"You've lost too much weight" BS

Ashley_Panda

Mine is the "You're going to look sick that thin." I'm almost 5'10" and want to be 175lbs. Hardly stick thin. I hate when people call me skinny or tiny or anything like that. Ugh.

audram420

Jealousy+lack of effort on their own part!! Keep up your great work!

VeganGal84

At Christmas, my family was all very supportive, but they all said something like "Just don't lose any more! If you lose ANY MORE you would look emaciated!"

Well, too bad for them, because at that point I was still a few pounds overweight. So I know that this year at Christmas, I'll get a lot of "you're too skinny now!" comments. Whatever, I know the truth, and all that matters is that I'm healthy and happy.

lauristewart

Yes, I hear it too!! My mom just last week said, you don't need to lose anymore.....and I am pretty happy here, but a few more lbs will make my legs smaller, which is what I want. I carry all of my weight in my lower part, so my upper body looks really skinny......but I am still at 150 lbs!! I am like REALLY??? Too skinny at 150 lbs!! LOL!! That is sooooooo laughable!!

mikeyrp

About 10 years ago I went on a diet and I dropped to about 11 stone (154lb) - at that time I got a lot of the 'you're too thin' comments. Maybe they were right but personally I don't think so: I just think people were used to me looking a bit podgy

This time around I've been working out a lot more and I deliberately dropped at a slower rate - I stopped at 11 stone 10lb ( 164lb) and I think that looks right - no negative comments from anyone either.

I do think its possible to 'over diet' - For one thing, last time I lost about 7lb as a kind of back up (like saving calories for the weekend) - that's just not sensible in hind site: Its more important to 'soft land' the diet and then maintain your ideal weight.

At the end of the day I would stop when you look in the mirror and think 'you know what - I am happy with how I look' - any number you set would have been arbitrary anyway. Trust your judgement first and foremost and if in doubt post a picture here - where people tend to be a healthy mix of honest and supportive - if people here agree its time to stop: it probably is.

Qarol

I can't help but think it's a bit of jealousy. Either at the actual weight lost or the discipline to lose it. It's difficult.

I know, personally, I have to be careful not to verbalize my obsession. Not everyone wants to hear about it all the time. I leave my vocalization to the people I know will be 100% supportive 100% of the time, like my hubby.

moriaht

I personally can't wait until someone tells me that! haha one day
Be proud of your accomplishments!

BethanyCee

Judging people based on their weight in either direction is crap. Just focus on yourself and brush off their comments. You seem to be doing very well for yourself.

jessradtke

I think some people feel that as long as you are carrying around extra weight and are struggling they can relate to you and commiserate with you, but as soon as you are successful with your weight loss/fitness plan they feel like they don't have much in common with you anymore. You become "one of them" instead of "one of us".

runner328

I am so tired of the "your too skinny" "don't lose anymore weight" comments. I have noticed the only people saying this to me are women heavier than me. I went to lunch with a thin friend the other day & it was so nice not to have someone commenting what I am eating & how much I eat!!!!!

kellydharriso

I've heard this all before, I feel like it is one reason my weight skyrocketed to over 250 at one time. It just seems easier to be fat and eat whatever instead of explaining to people over and over why you are eating healthy. I think it is mostly jealousy and a need for control that some people have. Keep losing until YOU are happy and don't care about others opinions!!!

Pangui

In today's society, and especially here in the USA, MOST people are overweight. We may be bombarded by images of thin models on TV and ads, but the people we see every day don't look like that. We are adjusting to a new "normal". What we saw as fat 15 years ago is average today. Add to the fact that you used to look more like "everybody else", but now you don't confuses the image people have of you.

I personally don't think most people say things like that because they are jealous. It's because they have lost sight of what is really "normal". Many are actually concerned that you may become unhealthy or develop an "eating disorder". Because, as everybody knows, dieting is just too difficult for the average person, so there might be something wrong with you if you are succesful. In time, they will come to realize (as you don't waste away), that you really were pursuing a path to health and in time they won't even remember what you used to look like. You will reset their "normal" image of you.

PositiveGoals

There's always the critics out there. Whe people know yo are trying to better yourself, they often try to hold you down. They watch everything you put in your mouth. I have the opposite problem. I am super morbidly obese. I am losing weight at an average of 2lbs per week. However, at my size, age and with my health issue I cannot lose this weight on my own fast enough to avert more severe health issues or death.

My doctors have strongly encouraged a gastric bypass. I will have one by the end of this year. I am trying to lose 10% to increase the chance of laproscopic as opposed to open surgery. I have been ripped by people (especially on MFP message boards). They think I am taking the easy way out. When in fact, after the first year, you still have to do what everyone else does. You have a stricter diet, dumping syndrome, foods you can 'never' eat again, loose skin from rapid weight loss, recovery, pain, etc. It's not the easy way out, its the hard way out. But its the last resort. Skinny people seem to think they have a right to judge me. But they can't understand.

In the end, I have learned that I cannot let their "ignorance" affect my goal. I have to give the same advice to you. People who are very large will resent your success. People who have lost weight often think they know everything and give you misguided advice. Don't you see. As long as you and your doctors are in agreement and you are working towards greater health, go for it. Do what is right for you. Celebrate each lb and every goal you meet. Post it proudly. Screw anyone who has a problem with it. Ignore them in forums and unfriend them if they are on your list. Stay away from the negativity. It will hold you down!

