What's the point in losing weight?

MellowGa

This says a lot to me, you need to stop this, it is bad for your mental state and your friendships. I want you to call your friends arrange a night out, have some fun, you don't have to go crazy, but have a fun night.

as they say all work and no play makes johnny a dull boy.

there is afine balence to achieving your goals, and getting swallowed up in the progression of it and failing.

Stop counting everything, just eat healthy....ie some eggs and wheat toast, not a bacon, sausage, cheese and egg on a everything bagel breakfast.

Eat a nice grilled Chicken breast, not 20 buffalo wings

Don't count them, but also limit yourself...

I used to go to teh pizza place...

3-4 beers, 10 wings, 3-4 slices of pizza

now I get..

1-2 beers or water, a house salad and 1-2 slices or just the 10 wings and no slad or pizza

I still enjoy it, but I just don't eat as much, I just curb my intake.

I like Ice cream, I just don't add any extra and only have 1-2 scoops

I love a good burger, so I have one, I also like Turkey burgers.


But you don't need to cut out your friends, add them to your life, you don't need to stress over calorie counting, just eat better, plus exercise and do things you like, I love to play soccer, so I run our local adult league, I play and have fun, we have about 80 over 30 year old adults playing for "fun" and health...because we enjoy it and it keeps us moving and helps kill work stress.

really it is up to you, don't punish yourself or your friends, because what happens when you reach your goal??

you can have both, don't cut one thing out completly, that is not what it's about.

Ok maybe donuts can go, but not everything else

Nikki_is_Knotty

Okay, I'm about to become very unpopular:

Bull S*it. You're making excuses because you're burnt out. I don't know how long you've been doing this....and really it doesn't matter...Take a week off....if you feel guilty see a therapist...it seems like you have anxiety issues about gaining weight back. Have a cheat day, whatever...you skip a workout it's not going to kill you. You eat a candy bar one day a week, it's not going to kill you.

You eat the right things and you exercise in order to live the life that YOU WANT to lead. If you want to lead a 295lb life and be on medication and shave years off your life...then by all means, I'm not going to say it's a bad idea FOR YOU, because you are happy.

But in my opinion....you need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself....what kind of life do I want to lead 30 years down the road?

Your just telling it like it is, I agree, i used to be an all or nothing kind of person, now i am more forgiving of myself, and in turn i am more happy, sticking with it, and losing weight!!

dannysilvestre

I think you've got other stuff going on in your life and you're using your weight loss as an excuse for why things are going wrong. When you were 295, you would've used being overweight as the excuse. It really is true what people say -- losing the weight won't suddenly make you happy or solve every problem you ever had. Skinny people have the same problems as fat people.

Think about what's really bothering you. Your mentioning friends a lot and one of your updates today was about your friends. What's going on there and what steps can you take to fix it?

No, what you don't understand is that there ISN'T anything else going on in my life. I've pushed away every single one of my friends because I have calories to count and recipes to save and exercise to do and scales to step on and water to drink. Every single minute of my day is devoted to food. You know, I think I wake up in the mornings just to eat breakfast. I went to see a movie with my family tonight and couldn't pay attention to it because of the popcorn my little brother was eating and the 30DS I was skipping.

Okay, I'm about to become very unpopular:

Bull S*it. You're making excuses because you're burnt out. I don't know how long you've been doing this....and really it doesn't matter...Take a week off....if you feel guilty see a therapist...it seems like you have anxiety issues about gaining weight back. Have a cheat day, whatever...you skip a workout it's not going to kill you. You eat a candy bar one day a week, it's not going to kill you.

You eat the right things and you exercise in order to live the life that YOU WANT to lead. If you want to lead a 295lb life and be on medication and shave years off your life...then by all means, I'm not going to say it's a bad idea FOR YOU, because you are happy.

But in my opinion....you need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself....what kind of life do I want to lead 30 years down the road?

he said everything.

dannysilvestre

I also was like you girl, an all or nothing person, thats why i have never ever succed. now if i want to have a piece of chocolate, i just have it. i loooooooooooooooove nutella. sometimes, to treat myself, i do have a tablespoon and thats it

bwinslow42

heres something i have read recently that has helped me :
a belief is a thought that you keep on thinking and what yoy belive about yourself really does become what you are. so improve those beliefs

MysterriGal

There are different levels to being healthy, you've done awesome with getting your body there, but it has meant sacrificing your social life, which hits your mental and emotional health. Its really easy to do when you've got something getting in the way of the simple things that make you happy, and the things that make you you. (Not only weight loss, but relationships, jobs with crazy hours, none of it bad, but it all takes a big part of you) There always has to be a balance, and after coming through all that you have, its getting time to get that back. If you went totally back to unhealthy habits, you'd most likely be miserable, unhealthy and disappointed after all the sacrifice you've made so far. Maybe it might take discipline, like not eating or drinking a million things with your friends, or taking the time to workout when you've got soo much to do that day, but its possible. It may take scheduling out your day, and you may need to do it slowly at first. There IS no point in being miserable, but it IS possible to be happy and healthy at the same time. I know because I'm in the middle of getting that balance back (Not from weight loss, but something else) and it feels good to take these steps. Feel better and good luck.

