I hope it doesn't happen to any of you.
If you read this whole rant, I appreciate it. I certainly don't like reading most other rants on these boards, but then again, mine is different from theirs...I am not trying to tear anyone down. I am trying to prevent me, or anyone else, from being torn down simply for posting goals that are different than most other people's goals. Sad that I even had to add a paragraph to my profile explaining this.
Yes, some people ARE at a healthy weight and BMI trying to become more fit. Since when did this website only become a place that can only be used by overweight people whose goals are to be at a healthy weight? Can the rest of us not track our food intake? Hmmm...
First of all, I would like to say that I would never send any of you a private message telling you that I don't think that your goals can ever be attained, especially since I don't personally know you outside of a social website. I don't know what your underlying goals are, and I don't know who you are working with or even how hard you are working to attain your goals. What I do know is that if you are trying to lose body fat, I will cheer you on. If you are trying to lose pounds, I will cheer you on. If you want to gain muscle, I will cheer you on. Tearing people down for their goals is totally against what this website is even here for!
Secondly, I shouldn't even have to explain my goals to you, or anyone else out there. They are MY goals, not yours. But since I am riled up because of the message I was sent, I guess I will do that so perhaps one person can be prevented from writing me a private message and trying to ruin my day. Yes, my goal is to have 12% body fat. Yes, this is perfectly acceptable and attainable, no matter what YOU tell me. I've told numerous people that I don't want merely to lose weight and be thin. I've told people that I want to be lean and athletic. But what I haven't told people is that I want to walk across the stage competing in fitness and figure competitions. It's not explicitly expressed on my page, but then again, you won't be reading about my whole life's worth of goals, dreams, and aspirations in a 2-3 paragraph blog on my MFP profile page either!!!
I don't think 18% body fat is a bad goal for anyone to have! It used to be MY goal before I decided that I wanted to compete. You can be very slim and lean at that body fat %, no doubt! In my picture, I was 20% body fat. But, you couldn't see the muscle definition that I was looking for, and there wasn't even a hint of a six pack even starting to show up at all. Sure, I looked great in my size 6 clothes and I was rockin' those bikinis on the beach. And that's all wonderful, but my goals are bigger than just losing weight to look good in small clothes...
As many of you know, I am a police officer. One fellow police officer that I have worked with for 3 years (her name is Alison) is a fitness competitor. She is absolutely gorgeous. She has...guess what? Size 2 clothes and 12% body fat. She's slightly taller than me (by only 1 inch). If she can do it, SO CAN I. I've received a lot of help and motivation from her.
I found a friend here on MFP who, oh my goodness, has 12% body fat and wears size 2 clothes. She's also just 1 inch taller than me. You can check out her MFP page if you like, she is stephanielynn76. I hope she doesn't mind, lol! But she started out...at guess what? MY CURRENT SIZE AND WEIGHT. So, don't you dare tell me that I can't reach my goals, when this woman, for example, has achieved the body that I want starting out exactly like I am starting out!!! And just look at her profile picture...abs and other definition poppin' out everywhere. Just like I want.
I joined Tom Venuto's website earlier this year and made friends with people who have read his book "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" and went through his program. They started out like me, not really over weight in an unhealthy way, but looking to improve their physique anyway, and you know what happened after they following his recommendations? They ended up with, you guessed it, the same look that I am after and a low body fat % and smaller clothes. Look at his website, for crying out loud! The women that go through his program are not looking to lose weight and look like Jessica Biel (not that it's a bad thing, just not MY personal goal) then end up looking like figure competitors and often times that's exactly what they become!
If you don't like my goals, don't message me about it. Just cheer me on and keep me accountable. I am certainly not starving myself by eating between 1500 and 1800 calories a day. I am also not overtraining by spending less than 1 hour per day in the gym, and no more than 5 days a week. I am losing body fat, but I am retaining lean muscle. When I get low enough body fat, then I will work hard to build muscle by adding more calories and cutting out some cardio so I can concentrate on heavy lifting. You might think that my goals are unattainable. You might think they are impossible. But that is exactly what limits YOU, not me. Because I WILL REACH MY GOALS!!! I have seen multiple other people reach my goals, and now it is my turn. If I were to send that personal message to any one of my bodybuilder friends, they'd laugh at it wholeheartedly.