PJilly

I'm getting so tired ALREADY of people saying i've lost too much weight.

When i started back in Novemeber my co-workers were interested and supportive, i was asked everyday what i was doing and told it was all so great. 36 pounds later i still have so much i feel is important to work on, its exhausting to try to explain pounds vs body fat precentage to people who only want you to know they think its too much.
You just can't win. Now everyday instead of being supported ill feel like im viewed as some girl obsessed with a number on a scale when really im looking for a complete transformation of health and physical fitness.

Thanks to all my MFP friends for the support, i know you guys understand and are going through similar stuff.

Has anyone else been getting similar feedback?

Try not to let it get to you. Listen to their feedback, do some honest self-reflection to decide if their comments have any merit. If you're confident you're doing what's right for you, try to let those comments roll off your back. I used to get them too, but once people got used to seeing me at my new, smaller size, those comments completely went away.

twink44

I lost 50 and gained back 30 over the past 3 years. STRESS. I think "keeping your eyes on your own plate" is a pretty good philosophy. I have and do eat from all food groups - healthy ones. Weight always is more an issue when I am lonely. The thinner I am, the more it seems my friends withdraw. I'm almost 60 and my whole life I dealt with jealousy over my looks and accomplishments. All I ever wanted was to be treated with kindness and sincerity. Seriously, now there isn't anything to envy. I lost most everything I worked for - 30 years in building and development - moved to a place I had only visited once to start over and have in the process recognized I was way too over invested in shallow friendships.

This time when I lose the weight, I am going to find myself some friends of all sizes who accept me just the way I am.

nikmaack

Tons of responses out there, but I just want to get this off my chest...

I'm male, 5 foot 10, fairly large frame.

I've lost almost 100 pounds, from 280 to 182. When I got to 200 lbs (my initial goal) people were very supportive. As I work my way down to 180, they started freaking out.

"You're fading away to nothing!"
"You must have reached your goal by now!"
"Just how MUCH MORE WEIGHT do you plan on losing?"

280 to 200 is going from obese to overweight. Most people around me sit at overweight.

Going from 200 to 180? That's going from overweight to healthy. And that, I think, is far more threatening to them and their particular body image.

"Dude! It's okay to go from really fat to just slightly fat. But now you're going for healthy, and I can't help but take that as a personal criticism."

My response has become: "My family doctor said that 180 is a healthy weight for me to maintain, so that's what I'm aiming for."

That tends to shut them up.

Personally, I had a physical as I started my weight loss, as I reached my initial goal, and as I established a new goal. It's always a good idea to see a medical professional as you're making huge lifestyle changes.

hill2302

I have alot fo people now saying i don't need to lose anymore. I take it as a compliment that I'm looking good where I'm at. I'm 6ft tall and 185 now. If they started saying I was too skinny, I don't know how I'd take that just yet. I just tell them now it's not about the number but whether I'm happy with my body and fitness level.

My mom on the otherhand says I need to get down to 165. :noway: I'd be a toothpick at that weight. She means well, but has the asian mentality that you need to be really skinny.

TubbsMcGee

I love Summer, but I hate that being able to bare more skin means that people are more likely to point out that I've lost weight.

My parents HATE fat people. I grew up with my family constantly saying how "disgusting" fat people are.

I've never been overweight in my life, but for 4 months when I was 16, I looked chubbier than usual (my nickname growing up had always been "skinny girl" as I was such a beanpole.)

This lead to EVERYONE calling me fat/chubby/tubby/Tubbs McGee/Porky Pig/Orka.

...so once I dropped the excess weight, people started freaking out. My original weight was 108, but once I got back down to 117, the **** hit the fan.

Now, every time I meet up with family or friends, I'm constantly asked "do you eat?"
I've been accused of having eating disorders (when at the time, no I definitely didn't have one)

I feel the need to stuff my face with junk food whenever people are around me now, just so that they'll shut up and not make any rude ana comments. And I don't dare go to the bathroom after a meal (I have to wait at least 2 hours), otherwise I'm told "you better not be throwing up in there!"

WTF. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY.

Cloud_Dancer

I've been there as well. "You'll look sick if you lose anymore weight!" or "You look good just the way you are". The worst I have gotten, and I must say this hurt the most, was from my soon to be husband (and it was not said to hurt my feelings. It was in attempt to make me feel better about myself and stop worrying so much about losing weight. He didn't mean any harm, so no bashing) He said "You don't need to lose anymore weight. Your skin doesn't fit you now as it is!". I have to say that hit hard and honestly it is a little uncomfortable to get naked in front of him now. But I am still overweight and am not in a healthy weight range, so I'm just gonna do what I gotta do to be happy with myself. People will always judge. You just gotta be strong for yourself.

dad106

My personal favorite is "you're trainer is the reason you've lost all that weight". Right.. like he's got some magic secret that no one else knows about, and I haven't totally transformed the way I ate or how I exercised or anything... It's all my trainers doing and I just sat there. Makes me want to scream!

I also like how people assume that because you're tall, you weigh less then you actually do. When I tell people what I weigh, they go no way.. you have to weigh less than that. You're so thin and you want to lose more.. Uh yes, actually I do thanks.. and if you don't like then please by all means, go and jump off the nearest bridge!