lcs1211

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been on this site for about 180 days and I love the support and friendships. As for the time spent, I feel I have much more time because I have more energy and just feel better. I exercise 60 - 90 minutes a day at least 6 days a week and although I am still about 15 lbs. from my goal weight, I feel like a totally different person. I do not spend a lot of time calorie counting, I just log what I eat and make sure it is in my allotment for that day. I hope you will stick with it and get the energy / love of life that I have gotten since I started exercising and joined this site to count calories and make friends. Feel free to add me and I will gladly offer all the support and encouragement I can. Best of luck to you!

HalloweenNinja

Hmm... I'm going to say something that's not entirely different to what Joehempel has already said, but I personally do disagree with his summary:

----

To everyone: seriously, what's with everyone and this massive desire to be slim, fit and what you consider "healthy" and the rage when someone doesn't have the same view as your own? Why is it you guys can't accept that some people are simply happier with their life when they are a different shape to what you consider ideal? There is nothing wrong with being 150lb, it's only bad when the 150lb person is unhappy with weighing 150lb.

We have one life to enjoy: taking care of our health, fitness and well being is simply to allow us to enjoy our life as much as possible for as long as possible. If at any point you realise that you're not enjoying life, then something needs to change. And as long as you enjoy your life, you should never care about what other people think or say.

----

To Funkyspunky: what I'm going to say is going to direct and honest - I don't do the whole beat-around-the-bush thing.

You're doing it wrong.
If you've cut out the friends you want to keep, you're doing it wrong.
If you're devoting minute of my day to thinking about food, you're doing it wrong.
If you feel like you're wake up in the mornings just to eat breakfast, you're doing it wrong.
If you can't even enjoy a movie with your family, you're doing it wrong.
If you're not enjoying your life any more, you're doing it wrong.

People change all the time. As we change, the goals and challenges that make us happy in life changes. As these change, our actions need to change.

Change is *not* a big deal. Months ago you felt that you were overweight, so you changed your lifestyle to change that. Similarly, people who aren't satisfied with their jobs look for jobs elsewhere. People who aren't satisfied with their love life go to new social events, sign up to dating websites, date new acquaintances.

Now that you feel that you're not getting the social life you want, this is now the time to change that.

The most important thing in life is to enjoy life, and the things that make you enjoy life have now changed. Do yourself a favour: figure out what they are and go for them.

Painten

To Funkyspunky: what I'm going to say is going to direct and honest - I don't do the whole beat-around-the-bush thing.

You're doing it wrong.
If you've cut out the friends you want to keep, you're doing it wrong.
If you're devoting minute of my day to thinking about food, you're doing it wrong.
If you feel like you're wake up in the mornings just to eat breakfast, you're doing it wrong.
If you can't even enjoy a movie with your family, you're doing it wrong.
If you're not enjoying your life any more, you're doing it wrong.

So important i think it deserves repeating.

HMonsterX

You've gone too far in the other direction.

You've become obsessed, addicted to the whole process.

This whole thing is about balance. Learning to balance eating right and exercising with your normal everyday life.

Have a chat to your doctor. He may recommend councelling, as your mind isn't right. You need someone to help you put things into perspective. If you stay as you are eventually you'll have a meltdown, and either get clinically depressed, start eating everything again, or both...

Shrinking_Xtina

Hmm... I'm going to say something that's not entirely different to what Joehempel has already said, but I personally do disagree with his summary:

----

To everyone: seriously, what's with everyone and this massive desire to be slim, fit and what you consider "healthy" and the rage when someone doesn't have the same view as your own? Why is it you guys can't accept that some people are simply happier with their life when they are a different shape to what you consider ideal? There is nothing wrong with being 150lb, it's only bad when the 150lb person is unhappy with weighing 150lb.

We have one life to enjoy: taking care of our health, fitness and well being is simply to allow us to enjoy our life as much as possible for as long as possible. If at any point you realise that you're not enjoying life, then something needs to change. And as long as you enjoy your life, you should never care about what other people think or say.

----

To Funkyspunky: what I'm going to say is going to direct and honest - I don't do the whole beat-around-the-bush thing.

You're doing it wrong.
If you've cut out the friends you want to keep, you're doing it wrong.
If you're devoting minute of my day to thinking about food, you're doing it wrong.
If you feel like you're wake up in the mornings just to eat breakfast, you're doing it wrong.
If you can't even enjoy a movie with your family, you're doing it wrong.
If you're not enjoying your life any more, you're doing it wrong.

People change all the time. As we change, the goals and challenges that make us happy in life changes. As these change, our actions need to change.

