Husband dislikes my new muscles

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IndigoVA
IndigoVA Posts: 164 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband and I have been together for 11 years. I was thin (size 6/8) when we met, but after having my 2 kids went up to an 18. I started losing weight about a year ago and am now in a size 12. Although I still have about 20 lbs. to go, I've been feeling pretty good about myself for working so hard to get back into shape. I'm currently doing P90X, which has been great.

So yesterday I was sitting with my husband on the deck (wearing a tank top), and I lifted my arms over my head to stretch. He looked at me and said "Oh God, look at you muscles. Eww!" and made a disgusted face. Now I do tend to put on a little more muscle than most women I know, but I'm by no means looking like a female bodybuilder or anything. I was completely shocked. My response was "well I like my arms this way," but geez, if he thinks they're gross now, what's he going to think when I do lose 20 more lbs. and the muscle is even more obvious?

Has anyone else had a reaction like this from a spouse?
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Replies

  • LessMe2B
    LessMe2B Posts: 316
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    He's prob jealous :mad: :laugh:
  • kanonxbou47
    kanonxbou47 Posts: 265 Member
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    If my boyfriend said something like that, I'd probably cuss him out. That's not an okay thing to say.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    I haven't gotten face yet, but my fiance tells me that he doesn't want me to get too skinny all the time. Like when I tell him my goal weight is 132lb, but damn I am only 5'4. I told him I will stop when I feel I look good......and thats just what I'll do haha
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
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    Um, yeah. Had that reaction from my ex husband years ago. My pec muscles were more defined. Like I said, ex-husband. Today, he has a huge gut and still smokes. To each his own. :ohwell:
  • EuroDriver
    EuroDriver Posts: 254
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    how much muscle does he have?
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    Maybe he is afraid you will leave him. You are looking so good. My hubby decided to join me on my weight loss journey because he was feel that way. I just reassured him and now we are doing it together.
  • nonameclementine
    nonameclementine Posts: 3
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    That's a really hurtful thing to say to someone who has worked really hard and feels positive about the changes they're making. Could he be feeling intimidated by the new and improved you? Don't let his criticism deter you!
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Say it back to him at the next opportune moment! :bigsmile: Marriage is for better or worse...even if you're looking better and he's looking worse.:tongue:
  • SWEET31
    SWEET31 Posts: 40
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    that is not nice ,maybe he feels inferior because he doesnt have muscle lol , that is his problem lol :)
  • cjasins
    cjasins Posts: 93
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    I think you should just tell him sorry but I am loving my muscles and my healthier body :happy: Keep up the good work!
  • DonnaLFitz
    DonnaLFitz Posts: 270 Member
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    (You neglected to tell us HIS body structure... Is he overweight, too?)
    Some spouses feel threatened by the other half's improvements.
  • cjasins
    cjasins Posts: 93
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    I think you should just tell him sorry but I am loving my muscles and my healthier body :happy: Keep up the good work!
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    "well I like my arms this way,"

    enough said..
  • babydull
    babydull Posts: 727 Member
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    If my boyfriend said something like that, I'd probably cuss him out. That's not an okay thing to say.
    Agreed. My partner's supportive to me whatever size I am, because he understands my body is my business and if I'm happy, he's happy.
  • rubyrenga
    rubyrenga Posts: 402 Member
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    I agree with those who said he feels intimidated/jealous. Next time you are having a nice moment together, I would explain to him how hurtful that was, and see how he responds. Maybe he will open up about feeling threatened. Either way, try not to let it get you down. Muscles are hot on women and men!:love:
  • IndigoVA
    IndigoVA Posts: 164 Member
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    Yeah, I do think there's some jealousy going on with him. He has gained a lot of weight over the years also, and he isn't doing anything to get in better shape. But he's a man, and he's fairly tall, so I don't think the weight is as obvious on him as it was on me (at 5'3).
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    I'm afraid of the same thing. :sad: My boyfriend thinks Jessica Biel has a boyish body and doesn't like her tone even though I'd LOVE to look like her. He thinks Jillian Michaels is scary and way too built. He always tells me certain women who are celebs or in great shape are too manly and I don't want to be super built but I'd LOVE to have Jill's arms!
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
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    You could always look him straight in the eye, and using
    your best russian accent, tell him, "I'll break you"

    source: Rocky IV when Rocky fights Cpt. Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren)

    all kidding aside, why can't he be happy you're doing something
    to be healthy/ier?
    I've read quite a few people say how their spouse or significant other react so badly
    to their healthy choices. Are people that miserable with themselves that they have
    to try and bring us down?
  • katschi
    katschi Posts: 689 Member
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    Maybe he just doesn't like the new muscles.
  • mardavlais
    mardavlais Posts: 43 Member
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    I've gotten that look - but it wasn't due to muscle. It was when I was too skinny, then years later when I was overweight. Shrug. You have to be happy with yourself. - When you are, I'm sure you're much more fun to be around... and you probably feel better about yourself. He should reap some benefits from that. :)

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