Tell me your favorite joke. We all need a good laugh.. Good

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Mdbondurant
Mdbondurant Posts: 104
in Chit-Chat
Why do midgets laugh when they run??

:laugh:
Because the grass tickles there nards....
«13

Replies

  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Q. What's brown and sticky?
    A. A stick!

    Q. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A. A carrot!

    Those are really the only two jokes I know! :laugh:
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    An apple and a banana walk into a bar.
    The bartenders says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    two dogs are walking down the street and they see parking meters and one says to the other, look pay toilets.
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Q- Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??


    A- Because it was dead. :)
  • applebottomjeans11
    applebottomjeans11 Posts: 46 Member
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    This is one of my favorites...

    A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a rum.................and coke". The bartender says, "Why the huge pause"? The Polar Bear looks at his "Paws" and says "I don't know I was born with them"! LMAO, it makes me smile every time, too cute!:bigsmile:
  • applebottomjeans11
    applebottomjeans11 Posts: 46 Member
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    Love This One!!!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    A woman tells her husband she is thinking of getting a boob job because she wants bigger boobs, he says well I know how you can do that without surgery. She said really how? He said just take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts , a couple times a day for a year or two. She says now how is that supposed to work? He says I don't know but it worked for your *kitten*.
  • amyrc12
    amyrc12 Posts: 183 Member
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    Two Peanuts walk into a bar...

    on was A Salted
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
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    WARNING: THESE ARE GROSS!!! (I teach 7th grade, the kids love 'em.)


    Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

    A: Salad shooter!!




    ~Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

    ~He worked it out with a pencil.
  • Mdbondurant
    Mdbondurant Posts: 104
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    Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7
    A. Because 7 8(ate) 9! :laugh:
  • Prinzessschen
    Prinzessschen Posts: 2
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    Q: What's between sex and fear?

    A: Fünf!

    You only understand it if you know the numbers in German. :D
  • Mdbondurant
    Mdbondurant Posts: 104
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    A man comes home and shouts, "Honey pack your bags, I hit the lottery!!" She says "OMG what should I pack?" He says "Everything get the hell out biotch!!"

    Something about this isn't quite right:

    new version

    A woman comes home and shouts, "Honey pack your bags, I hit the lottery!!" He says "OMG what should I pack?" She says "Everything get the hell out biotch!!"

    much better. :wink:
  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
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    Two men run into a bar. You would think the second one would have seen it.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    This is totally lame, but it makes me laugh...

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

    A stick!
  • Mdbondurant
    Mdbondurant Posts: 104
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    This is totally lame, but it makes me laugh...

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

    A stick!

    that one made me Laugh Out Loud! :laugh:
  • mike_hill
    mike_hill Posts: 61 Member
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    Three men break into a cheese shop to get their fix. As soon as they get in the store owner catches them. In a panic they each grab some cheese, stuff it into a napsack and run away. After running for a while they finally lose the store owner. The first man pulls out his cheese and find chedder. The second man pulls out his cheese and finds swiss. Now the third man doesn't reach for his cheese but instead says, "I already know what kind it is. The shop owner kept yelling it at me: 'Nacho cheese, nacho cheese!'

    :)
  • gbbhey
    gbbhey Posts: 188
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    Where does the scientologist keep his coffee cup?
    In his L. Ron Cupboard
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    A man comes home and shouts, "Honey pack your bags, I hit the lottery!!" She says "OMG what should I pack?" He says "Everything get the hell out biotch!!"

    Something about this isn't quite right:

    new version

    A woman comes home and shouts, "Honey pack your bags, I hit the lottery!!" He says "OMG what should I pack?" She says "Everything get the hell out biotch!!"

    much better. :wink:

    Love it!
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
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    This is so lame but it makes me laugh!

    Q: Where do fish sleep?

    A: In waterbeds!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman
    rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to
    the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just
    as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy
    slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.
    Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel.. My
    mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'.*

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