Perhaps goals like mine are more suited for Venuto's Inner Circle website or Bodybuilding.com. But I thought that since this is My FITNESS Pal, they'd be appreciated here, too. I am not crash dieting, fad dieting, over training, taking steroids, or anything else ridiculous like that. I am not belittling your goals, you shouldn't belittle mine.
I am sure there are others out there like me...other healthy people who are made fun of for having healthy goals...but I suppose I was wrong to assume that I wouldn't meet such negative people on this website. I hope it doesn't happen to any of you.
If you read this whole rant, I appreciate it. I certainly don't like reading most other rants on these boards, but then again, mine is different from theirs...I am not trying to tear anyone down. I am trying to prevent me, or anyone else, from being torn down simply for posting goals that are different than most other people's goals. Sad that I even had to add a paragraph to my profile explaining this.
Yes, some people ARE at a healthy weight and BMI trying to become more fit. Since when did this website only become a place that can only be used by overweight people whose goals are to be at a healthy weight? Can the rest of us not track our food intake? Hmmm...
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Replies
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Well-said. I've seen a lot of self-indulgent, whiny rants, but this one is not in that category.
Good luck in your training!0 -
I read your vent and appreciate it...
AND (I have never sent anyone a private email, btw, and wouldn't do that), there are so many people on MFP with eating disorders of all kinds of varieties, that I think it's hard not to react. I had a friend who was fasting and I simply unfriended her bc it was too upsetting.
I think all of the eating disorders get people riled up and they try to be helpful, in ways that don't always seem right or feel good.
My two cents.
Best of luck,
Debbie0 -
I am inspired by you. We do not have the same goals...but what you are doing is AMAZING. This was very well written and I support you 100%. (I am tired of so many negative comments on MFP)
Good luck to you.0 -
I posted a 2 sentence introduction yesterday and got a private email from someone saying I need to love myself more and I have self esteem issues. All I said was I reached my weight goal using WW and wanted to switch things up and count calories to maintain. I totally understand your rant - I was just looking to make MFP a new place to hang out and then wondered if this would be the place for me.0
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Are you sure they weren't just showing concern? :flowerforyou: There are many risks associated with females maintaining 12% body fat year-round. Most competitors will drop to about 8-12% for their show and then maintain around 15% so they can menstruate. Nothing wrong with ab definition though, and most ladies do see it around 15%. That said, you can absolutely reach your goal. Don't let people get you down. I've had people tell me I look like a guy in my profile picture and make comments about me being on steroids when I used to powerlift. You have to do what is best for you, and just keep the risks in mind. Part of the reason I stopped PLing was a long discussion with one of my professors who had competitively PLed for years, and his joints are a mess now. I didn't want to be able to bench 160 but not be able to do 10 pushups!
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Also....you're getting married in ONE day?!?! :happy:0
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Hear hear!!! Excellent post and good luck in achieving your goals
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Kudos to you! This is the first "I'm going to stick up for my nutrition and fitness goals" aggression that is actually appropriate! I've heard people talking about how they are deliberately rude to people just so they can show that they are on a diet plan of some sort.
However, you're simply defending your right to have goals, and that's extremely admirable.
I'll overlook the fact that you're a cop.
Just kidding!
Many great wishes on your successes!!0 -
You know what, Lyadeia... You're absolutely right. I'm a complete stranger to almost everyone on this site (I only know 1 person here away from the computer) and the thought to send someone a private message saying their goals aren't mine, so they're not right, has NEVER, not once, crossed my mind. And, if we're being honest here, I think your goals are perfectly attainable! If you've got the willpower, ambition, desire, and motivation to do it, along with knowledge about how to get their properly, then there is nothing stopping you from getting to 12% BF and size 2 clothes!
Good luck on your quest to become a fitness competitor!
Also, I find that venting on a forum and then taking a nice long walk/run is a great way to relieve some of that stress and aggravation.
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Breathe! lol
This place can be as great or as horrible as we make it. I think it's great that there are people of ALL sizes and stages using this site. People have different goals for different reasons. Some set them at the moon and are happy to touch the sky. Others (like me) set them for the sky and are happy to get their feet to leave the ground!
