Afraid of going to the gym?
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Obviously you have some premeditative hate towards criticism of those who are considered overweight. Please leave the emotion and anger out of motivation threads. It never conducts a good personal attitude for others.When I was at my highest weight a few years back, I came to this realization: what's the worst they could possibly be thinking? "Wow, you need to work out, fatty?" Because that's what I was doing. :laugh:
Agreed that most people are wondering so much if they're being looked at that they aren't even looking at others. It's called the "fishbowl effect": everyone thinks they're inside a fishbowl and the world is looking in, when we're really each just another fish in a huge tank. :P
Not to upset anyone but I have read some awful awful stuff online that people really do think when looking at fat people, including thinking we should die or be killed or that we're horrible people for invading THEIR workout space, or thinking that we have no right to leave the house because looking at us is just that disgusting. (Yes, I have read a TON of these sentiments, over and over again. People are thinking it.)
I have hate towards prejudice against anyone. Sorry, but the thoughts of prejudiced people that I pointed out a reality that a lot of people deal with and just because it'd be convenient to pretend it's not real doesn't mean that it isn't still there. Yes, I have lied to myself and thought "nobody really thinks those things, nobody is looking" but it's better to deal with the reality that SOME people do think that way, just not everyone or even the majority, and then learn to accept that you are okay no matter what. I don't like it when people are prejudiced against others race, sex, gender, attractions, religion, height, weight, 'beauty', age, health/illness, or anything else. It's disappointing to see how controversial it is to point out prejudice and be against it... Is it really more acceptable to let those who are prejudiced run the show so we don't offend them?.0 -
Are you making much of a difference by having the same approach to this topic that they have? Accept waht is going on and you can personally deal with it. Help those around you accept it as well, and in time it will change. Rejecting public opinion will help nothing, and no one will improve.
Obviously you have some premeditative hate towards criticism of those who are considered overweight. Please leave the emotion and anger out of motivation threads. It never conducts a good personal attitude for others.When I was at my highest weight a few years back, I came to this realization: what's the worst they could possibly be thinking? "Wow, you need to work out, fatty?" Because that's what I was doing. :laugh:
Agreed that most people are wondering so much if they're being looked at that they aren't even looking at others. It's called the "fishbowl effect": everyone thinks they're inside a fishbowl and the world is looking in, when we're really each just another fish in a huge tank. :P
Not to upset anyone but I have read some awful awful stuff online that people really do think when looking at fat people, including thinking we should die or be killed or that we're horrible people for invading THEIR workout space, or thinking that we have no right to leave the house because looking at us is just that disgusting. (Yes, I have read a TON of these sentiments, over and over again. People are thinking it.)
I have hate towards prejudice against anyone. Sorry, but the thoughts of prejudiced people that I pointed out a reality that a lot of people deal with and just because it'd be convenient to pretend it's not real doesn't mean that it isn't still there. Yes, I have lied to myself and thought "nobody really thinks those things, nobody is looking" but it's better to deal with the reality that SOME people do think that way, just not everyone or even the majority, and then learn to accept that you are okay no matter what. I don't like it when people are prejudiced against others race, sex, gender, attractions, religion, height, weight, 'beauty', age, health/illness, or anything else. It's disappointing to see how controversial it is to point out prejudice and be against it... Is it really more acceptable to let those who are prejudiced run the show so we don't offend them?.0 -
While I may disagree about you criticizing others, I find that it is more of a defense towards existing criticism. You can't control anyone else, so why voice your opinion about how they should act? You are, in the end, no different than them. I am, however, pleased that you found the thread worth visiting so frequently, thank you for the internet traffic as it helps it pop up more often. =D
Okay, so it's okay to make a whole thread criticizing others for how they dress and what makeup they wear at the gym or whatever.... but it's wrong to speak out and say "hey, just be yourself and let them be mean". I really don't know why you made this thread to help counter their criticism if you are going to criticize me for criticizing them for being mean to people who just want to go to the gym? *Facepalm* And saying "be yourself and screw what the negative people think" is exactly like saying " What are these people thinking doing ____ in MY PRESENCE" ? Yeah, I'm so awful because I'm encouraging people to *Gasp* go to the gym in clothes that others MIGHT find objectionable...0 -
All I can say is u r in this journey for yourself none else it should not matter what people think there is always going to be someone judging u no matter how u look be yourself do not care what others think0
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My approach to the topic being what...? That being mean is bad and being nice is good? Will sitting back and never speaking up for people be more effective somehow? I'm pretty sure rejecting public opinion helped women to vote and other races to have equal rights, and scientists to make new discoveries the church and population might have rejected, and gays to marry in some states, and gays to be able to be out in public with their partners without having their heads bashed in, and the handicapped to have ramps where people used to not bother, and those with dwarfism not to be viewed as sideshow freaks, and yeah...obviously rejecting public opinion and speaking out for love and acceptance is really radical and ineffective.Are you making much of a difference by having the same approach to this topic that they have? Accept waht is going on and you can personally deal with it. Help those around you accept it as well, and in time it will change. Rejecting public opinion will help nothing, and no one will improve.
