Big Black Women

meekamathers

As an African-American female the decision to lose weight is contradictory to my communities ideal image of a woman. I feel resistance when I want to be healthy and feel support if I want to be heavy.
As a little girl I was told to gain weight, teased for my small frame, and often berated for just being a normal sized child. I dreamed of when I was going to get hips and a bubbly butt at the age of 10. Family and media encourages an unhealthy weight for Black females and criticize White women for any extra weight. Britney Spears is labeled 'sloppy' for looking, well...average, on stage. Jessica Simpson is labeled fat and ugly after performing a few pounds heavier than her teenage weight. Meanwhile, Beyonce is described as a goddess or vixen and is clearly overweight. However, I don't want it for myself. Healthy should be encouraged for ALL woman.
I am loosing weight because it's not right and it's not healthy having extra weight. I am loosing weight because I am not going to grunt, push, or tuck any part of myself to fit into a pear of jeans. I refuse to be in denial. I refuse to be a hypocrite, stating being a big black woman is how I want to be and then wear tights all of the time to conceal flabby legs.
I understand the push back I may receive from this post. I can predict the statements of " My husband/boyfriend loves my curves." I go do the club and men love my figure" and of course "I am big and beautiful."
Let me be clear.
A woman can be beautiful and be over-weight, but don't tell me she is beautiful BECAUSE she is overweight.
Lastly, it makes me wonder why Black women are pushed to be big? Why are unhealthy foods such as BBQ chips and massive 99cent sugary drinks pushed in corner stores of every Black community; meanwhile items like no-fat, low-sugar frozen yogurt and healthy hummus and pita chips in suburbs.
I am going to be a Black woman with curves- those curves will all be in the right places.

OlenaS

Wow, very interesting post. A lot to think about. I never realized some of the things you mention, but they make total sense. I like what you had to say, very thought-provoking. Good luck on your journey!

tcpowell25

Well said. I grew up the same way.

knowmydestiny

welcome to mfp! being married to a Haitian man i have struggled with some of those issues. my black family/ friends say i look great, big and beautiful; all my white family/ friends give bad looks and question how much i've gained . . . go figure. now i try not to worry about what people around me are saying, and i'm listening to my doctor, the facts and how much better i feel. we are at higher risks for many diseases that are completely avoidable if we controlled our diet and exercised more.

i think its terrible that the junk food is soooo cheap and the good food choices seem out-of-reach for many because of the prices. congrats on your progress already and again, welcome!

Kagard11

Hi! I'm a big black woman who has never wanted to be. It's funny that you bring up others views on black women and their size. My own doctor says I am healthy, but I am definitely overweight!

Aeliyah

Wow, very interesting post. A lot to think about. I never realized some of the things you mention, but they make total sense. I like what you had to say, very thought-provoking. Good luck on your journey!

I agree 100%. I had never thought of these issues... and I think that more people need to see this as well. I wish you the best of luck in your journey towards health and wellness, and good for you for standing up for yourself!

lil_pulp

I think you make really, really good points on a topic I'd never given much thought to. I hope that you reach your goals and can be a role model for other girls who feel conflicted about health vs. conforming to their community's expectations. Actually, regardless of your weight loss success, I think your attitude is exemplary.

(But I was totally expecting that this was a post by some misinformed-about-MFP guy looking for cybersex.)

-LP

Heather75

I don't think Beyonce is overweight.

nita85

wow this was very interesting! thanks

mssweetjay

I love your post!!! You told the truth girl!!!! NUFF SAID!!!!

bunchesonothing

I didn't like being skinny I was always told to gain weight. And I'm white. I longed for hips as well.

I don't think Beyonce is overweight though.

But, i can't say I know the black perspective, because I am not.

cheddarboy

awwwwww yeeeeahhh, u go girl!

I love the rant

PeachMommy30

I don't think Beyonce is overweight.

erickamw

I feel your pain. I'm 5'1 and 147 lbs. my family can't seem to understand why I need to lose weight. My mother even accused me of wanting to be like "those skinny white girls". I know that it is a double edged sword, I just want to be on the healthy side of the sword. I don't want disease to take me over and I want my children to learn healthy habits. It is so very difficult in our community where "good" food involves so much fat. Anyway, you can do this, we can do this. Thanks for sharing your story its encouraging to not feel so alone in this battle.