Keep smiling! 0 -
I feel where you are coming from. I once asked for advice on how to boost my matabolism to get the scale moving again and I got so many people critisizing my food diary because they saw "fries" and "sloppy joes" and things like that, not knowing that those are my personal, healthy recipies I made and named myself. I felt the need to explain that and people started sending me messages about how I should take their advice and I shouldn't ask for help if I don't want it ect. Someone actualy told me I eat like a child!!! So rude. I had to block someone from sending me messages. someone even told me I should name my recipies to make them sound healthy. Why should someone elce even care what I name my recipies??? People are nuts.0
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Also....you're getting married in ONE day?!?! :happy:
Yeah, tomorrow at 7:00 pm. Which is one reason why I am in a "mood" right now and not hearing negativity, lol. :bigsmile:
And while I may not want to be 12% year round, my goal is to get there now so I can compete now. I am here to lose body fat and keep me in line to compete. While I am not competing, going up to 15-18% is okey dokey with me. But that's my "now" goal since my mind is focused on getting there to compete.0 -
MFP definitely needs a "LIKE" button for posts like this one - to let the community "PROMOTE" the post to the top of the list!0
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Let's face it. Some people are officious dinks. Ignore them.
Good luck with your goals, and have a great wedding day!0 -
I feel where you are coming from. I once asked for advice on how to boost my matabolism to get the scale moving again and I got so many people critisizing my food diary because they saw "fries" and "sloppy joes" and things like that, not knowing that those are my personal, healthy recipies I made and named myself. I felt the need to explain that and people started sending me messages about how I should take their advice and I shouldn't ask for help if I don't want it ect. Someone actualy told me I eat like a child!!! So rude. I had to block someone from sending me messages. someone even told me I should name my recipies to make them sound healthy. Why should someone elce even care what I name my recipies??? People are nuts.
Hey, I get that too with some of my recipes! I eat pizza, spagetti, etc...but instead of asking what it's made of, they criticize the fact that I having it at all. My entire 12" pizza has less than 600 calories, but it is chock full of fiber, protein, etc. and is low in saturated fat and sugar. I guess I should rename the recipe "healthy pizza like concoction" or something like that. :laugh:0 -
Also....you're getting married in ONE day?!?! :happy:
Yeah, tomorrow at 7:00 pm. Which is one reason why I am in a "mood" right now and not hearing negativity, lol. :bigsmile:
And while I may not want to be 12% year round, my goal is to get there now so I can compete now. I am here to lose body fat and keep me in line to compete. While I am not competing, going up to 15-18% is okey dokey with me. But that's my "now" goal since my mind is focused on getting there to compete.
That is so exciting!! I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before, haha!
That goal makes sense then! People might not even know that women can reach 12% or they don't understand the nature of competition, i.e. that you are at 12% for a short period of time. One of my friends said I was a huge motivation to her while I was (hesitantly) training for a BBing competition...she went on to get a personal trainer and compete in natural BBing within like a couple years! She started off with more BF% than I had, and now she is definitely leaner. Ironically, when I saw her leaned out for her first competition, I realized...I don't want to look like that! LOL. So now I am aiming for an MMA/boxing lightweight type look.0 -
Good for you!
And congrats on getting married. You will be beautiful no matter what!0 -
I posted a 2 sentence introduction yesterday and got a private email from someone saying I need to love myself more and I have self esteem issues. All I said was I reached my weight goal using WW and wanted to switch things up and count calories to maintain. I totally understand your rant - I was just looking to make MFP a new place to hang out and then wondered if this would be the place for me.
Oh wow, that's terrible. I figure that by coming to a fitness website you ARE loving yourself. And putting yourself out there on the boards like that SHOULD only get you positive people looking to lift you up. I think it's awesome that you are at your goal weight and this is a great place to be to maintain since you can track all your food and exercise. Good for you!0 -
Well said!!
I wish you good luck on your Goal and I agree with you that you CAN do it and I admire your will and determination!
I had a girlfriend that went into a fitness comp. and it was alot of hard work and discipline, she never placed but
I was so proud of her and guts to try and get on stage in front of 100's of people in a very tiny bathing suit LOL
I bet she was 10% body fat and 5'3". Anyone can do just about anything they put their minds too!!!
Good Luck!!!
I agree too that MFP is for everyone and any goal in their journey to health may it be 100 + lbs or 5 lbs or just to maintain!!!
