Confessions of slovenly wife

methetree

Oh and stay at home parents, its a job too, harder than lots of other jobs, you are not a slave or some sort of domestic appliance, just because one parent works outside the home and gets a pay cheque, the other is working longer hours for FREE, it does not mean that the one who gets to swan off to the office every morning gets to be a lazy *kitten* do nothing when they get home. I would still expect equal shares on cooking, cleaning and shopping.

At the risk of offending all the feminists on here, thats bullsh!t.

That job isn't that hard. Yes, it's tiring, its depressing, its irritating, and extremely time consuming, but if you think spouse is gonna be fine with you not working, and not cleaning, and not cooking, and acting like your job is so terribly hard, good luck with that.

I'm not talking EVERY day have everything perfect, by any means. I'm saying give it your best effort.

THIS APPLIES TO MEN OR WOMEN.

The one staying at home isn't working for free. They are working for food, clothes, a spouse that loves them, and a house and car and.... Just because they don't get paid money doesn't mean they are "working for free".

I can't stand people that act like being a stay at home dad or mom is the hardest job in the world. Seriously? Quite with the entitlement mentality. I design things where if I screw up, hundreds of people could die. THATS stress.

P.S. Not attacking anyone in particular, I'm making generalized statements.

You try and find someone to look after three kids, clean and cook and do laundry for less money than you earn doing what ever it is you do...good luck with that. You never took care of three kids did you? I don't mean babysat for an afternoon, I mean took 'care of' I imagine that if you did, then you would feel differently.

I am lucky that I have a man who realises that 'working at home' is as valuable and hard as going out to work, he doesn't expect to be waited on hand and foot, he does his fair share like he should. My kids are grown now and I have a job where I leave the house and get a pay cheque, I never ever work as hard as I did with three toddlers.

I think that Avalonis should understand that being a stay at home parent is equally as stressful as his important job, it is simply a different type of stress. I totally appreciate everyone's arguments here, but be thankful you have a spouse involved.

I am a single grandmother at 40 (she is 20 months) who not only has to work an important job to acquire a paycheck, but I also have to do ALL the cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc etc involved in my life. I didn't choose to have a toddler at this age, but the only other choice was to let her go into the system since my daughter fled to "live her life". I raised my daughter with good morals and tried to teach her to be a decent person, but she has issues and I learned that no matter how well you raise them when free will takes over, they are gonna do what they want to do and damn everyone else. I am raising the grandchild by myself, no child support, no partner to help with breaks, no going out unless I get a sitter (which is never)....

So, when there is a man in my life, I will treat him as I wish to be treated... as an equal in everything, a partner and a friend.
And if he should become a more permanent part of our lives, we will share equally....

lins_crafters

Oh and stay at home parents, its a job too, harder than lots of other jobs, you are not a slave or some sort of domestic appliance, just because one parent works outside the home and gets a pay cheque, the other is working longer hours for FREE, it does not mean that the one who gets to swan off to the office every morning gets to be a lazy *kitten* do nothing when they get home. I would still expect equal shares on cooking, cleaning and shopping.

At the risk of offending all the feminists on here, thats bullsh!t.

That job isn't that hard. Yes, it's tiring, its depressing, its irritating, and extremely time consuming, but if you think spouse is gonna be fine with you not working, and not cleaning, and not cooking, and acting like your job is so terribly hard, good luck with that.

I'm not talking EVERY day have everything perfect, by any means. I'm saying give it your best effort.

THIS APPLIES TO MEN OR WOMEN.

The one staying at home isn't working for free. They are working for food, clothes, a spouse that loves them, and a house and car and.... Just because they don't get paid money doesn't mean they are "working for free".

I can't stand people that act like being a stay at home dad or mom is the hardest job in the world. Seriously? Quite with the entitlement mentality. I design things where if I screw up, hundreds of people could die. THATS stress.

P.S. Not attacking anyone in particular, I'm making generalized statements.

I am raising 4 children 1 of whom has autism. I cook, clean, and do laundry. I mow the lawns and I make sure all 4 children do their school work. I go to parent teacher conferences, volunteer in the kids class, go to back to school nights and attend regular IEP meetings (for a child with special needs in the school system). Bring home papers to correct for one of my kids teachers. I volunteer to teach a wed. night class for 1rst and 2nd graders at my church. I spent a year and a half crying most days because we did not know what was wrong with our son and why he did not act or talk like other children his age. I went to his kindergarten class everyday to try to help him get through his day. In the midst of all this I still did all the jobs I mentioned above in addition to that I still do special things for my husband who brings home the cash. I work 7 days a week sometimes I am on call in the middle of the night. I clean up vomit, poop, and snot in addition to any other gross thing a kid can make a mess with. My job is pretty difficult at times. But you know what it is the best most rewarding job I could ever have. But to have some man who has never done this job kinda bash it is insulting!