LorinaLynn

I don't think Beyonce is overweight.

Same here.:ohwell:

brit49

I don't think Beyonce is overweight.
[/quo

I Don't think Beyonce is over weight either. Good luck on your weight loss journey.

altak9

Lastly, it makes me wonder why Black women are pushed to be big? Why are unhealthy foods such as BBQ chips and massive 99cent sugary drinks pushed in corner stores of every Black community; meanwhile items like no-fat, low-sugar frozen yogurt and healthy hummus and pita chips in suburbs.

It's not just black women honey. I live in a poor community and there are more unhealthy foods available than healthy foods. It's all about cost. Pasta is cheap and unhealthy, therefore; it is plentiful.
You have the right mindset and that is what will make you a winner. Or...should I say in this case - a looser.

red_hatorade

I always wondered why it was "acceptable" to be larger if you were a black woman, but taboo if you were a white woman. I am a white woman, and I have never been tiny. I was comfortable and looked good at 180lb, but many people of my race commented that I needed to lose weight. I can't even count how many times I have heard "You'd be so pretty if you lost a little weight". I thought to myself, I am pretty even at 180lb, this is how I am comfortable and most important, I am healthy.

On the flip side, black men were always attracted to me, and actually liked the way I looked.

This subject has always confused me. My goal, and the goal of every woman (white, black, asian, hispanic, etc) should be to maintain a weight that is both healthy and makes them feel good about themselves. At 180lbs, I was both healthy and felt good. Us women have it hard having to deal with the constant critiques of others and horrible representations of how women should be in the media.

You do YOU, if you feel you want to lose weight and knwo that you will be improving your health and the way you feel about yourself, YOU DO THAT! We will always be here on MFP to support you and encourage you!

tameko2

beyonce isn't overweight - she went through a period of being VERY curvy but even then she wasn't overweight, when I weigh 150 pounds I look pretty chunky but I'm within a healthy weight. And now she's lost a lot of that, I doubt she is anywhere NEAR the upper range for her weight.

And Jessica Simpson was not a few pounds over her teenager weight, she was over 200 easily - but you do have a point here as I personally thought she looked good still, she is incredibly lucky to pack on weight in a curvy weigh, even though I could see she was very heavy she carried it fantastically. I think if she had been black she wouldn't have gotten nearly as criticized for it.

anyway tell your friends and family they are nuts, there is nothing that looks better than being healthy. And if your healthy body doesn't come with a bubble butt, oh well.

Atlantique

I don't think Beyonce is overweight.

I don't either, although her weight fluctuates fairly often as do many normal women's weights. I think when a stage performer goes up or down people pay way too much attention. Maybe she just wasn't on tour and dancing 5 hours a day when she goes up those apparently important 5 lbs. If she were your coworker and not a performer, no one would notice her weight fluctuations. Of course, she wouldn't spend as much time in public barely dressed if she were your coworker either.

I remember reading an article years ago about a study whose conclusion was that African-American women don't tie their self-esteem as closely to their weight as do caucasian women of similar ages. OP's post just reminded me of that article. Not being AA myself, I don't know if that study was accurate or not. Interesting though!

SkateboardFi

amen sista! you won't receive any backlash from me! i definitely think there's a cultural difference in the standard of beauty. as black women, stereotypically we are all 'supposed' to be 'thick' and heavier than others, i was also teased for my small frame and STILL get crap from others because i work out and watch what i eat. i think it all started with songs like 'baby got back' and the like. there's nothing wrong with celebrating our curves, but our history is laced with 'traditional african american' cuisine that's known for causing diabetes and high blood pressure (i.e. pork, fried foods etc). and yes, i've noticed the separation of healthy vs. unhealthy food. it's interesting how most organic and wholesome foods tend to be pricier while processed foods are more bargain-friendly. and because we live in a capitalistic society, supply and demand stands, meaning that lower income neighborhoods are more prone to unhealthy foods being placed near or within them, while the more expensive stuff is reserved for upper/middle class. i would say that food availability would be more applicable to economical status.