Who made these "judges" the fitness police??? No pun intended :laugh:0 -
I feel where you are coming from. I once asked for advice on how to boost my matabolism to get the scale moving again and I got so many people critisizing my food diary because they saw "fries" and "sloppy joes" and things like that, not knowing that those are my personal, healthy recipies I made and named myself. I felt the need to explain that and people started sending me messages about how I should take their advice and I shouldn't ask for help if I don't want it ect. Someone actualy told me I eat like a child!!! So rude. I had to block someone from sending me messages. someone even told me I should name my recipies to make them sound healthy. Why should someone elce even care what I name my recipies??? People are nuts.
Hey, I get that too with some of my recipes! I eat pizza, spagetti, etc...but instead of asking what it's made of, they criticize the fact that I having it at all. My entire 12" pizza has less than 600 calories, but it is chock full of fiber, protein, etc. and is low in saturated fat and sugar. I guess I should rename the recipe "healthy pizza like concoction" or something like that. :laugh:
yeah- like you are thinking about how others will perceive your recipie names when you are making them! I set my diary to friends only after that! Congrats on your wedding tomorrow btw. Most fun I have ever had!!!!!0 -
You are right - your goals are your goals but I didn't even bother to get to the end of your rant - just a simple mind your own business would have sufficed.0
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Some of my favorite things to make are Sweet and Sour Shrimp, Chili and pizza. I don't care what others think. I'm not about to give up tasty things because I want to be healthy or lose weight. Just find a healthier way to make them and only eat one serving instead of 3 like I used to. Oh yeah; I forgot frozen yogurt with strawberries and a few chocolate chips 0
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I agree too that MFP is for everyone and any goal in their journey to health may it be 100 + lbs or 5 lbs or just to maintain!!!
Who made these "judges" the fitness police??? No pun intended :laugh:
+1. :flowerforyou:
I love the courage that it must take for someone to post on here when they may be self conscious about their weight. I wasn't that courageous when I was at my heaviest. When I was 191, I didn't go on any website and tell anyone! I admire those that do, because I wasn't nearly that courageous!
And I also love it when people are here to maintain...cause that means they succeeded in their journey! They inspire me, whether it was the person who wanted to lose 100 pounds, gain 20 pounds, or whatever. The fact is, THEY DID IT.
And there's others like me who are in pretty decent shape, but simply have stricter goals to get to specific place in their fitness. Yeah, we need to track food too! It's always said that it's about 80% food, 20% exercise...so of course we like the goal tracking, nutrition tracking, etc. that is here on the website.
We all belong! We are all here for different reasons, but in the end, we are just trying to reach or maintain reached goals using nutrition and exercise.
So, boo to negativity! :bigsmile:0 -
First......Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!
Second......I understand why you are so aggravated. .I don't understand why some people on here need to express why they don't like a post, an opinon, a goal or whatever it is they don't agree with in such a negative way. I may not agree with something you say, but I don't feel any need to debate the subject and try to make you feel the same way as me. Just imagine what this world would be like if everyone had the same opinion on everything?
Third.....Use that pm as motivation! Prove them wrong, there is nothing better than being able to say, I DID IT, although I probably would never have the guts to say that to someone.
Good luck!0 -
thank you for this! i will use it against people that are negative and unsupportive to me! You keep doing what you are doing and post pics when you reach your goal! Kudos to you!0
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I know exactly how you feel! Happened to me last night as a matter of fact! If people cannot be on here an be supportive of one another, then they need to find another site or keep their comments to themselves! Good luck on your journey and best wishes!!0
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I posted a 2 sentence introduction yesterday and got a private email from someone saying I need to love myself more and I have self esteem issues. All I said was I reached my weight goal using WW and wanted to switch things up and count calories to maintain. I totally understand your rant - I was just looking to make MFP a new place to hang out and then wondered if this would be the place for me.
I have been on MFP for a while now and was really enjoying it, but then lately there has been such negativity toward people just because it's not what everyone else see's as right. I'm starting to wonder if this is the place for me as well
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Yes, some people ARE at a healthy weight and BMI trying to become more fit. Since when did this website only become a place that can only be used by overweight people whose goals are to be at a healthy weight? Can the rest of us not track our food intake? Hmmm...
Exactly, people seem to overlook the part of the name of the site that says FITNESS. It's my myfitnesspal.com not mydietpal.com. 0 -
I guess I should rename the recipe "healthy pizza like concoction" or something like that. :laugh:
I do that. A lot of the recipes I create are called things like "bolognese like mash-up mess". Let them figure that one out. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
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