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All I can say is u r in this journey for yourself none else it should not matter what people think there is always going to be someone judging u no matter how u look be yourself do not care what others think
Amen.
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While I may disagree about you criticizing others, I find that it is more of a defense towards existing criticism. You can't control anyone else, so why voice your opinion about how they should act? You are, in the end, no different than them. I am, however, pleased that you found the thread worth visiting so frequently, thank you for the internet traffic as it helps it pop up more often. =D
Okay, so it's okay to make a whole thread criticizing others for how they dress and what makeup they wear at the gym or whatever.... but it's wrong to speak out and say "hey, just be yourself and let them be mean". I really don't know why you made this thread to help counter their criticism if you are going to criticize me for criticizing them for being mean to people who just want to go to the gym? *Facepalm* And saying "be yourself and screw what the negative people think" is exactly like saying " What are these people thinking doing ____ in MY PRESENCE" ? Yeah, I'm so awful because I'm encouraging people to *Gasp* go to the gym in clothes that others MIGHT find objectionable...
I have not been trying to be offensive to you at all. While I found your posts out of line myself, I thought that you were free to voice your opinion, although I also believe that you should not include negativity at all. I am not criticizing you at all. I find it perfectly acceptable how you act and comment, I just don't find it conductive. Please do not try to make me feel bad about how I act or think. I find that, in the end, criticism hurts not only those who are criticized, but also those who criticize. I don't find you "awful" for encouraging people to be comfortable in what they will at the gym, but I find extremist attitudes harmful and controversial.0 -
My approach to the topic being what...? That being mean is bad and being nice is good? Will sitting back and never speaking up for people be more effective somehow? I'm pretty sure rejecting public opinion helped women to vote and other races to have equal rights, and scientists to make new discoveries the church and population might have rejected, and gays to marry in some states, and gays to be able to be out in public with their partners without having their heads bashed in, and the handicapped to have ramps where people used to not bother, and those with dwarfism not to be viewed as sideshow freaks, and yeah...obviously rejecting public opinion and speaking out for love and acceptance is really radical and ineffective.Are you making much of a difference by having the same approach to this topic that they have? Accept waht is going on and you can personally deal with it. Help those around you accept it as well, and in time it will change. Rejecting public opinion will help nothing, and no one will improve.
No. Your approach is not an opinion, it's more of an MO. How you enter a situation and counter outer stimuli. I believe that there are different ways to 'approach' different situations, and that the way to help sway the opinions of others is through tolerance, even though it may not be recepted. Life and attitude tends to be an endless cycle and one side has to shape up before the attitude disperses onward.0 -
Also, I must say, just because I state what I believe, I truly do not mean that you should follow my attitude. Do what works for you. I'm just trying to help out those who feel that what they're currently doing isn't working for them. If you're happy in how you deal with life and the things in it, then don't change for anyone. Be you for you.0
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I have not been trying to be offensive to you at all. While I found your posts out of line myself, I thought that you were free to voice your opinion, although I also believe that you should not include negativity at all. I am not criticizing you at all. I find it perfectly acceptable how you act and comment, I just don't find it conductive. Please do not try to make me feel bad about how I act or think. I find that, in the end, criticism hurts not only those who are criticized, but also those who criticize. I don't find you "awful" for encouraging people to be comfortable in what they will at the gym, but I find extremist attitudes harmful and controversial.