I know you said that you were not attacking anyone in particular and I don't feel attacked but I did think you needed to be educated on the job of a stay at home parent. If I mess up on this journey I could destroy 4 lives that mean the world to me. The people whose lives are in my hands are the MOST important people I know. So to act like the job of a stay at home parent is small and meaningless is an insult to ALL parents who chose to do this difficult job full time. I agree with your comment on payment that is true. You just had such a callous almost snotty attitude about the job I do everyday including weekends and holidays.

Bravo :flowerforyou:

P.S. My son has ADHD and is on the spectrum also, I could not find anyone who would take care of him for me when he was a toddler, he was too hard work.

My son has Aspergers Syndrome (a form of high functioning autism). He is 10, last year was the first year I did not have to go pick him up from school EVERY DAY because the teacher didnt know how to make him mind, he did not listen like everyone else! He started a new school last year and they have been wonderful to him! I work outside of the home, so I was very fortunate that my employer allowed me to bring him to work with me. So I had to be a stay at home mom at my office in town... And you better believe after the days I had I expected a whole lot of help cooking dinner when I got home!

Momma24

Thanks for the nice comments:flowerforyou: I did not post that comment for cheers, although they did make my day:laugh: I just don't want anyone ever putting the job of parenting down. Someone raised the one designing the products that may kill us if he messes up...:laugh:

lins_crafters

My close single-mom friends that GET child support, know better then to complain to me, I work my *kitten* off to support my child with no help. Yes I know who the father is, and he decided he didnt want to be a father, I had his rights sealed. $3500 to seal his rights $10,000+ to hunt him down and try to get him to court so I could win SOME TYPE of child support then risk a judge granting him visitation to screw with my childs head? No thank you! I didnt start dating without a child present until I moved to AZ and my parents "watch him" after he's in bed for the night, rarely before. I have had most of my clothes since before I was pregnant, as well as shoes.

If you get enough child support to cover half your rent and all your daycare expenses, plus get every other weekend where your children go to a loving home and you go out and party. DO NOT complain to me when you dont have money to buy a $100 dress:explode: Do not complain that dad is more like a "fun uncle" atleast yours has a decent role model (for the most part):mad: and when you have a closet full of $80 shirts $150 slacks, god only know how expensive of Gucci shoes (that I KNOW are this season so you did not get a "deal") do not complain about buying your child a $40 bike

I don't have kids, but my mom worked for WIC and would tell me all sorts of stories of people abusing the system and how they claimed they didn't have diapers but have a brand new car and a iPhone.

I used to work for WIC too... you'd be amazed at the people pulling up in their Cadillac Escalades with their Iphones and their kids chowing down on Happy Meals with the promise of an ice cream if they would just be quite long enough for mom to try to get me to issue her more food vouchers because she had used all of hers up and couldnt afford groceries!

i_love_vinegar

I have secretly placed corn in my hubby's sloppy joe sandwich to prove he wasn't really allergic.

Some people are hypochondriacs.

Man - I am hungry right now! Did I mention my sushi addiction?

I'm a hypochondriac xD On another topic, when my mom and I were hosting an exchange student I would cook her food with extra butter, and pour oil in her food (just enough she never noticed)...I was mad at her and did this for around 2 weeks <---I stopped when she started complaining she was gaining weight, and began spending hours grabbing and tugging her face in the mirror. o__O :laugh:

I got payback when I studied abroad afterwards and the host family got mad at me and made me eat tripe until I finally lost it. :laugh:

Going to Japan next year for study abroad, for the sushi. Your post hits home with me, my dear.

mommared53

ummm who does check in? seriously do people really do stuff like that? I mean really grown up married people?

I have a co-worker who does. Seriously!

halobender

The one staying at home isn't working for free. They are working for food, clothes, a spouse that loves them, and a house and car and.... Just because they don't get paid money doesn't mean they are "working for free".

Word.

I disagree with some of your statements, but gotta agree with that. I don't think of being a parent as an "easy" job, but I do feel as though stay-at-home parents can sometimes over-dramatize their role.

But what do I know, I just raise your kids when you're too lazy to do it yourself

BillyC96

I'm the husband of the good lady who started this thread, and I have checked in with her once. It was when I got to work. I ride a motorbike, and when I got to the street where I turn to the office I came across the most surreal scene I'd ever seen. There was a car in the intersection, with a badly smashed up motorbike planted in it's side. There was not a soul in sight. I looked around and couldn't see anyone! I got to the office a minute later and was about to call the police when I heard the sirens arrive. It turned out the guy on the bike was launched through a fence, and I guess the guy in the car bolted to see how he was. I called my wife to say that if she heard about an accident on that road involving a bike it wasn't me.

