Tee Hee.......

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2

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  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    How bout
    "That smell is from LAST weeks beer spill in the car, I swear!"
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    How bout
    "That smell is from LAST weeks beer spill in the car, I swear!"

    *writes that one down* Thanks for the tip:tongue:

    :laugh:

    How about, "officer those aren't my beer cans...I thought I would do my part to help clean up the community" *hiccup*:drinker:
  • mjfer123
    mjfer123 Posts: 1,234 Member
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    :laugh:

    good ones

    Dave Chappelle says this works

    I didnt know I couldnt do that
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    Things never to say to a police officer :

    I couldn't read 'cause of all the smilies.

    Who are you kidding? You can't read anyway:smokin: Excuses...excuses:tongue:

    deliv01.jpg

    I haven't seen Deliverance yet...I don't get it :ohwell:

    :laugh: :tongue:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    :laugh:

    good ones

    Dave Chappelle says this works

    I didnt know I couldnt do that

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    Things never to say to a police officer :

    I couldn't read 'cause of all the smilies.

    Who are you kidding? You can't read anyway:smokin: Excuses...excuses:tongue:

    deliv01.jpg

    I haven't seen Deliverance yet...I don't get it :ohwell:

    :laugh: :tongue:

    What? Are you a commie or sumptin?

    It's been showing on the CMT channel recently.

    No time for TV...Either workin, walkin the dog, workin out, or drinkin. Not sure that I can cut any of those out...it would cut into my drinkin time and that is a definate no no:drinker: :smokin: :laugh:

    Ask Shannnon:bigsmile:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    [

    No time for TV...Either workin, walkin the dog, workin out, or drinkin. Not sure that I can cut any of those out...it would cut into my drinkin time and that is a definate no no:drinker: :smokin: :laugh:

    :love: :smooched: :love:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    [

    No time for TV...Either workin, walkin the dog, workin out, or drinkin. Not sure that I can cut any of those out...it would cut into my drinkin time and that is a definate no no:drinker: :smokin: :laugh:

    :love: :smooched: :love:

    See...Shannon gets me...She really understands me :love: :smooched: :flowerforyou:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
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    Things never to say to a police officer :


    1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer :drinker:
    (Shannon that one is for you:bigsmile: I'm a professional...I already know this trick...you hide it before stopping:devil: J/K I drink at home:smokin: )

    2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. :tongue:
    (Soupy...don't tell em about the radar detector)

    3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
    (Max, this sounds like something you would say :laugh: )

    4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! :smokin: (That's my line):devil:

    5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer? :noway: (Before this one's for you:tongue: )

    6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
    (Max? Before? either one of you:laugh: )

    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? :devil: :smokin: (Shannon, when transporting pit mates, please make sure you don't say this):devil:

    9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. :noway:
    Ummmmm not sure who would say this one..:ohwell:

    10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on the T.V. show Cops?
    (again...Max? Before...just don't say it):laugh:

    Jamerz........all of the above.....don't do em:angry::tongue: But you got a good woman to keep you in line....although that is a mighty mighty tough job..........*hugs Ezzie* I'm sorry :laugh: J/K :smooched:

    :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh:

    Ummm... errr... oh sure, NOW ya tell me! :laugh: :tongue: :happy: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :bigsmile: :blushing:
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
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    :laugh:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
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    ...and oh yeah, we let our dog run free (oh crappola, shouldn't have let BEFORE know that :wink: ), and my workout time is directional porportional to my drinking time, so it's all good oh my sista's and Pit Mommies :tongue: :drinker: :bigsmile:
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
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    OMGosh kellch!!! You have me laughing so hard!!

    The worst ones I have heard are as follows:

    I have diarrhea! :sick:

    My spedometer is broke.:angry:

    In all seriousness.......The devil made me do it.

    *hiccup* What's the probleeemm osifer? Damn....I only had two! Say, you have three eyes!


    Stoopid morons.:laugh:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    hahaha, my husband says the best way to avoid an OUI is to suck your mouth dry of all spit b4 u talk to the cop...can't u hear yourslef now? Slurping spit lol
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
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    hahaha, my husband says the best way to avoid an OUI is to suck your mouth dry of all spit b4 u talk to the cop...can't u hear yourslef now? Slurping spit lol

    It doesn't work. Trust me.:wink:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    LOL I know...hubby had an oui years ago..lol but i guess he figures it'll work NEXT time
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
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    LOL I know...hubby had an oui years ago..lol but i guess he figures it'll work NEXT time

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Maybe second time will be a charm.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    If it's not a roll with brummel and brown on it..........I'm not interested! :grumble:

    :wink: :laugh:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    7. Bad cop! No doughnut! :laugh:
    (Tam this one's for you...don't fight with the ocifer):laugh:

    If it's not a roll with brummel and brown on it..........I'm not interested! :grumble:

    :wink: :laugh:
    *whispers to Tam* wipe that frosting off your lip...yeah right side corner..ok ok got it. :wink: It IS a carb...and I know u wuv your carbs.:smokin:

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