Tee Hee.......

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  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Things never to say to a police officer :


    1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer :drinker:
    (Shannon that one is for you:bigsmile: I'm a professional...I already know this trick...you hide it before stopping:devil: J/K I drink at home:smokin: )

    2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. :tongue:
    (Soupy...don't tell em about the radar detector)

    3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
    (Max, this sounds like something you would say :laugh: )

    4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! :smokin: (That's my line):devil:

    5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer? :noway: (Before this one's for you:tongue: )

    6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
    (Max? Before? either one of you:laugh: )

    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? :devil: :smokin: (Shannon, when transporting pit mates, please make sure you don't say this):devil:

    9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. :noway:
    Ummmmm not sure who would say this one..:ohwell:

    10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on the T.V. show Cops?
    (again...Max? Before...just don't say it):laugh:

    Jamerz........all of the above.....don't do em:angry::tongue: But you got a good woman to keep you in line....although that is a mighty mighty tough job..........*hugs Ezzie* I'm sorry :laugh: J/K :smooched:

    :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh:

    Ummm... errr... oh sure, NOW ya tell me! :laugh: :tongue: :happy: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :bigsmile: :blushing:
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
    :laugh:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    ...and oh yeah, we let our dog run free (oh crappola, shouldn't have let BEFORE know that :wink: ), and my workout time is directional porportional to my drinking time, so it's all good oh my sista's and Pit Mommies :tongue: :drinker: :bigsmile:
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    OMGosh kellch!!! You have me laughing so hard!!

    The worst ones I have heard are as follows:

    I have diarrhea! :sick:

    My spedometer is broke.:angry:

    In all seriousness.......The devil made me do it.

    *hiccup* What's the probleeemm osifer? Damn....I only had two! Say, you have three eyes!


    Stoopid morons.:laugh:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    hahaha, my husband says the best way to avoid an OUI is to suck your mouth dry of all spit b4 u talk to the cop...can't u hear yourslef now? Slurping spit lol
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    hahaha, my husband says the best way to avoid an OUI is to suck your mouth dry of all spit b4 u talk to the cop...can't u hear yourslef now? Slurping spit lol

    It doesn't work. Trust me.:wink:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    LOL I know...hubby had an oui years ago..lol but i guess he figures it'll work NEXT time
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    LOL I know...hubby had an oui years ago..lol but i guess he figures it'll work NEXT time

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Maybe second time will be a charm.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    If it's not a roll with brummel and brown on it..........I'm not interested! :grumble:

    :wink: :laugh:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    If it's not a roll with brummel and brown on it..........I'm not interested! :grumble:

    :wink: :laugh:
    *whispers to Tam* wipe that frosting off your lip...yeah right side corner..ok ok got it. :wink: It IS a carb...and I know u wuv your carbs.:smokin:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    OMGosh kellch!!! You have me laughing so hard!!

    The worst ones I have heard are as follows:

    I have diarrhea! :sick:

    My spedometer is broke.:angry:

    In all seriousness.......The devil made me do it.

    *hiccup* What's the probleeemm osifer? Damn....I only had two! Say, you have three eyes!


    Stoopid morons.:laugh:
    LOL:drinker: When I was 19, a group of us decided to go to a club. We had been drinking my dumbarse volunteered to drive:ohwell: (this is what taught me the reason 4 a DD...LOL) We made it about 10 mins out of town the guys in the back had 2 pee. So I pulled into a gas station & they get out. Next thing I know my girl & I hear a *tap tap* on the window. The officer asked me what I was doing there(it was closed)I told him we were looking 4 a friends house got lost they were coming to meet us. He asks how much I had to drink...wanna know my answer? :bigsmile: "nuuutttthhhhinnn" then came the *hiccup* I spent the night in jail:ohwell:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    Continued...(typing on my phone...limited characters:grumble: ) I spent the night in jail sobering up...Probably a good thing...:ohwell: :tongue: I shouldn't have been driving. Never again:noway: THREE CHEERS FOR DD'S!!!:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: But the funny part was...he say "Mam, how much have you had to drink tonight?" and I didn't say...just a couple or I haven't had any....I say "nuuuuttttthhhhhinnnn...*hiccup*" I knew it was over as soon as I said it.:noway: :smokin: :tongue: I just let him cuff me...LOL:drinker: :laugh:
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    Bwahahaahahahaha!!!


    I used to be a cop.:wink:

    I so wubs you my kellch!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    Bwahahaahahahaha!!!


    I used to be a cop.:wink:

    I so wubs you my kellch!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :smooched: :smokin: The things we do when we're young and dumb....but we think we know it all...:noway: :laugh: I wubs u too Soupy:smooched:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Bwahahaahahahaha!!!


    I used to be a cop.:wink:

    I so wubs you my kellch!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Are you gonna frisk me mam? Please oh please oh please?! :devil: :wink: I'm sure you might hafta do a full body cavity search on BEFORE... :cry: :huh: :noway:
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