Change is *not* a big deal. Months ago you felt that you were overweight, so you changed your lifestyle to change that. Similarly, people who aren't satisfied with their jobs look for jobs elsewhere. People who aren't satisfied with their love life go to new social events, sign up to dating websites, date new acquaintances.

Now that you feel that you're not getting the social life you want, this is now the time to change that.

The most important thing in life is to enjoy life, and the things that make you enjoy life have now changed. Do yourself a favour: figure out what they are and go for them.

*Applause* for a rational, non-offensive honest response. :drinker: He's right!

nikkijune1811

If you stick to it, you WILL lose the weight! It's a challenge, but it's possible. Also, you have to at least give yourself a chance. Once you lose all the weight, you'll be used to eating less and probably won't gain it back. You have control over your weight, you just need to give yourself a chance.

nsblue

funkyspunky871, getting skinny,losing weight, getting healthy or what ever term used, the journey there has many facets to overcome if you want to be successful and it sounds like you are struggling with a few. Almost sounds like you have a late bout of grieving, of your life with food you once had. Please don't give into those feelings. Look at how far you have come. Work on the issues at hand, they can be resolved.
Our relationship with food, our thought processes, our very "social" being can be so intermingled with food there are many obstacles and issues we have to face and resolve. Examining ourselfs and making a behavioural modification plan helps in those times when faced with demons of our self and past histories.
funkyspunky871, don't give up on you, you have come this far, work on your inner you, squash those demons that can destroy your hard work. polish and refine what you have done so far....things wil get better.

krystonite

Who cares about being skinny? Surely the aim is to be fitter, healthier and be happier with yourself.

I was happier at 295 pounds.

There's nothing to be happy about eating your way to cancer, fatigue, diabetes and other disasters.

funkyspunky871

Who cares about being skinny? Surely the aim is to be fitter, healthier and be happier with yourself.

I was happier at 295 pounds.

There's nothing to be happy about eating your way to cancer, fatigue, diabetes and other disasters.

Nothing to be happy about bulimia either.

atomdraco

Who cares about being skinny? Surely the aim is to be fitter, healthier and be happier with yourself.

I was happier at 295 pounds.

There's nothing to be happy about eating your way to cancer, fatigue, diabetes and other disasters.

Nothing to be happy about bulimia either.

Did you read all the responses from people who care about you? Doesn't seems you are taking any of those in and willing to change to a healthier process. Are you just trying to get some attentions, or you are really seeking for help? If you are seriously want some help, stop being negative, and take those good advices, and make it a healthier and happy process.

funkyspunky871

Who cares about being skinny? Surely the aim is to be fitter, healthier and be happier with yourself.

I was happier at 295 pounds.

There's nothing to be happy about eating your way to cancer, fatigue, diabetes and other disasters.

Nothing to be happy about bulimia either.

Did you read all the responses from people who care about you? Doesn't seems you are taking any of those in and willing to change to a healthier process. Are you just trying to get some attentions, or you are really seeking for help? If you are seriously want some help, stop being negative, and take those good advices, and make it a healthier and happy process.

That's like telling an anorexic to just eat a cheeseburger and be done with it. Maybe I was seeking help, I'm not sure.... I'm pretty sure I was just looking for an opportunity to rant, maybe find someone who feels the same way. I read every response though and appreciate all the advice. It's nothing I didn't know before, but it is nice to hear again, I guess.

Seajolly

Agree with a lot of the advice on here but I just want to put in my own 2 cents. Healthy living is all about balance. You can be skinny but out of balance just like you can be overweight and be out of balance. It seems like your life is out of balance right now. You are doing well with the weight loss but not with your personal life. You need to learn how to balance your weight loss with your life.

I have found the perfect balance for me. I always put myself first when it comes to working out. If I have friends who want to hang out, I will plan a workout for before seeing them if at all possible. But I always make myself available for my friends. It can't be all work and no play with weight loss! You have to see your friends and family and spend quality time together!

Also, it's okay to indulge in food too. You mentioned the movie theatre popcorn. If I know I'm going to see a movie, I will plan accordingly and usually allow myself a treat at the movies (but only if it isn't going to put me over calorie-wise). Or if I wanna go out to a bar with friends I'll treat myself to a couple of drinks, but only if they fit into my calories for the day. To ensure this, I'll eat a little less during the day or workout more.

A healthy life is all about balance! You can do this!!

ckmama

why were you happier at 295? what is bothering you?

At least I had a life at 295. I had friends, and I had other interests. My entire life revolves around food, exercise, and weight loss now.

I'm really not trying to be ugly, I swear, b/c I've been where you are and at 285.

But your life was revolving around food when you were at 295 as well just around unhealthy food and drink. You've only added the exercise and consiquently the weight loss.

You obviously weren't happier at 295 because you chose to lose the weight. I would dare say if the friends you had don't hang with you anymore it's because of them not you. Some people can't face their own issues and seeing you succeed might be one of them.

Good luck don't quit. You will push past this low point.