I'm beyond disturbed that thinking you should love yourself and do what you want is considered 'extremist'.
One can never be positive all the time. One needs to criticize things that are wrong, that's how the world works. That's why crimes are stopped. Because people say "no, that's wrong". and do something about it. It doesn't hurt you to criticize someone for bullying or intimidating another. If anything the people doing the original intimidation/criticism might realize a different view exists and change their ways. If a kid draws on the walls with permanent marker you criticize him. He doesn't realize it's wrong until you tell him so. Yeah, that's oversimplifying the issue but the point still stands....criticism is necessary, and not all criticism is a hurtful attack. I didn't even mean to start an argument but I'm not going to stand for being shushed at for no reason... I understand you don't want people to get offended but seriously what I said wasn't THAT radical. If it makes you happy go to the gym in something others might not like and 'make' them mad because in the end it's their hangups making them mad, not you. People get upset over all sorts of things that are unreasonable but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do them. 0 -
I have not been trying to be offensive to you at all. While I found your posts out of line myself, I thought that you were free to voice your opinion, although I also believe that you should not include negativity at all. I am not criticizing you at all. I find it perfectly acceptable how you act and comment, I just don't find it conductive. Please do not try to make me feel bad about how I act or think. I find that, in the end, criticism hurts not only those who are criticized, but also those who criticize. I don't find you "awful" for encouraging people to be comfortable in what they will at the gym, but I find extremist attitudes harmful and controversial.
I'm beyond disturbed that thinking you should love yourself and do what you want is considered 'extremist'.
One can never be positive all the time. One needs to criticize things that are wrong, that's how the world works. That's why crimes are stopped. Because people say "no, that's wrong". and do something about it. It doesn't hurt you to criticize someone for bullying or intimidating another. If anything the people doing the original intimidation/criticism might realize a different view exists and change their ways. If a kid draws on the walls with permanent marker you criticize him. He doesn't realize it's wrong until you tell him so. Yeah, that's oversimplifying the issue but the point still stands....criticism is necessary, and not all criticism is a hurtful attack. I didn't even mean to start an argument but I'm not going to stand for being shushed at for no reason... I understand you don't want people to get offended but seriously what I said wasn't THAT radical. If it makes you happy go to the gym in something others might not like and 'make' them mad because in the end it's their hangups making them mad, not you. People get upset over all sorts of things that are unreasonable but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do them.
I'm not saying don't criticize anything. I'm saying: some things are better handled with acceptance. I, unlike yourself, was always entirely conscious that this is a weight loss aid site, not a political site. When I said what I did, I meant it in the lines of weight loss and confidence, not in the lines of society and whatever. Please stop acting as though you know what is better for me to think. I understand where you come from, and I don't disagree with it; I just prefer working/thinking in a different way.0 -
My attitude or MO as you like to call it (I really hope the insinuation isn't intentional.) is to speak out loudly when I see injustice. Tolerance and silence are two different things. I will never try to force someone to be nice to everyone or treat everyone equally or bully them into not being cruel or racist or sexist or homophobic or whatever. However I will be loud and strong with my opinions and let people know that yes, I am one more person who will speak for those who are victims of societal bias or anything else... One voice can lead to another voice and those voices can become a chorus of change. That's how positive change happens. One person at a time finding the bravery to speak for what they believe is right.. 0
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My attitude or MO as you like to call it (I really hope the insinuation isn't intentional.) is to speak out loudly when I see injustice. Tolerance and silence are two different things. I will never try to force someone to be nice to everyone or treat everyone equally or bully them into not being cruel or racist or sexist or homophobic or whatever. However I will be loud and strong with my opinions and let people know that yes, I am one more person who will speak for those who are victims of societal bias or anything else... One voice can lead to another voice and those voices can become a chorus of change. That's how positive change happens. One person at a time finding the bravery to speak for what they believe is right..
I don't understand your words in parenthesis. "Insinuation"? What do you mean?0 -
I'm not saying don't criticize anything. I'm saying: some things are better handled with acceptance. I, unlike yourself, was always entirely conscious that this is a weight loss aid site, not a political site. When I said what I did, I meant it in the lines of weight loss and confidence, not in the lines of society and whatever. Please stop acting as though you know what is better for me to think. I understand where you come from, and I don't disagree with it; I just prefer working/thinking in a different way.