The guy on the bike actually hit a pond on the other side of the fence and skipped like a stone off it. He was at least 50 feet from the point of impact. He was pretty badly smashed up, but survived.

Avalonis

Let me clear up a couple of things here:

I raised my brothers 2 kids for 3 weeks while they toured Europe. (at the time they were ages 2 and 5) I've had PLENTY of experience with kids.

I'm not saying being a stay at home parent is easy, its not. Its a pain in the *kitten*, and you give up all your freedom.

HOWEVER - Trying to make it sound like its the most stressful and hardest job in the world is ridiculous.

All I said was, if you are a stay at home parent, you should expect that your JOB is cooking, cleaning, and raising kids. When the working parent comes home from work, they should have to do all the cleaning and cooking by themselves.

Its a 2 part relationship. Each person has to do their share. I'm not saying the working spouse shouldn't help, but they shouldn't be expected to be doing the cleaning and cooking.

Momma24

Not saying it is the hardest job in the world..... Just the MOST IMPORTANT! My relationship is 2 part. Sometimes on Sundays my husband even cleans the house so I can have a day off....I always do for him and he always does for me. It was your attitude that bothered me:flowerforyou:

Avalonis

Not saying it is the hardest job in the world..... Just the MOST IMPORTANT! My relationship is 2 part. Sometimes on Sundays my husband even cleans the house so I can have a day off....I always do for him and he always does for me. It was your attitude that bothered me:flowerforyou:

Sorry. I'm a bit grouchy this morning. Hangover, yesterday was my birthday.

I'll agree that it IS the most important job

Momma24

Happy Birthday:flowerforyou:

karenjoy

I love my Husband, he is a really wonderful man and doesn't have any hang ups about important jobs, who does what, who works the hardest and most stressful or difficult job, he just does things as and when they are needed, that is an equal relationship.

Baby sitting kids while Mum and Dad go on holiday IS NOT raising them by the way lmao

sahm23ladies

Oh and stay at home parents, its a job too, harder than lots of other jobs, you are not a slave or some sort of domestic appliance, just because one parent works outside the home and gets a pay cheque, the other is working longer hours for FREE, it does not mean that the one who gets to swan off to the office every morning gets to be a lazy *kitten* do nothing when they get home. I would still expect equal shares on cooking, cleaning and shopping.

At the risk of offending all the feminists on here, thats bullsh!t.

That job isn't that hard. Yes, it's tiring, its depressing, its irritating, and extremely time consuming, but if you think spouse is gonna be fine with you not working, and not cleaning, and not cooking, and acting like your job is so terribly hard, good luck with that.

I'm not talking EVERY day have everything perfect, by any means. I'm saying give it your best effort.

THIS APPLIES TO MEN OR WOMEN.

The one staying at home isn't working for free. They are working for food, clothes, a spouse that loves them, and a house and car and.... Just because they don't get paid money doesn't mean they are "working for free".

I can't stand people that act like being a stay at home dad or mom is the hardest job in the world. Seriously? Quite with the entitlement mentality. I design things where if I screw up, hundreds of people could die. THATS stress.

P.S. Not attacking anyone in particular, I'm making generalized statements.

I'm a SAHM and when people say I have a hard job I roll my eyes. Yes, it's a long day, especially when school's out! lol But where else can I work where I don't have to get dressed if I don't want to, or I can just pack up everyone and hit the beach on a wild hair? And don't get me started on hangovers! lol

Yes, it's thankless a lot of the times & my "pay check" won't come in until I've molded my kids into productive, creative, self assured young adults! This ain't the 50s! Your life is what you make it... I say make it work for YOU!!!

I feel sorry for my husband who has to deal with a psycho boss, unruly underlings & generally stupid people for 13 hrs a day! If I get tired of my "underlings" I plop them in front of the TV or Wii and take a union break!

People need to get over themselves!!!

mommared53

Not saying it is the hardest job in the world..... Just the MOST IMPORTANT! My relationship is 2 part. Sometimes on Sundays my husband even cleans the house so I can have a day off....I always do for him and he always does for me. It was your attitude that bothered me:flowerforyou:

Sorry. I'm a bit grouchy this morning. Hangover, yesterday was my birthday.

I'll agree that it IS the most important job

You must be my son's twin brother he didn't know he had. His birthday was yesterday and he turned 25 also. :bigsmile:

Happy Birthday!

bluevwgurl

I don't understand how people can have so many unwanted pregnancies! I hate seeing women with 3 or 4 kids, feeding them junk food and ignoring them. Didn't you learn with the first one? use protection!