I didn't mention anything political until you told me to shut up for stating what I believe. Then I merely starting giving examples refuting your claims that self-love is a radical concept and speaking out for it is somehow appalling. Please stop acting as if YOU know what is better for me to think. I understand where YOU come from and accept it, but I prefer working in a different way and wish not to be shushed. End of discussion.0 -
I'm not telling you to shut up/shus yourself. I'm asking that you keep posting moods within what is appropriate for a motivationally conductive environment. It's not my fault if you find personal offense from my (intentionally made) neautral-ish posts.
I'm not saying don't criticize anything. I'm saying: some things are better handled with acceptance. I, unlike yourself, was always entirely conscious that this is a weight loss aid site, not a political site. When I said what I did, I meant it in the lines of weight loss and confidence, not in the lines of society and whatever. Please stop acting as though you know what is better for me to think. I understand where you come from, and I don't disagree with it; I just prefer working/thinking in a different way.
I didn't mention anything political until you told me to shut up for stating what I believe. Then I merely starting giving examples refuting your claims that self-love is a radical concept and speaking out for it is somehow appalling. Please stop acting as if YOU know what is better for me to think. I understand where YOU come from and accept it, but I prefer working in a different way and wish not to be shushed. End of discussion.0 -
I think that all this poster was trying to say was who cares what someone thinks about u u r doing this for u no one else it should not matter what u wear or look like or talk like don't judge we r all doing this for the same reason and therefore we should not judge0
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Wunderbar.I think that all this poster was trying to say was who cares what someone thinks about u u r doing this for u no one else it should not matter what u wear or look like or talk like don't judge we r all doing this for the same reason and therefore we should not judge
I find that this simplicity entirely truthful. Our complexity has brought confusion into a meaningful topic, and such confusion is not desired nor needed. Thank you, wholeheartedly. 0 -
I don't understand your words in parenthesis. "Insinuation"? What do you mean?
insinuation (via dictionary.com) :
1.
an indirect or covert suggestion or hint, especially of a derogatory nature: She made nasty insinuations about her rivals.
2.
covert or artful suggestion or hinting, as of something implied: His methods of insinuation are most ingenious.
as applied to your use of MO or modus operandi, which is most often heard on TV "when discussing a crime and addressing the methods employed by the perpetrators. It is also used in criminal profiling where it can help in finding clues to the offender's psychology." (quoted from wikipedia,)
In plain english I was just saying that I was hoping you were not implying that my habits/ways of acting were so offensive as to be almost criminal. It was kind of a joke to lighten the mood, since I assumed you didn't mean it that way. ;P0 -
Wunderbar.I think that all this poster was trying to say was who cares what someone thinks about u u r doing this for u no one else it should not matter what u wear or look like or talk like don't judge we r all doing this for the same reason and therefore we should not judge I find that this simplicity entirely truthful. Our complexity has brought confusion into a meaningful topic, and such confusion is not desired nor needed. Thank you, wholeheartedly.
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Sorry that you interpreted my original post differently as indeed that was all I meant by it. Idk if the way I speak comes off as inflammatory but it's pretty unintentional.... I'm just a very passionate person.0 -
I don't understand your words in parenthesis. "Insinuation"? What do you mean?
insinuation (via dictionary.com) :
1.
an indirect or covert suggestion or hint, especially of a derogatory nature: She made nasty insinuations about her rivals.
2.
covert or artful suggestion or hinting, as of something implied: His methods of insinuation are most ingenious.
as applied to your use of MO or modus operandi, which is most often heard on TV "when discussing a crime and addressing the methods employed by the perpetrators. It is also used in criminal profiling where it can help in finding clues to the offender's psychology." (quoted from wikipedia,)
In plain english I was just saying that I was hoping you were not implying that my habits/ways of acting were so offensive as to be almost criminal. It was kind of a joke to lighten the mood, since I assumed you didn't mean it that way. ;P
You were correct in your assumption of my intention, and I'm almost offended that such a Latin term as MO has come to mean criminal. I did not need the definition, I knew what I said. I wanted the literal translation of it, which is "the mode of operating" or, as I word it, "How you do things".0 -
Wunderbar.I think that all this poster was trying to say was who cares what someone thinks about u u r doing this for u no one else it should not matter what u wear or look like or talk like don't judge we r all doing this for the same reason and therefore we should not judge I find that this simplicity entirely truthful. Our complexity has brought confusion into a meaningful topic, and such confusion is not desired nor needed. Thank you, wholeheartedly.
Sorry that you interpreted my original post differently as indeed that was all I meant by it. Idk if the way I speak comes off as inflammatory but it's pretty unintentional.... I'm just a very passionate person.
I understand; we good?0 -
You were correct in your assumption of my intention, and I'm almost offended that such a Latin term as MO has come to mean criminal. I did not need the definition, I knew what I said. I wanted the literal translation of it, which is "the mode of operating" or, as I word it, "How you do things".
lol yeah, it's pretty much only heard in that context by the general population. (I've only heard it in that context as well, really) If you've heard MO it's most likely you've heard it on a crime drama. Sad but true, and I doubt many know the actual meaning and would guess many falsely believe the word means something along the lines of " the manner in which a murderer kills someone" . And yes, we're good. It was never my intention to argue but I'm on new meds and I guess more easily annoyed than usual O_o;....
And on a positive note this debate hopefully got more people to see this thread and be encouraged xD0 -
Blech. I had medications for my "OCD" as the doctor calls it, which made me even more paranoid than I already was.
You were correct in your assumption of my intention, and I'm almost offended that such a Latin term as MO has come to mean criminal. I did not need the definition, I knew what I said. I wanted the literal translation of it, which is "the mode of operating" or, as I word it, "How you do things".
lol yeah, it's pretty much only heard in that context by the general population. (I've only heard it in that context as well, really) If you've heard MO it's most likely you've heard it on a crime drama. Sad but true, and I doubt many know the actual meaning and would guess many falsely believe the word means something along the lines of " the manner in which a murderer kills someone" . And yes, we're good. It was never my intention to argue but I'm on new meds and I guess more easily annoyed than usual O_o;....
I hate the "CSI" effect, but apparently it's presence in juries isn't too bad as to encourage any additional educationing to be interred.0 -
-To your 'additional note'--lofl.0
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i felt that way when i first started, i saw everyone else working out like it was nothing, , i was struggling, i thought everyone was looking at me, till i started talking to people , after that i found a lot of people willing to help me because they werent always fit either, the only exception to that is the hard core body builders , but you can spot them because they work out in the mirror and tell themselfs how huge they are getting but they are entertaining , go to the gym, talk to people , you will make a lot of new friends0
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How kind of you to speak out and begin this thread and stay positive.Ladies! No matter who you are, whether you weight 90lbs or 700lbs, don't be afraid to go to the gym! I understand that stared and comments can be EXTREMELY demotivational! Insecurity is bad enough, and being taunted and feeling self conscious can be a deal breaker when it comes to working out in public.
Please, don't be discouraged. I hated working out in public, but one day I woke up and thought to myself, "I want to get in better shape, and to do that I want to start going to the gym. So, no matter what people think, I'm there for me; not for them."
I, though still insecure about my body at 160lbs being 5'7", walk confidently down the sidewalk because, no matter what other people think of me, I am working on improving myself, so no comment about my appearance can hurt me. I'm trying.
I am posting this as a response to another topic which commented on gym attire. Ladies, wear what you feel comfortable/comfident in when you attend the gym. By all means, follow set dress codes made by the gyms, but wear what you are secure in. (Though, I would have to draw a line at wearing lingerie... That's a little too much. Kudos, however, if you are THAT confident in yourself. d(^.^)b )
Links for slight motivation:
http://fitnessblog.projo.com/2009/07/tips-to-jump-st.html
https://edhird.wordpress.com/tag/discouragement/
((***Just because I included these articles, I am not saying that I myself believe in everything in them; I just find that they may help others, who might think differently than I.)
Thank you!:flowerforyou: 0 -
well said!
Though personally I lack the motivation to get to the gym, that's why I work out from home 0
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