AMEN!!! i agree with this sooooo much!

i did a girls taxes this year who was pregnant (hugely pregnant) and she said "yeah this is # 4. Its a boy" (looking totally defeated). And proceeds to tell me how many Medical problems her other kids have. um...clearly you and your boyfriend do not make enough to support 4 kids (i was doing their taxes remember) hmmm maybe you should stop hitting the crack pipe cuz ur front teeth are black and your lips are burned! Guessing that is why your kids have problems. Birthcontrol is just too easy to get and use to be 22 with 4 kids...and a serious drug problem.. saw her last month... baby has serious issues. i just wanted to slap her!

mericksmom

I get very smelly gas before my period and I have actually woken my Husband with the smell...

OMG.....I have evil farts when I get ticked off. My husband knows when I am beyond mad he can die from the smell alone. :devil:

mericksmom

OK my confessions:



I HATE that I am a stay at home wife/mom- sorry but I rather be making money and do something productive then sit at home cleaning

A lot of time I feel like my husband doesn't really know I am around, that some magical force does the dishes, laundry, mows the yard, gets the garden taken care of, landscapes, pays bills, does electrical work and takes out the trash.

My son is the best kid ever, very polite and never gets into trouble and danger

My son has a thing for old ladies - I swear he will marry a cougar and be well taken care of for the rest of his life.

I fantasize about running away and becoming a prospector or bounty hunter.

I plan for my life after my husband dies- I know it is sad but from day one he swears he will die at 50 and I will be involved.

As I said before I have mad farts, the madder I am the smellier they get all silent and deadly.

My parents drive me nuts. I am 27 and they will call if an accident has occured within 150 miles from me.

I hate the affair my husband has with his games and TV.- for once I would love a 30 min long conversation

My MIL and SIL, in my opinion, need help just in general


There is more but I think you should buy me a drink or two for more....

cat3nv

Oh and stay at home parents, its a job too, harder than lots of other jobs, you are not a slave or some sort of domestic appliance, just because one parent works outside the home and gets a pay cheque, the other is working longer hours for FREE, it does not mean that the one who gets to swan off to the office every morning gets to be a lazy *kitten* do nothing when they get home. I would still expect equal shares on cooking, cleaning and shopping.

At the risk of offending all the feminists on here, thats bullsh!t.

That job isn't that hard. Yes, it's tiring, its depressing, its irritating, and extremely time consuming, but if you think spouse is gonna be fine with you not working, and not cleaning, and not cooking, and acting like your job is so terribly hard, good luck with that.

I'm not talking EVERY day have everything perfect, by any means. I'm saying give it your best effort.

THIS APPLIES TO MEN OR WOMEN.

The one staying at home isn't working for free. They are working for food, clothes, a spouse that loves them, and a house and car and.... Just because they don't get paid money doesn't mean they are "working for free".

I can't stand people that act like being a stay at home dad or mom is the hardest job in the world. Seriously? Quite with the entitlement mentality. I design things where if I screw up, hundreds of people could die. THATS stress.

P.S. Not attacking anyone in particular, I'm making generalized statements.

I'm a SAHM and when people say I have a hard job I roll my eyes. Yes, it's a long day, especially when school's out! lol But where else can I work where I don't have to get dressed if I don't want to, or I can just pack up everyone and hit the beach on a wild hair? And don't get me started on hangovers! lol

Yes, it's thankless a lot of the times & my "pay check" won't come in until I've molded my kids into productive, creative, self assured young adults! This ain't the 50s! Your life is what you make it... I say make it work for YOU!!!

I feel sorry for my husband who has to deal with a psycho boss, unruly underlings & generally stupid people for 13 hrs a day! If I get tired of my "underlings" I plop them in front of the TV or Wii and take a union break!

People need to get over themselves!!!

I hate when school starts back, I really miss my kiddos when they are not here during the day. I am a SAHM and a full time student. Being a SAHM is hard, but not horrible. Yes I have moments I feel unappreciated and taken advantage of. My children think since I am home they can call me to make a dozen cookies for their class on a whim. Their teachers know I can come to the school and help out.

I hate dishes and laundry which is all I seem to do. I make my family breakfast every morning and pack lunches for 3 kids and a hubby. I keep everything kept up to the point if I go on strike for the day I can get it all cleaned up in an hour.

This summer has been tough though. I am taking 2 summer semester classes and I have an assignment or a test every day. I have fallen behind on my chores, but I have 3 kiddos at home right now so we are good.

Being a SAHM is not the hardest job I have ever had, but it is the one I like the most.